by: Grey
The man who looks like the man from Man Vs. Food’s father, Lance Berkman, is on a ginormous Kaiser roll. Speaking of pastry, it’s not a coincidence that Lance Berkman’s initials are LB. When he got to St. Louis, he asked the cabbie where the second arch is and why isn’t it painted gold. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ryan Franklin was replaced yesterday, but it came so begrudgingly, La Russa wouldn’t even announce who would replace him. GM Mozeliak held a knife to a squirrel’s neck to try and get La Russa to tell us who would be the closer and still nothing. “There’s only two things in this world I hold dear […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Someone defrost Ted Williams’ head, Jed Lowrie is hitting .516. If Mickey Rooney were playing the part of Dice-K, he’d say Jed is so Lovrie. That’s if we can pull Rooney away from pooping in your neighbor’s chimney. Right now, Lowrie is seasoning up fantasy steaks something delicious, but can this continue? No, of course […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Nathan reclaimed his closer job this year but was missing something, consistently putting his team behind the 8-ball, so the Twins shifted to CAPPS. On March 25th, I said this about the Matt Capps and Taipei Slinko shituation, “Here’s what I see happening. Nathan gets torched and Capps saves a few games while Nathan […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Not that there’s anything wrong about being from NJ. Both Rudy and I are proud to be from NJ, though not in NJ. NJ ex-pats are great. We spread our love of high-haired women and capicola around the country. As for Jay Bruce, he’s sucking on the ol’ suckhole. You can say that again, but […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?There’s no Sonavabench! shirt. There’s no Latin 32 shirt with a silhouette of Pujols. There’s not even a Cust Kayin’ shirt. I know, bummer. But let’s focus on the shirts we convinced our partners to produce for this first go-around. (Yes, us supervising shirt design took us to Malaysia, burning embers onto the end of […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I call this, “Highlights of Grey and Rudy Panicking Over a Blown Win for Danks,” which is also a Jewel poem title. Chris Sale entered in the ninth, recorded no outs, gave up three hits and three runs. That, sir, is a ‘Fire Sale.’ Then Ozzie brought in Crain, who has a great leg kick. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Josh Hamilton left the game with a fracture to his humerus bone, which isn’t connected to the funny bone. He was going down the line head first into home and… Well, he’s Mr. Glass, so what do you expect? Ron Washington can’t believe anyone could ever get hurt going down a line head first. “Nothing […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The national budget isn’t the only thing that’s strained in DC, Ryan Zimmerman is headed to the DL with an ab strain. This was an injury that originally happened in Spring Training and now it looks like the ab has taken out a *pinkie to mouth* restraining order. Zimmerman always seemed like such a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Just to clear my head the other day, I threw on some bicycle shorts, jumped in my El Dorado and went for a spin. Cause that’s how guys with a ‘stache roll. If you didn’t know, know you do. Consider yourself informed. As I was rocking out to some Don Henley, I was thinking back […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Around 7 AM on Sunday morning, my smoke detector started beeping every few minutes. Hungover, I rolled out of bed. I figured the battery was low, so I removed it and went back to sleep. An hour later, it started beeping again. So I removed the smoke detector from the wall and it stopped beeping. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
After seeing Edwin Jackson pitch yesterday, I felt as happy as this guy on the inside. I ran around my block yelling “Yuuuuupppp” like Dave Hester in Storage Wars. I went to Coldstone Creamery and got a low fat sundae that had 2700 calories and I ate it (with extra jimmies)! Yesterday, Jackson’s line was […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?