Alex Gordon revealed yesterday that he would require hip surgery and would miss a few months.  Willie Bloomquist owners rejoice!  Obviously this isn’t great news for Gordon.  That’s 99 red balloons for your fearless leader, Grey.  I loved me some Alex Gordon.  Though, as fate would have it, I didn’t actually get him on any team.  Not by design.  I luckily backed up into that one.  You can DL him, but I’d cut bait if you have anyone else in the DL slot.  Gordon’s not coming back for a while and even when he was around, he was tentative at best.  It’s going to be real hard for me to sell anyone on drafting him next year.  But I will try!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

LaTroy Hawkins – Notched a save as Jose Valverde was held out of the game because of a sore back.  The Astros are making it sound like Valverde’s back isn’t much of an issue.  Yeah, and the Orioles wanted Wieters to work on his D.  And the Mariners brought Griffey back so they can win games not as a PR stunt.  And the Rockies were happy with the value they received for Holliday.  These clubs lie through their teeth.  Valverde may be fine and Hawkins is a cuddle boy, but all that means nothing if Hawkins is getting the saves.  If you have room, own him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I think I’m approximately six weeks late on this, but if you read Razzball daily (of course you do, you reader, you!) then you’ve read before some, if not all, of these predictions.  So what now? Read them again.  They won’t hurt you.  Plus now that I’ve put all of my ‘preseason’ predictions in one place, we can look back at this later in the year and laugh.  Oh, and we will laugh.  Who’s your NL MVP?  Soriano?  Oh, you do kid, Grey.  You do!

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You have ADD and you have no idea how this sentence will end because you’re already reading the comments.  You drafted Hanley and traded him for Bonifacio.  You’re glad Marco Scutaro has 3rd base eligibility so you can drop Chris Davis.  Webb is lucky he was DL’d because you were about to drop him for Kevin Millwood.  You’re trigger finger is itching and only Nyjer Morgan can scratch it.  You’re also potentially losing your league in April.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Chien-Ming Wang – the two-time 19 game winner – is pitching historically bad.  How bad?  Some TV highlight show quoted some statistical service that the 15 earned runs he’s given up in the past 2 starts are the most ever for a Yankee pitcher’s first two starts of the year.  For fantasy purposes, he’s more toxic than Chinese air, waterways, and land combined.  As for Ted Lilly, you have to respect a guy who can overcome the ignominy of being traded for Hideki Irabu and Jeff Weaver.  He’s been a very underrated late game starter for the past two years with the Cubs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The only people that are heaped with more scorn than nerds at Adams College are fantasy pitchers who are drafted in the top 6 rounds only to severely disappoint.  It may not be fair to the pitchers but it definitely offers up some bargains come draft time for those that can see that they are champions and will keep on fighting ’til the end.  Aaron Harang and Erik Bedard are your Louis and Gilbert.  Granted Harang was facing the Pirates, but a 3 hit no walk shutout with 9 K’s has got to be a great sign for those that gambled on a comeback.  Erik Bedard – who has been great when healthy – tosses 8 1/3 shutout innings agains the A’s with 3 hits and a walk.  Assuming these two can stay healthy (no small challenge for Bedard or a pitcher on Dusty’s staff), their fantasy owners will be eating pie this year.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Webb – To the DL with a sore right shoulder.  I warned people back in February not to make this guy your top starter, “As for Webb, I’m legitimately worried about him.  So much of his value is derived from good Win karma,” but obviously the Eight Ball didn’t even predict things would be this bad.  For those thinking it’s a good Buy opportunity because his owners are now discounting him.  Let’s drop some Liquid Paper on your brain and correct that.  Pitchers + arm, shoulder or elbow injuries = Don’t Want.

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The title was part of a special Simpsons that Kim Jong Il commissioned where Ralph Wiggum’s mouth is jammed shut full of Korean bean paste.  Stupid American!  Last year in 317 ABs, Shin-Soo Choo had 14 HRs and 4 steals while batting .309.  Though, as I used to say to one ex-girlfriend, “Beware the small sample size.” Hmm… Maybe that’s oversharing.  Choo’s last two months were a bit-torrent, to incorrectly use the slang of the kids.  If you were to project Choo’s last year stats out over a full season with a full-time job, you get the wrong idea.  He’s not a 25+ home run guy.  The good thing (as of right now), he does have the full time job.  In 2009, we should expect Shin-Soo Choo to have less power than he showed, but more speed.

Please, blog, may I have some more?