I think there’s a fairly evident reason it took Edwin Encarnacion a while to sign with a team.  Doode’s a leather-bound book with dust.  In the future, will a little boy sit down to hear a tale from his grandfather and the grandfather will blow dust off a Kindle?  “In the fall of 2016, I bought this Kindle from a garage sale.  What’s a garage sale, you ask.  It’s an informal market of used products that is held outside a house by where one stores their automobile.  What’s an automobile, you ask.”  Please, Grey, leave this metaphor alone!  You’re prolly right, Random Italicized Voice.  Speaking of grandfathers, this was overheard at the Christmas table yesterday:  My grandfather, “I took Viagra and only my nipples got hard.  Don’t think I got the pill all the way down.”  Any hoo!  Edwin’s ground ball ratio went up and his fly balls went down.  He still hits the ball hard, and, if he were 27 years old, none of his red flags would even be flags, they’d be red handkerchiefs for my white suit when I’m feeling especially Scarfacey.  His Ks went up, so he’s a .260 hitter now instead of a .270 hitter?  Big whoop.  I’m having a hard time being negative on Edwin, except he will be 34 years old.  Guys do excel in their mid-30s, but not as much as they don’t.  Am I excited about Edwin after he signed with the Indians?  Not particularly, but thinking he’s going to fall off, is you talking hunches and that only works if you’re making small talk with Quasimodo.  For Edwin’s 2017 projections, I’ll give him 88/36/105/.260/2 in 535 ABs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | OAK | SEA | WSH

It’s the holiday special edition of the prospect podcast, and Halp and I are full of cheer. There’s talk of Jelly Donuts, Egg Nog, the need for a craft rum movement, and so much more. We also lay it on you heavy for your naughty behavior, with a big olde lump of coal. Genuine and from a mine! We talk three of the most wretched systems in baseball, the Miami Marlins, Kansas City Royals, and Los Angeles Angels. Each system has only a few players to offer so we packed it into one. If you’re on the fence about whether you should tune into something I’m openly deeming awful or not, three words. Stabby the Cat. She’s back, but not really. Believe me, no one can make the Angels, Royals, and Marlins more fun than Halph! I mean come on Kansas City Royals Prospects!! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Festivus, it’s the latest edition of the Razzball Baseball Prospect Podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Dancer!  On Prancer!  On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.  Welcome, reader!  Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire.  You look festive.  I love that Rudolph tongue ring.  That’s the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it’s all about commercialism.  That’s unless you light the Munenori Kawasaki. The 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away.  Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Jay Bruce.  Exciting!   In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2017 fantasy baseball season.  The biggest surprise from this list?  Marwin Gonzalez played how many games at 1st base?  Hayzeus Cristo!  I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2017 fantasy baseball drafts.  I’m a giver, snitches!  Happy Holidays!  I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of ten games or more played outside of their primary position.  Not FIVE games at a position, not six, definitely not seven. Ten games.  10, the Laurel & Hardy of numbers.  So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline).  Yes, Christmas came two days early this year.  Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position.  This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters.  Is G or H first?  Who knows, and, better yet, who cares?  Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking.  Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2017 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Phils have a game plan, and it looks a something like this:  trade and/or sign washed-out AL East starters.  Worked last year with Jeremy Hellickson, and now they’ve traded for Clay Buchholz.  This is the first trade where I can declaratively state both teams won and I don’t even know who Josh Tobias is, the infielder the Phils sent to the Red Sox.  Yes, I used declaratively.  Watch out, reading comprehension!  Looks like Tobias has some speed, but it doesn’t matter.  The Sox needed Buchholz off their team because they have a set rotation without him, and the NL East is about as good a landing place can be, even if Citizens Flank is slightly offensive-minded, and I don’t just mean the insults that rain down from the stands.  “The only time the Phils ever strung three W’s together is with their website.”  That’s a Philly fan.  “Now lean down so I can puke on you.”  That’s the same Phils fan.  Buchholz looks to be in possession of all his pitches that he had when he had a 3.30 xFIP in 2015.  Of course, those pitches couldn’t have looked more pear-shaped than last year with his 5.32 xFIP.  Honestly, I think he could be anywhere from a 3.50 ERA pitcher to a 4.50 ERA one.  Is he a mixed league starter?  Maybe as a streamer, or if he starts off well, but not out of the gate, as they say in horse racing.  For NL-Only, I’m going to like him as a late-round flyer.  For 2017, I’ll give him the projections of 8-10/4.07/1.31/117 in 145 IP.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in the offseason for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You may want to plan on a second poop if you’re going to read this entire post. Let that be my warning to you, before we begin my latest adventure in verbose prospecting. Today we tackle arguably the best system, certainly one of the deepest systems, in all of baseball. For today we discuss the Top Los Angeles Dodgers Prospects!!! You may say to yourself, “Hey self”, (then punch yourself in the face for saying self) where have I recently seen…or HEARD (big clue) someone talk about the Top Los Angeles Dodgers Prospects before? Hmmmm, maybe on the Razzball Prospect Podcast last week. You would in fact be correct, we even had a guest no-show us with a mysterious aliment. Last time I trust Michael Lohan. Either way, we talked about it once, and I’ll write about it now. The Dodgers have become a player development machine. They draft well (Kershaw, Pederson, Seager), they win the international market (Urias, Puig, Maeda), and most of all they develop players. They spend the most of any team on scouting and it shows. In the last few years they’ve nailed picks all over the draft, including picks in the 20+ rounds with players like Jose De Leon, and Jharel Cotton. This is a well oiled and functioning farm system, with players of interest and excitement across every level for dynasty owners. Sometimes when I’m writing these I know I’m highlighting several future fantasy relevant. This is one of those times. It’s the Top Doyers prospects.

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Sure, you can consider Devon Travis injury prone.  You can also consider Rob Kardashian the hot Kardashian.  This is no sweat off me.  Labeling any player under 27 years old injury prone is a mistake, which is different than Ruth Chris, she’s Ms. Steak.  I’ve been guilty of labeling players injury prone in the past.  For years, I called Ian Kinsler injury prone because up until the age of 26 he missed around forty games a year for three straight seasons.  Now, Kinsler has three straight seasons of 150+ games and in five of the past six seasons.  I did the same thing to Nelson Cruz.  In his first few seasons, he averaged about 108 games a season.  He now has three straight years of 152+ games.  I also think Nelson Cruz was only injury prone when he was Nelson Cruz Jr.  No idea if the weight of his pops’ shadow played into this.  Not all players are injury prone across their entire careers like Glass Chipper.  Devon Travis had one major injury in 2015, a shoulder injury.  He returned from that injury and hit for power and average (11 HRs, .300 in 101 games).  He’s had the usual nicks and bruises here and there, he’s even dealing with a knee thing right now which should be fine by February, but one injury does not make an injury-prone player.  I guess you can consider him injury prone, but if you believe his shoulder is all good to go now, there’s no injury, there’s just prone, and I’m prone to like that.   There’s no reason to think Travis won’t play 150+ games this year.  In 163 major league games across two seasons, Devon Travis has a stat line of 92/19/85/.301/7.   Now, we’re talking my language.  So, what can we expect from Devon Travis for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Technically, Charlie Tilson could’ve been listed in my fantasy baseball rookie series, and Tom Murphy could’ve been listed in the fantasy baseball sleeper series, and Jason Heyward could’ve been listed in the “I will never draft him again” series if there was a “I’m never going to draft him again” series, but here we are.  When I first heard of Charlie Tilson, I thought it was a mispronounced dinner reservation for the former Dallas actress.  “Is there a Charlie Tilson here?  Your table is ready.”  “It’s Charlene Tilton.”  “And this is P.F. Chang’s, so you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t care.”  Damn, P.F. Chang’s needs to watch their customer service!  By the by, P.F. Chang’s might be the only restaurant where I look more forward to the free sauce they mix at the table than their actual food you pay for.  Me going there is like someone going to Burger King for their ketchup.  Okay, Charlie Tilson, or as you like to call him, “Who the fudge is Charlie Tilson?”  He’s the guy that stole 46 bases in Double-A in 2015 and was traded to the White Sox for Zach Duke.  He’s also penciled in as the White Sox starting center fielder.  Oh, and if you haven’t heard, the White Sox have already punted 2017.  So, what can we expect from Charlie Tilson for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In what figures to be the shortest minor league system review of the offseason, today we tackle the Angels system. It’s not so much that the Halos have no prospects as it’s the Angels have bad prospects. It’s almost as if they used every ounce of player development ability to churn out the greatest player of a generation, and then followed it up with nothing. Well maybe nothing is unfair, but it’s been almost half a decade since the likes of Trout, Kole Calhoun, and Garrett Richards broke through to the bigs. The addiction to bad free agent contacts has left a once proud organization decimated. The money spent on Josh Hamilton, CJ Wilson, and Albert Pujols hasn’t paid off the way they expected, and the years of lost draft picks has left the system bare. For the first time in a few years the Angels have a handful of interesting prospects, and the organization seems more focused on player development under former Yankees executive Billy Eppler. There’s only a handful of interesting players to discuss here, and a couple who could develop into impact fantasy bats. It’s the Top Los Angeles Angels Prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Halph is back and we brought our show mascot Stabby the Cat! Don’t ask for an explanation just listen. This week on the Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast Michael Halpern of Imaginarybrickwall.com and I dig into the Los Angeles Dodgers Prospects. It’s a very solid system with players like Jose De Leon, Cody Bellinger, Willie Calhoun, Yadier Alvarez, and a whole lot more. We were supposed to have Razzball locale yocal J-FOH, but he’s a coastal elite and decided to bail on us. So we were left to our own devices trying to sound out hispanic surnames. This did not go well. We still found time to review about two dozen players that should be on your dynasty radar. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Any reasonable man (which, technically, I am not, alas…) would tell you Jake Lamb is not a 2017 sleeper.  Last year, he had a line of 81/29/91/.249/6.  That alone should mean he isn’t a sleeper.  On our Player Rater, he was a top 15 3rd baseman last year.  I’ve seen him drafted after 200 overall already, so some have forgotten about him.  I’m not pointing any fingers, which is difficult because I’m wearing a giant, pointing Hulk Hogan foam finger.  Perhaps Lamb was too closely associated with Passover and, hence, ignored.  I think this is religious mores or less inaccurate.  If you think it has something to do with Lamb’s 2nd half, you’re getting shawarmer.  But his 1st half had us screaming, “Shanks, Lamb!  You’re my gyro!”   When the summer hit, Lamb was baaaahd in August and September, but wasn’t he mint in the sprig?  So mint, he was making others jelly.  All right, I’m gonna eat lunch and come back for the 2nd paragraph.  So, what can we expect from Jake Lamb for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Razzball Baseball Pod is back!  Returning from our winter doldrums, we’re ready to talk trades and signings thus far in the hot stove.  Still some big pieces still left to fall!  It’s great to be back with Grey who is continually turning more and more into the crazy Jersey grandpa he is, and on today’s show we recap the Chris Sale and Adam Eaton trades, Ian Desmond going to Coors, and like, 30 or 40 other trades and signings.  Gotta be sure to derail this to get to all my Brewers talk!  We’re going to pick up the Pods again in January, so have a happy new year, shop around for some winter trading in your dynasties, and get ready for more Grey-crazy in 2017!

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I’m not going to lie, it took me a while to get into the mood to write this post. As fun as a system like the Astros or the Braves is to write up, is as painful as a system like the Royals is to do the same. Then it hit me, the Royals system is your hometown bar. You know the dingy one with a name like Home Plate, Donovan’s, or The Old Mill. Not because you need to be drunk in order to even go in there, though alcohol certainly helped write this. It’s because you’ve been avoiding it like the plague every time you venture home. But one night in a moment of weakness one of your old high school buddies talks you into going. So you get over your irrational fear of seeing the girl that dumped you for the guy that only got his name right on his SAT’s, and that once popular jock that’s gained 60 pounds of Burger King breakfast, and has gone from filling up stat sheets in his glory days, to filling up sweatpants and rap sheets with petty misdemeanors. In other words, everyone in the Royals system is 25 and watching their once promising futures vanish with each passing Jager-bomb. That’s not a joke, this has to be the oldest group of hobos I’ve ever covered. I hesitate to say I’m talking about Kansas City Royals Prospects as much as I’m talking about washed up Kansas City Royals Prospects. Amirite?

Please, blog, may I have some more?