Even King Mo, Thy Saver of the Throne, Sire of Sutter, Haver of Fingers, Tester of the Quiz, Nowhere Near the Stench of the Wickman is not immune to the closepocalypse that is upon us. The plague of ninth inning locusts strikes all that cross thee path! What? I was pouring out some Olde English […]
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Will Middlebrooks was called up to step between his brother, Donnybrook, Bobby Valentine and Youuuuuuuuuk. Youuuuuuuuuk said, “Ow, my back hurts, I need the DL,” Valentine said, “Just wrap yourself in lavash, that makes everything better.” Donnybrook erupted in a public place because of needling from Sawx fans and Will Middlebrooks hits a lot of homers in […]
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The Razzball Podcast – The One Where Grey And Rudy Cry
May 2, 2012 | All Podcasts | 385 Commentsby: Grey
The news of Longoria’s injury broke (key word) just before we recorded this thing so you have to excuse our voices with the long faces. We own Longoria everywhere. (Rudy even owns him in the RCL, which brings me a very, very small ounce of joy. And now Tom Milone doesn’t seem half as bad […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Evan Longoria is out for 6 to 8 weeks. Let’s look on the bright side. According to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater, Longoria has been less valuable than Encarnacion and Aviles at 3rd base. On the less bright side, those guys have been really, really good. Okay, that bright side argument didn’t play out so […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Well, not much has changed for closers since last month when we did a run down of all of them. Kimbrel got a save, Axford got a save, and everyone else sucks. Holly Robinson Peete closers are a mess! I don’t think there’s ever been so many Brain Freezes before. I almost feel like adding […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Heath Bell is giving out two run innings like he’s Daryl Hannah giving out crazy vibes. Yesterday, was the fourth time in 8 appearances this year he’s allowed 2 runs. His WHIP (2.70) looks like an ERA, his ERA looks a perfect score from a corrupt figure skater judge (10.80) and the Red Sox are […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Future of the World (Or At Least Angels and Nats) Saved!
April 30, 2012 | Uncategorized | 613 Commentsby: Grey
Bryce Harper and Mike Trout were called up by their respective clubs this weekend. When Bryce left Syracuse for his first major league game, the grand opening of the “Eye Black Isn’t Just For The Ultimate Warrior And Owls” store turned into a Going Out of Business sale. When Mike Trout left Salt Lake for […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Can you get him for cheaper than he’s worth? Is panic mode setting in for his owner? Is he walking around muttering Effjols? When you look into the eyes of your opponent who owns Albert Pujols, what do you see? Do you see someone who is hiding tears, pretending they just came out of Subway […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Yankees got bested by the team that gave Adam Jones away in a chump trade. I mean, yikes with a side of damn. I could even see adding seven a’s into that damn for good measure. Michael Pineda is done for the year with a torn labrum, which only sounds like an injury that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Razzball Podcast: The One Where We Interview Corbin Bernsen
April 25, 2012 | All Podcasts | 378 Commentsby: Grey
I know what you’re thinking, “Roger Dorn did not drop by Razzball HQ?” Well, Roger Dorn did indeed drop by Razzball HQ and sat down (virtually over Skype) to answer some hard hitting questions. And you thought my tangential Hollywood connections were gonna go to waste. I got one word for you. It starts with […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?In the doubleheader, Nate Schierholtz went 6-for-10 with a homer, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, steal and back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-etc. starts from Bochy, go ahead with your big head self! “This is the year Schierholtz breaks out! And fill up my Merlot!” That’s every Giants fan for the last three years. Then within a few weeks, he’s usually […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Humber-uh, Humber-uh, Humber-uh
April 23, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 529 Commentsby: Grey
Let Kate Upton know that Philip Humber is now allowed entrance into the Perfect Club as he retired 27 straight Mariners (here’s a tip: don’t get too close to Dallas Braden in the sauna). That’s only the 21st perfect game in history – surprisingly, as you would’ve thought at least that many pitchers would have thrown […]
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