Paul Konerko went 5-for-5 yesterday with his 31st homer.  Paul Konerko is also winning your league for you.  You had your back up against the wall.  You took Hanley in the first round, Halladay in the 2nd and then you hit the 20th round and you were like, “Hmm… I totally screwed myself by not taking a 1st baseman.  Do I take that guy on the Marlins with a girl’s name or should I take Konerko?”  When you took Konerko, you figured you would need to trade for someone.  Whoa, what’s this?  Konerko’s hitting?  “Hey, baby, you’re eating dinner by yourself tonight.  Paul Konerko due up sixth this inning, according to Fantasycast.  Now please don’t come into my man cave.”  When you go to the White Sox Fantasy Camp in seven years, you can tell him how he won your league for you while ruining your marriage.  These late round fliers in drafts are always so maddening.  If I would’ve just took Konerko instead of Stupid-Face Headley.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  His season ERA is down to 3.87 and 12 wins is pretty good, but that’s now 8 Ks in 28 IP for August.  Is there a less aptly-surnamed player in the game?  Seems like Mark Crafty or Mark Wiley would be better names.

Alexei Ramirez – 3-for-5 with his 14th homer.  Has hit in all but 2 of his last 25 games.  Was a bit wonky last year, but this year’s been a solid bounce back, outside of April, of course.

Pedro Feliz – Traded to the Cards for Carpenter.  Holy effin– It’s David Carpenter, Grey. Ah, thanks, random italicized voice, how can I ever repay you?  Pay it forward. Now Feliz and La Russa can start an afterhours club, The Happy Drunk.  Women and squirrels get in for free.  I wouldn’t pick up Feliz with your team.

Nyjer Morgan – 2-for-5 with his 30th steal as he returned from the DL.  He should be owned in every league or, I should say, I wish I were in a league where he was available.   I also wish I had a Ferrari with a graham cracker steering wheel that I could nibble on at red lights, so we obviously can’t get everything we want.

Brian Matusz – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Has had 3 solid starts in his last four, but the non-solid (loose? runny?) start was a mess.  I’d tread carefully.

Alex Sanabia – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.  His Ks to walks aren’t bad, but he gave up 7 earned in 2 innings vs. the Giants in his last game.  I’d let someone else take on the risk.

Gaby Sanchez – 1-for-4 with his 13th homer.  Yo Gaby Gaby!  Yeah, he’s been yawnstipating all year.  You think you’re drafting a late round sleeper with upside and you get Lyle Overbay.

Asdrubal Cabrera – 2-for-4 and hitting .500 over the last week.  Who knew?  I did, and now you should too.

Michael Brantley – Twisted his ankle and left the game, but x-rays were negative.  He’s day-to-day.  C’mon, man, the Indians’ pennant hopes are riding on you!

Ronny Cedeno – Out for a week with shoulder discomfort, but doesn’t expect to go to the DL.  He’s still contemplating going to New Hampshire disguised as Johnny Cakes.

Jerry Blevins – The Beav picked up his first career save.  Don’t get excited, Wuertz needed a day off and Bailey is on the way back.  Maybe it’s because his first name is Jerry, but I read his name and hear Jerry Lewis’s voice (Hey there nice lady…Blevins!)

Carlos Zambrano – 6 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K.  Big Z’s recent string of starts look good on the surface, but he’s walked 12 guys to 9 Ks.  Belch.

Vicente Padilla – To the DL with a bulging disk in his neck.  He has an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Frankenstein.

Ted Lilly – 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks.  Let’s see….Lilly was bad in the NL Central this year and amazing for the Dodgers.  Randy Wolf was amazing last year for the Dodgers and has been awful in the NL Central.  I think we know where Aaron Harang will be pitching next year.

Dustin Pedroia – Missed yesterday’s game with a sore foot because he keeps chewing through his cone.

Travis Wood – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Another great start for the Reds rookie.  The Reds front office figured out the secret to keeping Dusty from killing all the young arms – develop so many of them that he isn’t able to focus on one.  Like Ronnie in a flock of South Beach grenades.

Ramon Hernandez – 2-for-5 with a homer.  His playing time has been all over the map, but he’s hitting .333 in the last week and near that for the month.

Bud Norris – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  I have much love for the 112 Ks in 106 2/3 IP.  I wanna like Bud Norris so much, and I can see really liking him going into 2011, but his 1.43 WHIP is a little scary.  Would definitely give him a whirl in H2H leagues under the right circumstances.

Brandon Lyon – If there was any doubt, Lyon got the save yesterday.  He’s your closer, kids (and non-kids).

J.J. Putz – Out with inflammation in his knee.  Putz… Inflammation… Shiver.  Saves will go to Jenks, who pitched for the first time in a week yesterday, or Thornton, probably in that order, but there’s no guarantees with Ozzie.

Josh Beckett – 6 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  There’s not enough time left to be waiting for Beckett.  I’d lose him in most redraft leagues and just play matchups with that spot.

Will Rhymes – 2-for-4, should see fairly regular time and has lots of speed.  Not worth a look outside of AL-Only leagues, but there ya go, ho.  Whoa!  Rhymes.

Jonathan Sanchez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Sonavabench!

Pablo Sandoval – 1-for-4 with his third homer in the last week.  Now has 9 homers on the year, or 4 1/2 homers per moob.  Not a great Moob to Home Run ratio (M:HR).

Austin Kearns – 2-for-4 with 2 RBIs.  I’d say he’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but that’s a lie.  He won’t be.  He’s here.  Now.  Batting over .400 in the last week and is in a great place for RBIs.  I could see him being benched if A-Rod needs time at DH, but if you have room to juggle some bench bats, I’d grab Kearns.

Phil Hughes – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks and his 15th win.  If I had a tenderoni that had anywhere near that many wins, I think I’d love him for the rest of my life.

Lance Berkman – If you don’t have DL room, you don’t hold Berkman.  The days of shooting up are gone and 34-years-old is old. <– sounds like Belle & Sebastian lyrics.

  1. Mr2Bits says:

    Grey/All : Ian Kennedy or Jake Westbrook for a stream start today?

  2. cain fan says:

    grey – drop podsednik for morgan??

  3. Howard says:

    Thanks Grey! A real coffee-up-the-nose read this morning. Glad I dropped Beckett last night and picked up Kearns! Paulie has been carrying me to a playoff bye hopefully and I’ll follow the stream thread for Beckett’s spot. Why couldn’t he be more like Sparky Anklebiter??

  4. HotCorner says:

    Thanks for reminding me that I had Nerko and let him go early in the season…dammit man! And I turned 30 today…it just keeps getting better.

  5. JT says:

    Yo, Grey: Great B&S joke.

    In a dynasty league, does a first place team just drop K-Rod (NA, not DL) and grab something useful? I want to win now, but I don’t want to be stoopid about it.



  6. Hank Hammerin says:

    Jose Tabata or Nyjer Morgan? 5 x 5 H2H league using OBP instead of AVG. — need steals


  7. FD says:


    Travis Wood or Tommy Hunter the rest of the year..

    Wood’s projected matchups – @SF, Mil, @Col, Pit, @Hou, @Mil, Hou

    Hunter’s – @Bal, Oak, @KC, @Tor, NYY, @Sea, @Oak, Sea

    i’m probably leaning towards Wood. You?

  8. sean says:

    @cain fan: Pods is a better version of Morgan.

  9. sean says:

    @FD: of course you are…

  10. Deeeeeez Nuts says:

    Paulie! Paulie! Paulie!

  11. and1mcgee says:

    Belle and Sebastian lyrics lol !

    where can i go to sort through MLB batting splits to see who has the highest Sept. batting averages and slugging, etc. etc.?

  12. Tony says:

    i own hamels and nolasco, guess which one i benched and which one i started?


  13. big o says:


    i’m not buying , for one new york minute , that k-rod has ligament damage in his thumb .
    the “mess” just don’t want his attitude , or his contract .
    (gotta start cutting costs SOMEwhere) .
    with the “natinals” starting to clean up their image , i’m not sure exactly where k-rod could end up , next year .
    maybe detroit will take him , if he can be had for a discount .

    @ grey

    speaking of criminals ,
    the rocket’s is going to jail for lying to congress ?
    what about those bazztards ??
    they’ve been lying to me for YEARS .
    granted , clemens is a sleazeball .
    but , again , what about those bazztards ???

    and , yes , nixon should (still) have been shot
    for trying to over-throw the government of the u.s.
    nothing ever changes .

  14. vinko says:

    “keeps chewing through his cone.” Now that’s some funny shiz!

  15. cain fan says:

    @sean: That’s what I figured except he isn’t running in LA!!! It is driving me nuts.

    @sean: @Grey: What’s your take on Daniel Hudson – ownable as a #6/7 SP or switch for Morgan?

  16. Deeeeeez Nuts says:


    Why even bother owning a SP if you’re not going to start him against Pitt?

  17. I guess this one should have gone in the Blech Starter Pick Up Post, but that is yesterday’s news…

    Who would you guys trust more in a start? Niese or Anibal? Can use K’s and Wins the most.

    And is it worth holding on to either of those two over Jamie Garcia the Rest of the way? Thanks and enjoy the weekend, you earned it.

  18. Sos says:

    For the rest of the season would you play any of buck, jaso, or doumit over olivo?

  19. and1mcgee says:

    @and1mcgee: so no one knows how to sort active players for all-time Sept batting average?

  20. @Sos: Depends what you are looking for, I am going Jaso, for avg runs and the occasional SB. When Soto gets back I think I am going to hold onto him to fill in as well.

  21. Anyone know who the closer is in Baltimore? I noticed Uehara closed yesterday though it wasn’t a save situation.

  22. charlie batch says:

    sonvabenched by sanchez too :(

  23. Back to Minors says:

    in other news…Napoli homers Wednesday…out of the lineup Thursday!

  24. HotCorner says:

    @Sos: Olivo over…
    A. Buck
    B. Jaso
    C. Doumit
    D. All of the Above

    I’ll take D

  25. Howard says:

    @Frank Kim You’re guess is as good as mine! I own Gonzalez and Simon hoping for the best.

  26. Tony says:

    @Deeeeeez Nuts: ehhh my bad SANCHEZ and Hamels…. and i threw hamels. Sonvabenched Sanchez. I mean com’n the phils got utley back, rollins is starting to hit a little and they get 1 hit thru 8 and some change? phewwww eff me.

    I do own nolasco as well and threw him vs. PIT on Tuesday or whenever he threw.

    I did manage to sonovabench Scherzer on Monday vs. The Yankees.

    The matchups are saying one thing, the outcome is totally different.

    H2H too, gotta pick and choose.

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mr2Bits: Westbrook, nice play.

    @cain fan: Hold for now, but if he’s benched when Manny returns, sure

    @Howard: Thanks!

    @HotCorner: Happy Birthday!

    @JT: Thanks! Someone dropped K-Rod in my keeper league.

    @Hank Hammerin: Morgan

    @FD: Wood

    @Deeeeeez Nuts: Hehe

    @and1mcgee: ESPN

    @Tony: Ouch

    @big o: Clemens’s arrogance is hurting him more than anything.

    @vinko: Hehe

    @cain fan: I like Hudson.

    @XNadyMen: Niese… Eh, on over Garcia. Have a good weekend!

    @Frank Kim: Mike G. and/or Simon.

    @Back to Minors: Of course!

  28. Black Beard says:

    @HotCorner: Where does Carlos Ruiz fall in this situation? His track record is pretty mediocre but he’s had a nice month. Ramon Hernandez?

  29. sean says:

    @cain fan: Definitely ownable.

  30. and1mcgee says:

    @Grey: I can find leaders by year, but I cannot find how to do multiple years… i guess I can go year by year… i’m looking for players to target for the stretch. You mentioned Derrek and Rollins typically finish strong…. hmm who else

  31. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @and1mcgee: on cbs you can sort players based on production over the last 7/14/21/28 days

  32. Lob Ball says:

    I know he has had success against the Yanks but I’m feeling queezy about tonight. Anyone sitting F-Her? I’m on schedule with my innings limit. Grey-what would you do?

  33. Lines says:

    I can happily say I started Filthy against the Phils yesternight. I feel like I was rewarded for my boldness.

    I’m in Denver, and the local news on CarGo is making me worried. What are your thoughts on Coco’s little hot streak? He’s looking like a decent option if Gonzalez gets DL’ed.

    “…keeps chewing through his cone.” Classic.

  34. Black Beard says:

    @Lob Ball: Felix has been dominant in both his starts against the Yankees this year.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:

    @and1mcgee: Try what Poon said.

    @Lob Ball: What Beard said. I’m starting him everywhere.

    @Lines: I’d grab Coco everywhere. What are they saying about CarGo?

  36. Sucklingduck says:

    @Grey: I need to drop one: Robot Jones, Pedro Alvarez, Colby Rasmus, Sandoval, Lind. Leaning toward Robot. What’s your thoughts? Also, new Belle and Sebastian record this year! Plus Pavement/Superchunk/Guided by Voices reunion. 2010 is a great year to be old:(

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Sucklingduck: Sweet on B&S… Robot’s fine to lose, assuming you don’t have to play Rasmus right now.

  38. ThePoonTycoon says:

    @Sucklingduck: setp/oct are gonna be pretty sweet months for new albums: b&s, of montreal, deerhunter, avey tare and panda bear solo discs (both from animal collective)

  39. Just Another Steve says:

    Back in 1999, I told Konerko that he was the first baseman on my fantasy team — on the very night that Carlos Lee made his big-league debut.

    He was most unimpressed.

    That was the same night that I drunkenly accosted Tom Paciorek with a dumb Hawk Harrelson fart joke (re: Hawk’s tendency to say “Gas, Wimpy” whenever a pitcher was throwing hard).

    Paciorek was similarly unimpressed.

  40. Wilsonian says:

    @Lines: @Grey: I’m on pins and needles about this too. Dude has carried me for months. You’ve now got me searching every website I can come up with.

  41. Mudhens Madness says:

    Getting tired of Denard Dawg. Drop him for Nyjer?

  42. DreadPirate Roberts says:

    drop Adam Jones for Morgan?… here’s the rest of my lineup.
    we have two utility spots.

    i know you might say drop grandy… but i want to ride out his new and improved swing.

    Mike Napoli

    Miguel Cabrera

    Brandon Phillips

    Chone Figgins

    Starlin Castro

    Curtis Granderson

    Adam Jones

    Shane Victorino

    Mark Teixeira

    Hunter Pence

    Nelson Cruz
    (Tex – OF)DL

  43. peter says:

    @Grey: @Wilsonian: According to, CarGo sez “I can’t even walk.”

  44. sean says:

    @Grey: I hate to say this cause he’s been a huge grab for me this year, but you’re dead on about CarGo being hugely overrated for next year. He’s hitting .318 while only walking 4% of the time and striking out at a 24% clip. Nothing screams unsustainable quite like those numbers. Looks more like a .250 approach than a .320.

  45. Grey

    Grey says:

    @sean: Agreed.

  46. sean says:

    @DreadPirate Roberts: I dropped Adam Jones a month ago. His average is creeping up, but he’s not stealing bags, hitting homers, or driving in runs.

  47. Suck My Wieters says:


    Would dropping Josh Beckett for Brain Duensing be a wise move?

  48. DreadPirate Roberts says:

    i picked him up probably since the time you dropped him… cruz hit the DL and i needed a [email protected]sean:

  49. Fresh says:

    lol @ M:HR

  50. DreadPirate Roberts says:

    @sean: sorry, i meant i picked up jones when victorino hit the DL

  51. Fletch says:

    @Grey: Carlos Lee or Carlos Pena at my utility from here on out?

  52. Eddy says:

    Since Beckham has somewhat cooled down I just wanted to know if you’d drop him for either AssCab or Desmond.

    12 team H2H 6×6 with BB as the extra hitting category.

  53. Eddy says:

    Oh and is Hellickson droppable now? Or do you see him getting another start? And yes, this is actually a keeper I’d drop him in, but we can only keep 3.

  54. Fletch says:

    @Grey: You like Crisp, Scott or Granderson better than either Pena or Lee?

  55. AnotherFalstaff says:

    Grey – BJ or Stanton if CarGo goes DL? Thanks!

  56. Eddy says:

    Nevermind on the Hellickson question. Just searching up Davis’ and Niemann’s notes and they say they’ll pitch a simulated game today and most likely be in the rotation by the Angels series (which would have been Hellickson’s next start too).

  57. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Suck My Wieters: I’d drop him for matchups. If you like Duensing’s matchup, go for it.

    @Fresh: Hehe

    @Fletch: Pena

    @Eddy: Asdrubal

    @Eddy: I’d wait until he’s officially demoted or sent to the bullpen.

    @Fletch: If you need steals, Crisp is better than all of them. If you don’t, then he’s not.

  58. peter says:

    This morning I saw something in the distance – it was blurry, and descending quickly from the sky. I can’t be sure, but I think it was Chris Johnson.

  59. Grey

    Grey says:

    @peter: Ha, yeah, he’s done.

  60. papasmurf says:

    The key with Sanchez is to start him against good hitting teams and bench against crappy teams I guess…

    At least I started him this time.

  61. GopherDay says:

    @Grey: Yeah, about Chris Johnson.

    I need to drop one guy. Chris Johnson, Carlos Quentin, or Tabata?

  62. brad says:

    Carlos Gonzalez says he “can’t even walk.” according to Denver Post. “It doesn’t feel any better today.”


  63. peter says:

    @Grey: Yup, 0 for his last 13.

    (Plug Alert!) Just like I do every Friday on, I’m looking forward to today’s Buy/Sell for a potential replacement!

  64. Grey

    Grey says:

    @papasmurf: Yeah, he does seem to pitch better against good teams.

    @GopherDay: Johnson

    @brad: Yeah, not good.

    @peter: Not sure if he’s there, but Betemit’s not bad right now.

  65. herschel says:

    @Grey: too bad we can’t upload photos here. Just saw a 70 year old korean woman driving a powder blue cadillac with the license plate “MRS MMD”. Didn’t know I Stew swung that way…

  66. joe from point pleasant says:

    Wow… Jay Bruce goes 6 for his last 10 with homers in two consectutive nights and doens’t get a mention by you? My how things have changed Grey.

    Don’t you remember the good times that you, Bruce, Slowey and Fowler would have on thursday nights at “Amore” the little italian restaurant down the street. Just you four, shrimp cocktail, and mojitos. Remember how Bruce ALWAYS picked up the tab? How your eyes glistened every time he talked?

    He’s seeing someone else now, and its me. “Thanks for the two homers Brucey! See ya next thursday!”


  67. sucklingduck says:

    @ThePoonTycoon: u know I never got into animal collective….but its probably cuz I never gave them much of a chance. Suggestion on an album to get me started?
    @Grey: I won’t have to play rasmus until Monday so hopefully he’s back. Thanks grey!

  68. Lines says:

    @Grey: Re: CarGo – What brad said.

    I’m about ready to lose Dunn for Crisp. I’ve realized I find the homer-every-few-games-but-strike-out-every-other-AB thing to be more frustration than it’s worth. I’ve got sufficient pop from AGon, Konerko, Longo and Krispie, and I could always use speed.

    On that note…

    Dear Elvis Andrus,
    Please steal a motherfucking base. Seriously. You did it all the time in May. The bases did not get further apart. You know how this works. When you get on base, wait for the pitcher to look away, then FUCKING RUN REALLY FAST.
    Your Fantasy Owners

  69. brad says:

    @herschel: I’d overlook a lot of things for a powder blue cadillac.

  70. Buddo Chezuski says:

    Grey, I recently picked up Duensing and dropped Travis Wood (when Wood was sent down). Now that he’s back up and still looking decent, would you drop Pettitte to get him or do I want to hold on to Pettitte for H2H playoffs?

  71. Gambler says:

    Please rank the top 2 of these 3rd baseman: Beckham, C. Johnson, Infante, Aramis Ramirez, and Alvarez..

    Do you think Aramis is finally healthy again?

  72. Black Beard says:

    @sucklingduck: Since we’re ever so slightly on the indie rock tip, Sufjan Stevens released a new EP this morning; charging 5 bones.

    As for Animal Collective, I’d start with Merriweather Post Pavillion. It’s not quite as out there as their earlier releases.

  73. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Buddo Chezuski: I’d go with Wood.

    @Gambler: Alvarez, Aramis…For the rest of the season. Alvarez and Infante for right now.


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