Italian Marlin In Buycar Named Desire

April 4, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 709 Comments

See Nate Eovaldi throw 99 MPH! Stop. In a part! Stop. Never before seen! Stop. As he takes on the role! Stop. Of Stanley Fastballski! Stop. He's got a method fastball! Stop. Adapted from the book! Stop. You Shall Know My Eovelocity! Stop. If you want to park in the underground garage! Stop. No, seriously, stop! Stop. We don't Eovalidate that garage! I loved what I saw the other day from Eovaldi. As Alicia Keys says, he throws fiiiiiiiiiiire! Fiiiiiiiiiire! Fiiiiiiiiiiire! He averaged over 96 MPH in his first start. That's really good. That would've been the best fastball velocity for any starter for all of last year. Better than Matt Harvey. I don't think he can maintain 96, but even if it falls to 94 on average, which it has been his entire career, he's still in the top 1% of all starters. Only seven guys threw that fast last year. The list is a who's who of guys you want on your team -- Strasburg, Jose Fernandez, Samardzija, Homer Bailey, Cashner and the aforementioned Harvey. For his velocity alone, you should pick up Eovaldi in every league. Wins will be hard to come by, but a 3.50 ERA and a 7+ K-rate won't be. Anyway, here's some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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See all of today’s starting lineups

#	MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 5/19
	ARI \| ATH \| BAL \| BOS \| CHC \| CHW \| CIN \| CLE \| COL \| DET \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIA \| MIL \| MIN \| NYM \| PHI \| PIT \| SEA \| SF \| STL \| TB \| ATL \| NYY \| OAK \| SD \| TEX \| TOR \| WSH

Points Leagues: Blowing Smoak in Seattle

April 4, 2014 | Points Leagues | 5 Comments

by: Josh O.

Of all the teams to predict to sweep their first series, who would have guessed the Mariners as one of those clubs? Well, aside from our resident Mariners fans --Tehol and Sky, and Grey, who put some serious coin on them to win the World Series. Who's the crazy one now? Ha! I know the M's weren't supposed to be that bad this year, so its not all that surprising. It's more surprising where some of the production is actually coming from. We expected it from [player]Robinson Cano[/player] and Felix, and shoot, we even expected some from Miller, Erasmo, and Paxton. But Smoak? Ackley? I sure didn't. Seems like anyone could put on a Mariners uniform and mash right now. MLB should probably take a further look into what's going on behind the scenes up there. Maybe they've hired Grey as a trainer, a la Barry Bonds, to inject their guys with the special sauce. But wait, clearly that doesn't work for everyone, *cough* [player]Jesus Montero[/player] *cough*... Or maybe Tehol has actually sacrificed himself to the gods to make such things come true! Who really knows? And with it being such a small sample size (a measly three games), there isn't much we can draw from any of the numbers, relative to long-term production. But some guys have really started off hot and may be playing themselves into a hot schmotato for the next week or two or three or, well you get the point. Some guys, quite frankly, have not. Let's take a look at who's catchin' my eye in points leagues in the VERY early going.

DraftKings – Danny Salivate…I mean Salazar

April 4, 2014 | DraftKings | 67 Comments

by: Sky

Seriously, I'm drooling over here. Maybe it's the medication. Nurse Ratched, bring me my drooling bib! Sorry, got locked up in the looney bin after how this week has started for me both in Draftkings and in my regular leagues. How does a team have .252 OBP and .272 SLG% over four days when it has over 10 guys who hit 20 or more HRs apiece just a season ago? I'd say bygones but I've been scrawling this on the walls here in the institution for the last few days in my own excrement cuz I just can't figure it out. Nurse Ratched, please don't forget to set my lineups for today! You know I can't do it with this weird backwards jacket you have on me! I'm not Kris Kross! Though it is quite stylish...yes, where was I? Ok, today's slate. We have the Minnesota Twins playing somebody, who is it? Ah yes, the Twinkies are in Cleveland and [player]Danny Salazar[/player] gets to make his season debut. DK loves Ks and Twins look to be a good punching bag for both regular fantasy streams and Daily Fantasy ones so today's matchup looks downright gorgeous. What say you Stream-O-Nator? Well, you didn't have to shout it...and there's no need for calling names, especially those ones. Given that he's at the low price of $8,800, you'll have plenty of room for another arm and can comb over what the Hitter-Tron has to say on some top bats and not worry about not having enough bank to do it. Oh and are you looking for some kind of tourney to play Salivate Salazar in today? Well why not the big Razzball Draftkings Contest the guys over at DK put together for us. Yes us! Don't you feel special being recognized like that? I'm sure they would've named it after just you if they knew your name. They're cool like that. But nevertheless, less chat and more choices. Here's some Razzball picks for Draftkings lineups on 4/4/2014 for 2014 Fantasy Baseball...

Crazy Patience Pays With Frazier, Cheers!

April 4, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 505 Comments

by: Grey

It's nice when your chickens come home to roost. Sure, chickens coming home to roost is usually used to indicate a negative, but whoever heard of roosted chickens not being delicious. Lemon pepper, rosemary and roosted chickens is my favorite menu item and this Chinese restaurant has the best #3 in town. So, now, chickens coming home to roost is a positive and so is [player]Todd Frazier[/player] with two jacks yesterday like Nicholson in Mars Attacks!. Frazier has long been a favorite of mine -- we were younger then, and you had more hair. I hit you with a sleeper post for him in 2013 and again this offseason. There I said, "(Frazier) dropped his K-rate from 22.2% in 2012 to 20.8% last year. This was counteracted by a falling line drive rate (22.4% to 18.1%). Make weak contact and balls get caught and your BABIP falls. His fly ball rate fell too. When a fly ball rate falls in a hitters’ park, your power numbers appear less than desirable. Cause and effin’ effect or effin’ affect or affin’ effect or affin’ affect. BTW, what’s a humpageddon? A pornmanteau. Take it, it’s yours. The good news is when Frazier did hit a home run, he hit them a long way (average distance was 403 feet). He was right there at the top of the league for guys who averaged the longest distance per home run. When he hit six homers (this past) September in only 88 ABs, it showed the player he can be every month." And that's me quoting me! Still, love Frazier, unlike a lot of you since he's only owned in 50% of leagues. I'd absolutely grab him if he were available in my league. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Bullpen Report

April 3, 2014 | Closers, Middle Relievers | 128 Comments

by: Smokey

Holy hell, what just happened? This week was supposed to be about all the pomp and circumstance of opening day. Then a closenado happened, a whirlwind of job loss and fake unemployment questions. I mean, before two games ended, two closers were replaced. That's just silly stupid, like buying a pack of crayons without the built in sharpener. Useless. Roenicke and Ventura, I am putting a sfortuna and a pox on both your households. Moves like this usually lead to managerial unemployment, so maybe we aren't so bad off, as both look well fixated on the Kohl's managerial program. To make things worse, Bobby P fell down and 'Papa Grande' came tumbling after.

Sandberg Disgraces Himself by Benching Domonic Brown

April 3, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 133 Comments

by: LT Murray IV

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left Cause I've been toutin and praisin Domonic so long, That even Grey and Jay(Wrong) think that my mind is gone But I ain't never praised a man that didn't deserve it "Sir" Dom or Beddict treated like a punk? you know that's unheard of You better watch how you manage and how you baller block. Or you and your staff gonna be given your papers to walk I really hate to trip but I gotta loc As Mayberry chokes, I see myself in the Payote smoke, fool I'm the kinda writer/model the little homies wanna be like On my knees sacrificing goats every night saying prayers to the Elder Gods in the streetlight Been Speeeeending most my life, livin' in the Models/strippers/writers Paradise!

Draftkings – Don’t Make A Hughes Mistake

April 3, 2014 | DraftKings | 31 Comments

by: Sky

So far I've spent my opening paragraph telling you who to pick up and roll with. It's been a mixed bag to say the least and by that I mean rose petals with kitty litter clumpings in with it. King Felix did fine on Monday. Thankfully none of you had to experience the Klub upside the head on Tuesday. And right now it's only the second inning on Tyson Ross and it's not exactly going great...but hey listen to me I know what I'm talking about! So my lead in isn't to warn you off of starting [player]Phil Hughes[/player] today. That's a gimme and as much as I need a cheap win, I'm not taking it. Nah, I'm taking this moment to tell you to load up on power hitters in Chi-Town. Though I'll like Hughes in his home starts here and there in the future, I'm telling you to get some Chicago bop into your lineup as Hughes had a 46.5 FB% last year. If he had pitched all year, that would've been second best. Or is that second worst? Yeah, second worst. Don't believe me? Even the Hitter-Tron is telling ya to buy in as [player]Jose Abreu[/player] is the top spot on his dirty little list and is an easy pickup at $3,800. And [player]Adam Dunn[/player] is 4th if you wanna get a little cheaper at $3,700. Sadly, you can't get both into your lineup. No DH Draftkings? What is this, the senior circuit of Daily Fantasy Sports? And just for fun, I decided to peek in and see what the $3,700 priced Hughes looked like on the Stream-O-Nator...yup, he sucks. A ChiSox stack is definitely in play. Ok, now that we've established all that, let's move on...to another link! Don't forget about our Razzball Draftkings Contest this Friday. Go reserve a spot. It's a VIP thing (not really). And there will be free drinks in the lobby (it's really BYOB). Ok now on with the show. Here's our picks for 4/3/2014 contests for Draftkings 2014 Fantasy Baseball...

Cheap Closer Rental At Red Brox

April 3, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 680 Comments

by: Grey

The Reds manager Bryan Price, who I thought was their catcher, has a long way to go to catch up to ex-manager, Dusty Baker, on the Crazy-Meter, but naming [player]Jonathan Broxton[/player] the closer a week before he's even healthy, is a great start. Now Price needs to throw Latos 147 pitches in his first game back and he'll be running a dead heat. Apparently, Broxton can't only fill pants, he can fill shoes too. Dumpster Pants isn't safe by any means, but when a crazy-as-a-fox manager names someone the closer, and he could be the closer for the next two months, I'd pick him up. Not literally, no one can pick up Broxton literally. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Bear or Bull: For What It’s Werth

April 2, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 43 Comments

by: Jeremy

My last post was about a young ace, so I’m following it up with an article on an old vase, [player]Jayson Werth[/player]. Just under two months shy of his 35th birthday, the bearded wonder is entering his 13th season in the bigs. I find it difficult to predict Werth, as his production doesn’t abide by the “normal rules” of aging. The pre-2009 Werth was deplorable when compared to the post-2009 version, or Werth 2.0, as I lovingly call him.

Prospect Power Rankings — Week 1

April 2, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 115 Comments

by: Scott Evans

For those of you who don't remember, here's the gist (and we'll keep this blurb here all season so as not to confuse any newcomers): Ranking prospects for fantasy purposes is a tricky exercise. Back in February, I rolled out my Top 50 Fantasy Prospects for 2014 (part 1, part 2), and those are already garbage. The variables involved are constantly in flux -- talent emerges, talent regresses... opportunity comes, opportunity goes... clubs get cold feet because of service time, clubs don't give a shizz about service time. So, given the fluid nature of this prospect business, we're going to keep a running ranking throughout the season. This post will run every Wednesday, providing a weekly glimpse of the soon-to-arrive impact talent. It's our first PPR list of the year (don't get confused, football meatheads), and I'm too excited to chat, so let's get right to it:

Draftkings – Ross Pitch For Less

April 2, 2014 | DraftKings | 41 Comments

by: Sky

So apparently as of this writing, Draftkings just doesn't want us to have a full day of games. I went to check and see if I could build a lineup with [player]Max Scherzer[/player], but then I'm stuck with only three or four games to choose from. But when I pick the bigger slate, we're stuck with good but not the best options on this fine baseball day. What's a player to do? Well, adjust sucka! Sorry, that was out of line. I try and avoid short slates as it leads too weird lineups winning out, especially in big GPP leagues. So I'm gonna take my 11 games and stay sad I can't get in on Mad Max while I do it. Tears...oh well, there are still some good things to find. And one play that I've been trumpeting since I wrote a Fantasy Sleeper post on him would be [player]Tyson Ross[/player]. Said Ross has a few things going for him. One, he's pitching in a pitcher friendly park. Deux, he finished 2013 looking downright sexy. Thricely, the Dodgers and Padres have combined to score nine runs in two games. That's runs total for both teams if you're having a hard time picking up what I'm putting down. So while I can't promise you a win, the runs should stay low and hopefully the K's get high and for the fun low price of $7,400, you don't have to break the bank to get in on it and go buy Scherzer! Damn, forgot...Y U NO ALL GAMES, DK?!? Oh well, just like you can't hug every cat, you can't get all the games you want on DK sometimes. C'est la Daily Fantasy Baseball I guess. Speaking of full slates, don't forget to reserve your spot for the Razzball Draftkings Contest this Friday. Now I WOULD put a 50/50 here for everyone to hop in on but yesterday...well let's just say that Razzball Nation let me down. It's no biggie, clearly you don't need me anymore. You're all grown up...fly away, lesbian seagulls *sniffs*. Wow, that got emotional. Let's not do that again. Instead, let's get to picks for 4/2/2014 for Draftkings Daily Fantasy Baseball...

Subpar Valverde Parnell’s Sub

April 2, 2014 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 642 Comments

by: Grey

The worst name for a Mexican restaurant is also now the Mets closer. No, not [player]Jose Valverde[/player], but his nickname: Poopie Grande. At Poopie Grande, the meal is solid, but the check comes and immediately the runs. You take off to the bathroom, shouting for your loved one to just pay the bill, then, when you return, you realize you were charged for five earned runs in a third of an inning. Poopie Grande, where you get heartburn and anal seizures simultaneously. So, [player]Bobby Parnell[/player] has a partial tear of his right elbow, which is code for 'he ain't returning any time soon.' Seriously, how is it possible that the closepocalypse lay dormant for the entire spring then slams the coast without warning? I'd lose Parnell if I didn't have DL room and would grab Valverde everywhere and disinfectant. Your team could need it. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: