Happy Hump Day, my Razzballin’ degenerates. I just did that in my best commercial camel voice and GEICO owes me 27 cents. It’s back to the grind and by grind I mean making green on DraftKings. Unfortunately, for your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru, I’ve hit a bit of a cold streak. I believe it was the Greek philosopher Heraclitus that said, “Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, Know when to run.” However, I’m not foldin’ and I’m not running. Tonight I sacrifice my Steve Balboni bobblehead to the fantasy gods in hopes the cold streak runs hot. I’m almost at my goal of a winter of fun in the sun, umbrella drinks, thong watching and a likely call to the Cancun bail bondsman.
We have 13 games on the evening slate tonight at DraftKings with a few aces on the mound and teams to stack in Colorado, Baltimore and Detroit (stay away rain and random drive-by shootings). I’ll be digging deep into the research and convening with my good friends DFSBot, Stream-O-Nator, HitterTron and Islay scotch to find the best matchups to grow the bankroll. If you haven’t given Draftkings a shot yet, today’s the day you get in the game. Just hit the Razzball promo link to get a first time deposit match and come play with the Razzball gang in a 50/50 contest.
Here are some of my top picks and value plays for Wednesday, June 11.
Hey Big Spender
Yu Darvish, SP: $12,200 – Masahiro Tanaka is the priciest play on the board tonight, but I’m leaning towards his fellow countryman Darvish (they’re from Madagascar, right?). Yu is everything you want from a big money arm – great ratios (2.36 ERA, 1.14 WHIP), goes deep into games (at least 7 IP in his last five starts) and high strikeouts (10.73 K/9). He also gets the Marlins who are second in the league in punchouts.
Miguel Cabrera, 1B/3B: $5,700 – The Tigers rainout blew up my rosters and left downtown Detroit smelling like the inside of a carney’s trailer. That left me scrambling for a new stack last night and I went with Toronto instead. That didn’t work and I hold all of Canada responsible. My impending international incident aside, Miggy hasn’t been slowed down by a tight hamstring and is 8/14 in his last four games.
Troy Tulowitzki, SS: $5,700 – Tulo is a risky play versus Julio Teheran who shut the Rockies out three weeks ago. However, this is the mighty Tulo at home where he’s hitting nearly .500 with a .550 OBP.
Ian Kinsler, 2B: $4,800 – I love to play Kinsler versus lefties. Guess what he gets tonight? An ambidextrous cross-dressing dwarf? Not funny, disembodied voice that sounds like my ex-girlfriend Brenda. Kinsler gets the southpaw John Danks who he has crushed lefties – 13/34, three doubles, four homers and a .417 OBP.
Evan Gattis, C/OF: $4,400 – Gattis was enjoying the mile high air last night with three hits, four runs, a homer and two RBI. Do that again. El Oso Blanco has an 11-game hitting streak including four multi-hit games and a .500 OBP against lefties. I’m playing him everywhere tonight including my fantasy cricket team.
Shopping at the Dollar Store
Hyun-jin Ryu, SP: $7,900 – Last time Ryu faced he Reds he went 7.1 IP, gave up three hits, three runs and struck out seven. Give me something close to that tonight and I’ll name my first child Hyun-jin Guru.
Chris Davis, 1B: $4,300 – Plenty of first baseman in play tonight and they’re costly. This seems a bit cheap for Davis at home against a rookie pitcher. Sure he’s been a bit of a bummer hitting just .234, but the double and triple dong potential are there.
Corey Dickerson, OF: $4,000 – Am I crazy to think the Rockies could rock Teheran at Coors? No. I’m criminally insane. Dickerson is hitting .348 with a 1.061 OPS – now that’s crazy!
Chris Johnson, 3B: $3,600 – CJ has six hits in two games at Coors and we are picking on Franklin Morales tonight. This is a great value play for a guy that has a .900+ OPS against left-handers. Maybe Morales will try and throw right-handed tonight.
Tommy La Stella, 2B: $3,400 – La Stella is hitting .364 with a .417 OBP since being called up. This is where I do my Streetcar Names Desire impression right? “I don’t want realism. I want magic!” Bet ya thought I was going to yell, “SSSTTEELLLAAA!!!”
Eugenio Saurez, SS: $2,600 – Now we are talking value. Saurez is batting .364 with a .909 slugging percentage and a 1.326 OPS and half his hits have been home runs this year. But, Guru, he’s only played four games. Shut up, Brenda!
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
According to Razzball meteorologist Golden Sprinkles, we have a chance of showers for BOS/BAL, CHC/PIT and LAD/CIN.
Doing Lines in Vegas
The high scoring game of the night will be ATL/COL. The sharks in Vegas have the over/under at 10. I say it goes over.
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