If Miggy were a Russian nesting doll, the first doll under him would be Avisail Garcia. They look like so similar they could do Sister, Sister-type stunts. “I don’t want to face Felix Hernandez today, you take my jersey and you face him…Then take my algebra exam.” “Okay, sis, but you have to go out with Bobby for me. Pinky swear!” That’s them conspiring to use their physical similarities on unsuspecting people. (Bee tee dubya, I’ve never seen an episode of Sister, Sister, and if I missed the general gist of the show, I apologize to all the prankster twins reading for generalizing. But, I will say, twins should apologize for looking similar, it’s disconcerting. The first time you see them you have to ask yourself, “Am I on peyote right now? No, I’m not, I’m looking at a twin.” Any the hoo!) Comparing him to Miggy doesn’t give the whole picture of Avisail. Well, it does, but, okay, bad choice of words. It doesn’t tell you what kind of hitter Avisail is. He’s not a 40-homer hitter. At least not yet. He has some speed, even stole 20 bases one year in the minors, when he was only 18 years old. He also probably won’t hit for more than 25 homers all of next year. He can hit for a solid average. Last year, while only 21 years old for half the year (no, he doesn’t have two birthdays a year; I mean he was 21 for half the season), he hit .370 in the minors. He reminds me more of a young Matt Holliday — think around 25 HRs, 15 SBs and .315. Definitely someone I would be aggressive about in keepers. As for this year, now that he’s fully recovered from his torn labrum, an injury that sounds like it would happen to a gymnast, he’s someone I’d look at in all leagues. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Rusney Castillo – Signed today with the Sawx. Yoenis Cespedes, Castillo’s former teammate and about to be current teammate, said about Rusney, “If he’s not a five-tool player, he’s at least a four-tool player. He’s very comparable to Yasiel Puig. Obviously a different height and size, but very similar qualities.” Yoenis could have a career as a scout, huh? Seriously, who wrote that quote for him? That quote reminds me of copying word-for-word a homework assignment from a smart kid. Yoenis forgot to mess up the quote a little bit so it would sound like it’s from him. Should be more like, “Rusney’s going to be great, he can run, throw and hit. As good as Puig? Maybe.” Now that sounds like a quote from Yoenis. Yoenis is walking around saying five-tool player? Please. Or that’s why he was traded out of Oakland, Jonah Hill was jealous of his knowledge. Okay, that fake quote that was attributed to Yoenis aside, Rusney isn’t a Puig-type player. He seems more like a Victorino-type. Maybe a tad more power. Think 15-ish homers, 35-ish steals. The minor league season is about to end, so the Sawx could promote him just to see what he can do. In redraft leagues, I’d take a flyer for upside, but expect nothing. In keeper leagues, I’d pursue aggressively. He could be a solid number two outfielder next year.
Joc Pederson – With September callups only a little over a week away, the other day Ned Colletti said Pederson and Guerrero will receive call-ups on September 1st. I’ll chew your ear about Guerrero in a moment. Pederson is ridunkly sexy. Like my 87-year-old grandfather’s 60-year-old girlfriend sexy. What? I have a cougar problem! Here’s what my grandfather told me, “Your wife is okay, but my girl is Angie Dickinson sexy.” His exact words. Pederson is two steals short of a 30/30 season while hitting .300. In 80 years in the PCL league, no one’s gone 30/30. Can the Dodgers make Carl Crawford glue this offseason so I can name Pederson my preseason Rookie of the Year selection? Please. That takes me back to Pederson’s problem this September. He won’t have anywhere to play without a serious injury to one of their studs. I’m using stud there still with the train of thought about making glue. In keepers, Pederson is a must own, he can be special. For this year, I bet he doesn’t get more than 35 at-bats.
Jorge Soler – I already gave you my Jorge Soler fantasy. I wrote it while pleading for a sad woman to take it slow and have some patience.
Travis Snider – I’m randy for Travis! Which makes me feel uncomfortable. I need to be deprogrammed.
Ender Inciarte – Kevin Towers has really made the best of a bad situation in Arizona that he created for himself. Due to this and having no chance of being within 20 games of the Wild Card, guys like David Peralta and Inciarte are playing. Ooh, did I drop on you the double hot schmotato blurb without you even expecting it? You’ve been double schmotato’d! Don’t worry, you won’t be slimed.
Jon Jay – Federalisztomania! What? The only French rock you like is a stale baguette?
Oswaldo Arcia – Okay, you’re looking at Oswaldo, Jay, Avisail, Snider and hot schmotato behind door number *counting on fingers* 5. Who are you grabbing? Tough to say, all about needs. Avisail has the most upside, Oswaldo has the most power and others have a certain Jon Jay sais quoi.
Wil Myers – The fact that he’s under 50% owned makes me think in six short months he’s going to be wildly underrated. Sure, he wasn’t good in the time when he was healthy this year, but I don’t think we can lump him in with the Delmon Young of failed prospects. Lump and Delmon Young do seem to fit perfectly in the same sentence. And Klump, that would work too.
Alex Guerrero – As for Guerrero and his Phantom of the Opera mask that Miguel Olivo mouth-designed for him. The Dodgers could work him into the middle infield and move Hanley to 3rd base or occasionally bench Gordon. Guerrero probably still won’t see everyday at-bats, but in deep daily leagues, I bet he’ll have more value in September than Pederson. This year in Triple-A he showed his 15-ish homer power and 5-7 steal speed. He should also be stashed in keepers, since he should have some sort of job next year too, and I’m guessing that job won’t be as an ear model.
Mookie Betts – Here’s what I said the other day about Betts, “Jackie “I Can Walk Three Times In One Game!” Bradley Jr. was demoted and Betts was recalled to play center field. Singing John Fogerty at karaoke paid off! Betts absolutely dominated Triple-A, and he’s not a Quad-A player. He’s 21 years old with plenty of time for him to develop into a 10 HRs, 30 SBs guy. Whether that happens this year –> your guess = my guess. I’d grab him in most leagues for speed if you need an upside gamble.” And that’s me quoting me!
Jedd Gyorko – Bit surprised to see him under 50% owned still. So, why can’t you pick him up? Because he hurt you so badly and you can’t forgive him? He didn’t fill your car with bubble bath, he was hurt. Get over your differences and grab him.
Mike Moustakas – When you ignore the Hitter-Tron‘s giant hard-on for Rockies hitters and metal, you find it really likes Mostsuckass this week.
Kennys Vargas – There’s a 3rd grade teacher somewhere that’s mentally correcting him to Kennies.
Kendrys Morales – Sticking with the newly established weird plural theme, pick up Kendrys, cleaning. Sorry, I’m also writing errand reminders for myself.
James Loney – He’s actually had a decent season so far xcsnuisdnc Oops, I fell asleep and my head hit the keyboard. What were we chatting about? Oh, Loney cdsnd8165nsdn Again, my apologies. Where were we?
Archie Bradley – I gave you my Archie Bradley fantasy in October of last year. It kinda still applies and it kinda doesn’t. I thought Bradley would be up sooner, but he had an arm injury that derailed him. Why do I now have Ryan Adams singing Waiting to Derail in my head? Stupid free association. Bradley’s worth a gamble since he’ll be up in September, but in most mixed leagues, he’s just a streamer.
Vidal Nuno – Oy, Stream-o-Nator‘s really making me go out on a less-than-sturdy limb for this week. At least I had the good sense to not suggest Danny Salazar, though by mentioning him, am I suggesting him? Hmm… Faulty logic, you are confusing me!
Roenis Elias – Ugh, where’s the decent Stream-o-Nator picks? Good starts should be a dime a dozen this time of year. I wouldn’t struggle to fit a Roenis peg in a square hole, if you’re not desperate.
Kevin Quackenbush – Are you ready for the SAGNOF portion of our program? Of course you are, what the hell else are you doing? Pouring ice water over your head?
Pat Neshek – Matheny has vehemently denied removing Rosenthal from the closer role to the point where I think he might’ve painted himself into a corner and would be afraid of removing Trevor just so he doesn’t look like a dope. Not to say Neshek shouldn’t see saves, but I’m less convinced he will.
Jeurys Familia – His name translates literally as: Your pain in the ass cousin that keeps calling you asking if there’s any way you can put in a good word for him before he goes in for the job interview. Familia should be less painful to be around, but you can’t choose where saves are going to come from.
Jonathan Broxton – Chapman says he’s fine, and he pitched yesterday with decent results, but I’d still speculate on Broxton. Then again I’m like a crack whore right now for saves. Excuse me, a crack lady of the night.
SELL
Gregory Polanco – Players usually hit an adjustment period a few weeks after they land in the majors. Sometimes it lasts a few weeks, sometimes it lasts a few years — see Brett Lawrie. Will Polanco be terrific? Like a Wheat Thins sandwich of Cheez Whiz, but right now he’s really struggling and even losing at-bats.
David Wright – Both guys this week I’m suggesting you drop in shallower leagues were in Sell columns a few weeks ago when you could still trade players. That you didn’t trade them is fine. I pardon you like Ralph Fiennes. Who I don’t pardon is Wright. Right now, he has 8 homers, 6 steals and is hitting .268. I believe Dozier had that through the first month of the season. On our Player Rater, Wright is currently ranked 194th overall, sandwiched between Homer Bailey and Tim Hudson. Um, crap. At 3rd base, Lonnie Chisenhall has been more valuable, and he had one good game (okay, I’m exaggerating, but not far off). Wright hasn’t even had one good game and is complaining of a sore shoulder. Did this all happen to him because he dissed cougars last year? Yes, probably. But it’s too late to play Monday morning quarterback. (Awkward segue alert! It’s not too late to play in our fantasy football leagues.) In most leagues, I’d blow off Wright like he did to those generous with their beauty and hard candies, the blue-haired bitties.
