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Welcome back for another star-studded event!  Assuming you hack into your favorite online dictionary and replace the definition of 'star' with "guy who lives in his mom's basement and screams when someone finishes his Doritos," and next to the definition of 'stud' you put a picture of yourself.  The Razzballies are the only award show where it's totally fine to show up in sweatpants, and for your fingers to be orange from Cheetos.  We don't judge.  We will occasionally mock.  Mock-judge, tomato-tomahto.  Get over it!  I hope you enjoyed the clip show where I inserted myself into various baseball clips from this year.  How about the clip where I was Joe Maddon intentionally walking Bryce Harper?  Hee-lar-e-US!  So, before I'm talking to no one but a room full of seat-fillers, here's the year-end awards for the best and worst of fantasy baseball:

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Wed 5/14
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK
Yesterday....yesterday....yesterday.... All my fantasy baseball titles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though one is here to stay *sung in a very fast voice* oh, crap, nope, because I drafted Matt Holliday, Oh, why did I believe in Holliday...day...day...day. Suddenly!  Jacob deGrom's arm is not half of what it used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me, Oh, it's Giancarlo's injured groin that I made of plaster of Paris and that just came to me suddenly! Why the season had to go, I don't know, it wouldn't say... because it can't talk, it's a baseball season that ended yesterday...yesterday...yesterday! Fantasy Baseball was such an easy game to play, Now I need a mother's basement to hide away. Oh, I believe in yesterday...day...day. *sniffles*  Here, take a tissue.  You have to excuse me, I don’t have any clean ones.  What will we do for the next few months without an update on a Mets’ pitcher elbow?  Does Daniel Murphy’s butt hurt or is he just butt-hurt?  What will we do without a Bryce Harper injury update?  WHAT?  WILL?  WE?  DO?  Prepare for next season, of course.  But, first, let’s bask in the last day of the season.  Today is the day when you realize you’ve spent 27,000 man hours this summer beating eleven other strangers to win a virtual trophy, and it feels great!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

papiout

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is officially the last day of school. And by school I mean me writing fantasy baseball posts in 2016. Over the next few months I'm sure Grey will take a gander at the numbers to determine if yours truly will be back in 2017. Hopefully my eight remaining followers have enough pull to see me through to the other side and get me invited back to Razzball Spring Training. But if not, it's been a good run. This post is my 94th baseball-related post. I have big incentives in my contract if I make it one hundred, so I hope that doesn't influence Grey's decision in a negative way. There are a lot of hungry points league writers out there that just might be willing do what I do for even less. Will they be as cool as I am? Doubtful. As funny? Certainly not. And lastly, will they have the maturity level of a third grader? I certainly hope so. Here's to hoping Grey just flips a two-headed coin. Before I jump the gun and start saying any official goodbyes, I think we should take a look back at 2016 and what happened in points leagues...
It's truly a somber day here at Razzball Headquarters. Today marks the final day of the baseball season, so of course that means the final DraftKings write-up as well. I'm in shambles as I pen this. I'm sitting here with an almost-empty box of tissues just staring at my screen and crying my eyes out. In years past this might signal that my PornHub Gold subscription had come to an end. But that's in the past. I'm much older now. Plus, my Mom cut my allowance in half so I don't have the funds for that type of luxury any longer. What a jerk! Whatever though. Right? I mean, we're here for baseball talk and that's exactly what Honcho intends to give you. So we've reached game 162 on the schedule and hopefully, with the help of all the fantastic writers here, you're a much better player than you were in April. Don't fret, we'll be back next season to lead you to the land of DFS riches. It kind of boils down to what Dr. Seuss and my ex-girlfriend's are famous for saying: Don't smile because it's over. Cry because it happened. Wait. What!? Anyway, Here's the deal for today. Pedro Alvarez smashes right-handers and guess what? The Yankees are sending Luis Cessa to the hill today. It's almost like the DFS Gods are teeing one up for us. Alvarez has been fairly hot over his last 7 games - reaching base at a .385 clip, blasting a home run and producing a 1.021 OPS. On the road vs RHP this season, Alvarez has racked up a .390 wOBA, 145 wRC+ and .266 ISO. Is that any good? He's also blasted 21 of his 22 home runs against righties. So there's that. Wanna know what else is cool about Alvarez today? He's priced at $3,700. That's more than decent value for a lefty battling the short porch. In fact, this is so exciting that the neighbor kids would tell me that "It's Lit!" Now GET OFF MY LAWN and go win some money! Here's a look at the rest of my picks for today's slate: New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday October 3rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.
In my never ending quest to overturn every stone, and scour every corner of fantasy prospectdom; I'll be going through all of the MiLB leagues over the next couple of weeks. Each post will touch on a handful or so, of the most interesting prospects in each circuit. For our purposes, these lists are always with a fantasy slant, because intangibles, defensive prowess, and leadership, ain't winning nobody no fantasy title. Unless you play in a league where the scoring is created by Yadier Molina. Any the who, today we go to Carolina....in my mind. Our minds? James Taylor anyone? Okay no Sweet Baby James fans eh?!?... Okay then, we go to the Carolina League, and finish off the reviews of the High-A circuits for our weekly Sunday Prospect sermon. On Wednesday we'll then begin our look at the Class A Leagues, with the exciting Midwest League. This may be the first time exciting and Midwest were used in the same sentence.  So let's get into the names of note, and the juicy prospect booty that lurks. I meant Prospect Booty the pirate way..... You don't believe me do you?
What is a finale in fantasy without a final closer report?  Nothing I tell ya.  It's like a compound without an element, or a really cool shout out to the Low End Theory.  I salute the 14 sober readers of that "not firmly planted" on the porcelain thinking throne.  So this is it my friends, the last of the last of the last.  I was debating on what to do for the last post of the year.  Something cliche, something with recycled jokes that you see all the time... wink.  Nah, I am an original, I survive millennials and the whole generation X by just being me.  Not loved by all by liked by most and yet here I still sit.  Shout out to all the readers I lead astray, and the ones I actually helped.  Not everyone gets everything right all the time, but I try.  I am human.  You would think a computer generated version of Smokey would have a cooler avatar than a bear that looks like an extra from the Fat Boys movie Disorderlies.  So to keep it chalk, I will keep it plain and simple and do what I have done for years.  Give you a final ranking of all the closers this year and a glimpse into the future of closers.  As in the who will be closing next year for every team or at the very least an estimated guess straight from my basement.  So with the final post of the year for me from a baseball perspective about to wrap, I enjoyed bringing you the jazz and the haps on the relief game again, this my eighth year at Razzball nation.
I always get a bit sentimental this time of year. The leaves start changing, green turns to vibrant orange, crisp yellow, lavish purple. The thought that I'm getting older creeps into the back of my mind and begins to fester, like a mouse gnawing on the old bones of a once sturdy home. I start thinking about the things I said I'd do and haven't done, the things I always wanted to do and never have, and the things I said I'd never be and how I became those very things...and of course, this all coincides with the end of the boys of summer, as those days of 30 teams playing baseball whittles down to the merry few that were the best on the year. Then the numbers shrink a little bit, then they shrink a little bit more, until one team is crowned the victor and they all go home to that long silence that winter brings without baseball. I tell ya, some people really dig seeing the baseball season winding down. They get into the groove of the football year and then begin their slow trudge of learning all that happened in baseball over the winter months around February. For me, I enjoy football but baseball is always tops...bae's ball if you will. And with that, I am saying good bye for the year and signing out with...wait, what? Colby Lewis?!? Am I really gonna do this? Yeah, I think so. As bad as Colby has struggled since his return from the DL, I think we get the start that tells his coaches he should be part of the starting rotation in the playoffs as the Rays have had some slumbering bats of late. Over their last 7, the Rays have a wRC+ of 80 and a K rate of 28.5%. In fact, their 14 game peer in looks eerily similar at 83 and 28.2%, respectively. Throw in the third worst K rate against righties on the year and you have a chance at fantasy glory going with Colby today. Because of recent production, I'd only look to Lewis in my tourneys today but as we know, Coors and Coors South looms so we're gonna have to do some penny pinching to get in on said action. But let's talk about that later. For now, let Sky sign off for the year with you in one final hurrah. Here's my not as gloomy taeks for this Saturday DK slate... New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday October 3rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.