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Let’s play a quick game of Jeopardy. I’ll take “Inappropriate Clues for $1000 Alex”. Ok, here’s your clue. “It’s not wise to upset a wookie.” If your answer is “what did Han Solo say to C-3PO regarding the holographic game between R2-D2 and Chewbacca aboard the Millennium Falcon?” then you’d be wrong. The correct answer is “what did Hisashi Iwakuma say when I asked him what he thought about playing a prank on Carlos Correa“. And before anyone goes and gets offended by that I’d like to point out that the category was “Inappropriate Clues” and before I moved forward with it I got the approval of Yu Darvish, Norichika AokiMasahiro Tanaka and Ichiro Suzuki. They all got a good raff out of it. So should you.

What do you get when you combine Kris Bryant with a snack that goes great with milk. That’s right. A chocolate chip rookie. Or how about a guy that takes wagers from Maikel Franco and Kyle Schwarber? Rookie bookie. Horrible. See that’s the shit you get when I try and keep my verbal diarrhea unoffensive and kid friendly. It makes me not even want to read my own posts.

So last week I guess I said something about making this week’s topic rookies. To prove that I am a man of my word, and in hopes of not disappointing any of my five readers, I will do just that. As Fred Durst said, I did it all for the rookie. Fred Durst. Ha! More like Fred Worst. I can’t even believe he got a mention in my post. Shame on me. It’s my first year writing for Razzball, so cut me some slack. Rookie mistake.

Who are this season’s top rookies? Instead of letting all the preseason hype do the talking, why don’t we shine the spotlight on the points. That should help us determine which rookies are the most valuable players in fantasy baseball points leagues so far in 2015, right? Well, it isn’t that simple. And here’s why. Some players have had more time in the Majors than others, affording them more plate appearances, allowing them to accrue more points.

Based on year-to-date points, and an ample dose of preseason hype, Kris Bryant is your most valuable rookie in points leagues with 202 points. Boy that would make a whole lot of you really happy, wouldn’t it? Make you feel really good about yourself. Well, he’s not. Before I rain on his parade, let me preface it by saying that I do like Bryant. The kid has a ton of potential and he is going to be a name of consequence in fantasy baseball for years to come. And I won’t lie, coming into the season the kid had my sun dial at high noon. So why isn’t he the guy? Strikeouts. In leagues that don’t punish you for strikeouts, Bryant is definitely your man. But in those that do, he’s just another Chris Davis, with less home runs and more stolen bases. I would never own Davis in a points league.

If we can’t use year-to-date points, how about points per plate appearance? I like where you head’s at. If we use 50 plate appearances as the minimum, then Kyle Schwarber (0.706) is your winner. If we use 100 PA, then it’s Carlos Correa (0.674). And if 200, Devon Travis (0.665). Kris Bryant sits at 0.505! I’m taking all three of these players over Kris Kross. This year and next year. I’m not as sure with Travis, but Correa and Schwarber are going to be points league studs. Throw their positions into the equation and your TI-84 will explode. Other members of the Correa fan club include Shin-Soo Choo, Hyun-Jin Ryu and Jang-Ho Kang. What’s the deal with the hyphen? Is it supposed to be South-Korea? With 7 home runs, 33 RBIs, 5 stolen bases, a .293 batting average and 147 points Kang also finds himself on today’s list. However, his 0.454 PPPA is not very favorable.

Carlos Correa is my pick for the most valuable rookie. In 190 plate appearances he has 9 homers, a .299 average and 128 points. In a full season at his current production level, which I think he can maintain, he is looking at 471 points. In the last 5 years, only a recently acquired Toronto Blue Jay named Troy Tulowitzki scored more with 479 points back in 2011. I didn’t think he’d be this good, this fast. But he is. What do you call a family feud in Carlos’s house? A Correan War. Boom!

After Correa comes Schwarber. And after Schwarber we have Maikel Franco. In 120 less plate appearances Franco has just three less home runs than Bryant. Right now it’s almost a toss up for between the two, but if I was forced to choose, I’d pick James’s brother from another mother, Franco. In a full season of their current trajectories, Franco is looking at 429 points and Schwarber 389.

Anyone wondering where Joc Pederson enters the discussion? The truth is he doesn’t. Well I guess the real truth is “right now” since we are currently discussing him. While he does lead all rookies with 21 home runs, he also leads them in strikeouts (125), and strikeouts are a points killer. Currently he has 186 points (16 less than Bryant) and is on pace for 298 for the season. I can find better on the wire. Chew on that Joc.

What do you call it when Joc Pederson misplays a ball hit to center by Kevin Plawecki? If you were going to say a “rookie error” you’d be wrong. The answer is “the reason Zach Greinke’s streak ended prematurely.” Screw you Joc!

Here’s how I rank rookie hitters in points league for 2015.

Player PA HR RBI SB SO FPTS PPPA
Carlos Correa 190 9 28 5 37 128 0.674
Kyle Schwarber 68 3 11 1 17 48 0.706
Maikel Franco 280 11 38 1 44 175 0.625
Devon Travis 239 8 35 3 43 159 0.665
Matt Duffy 339 9 46 4 60 196 0.578
Billy Burns 333 2 18 20 44 172 0.517
Kris Bryant 400 14 59 10 123 202 0.505
Randal Grichuk 250 11 36 4 77 140 0.56
Miguel Sano 87 3 13 0 30 46 0.529
Delino DeShields 247 0 17 16 52 136 0.551
Joc Pederson 420 21 43 2 125 186 0.443
Eddie Rosario 247 5 24 8 57 123 0.498
Ben Paulsen 196 7 27 0 41 112 0.571
Yasmany Tomas 307 6 37 5 74 135 0.44
Stephen Piscotty 27 0 2 0 4 15 0.556
Jung Ho Kang 304 7 33 5 63 147 0.484

Two things to mention. Even though he’s only had 27 plate appearances, I felt compelled to include Stephen Piscotty on this list. I just felt like I’d rather have him than Kang right now, so the placement seemed to make sense. And if Miguel Sano had more than 87 plate appearances, I think he would have had a chance to be a little higher. For now he can just hang out with Tim Lincecum. Did I say two things? I meant three. Some of you have perhaps already noticed the omission of Stephen Souza Jr. That was not a mistake. Even though he has 15 home runs and 10 stolen bases, he only has 117 points (0.344 PPPA) in 340 plate appearances. He’s useless in points leagues that penalize for strikeouts. I drafted him and dropped him about 2 months ago. Actually I drafted him, dropped him 3 weeks later, picked him back up after a big week and dropped him again a month or so later. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of Souza’s life.

Here’s how I pre-rank them for 2016.

Rank Player
1 Carlos Correa
2 Kyle Schwarber
3 Devon Travis
4 Maikel Franco
5 Kris Bryant
6 Randal Grichuk
7 Miguel Sano
8 Stephen Piscotty
9 Matt Duffy
10 Billy Burns
11 Delino DeShields
12 Yasmany Tomas

What about pitchers? While I’d like to rank Stephen Matz and his 26.3 points per start (PPS) at number one, his sample size of two starts isn’t enough to justify the top spot. He’s still the rookie pitcher I’d prefer to own however. After him I’d take Andrew Heaney and his 23.22 PPS. But once again, he’s only started 6 games and that’s not really enough to allow me to say he’s been the most valuable rookie starting pitcher in points leagues. That honor has to go to Chris Heston. In 20 starts he has 325 points (16.25 PPS) and a no-hitter. I’m still taking Heaney and Matz over him, but he has certainly helped his owners this season. Not to mention his RP eligibility. That’s something you can never overlook in leagues that permit it. Here’s how I see it:

Player GS IP K/9 ERA FPTS PPS
Chris Heston 20 126 7.07 3.14 325 16.25
Nathan Karns 20 115 8.3 3.37 270 13.5
Anthony DeSclafani 20 120 6.45 3.75 236 11.8
Andrew Heaney 6 40.1 6.96 1.79 139.3 23.22
Taylor Jungmann 9 59 7.02 2.14 163 18.11
Steven Matz 2 13.2 9.55 1.32 52.6 26.3
Zack Godley 2 12 8.25 2.25 42 21

As for 2016, it’s Matz and Heaney all the way. But for now I’ve had all the rookies I can handle.

Hey Justin Turner. I hope that pimple on your leg heals up soon. Right now I have 0 points this week from you. Get some Clearasil and get out there!

See you next week. Perhaps I will try and take a look at how this week’s trade deadline moves affect points leagues. And for those of you fantasy football readers, I should be putting out my first post of the season soon…