Roto-Wan is back monkey chuckers, and on less sleep than ever! I actually threw up last night out of sheer exhaustion after feeding the little-wan. I did not know that was possible. Thank to B_Don for being an adequate at best fill in for me. Yesterday was the trade deadline and bullpens were heavily reworked for many contenders. Tiers are of course baby themed. Time for some notes!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’ve reached the All Star break. That’s a little more than halfway through the fantasy baseball year. Since there was no real baseball yet this week, we’re going with a Closer Report/SAGNOF mash up. Bullets are freestyle and rankings are below. Tiers are HR Derby themed with some of my favorite moments in Derby history…

  • The All-Star break also serves as a time for teams to take stock of where they stand and consider whether the should be trade deadline buyers or sellers. The interest in Will Smith is heating up. That means there’s a stash opportunity. Pick your favorite between Sam Dyson, Mark Melancon, or Reyes Moronta. There’s something in my gut telling me Moronta might be the guy long term.
  • Greg Holland and Craig Kimbrel both gave their owners a bit of solace going into the break with a save each just prior. Holland is the shakier own with the Diamondbacks minimally invested in him. Let’s see what a few days off do for two aging arms.
  • Grey told you to roster Liam Hendricks. I told you not to drop him. Hope you listened because, surprise, rushing Treinen back was probably a mistake and it’s showing. Treinen may never be a guy cut out for the solo closer mantle. He’s likely an elite fireman with multi-inning capability.
  • The top of the stolen base leaderboard isn’t particularly surprising with Adalberto Mondesi and Mallex Smith at the top. It gets interesting from there. Christian Yelich is third, Elvis Andrus is fourth, and Jose Ramirez is fifth. They’re likely matchup based with pockets of steals coming in the first half. It’s an interesting top 5 nonetheless.
  • Right behind them in sixth is Kevin Kiermaier. If you’re after steals, check the wire for him. He’s been a popular add but could be there. KK gives you some of everything.
  • Joey Wendle, another Ray, is right behind him. Wendle’s had about the worst injury luck you can have. He’s back now and sporting a solid .257/.341/.371 with 3 steals in the last two weeks. His playing time has some risk with Brandon Lowe’s return. Wendle can play all over the diamond, though.
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re unfamiliar with the New Orleans tradition of King Cake I’ll fill you in. It’s made in January to commemorate the arrival of the Three Wisemen, sports the official colors of Mardi Gras, and often has a plastic baby on it. It doesn’t always seem like the most appetizing dessert. Looks can be deceiving, though! It’s actually quite good. Just like second-year super utility stud Scott Kingery…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s not easy making a reliever as an MLB closer these days. The ball is juiced and more hitters than ever have figured out that swinging for the fences pays off even with some extra strikeouts. Those factors equal plenty of blown saves these days. The pitching landscape is changing. You need to take more cracks at saves than ever, even if you strike out, too.

The album Electric Ladyland by the Jimi Hendrix Experience gave us two of the all-time great guitar riffs. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) was decades ahead of its time in 1968. All Along The Watchtower may be a Bob Dylan cover but Jimi owns that song now. It’s opening lyrics are fitting for this column, “There must be some kind of way outta here, said the joker to the thief. There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.” Are you rostering a joker or a thief with your spec add? It’s certainly confusing and there’s little relief in sight. Nevertheless, we press on.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Much like an actual brasier, that’s used to store live coals, relievers get hot at certain times of the season. Perhaps we’re about to embark on just such a hot streak for some guys. Maybe one is actually named Brasier. Let’s take a look at the bullpen news of the week:

  • A fresh Ryan Brasier looked sharp earning a save in his return from the bereavement list. Could this be a sign of things to come? The Red Sox would love it if he could do the job they ticketed him for this season.
  • The Reds desire to use Rasiel Iglesias in other innings has popped back up. David Bell called on Iglesias in the eighth two straight days, giving Michael Lorenzon back to back saves. You haven’t been thrilled with the production from Iglesias this season so here’s some poop icing on your crap cake.
  • Ken Giles doesn’t expect to miss more than the minimum ten days on the IL. It is elbow soreness, however. More often than not that doesn’t just go away and is indicative of worse things to come. I’d hold the backups in Daniel Hudson or Joe Biagini if your spent FAAB on them. For a week or so, just in case.
  • Craig Kimbrel is making rehab appearances in Iowa. He’ll be in Chicago sooner than later it seems should all go smoothly.
  • Wade Davis has had an eventful return from the IL. He blew a save early in the week and had a bumpy conversion Wednesday night with a solo homer and base runner stranded on second. We’ve been through this with him before. Part of owning Davis is taking some midseason lumps. I’m holding Scott Oberg in the event another IL stint is needed.
  • Roberto Osuna blew a save Wednesday, as well. He’s not unaccustomed to the occasional hiccup. This isn’t a thing unless more blow-ups happen close together.
  • Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s June, in case you don’t own a calendar or Mayan solar stone. Fantasy owners can no longer afford to hold their breath in any given category. Now is the time to take your shots on middle relievers and hope they earn you a save or two. It’s nice if they can give you strikeouts or stellar ratios in the meantime. Check your wire for the names below.

Please, blog, may I have some more?