How many of us have them?
Ones we can depend on
So it dawned upon me that, in the Whodini song, “Friends”, can be replaced by any good word, from your favorite lady parts to my personal favorite, relievers. That’s the hard part, reliability. The reliability of a great conversation with say, and in this instance, a Bartender. Who just happens to be in the news again this week. Tom Wilhelmsen is back, as was inevitable. I mean, come on, Ollie Perez, really? Really? Eric the Wedge has seen the light and by hallelujah from up above realized the error of his ways. Now, he wasn’t laying blame on anyone, though I think it may have been Radames, at least that’s what my boy Bishop was sayin’. So, not if, but when he gets back, what has he learned, walks need to come down, K’s need to come up. Shot specials or a bucket special wouldn’t hurt either. Tom Will needs to forget that month long stretch where he was about as good as a 12-pack of Schafer light. I have some confidence, but the chances will be limited as the Marginers have only had 1, yes I said 1, save opportunity in the last 14 days. Hooray for stats. Stick around for some other tidbits and rankings. Oh and Enjoy the glorious celebration of our nation’s birth.
Heath Bell – Was shown the door on account of a returning Putz. Gibby then went all “I’m the guy who limped around the bases” and said Bell will return to the role of closing in the desert. Funny, I thought that guy would have been named Moses.
Aroldis Chapman – Anyone else notice that a consensus top 5 closer has been awfully quiet lately? Yeah, the K’s have been there, but 9 whole innings in the last 30 days. That’s not getting much production from your “best” pitcher, quotations are like tooth picks here. Useless and annoying when you don’t use them to there proper capabilities.
Steve Cishek – The hottest name in trade rumors this side of Kevin Gregg. Miami is going no where like a refugee raft with a hole in it. So showcase away Stevie, a contender is awaiting. 10 saves in the past month out of 11 chances. In case you’re keeping track that’s the same amount as Grilli and Sergio Romo. Combined.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
1. Craig Kimbrel (-) (Jordan Walden, Luis Avilan, Cory Gearrin)
2. Mariano Rivera (-) (David Robertson, Boone Logan, Shawn Kelley)
3. Joe Nathan ( +1) (Tanner Scheppers, Robbie Ross, Neal Cotts)
4. Rafael Soriano (+2) (Drew Storen, Tyler Clippard)
5. Aroldis Chapman (-2) (J.J. Hoover, Sam LeCure)
6. Jason Grilli (-1) (Mark Melancon, Justin Wilson, Tony Watson)
7. Jonathan Papelbon (-) (Antonio Bastardo, Justin De Fratus)
8. Addison Reed (+1 ) ( Jesse Crain, Matt Thornton)
9. Jim Johnson (+3) (Tommy Hunter, Darren O’Day, Brian Matusz)
10. Glen Perkins (+4) (Jared Burton, Casey Fien, Brian Duensing)
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
11. Sergio Romo (-2) (Jeremy Affeldt, George Kontos)
12. Edward Mujica (-1) (Trevor Rosenthal, Michael Blazek, Randy Choate)
13. Grant Balfour (+2) (Ryan Cook, Sean Doolittle)
14. Ernesto Frieri (+1) (Scott Downs, Kevin Jepsen, Michael Kohn)
15. Greg Holland (+1) (Aaron Crow, Tim Collins)
16. Casey Janssen (+1 ) (Steve Delabar, Aaron Loup, Brett Cecil)
17. Kenley Jansen (+5) (Brandon League, Paco Rodriguez, Carlos Marmol)
18. Fernando Rodney (-) (Joel Peralta, Jake McGee)
19. Bobby Parnell (+1) (Brandon Lyon, LaTroy Hawkins, David Aardsma)
20. Huston Street (+7) (Luke Gregerson, Dale Thayer)
21. Rafael Betancourt (+7) (Rex Brothers, Matt Belisle)
22. Kevin Gregg (+2) (James Russell, Blake Parker)
23. Chris Perez (+5) (Vinnie Pestano, Cody Allen, Joe Smith)
24. Steve Cishek (+6) (Mike Dunn, Chad Qualls, A.J. Ramos)
25. Jose Veras (+1) (Jose Cisnero, Travis Blackley, Wesley Wright)
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.
26. Koji Uehara – (-3)(Andrew Bailey, Junichi Tazawa, Andrew Miller)
27. Joaquin Benoit (-8) (Drew Smyly, Al Alburquerque, Bruce Rondon)
28. Heath Bell (-7) (J.J. Putz, David Hernandez, Brad Ziegler)
29. Francisco Rodriguez (-4) (Jim Henderson, Jon Axford)
30. Tom Wilhelmsen (-12) (Yoervis Medina, Oliver Perez, Carter Capps)