The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever. Because you never get on base, that’s the first step to going […]
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Yasmani Grandal is starring in an off-off Broadway production of OBPwulf. Since everyone was supposed to read Beowulf, but no one has actually ever read it, the play starts with Grandal standing on first after a walk, and then he stands there and stands there and stands there, waiting for another Padre hitter to get him […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Let’s get in the Wayback Machine. Back in March, Zsa Zsa Gabor was still alive, there wasn’t a legitimate Republican candidate for the White House and Desmond Jennings had loads of potential. Now stepping out of the Wayback Machine we realize those three things are still true. Time keeps on slipping and Zsa Zsa keeps […]
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Madbumbawumba, A One Hit Wonder
June 29, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 173 Commentsby: Grey
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks. This year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Maybe you heard this one before? Yeah, of course you did. As Fran Drescher would tell you, it’s not whining, I’m nasally. In this very special episode of the Razzball Podcast, we have no guests. I know, bummer. Well, I asked you people to bother The Rasmus Girl on Twitter to get her to come […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?In a Hudson vs. Hudson battle, Tim won on a technicality as Daniel Hudson left the game with what seemed to be a forearm injury. To add insult to injury, he left the game after giving up 5 ER on 7 hits in 1 2/3 IP. With a ghastly 7.35 ERA in 45 IP this […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rizzo, “Hey I’m Playing In The Majors Here!”
June 26, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 503 Commentsby: Grey
As I announced yesterday after inferring things from elsewhere, it’s official. Anthony Rizzo will be in tonight’s lineup vs. the Mets. I’d continue to paint the walls of your brain with more praise, but I think we’ve heard enough. If I effuse anymore, you Rizzo owners aren’t going to be able to get into your […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Youkilis To Begin Dating Jay Cutler’s Sister
June 25, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 533 Commentsby: Grey
The trade to the White Sox couldn’t have worked any better for Kevin Youkilis. Now he can just chuck all of his clothes in with some bleach. I imagine him and Ventura will get along thick as thieves. They can bond over how they were both publicly beat up. Ventura by Nolan and Youuuuuuuuk by […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Here’s A Ryan That’s Not A Supremacist
June 22, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 542 Commentsby: Grey
Ryan Zimmerman recently admitted to the Washington Post that his shoulder isn’t at 100%. I recently admitted to the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston Alumni magazine that my pinkie finger has been acting up. I go to type up some fantasy baseball advice and it looks like this, “I drafted Ryan Zimmerman, that piece […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Norris & Suzuki – A’s Catchers Or Karate Tourney Final?
June 22, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 328 Commentsby: Grey
The A’s called up Derek Norris, the catcher prospect they got from the Nationals. Little known fact: The Nats traded Norris because he’s less kidnappable. You might remember Derek Norris was in the huge trade Beane pulled off back in December that had Gio going to the Nats. Can you say Moneyball sequel?! Actually, if […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Troy Injured Too Low To Be Risky
June 21, 2012 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 384 Commentsby: Grey
You walking out of your H2H draft, “I might have overspent on Tulo but, as long as I have him in September, I’m fine. Now where are those cigars I’ve been saving for the birth of my firstborn? I need a stogie up in here!” You might’ve just got your wish. Troy Tulowitzki is gonna […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Razzball Podcast — The One Where Peter King Drops By
June 20, 2012 | Uncategorized | 257 Commentsby: Grey
The great, incomparable, adjective Peter King came by Razzball HQ (virtually) and answered some hard-hitting questions. I wasn’t wearing a shirt for the interview, but you get the sense from the astute nature of my questions that I had on a shirt. Maybe even one that buttoned down. *thinking* Nope, just a t-shirt. Let’s not […]
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