The “five tool” player (having the abilities to hit for average and power, base-running skills/speed, throwing, and fielding) is one who possesses an incredibly rare set of skills. Branch Rickey, who first coined the term in his book The American Diamond, could only name two true “five tool” players at the time – Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle. Essentially, it’s a term that refers to elite, well-rounded athletes who can do anything and everything on the baseball field. Which players would qualify as true five toolers in today’s game? Three names immediately come to mind – Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, and Manny Machado. Elite skills and production across the board. Andrew McCutchen is a strong candidate based on his track record, though his speed appears to be in decline. Jose Altuve, Mookie Betts, and Starling Marte might have a shortcoming or two, but they’re in the mix as well.

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/4
ARI | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | ATH | CHW | OAK | SEA | WSH

REL baseball logo newHappy Cinco De Mayo!  I certainly know I’ll be drinking, as my rebuilding Brewers continue to have pitching numbers go down the drain like after a great relief following 5 margaritas.   And I certainly know the co-owners of the Nats are drinking heavy today too!  The Nationals are obliterating the NL league, accentuated by a 13-2 drubbing of the Royals in interleague play yesterday afternoon.  On the AL side, it’s still the Orange Birds’ show as they’ve been the hunted all year long.  Somebody break up this powerhouse on the I-95 corridor!  Here’s how week five went down in the 2016 REL League:

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Jacob deGrom reminds some of your classic surfer boy. He has a serious flow going on underneath that Mets’ cap of his, and as some people say, you really should go with the flow when it comes to this guy. On an unrelated side note, if Jacob deGrom was a surfer for real and they had fantasy surfing, I wonder how the scoring would work? Would you get tons of points for avoiding getting eaten by a shark (or maybe you’d get more for getting eaten)? I guess that’s a conversation for another day. The conversation for today should focus solely on getting Jacob deGrom and his flow into your lineup. deGrom is $2,100 more than the next best pitcher on this slate. However, a matchup in the pitchers’ haven that is San Diego against the pitchers’ haven that is the Padres’ lineup is too good to resist. It is hard to imagine him going less than 7 innings and giving up more than 2 runs… The Padres are also third in the majors in hitter strikeouts entering Wednesday. And honestly, you might as well get bonus points for Jacob’s hair, so even though you don’t, you can find security in just picking the great hair.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daniel Murphy is the hottest homophobe since Kirk Cameron got three offers in one week for three different Christian movies, “A Behind…Left Behind,” “Groundhog’s Day Is For Satanists, God Makes The Seasons,” and “Make Me Dinner Woman, And No Leftovers.”  Daniel Murphy’s hotter than Kim Davis looks to lesbians looking for a challenge.  Daniel Murphy is hotter than Ted Nugent’s nougat, which he has to heat to 214 degrees to get the sugar to melt.  Yesterday, Murphy went 4-for-5, 4 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer while hitting .398 on the year.  I’m not saying we need to throw Ted Williams’s head in the microwave to defrost, but we may want to leave it on the counter to slowly bring it to room temperature.  Okay, Murphy’s BABIP is absurdly high (.427), which means he’s hitting about a hundred points too high, so his average will come down.  He’s also not hitting for a ton of power, so it’s a good story right now for the MLB that their hottest hitter is a bigot — The Ghost of Ty Cobb, “That sounds rad.” — but it’ll end eventually.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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With the MLB draft right around the corner it’s time to start looking at the players entering our prospect sphere and what they could bring to the table for our virtual dynasty teams. We’ll start today with the first in a series of posts I’ll be doing on 2016 draft prospects. We’ll start with the 30,000 foot view and dial down the closer we get. So if you’re a MLB draftnik this might be relatively rudimentary, but the vast majority of the fantasy baseball playing world barley knows beyond the top 100 or so prospects. So, in other words, you’re special. You probably also rarely leave your house and are entirely unproductive at work between the months of February and September. Seriously I’m a model employee for 4 months a year, and the rest I do work between baseball stimulation of one kind or another. So today we dive into ten prospects that should have your attention.

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It’s barely May and we have already seen several anticipated rookie pitchers make their MLB debuts. If memory serves me correctly, it was actually Robert Stephenson who got the first call back on April 7th. After an unimpressive first outing in which he got the win, he was optioned back to Triple A. Yep, his outing was so mediocre that he was sent to fix flat tires in the greater Cincinnati area. Ok, so maybe that’s not exactly what happened. Two weeks later, however, Stephenson was recalled for another spot start. This performance was much more impressive. He got another win and was again sent back down.

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The first month is in the books. Whew. And what a month it was. If I had the voice of Morgan Freeman, I’d be happy to record a summary of the fantasy baseball world in April. But, alas, I do not. Seriously, Freeman can make anything sound good. The thing I will miss the most is the daily fluctuations in roto league standings. Watching teams move up or down 10-20 points was exhilirating. It’s on the level of betting on greyhounds in Vegas. When will FanDuel get in on the action? Geez, I’m a freaking degenerate. By the way, nothing beats greyhound racing. Anyways, the point I wanted to make is that those huge gyrations should start mitigating. This is the time when certain stats start stabilizing. We must all pay homage to Russell Carleton, the Pizza Cutter, for his extensive research on stat stabilization. Click here for the stats. For perspective, the leader in plate appearances is Jean Segura with 116 and the leader in batters faced is Zack Greinke with 166. We should have a clearer picture of our teams and players now.

In this weekly column, I will highlight some players that have performed well over the past week. If I like them, Obama will make it rain. If I don’t, they get a whammy. If you are not familiar with whammies, please go and watch old episodes of the game show, Press Your Luck. The hope is that I can help you navigate the treacherous waters of fantasy baseball and have Obama make it rain for you at the end of the season. By the way, tips are not only encouraged but highly recommended. Not like those DFS guys that sell you lineups but don’t cash. I’m all about meritocracy. Don’t get paid unless you get paid. If you don’t win, I’d blame some other guy.

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Hop in the way back when machine with me, would you? This machine could take us anywhere in time. We might see dinosaurs, the signing of the Declaration Of Independence, the toppling of the Berlin Wall…nah, sounds boring, let’s go back to 2015 when I wrote about Rubby de la Rosa instead! I’m merely pointing you to my Rubby de la Rosa Fantasy because I want you to realize I might be biased even though I’ll promise you I’m not biased. Editor’s note: he’s biased. Hey wait, I’m my own editor, what is going on!?!?! I’m also pointing you to said article because it had perhaps the most eloquent handy joke you’ll ever read on the internet. No one does crass with class quite like Razzball! But really, I’m telling you the talent is there and we saw it in his last start against the Cardinals where he shut out the redbirds over 7, K’ing 10 while only walking 2. It would be silly to expect those exact same results, but we might be seeing a breakout I’ve been waiting on for a bit. Now not to damper my own post, but I fully note that Rubby’s problems have been versus lefty bats and tonight’s matchup will more than likely face at least four southies which could be daunting. Tack on that Jose Fernandez will be chalkier than pepto bismol, you’re heading against the grain so for me this almost has to be a tourney-only call unless you’re taking both pitchers from this game to protect yourself from the dangers of the world outside the Miami dome. Fair enough if you do, but I think we have some other ways to go than that so let’s move on. Here’s my Han shot first hot taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Matthew Wisler threw a gem yesterday — 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks, 4 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.24.  Or if you like portmanteaus and/or vomit — Matthrew up a gem.  By the by, after anyone says their name is Matthew, do you always want to say, “Gesundheit?”  “Name for the cup?”  “Matthew.”  “Wow, it’s allergy season, huh?”  That’s me as a barista, a job I never had.  I’ve actually held one real job in my entire life.  I’m like Mark Cuban without the money.  Since I own Wisler in more leagues than I care to admit, I watched the whole game.  Prolly first time I watched one of my pitchers while listening to the opposing broadcast, but you cannot beat the Mets announcers for a broadcast booth or for stories about insane cocaine intake in the 80s.  Wisler was dancing a 94 MPH fastball just at the knees, spinning a backdoor curve that had Neil Walker look more like Neil Statue.  Duda?  Go take a doodie, it’d be more productive than facing Wisler!  Asdrubal?  Well, he actually hit the ball hard.  Quite a few Mets did.  It was like, “Matthew!  Damn, I think I caught something,” and the Braves would look up with a ball in their glove.  So, Wisler’s performance last night was a gorgeous line, but I wouldn’t go near him outside of the deepest of leagues.  In shallower leagues, Matthew?  God bless you for last night, but I don’t need those tissues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Velocity. Youth. Durability. These are a few of the traits that are common among breakout pitchers each and every season. This weeks’s top add, Oakland A’s starting pitcher Rich Hill (51.4% owned; +35.6% over the past week), possesses none of these qualities. Why is he such a hot commodity then? It’s simple. Strikeouts. Through 32 IP this season, his 41 Ks are tied for the 6th highest total in all of baseball. How he’s accomplishing this impressive feat is a bit more complicated. Hill is a 36-year-old with 532 MLB innings on his resumé, and just 104.2 of those were recorded during the 2010-2015 seasons. That’s less than 18 innings or roughly three starts per season. Not terribly encouraging on the durability front. What Hill does have going for him is a knee-buckling curve as well as an effective fourseam fastball which he is able to command effectively against both right-handed and left-handed hitters. This combination has allowed him to rack up the strikeouts as well as induce groundballs at an elite rate. In fact, he’s one of only two qualified starting pitchers this season to produce an 11+ K/9 with a 50+ GB%. The other pitcher is Noah Syndergaard. Grab Hill if he’s available  and enjoy the numbers as long as the old man is able to stay on the field.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

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What a week week 4 was, especially for those RCLers who drafted Dee Gordon.  Gordon had an ADP of 21.35 for our RCLs and never made it past the middle of the third round in any RCL draft.  What a rude thing to awaken to Saturday morning.  Sleeping off that Friday night fun, Gordon owners woke around noon on Saturday to see their (possibly) lone source of stolen bases will be out for half a season.  So what is an RCLer to do?  With the inability to DL him, you’re either forced to drop him, or let him burn a very valuable roster spot for 3 months.  I highly doubt anyone would trade anything of value for him at this point.  When he does come back will he be rusty?  Will he be PED free and back to hitting just above the Mendoza line?  How many bases can he steal in the final 60 games and will that be worth the wasted roster spot?  The way I turn and burn my roster, I say absolutely not.  Give me Rajai Davis on days he plays and the streaming middle infield of Alcides Escobar, Danny Santana and Jonathan Villar to make up the difference and let someone else be hogtied with Dee for half the year.  It’s a darn shame that a batting title is now tainted over this, but there’s really hardly any downside for Dee here.  He got paid, a guaranteed contract, and that’s worth whatever shade is thrown his way now.  Sure, he loses about 5 million of that contract to the suspension, but that’s hardly a deterrent when there’s another 45 million that’s all but in the bank.  It’s too bad and it’s also too bad that not a peep of this was known about before now.  Dee allegedly tested positive during spring training.  If any hint of that had leaked, at least fantasy drafters would have something to go on and possibly avoid him.  Instead, they’re left high and dry.  This is a pretty big suspension for league dynamics everywhere and I wouldn’t be surprised if the likes of Billy Hamilton and Jarod Dyson are traded for a premium over the next couple weeks.  Here’s what else happened in the RCLs this in the week that was, week 4:

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Once in a while, a break is a good thing. It’s especially a good thing in DFS. Yeah, yeah, I always see people on Twitter saying things like #keepgrindin, but a losing streak is a losing streak and who really wants to see their bankroll dwindle away because they are chasing a winning night. A little over two weeks ago I went through a stretch where I couldn’t lose. I cashed nine out of 10 nights, which is relatively impressive. The streak ended last Tuesday with a brutal night and continued on Wednesday with an equally unimpressive showing. With that said, vacation called and I went to Boston for the weekend. I didn’t play DFS, I rarely thought about it, and most of all, I enjoyed the break. I came back with a vengeance on Monday night and cashed in all of my double-ups and 50/50s making the four-day break worthwhile. So let this be a lesson. If you’re getting hammered every night, step back and take a breather. Or, just drink more and pass out. Either way, you’ll be drunk or you’ll save your bankroll. You can’t win every night, but you can certainly win the majority of games you play. Oh, and even with his $12,100 price tag, feel free to use Jake Arrieta against a very good Pittsburgh offense. He’s the best pitcher in baseball not named Clayton Kershaw.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?