How dare you.  How dare you make me write a Buy for Jay Bruce.  Did you forget all our pre-draft love?  It’s less than two weeks into the season.  People need to chillax.  Here’s what Jay Bruce had to say to all his naysayersJay Bruce could hit 7 homers in April.  Still.   Before he goes streaking, go to Marshall’s and buy him some pants.  You owe him that.  Bruce is one of those guys that I wish would slump for another two weeks, so I can trade for him even cheaper.  I will Mola Ram the Bruce right out of your team’s chest.  Then I will grab a fart and Nolan Ryan it right into your skull Robin Ventura-style.  As I cackle.  I will cackle loudly.  Hold Bruce, covet Bruce.  Don’t give up on Bruce.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we jump into the players, I need to make an announcement.  Our very own Rudy Gamble is getting married in a few weeks.  Sorry our three lady readers, the fro’s off the market.  So this weekend we’re in Vegas for his bachelor party and I’m his best man.  Yes, I got him a blow up doll to carry and a uber-realistic vulva skullcap to wear all weekend.  But that means I won’t be as close to a computer to answer comments until Sunday.  You guys need to help each other.  I know you can.  Make me proud.  Anyway II, here’s the post:


Jose Guillen – His last three Aprils –>  199 ABs  –> 25/7/25/.211.  –> Belch.  This April his burps smell like he just chugged some rose water.  I don’t think in October we’re going to have conversations about whether we can give Guillen an MVP even though the Royals lost a 100 games, but 30 HRs and a .280 average aren’t out of the question.  Also known as, what you were hoping to get from Ludwick.

Jeff Francoeur – He’s only 26, he’s taking walks and Frenchy’s hitting freedom flies.

Krispie Young – Also 26 years old, also taking walks (okay, only 2 as of this writing) and hitting Krispie flies.

Magglio Ordonez – Getting hits like he just dropped his debut album, Maggystyle.  She want the Maggy with the biggest cuts, and guess what?  He is Mags, and Mags is him.  Alas, I’m fully expecting him to start sucking soon.  Could’ve easily been in the Sell section, but really who’s buying this schmohawk.  Make a record of his label, “Own While Hitting.”

Josh Willingham – Went over him in last week’s Buy/Sell.  All Buy/Sells are located on the left sidebar.  No, your other left.

Seth Smith – Doesn’t his name seem like it should be the name for an unknown corpse?  Coincidentally, that’s how well he’s hitting too.  He’s worth a chance in deep leagues while he has every day time.

Scott Podsednik – It’s like this Buy post just hopped out of the hot tub time machine.  Who’s next, Kevin Gregg? Aw, geez…

Kevin Gregg – Here’s the thing with closers and, frankly, I’d write this on my forehead.  If guys are getting saves, you should own them.  In two months, if Gregg has 15 saves and still rocking a solid ERA, you can trade him for a much bigger piece than you’re getting off of waivers.  Wow, guess that’s a lot to write on your forehead.  How about you just write “SAGNOF!”

Fernando Rodney – Member what I wrote back in the Gregg blurb?  It still applies.

Jim Johnson – Same shizz, different blurb.

Jensen Lewis – A familiar pattern has emerged and here comes a filial pattern.

Ty Wigginton – Hey, it’s Casey McGehee Sr.

Casey McGehee – What’s up, Dad?!

Ryan Theriot – It’s me, your cousin.  Ryan.  Ryan Theriot.  The one with speed.  Oh, well.

Alcides Escobar – People really need to give this guy a bit more time.  The steals can come in a hurry.

Carl Pavano – I’d like to say he’s crizzap just as much as you, but his walk rate has me ignoring my past prejudices.   Is he the rebirth of slick?  Nah, Doodlebug.  But sometimes stability’s cool like dat.

Justin Masterson – Already went over him numerous times in the last few days.  You’re following along.  I don’t need to say anything else, right?

Justin Duchscherer – Total Bennis Carpensheeter.  His career numbers over 439 2/3 innings are a 3.15 ERA and 1.12 WHIP.  Why’s he owned in only 4.2% of ESPN leagues?  Your guess = My guess.

Brad Penny – Duncan just pulled a Penny from behind your ear.  Abracadabra, snitches!

C.J. Wilson – Ceej has always sported a nice K-rate.  Not crazy about Texas pitchers, but I’d give him a shot in the right matchups.  (Yes, I called him Ceej.  Yes, that’s lame.)

Ricky Romero – I really hate AL East pitchers not named… Well, you know the ones I like.  Here’s what happens, you don’t start Romero vs. the Sawx and he pitches well.  Then he faces the Orioles and they manage to hit him.  Then he throws against the Yankees and you second guess benching him and he gets hit again.  Before you know it you’re writing mission statements, getting fired, flipping out, taking a goldfish and a single mom to start your own business.  Only you’re not half as handsome as Tom Cruise, don’t know the first thing about business and the single mom has an ex with a neck tattoo who likes to booze with breakfast.


Scott Sizemore – This isn’t a sell as much as a time to move on.  It was a nice try for some *pinkie to mouth* upsize.  But it’s not working.  Let him figure out how to hit major league pitching on someone else’s dime.  If he starts hitting at some point, he’ll be out there for your grabby hands.

Sean Rodriguez – He needs to play every day and actually hit to warrant ownership.  I’ve lost him in numerous leagues.  To warn you though, I will be the first to say grab him if he does start hitting.  For now, go with a hot hitting MI.

Fausto Carmona – Name the movie:  “I can’t believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book!  What a goof.  What’s with you man?  C’mon!”  Using Google is officially cheating.

Chris Carpenter – I know, blasphemy!  Everyone loves Carpenter.  He’s a grinder.  He is blue collar.  I am, Carpenter.  Rawr!  Get away from me documentary filmmakers, I’m eating dolphin babies.  I am, Carpenter.  Yeah, it’s all terrific.  He has a pretty lengthy track record of solid pitching.  His injury track record is as lengthy.  I say there’s a 50% chance of a breakdown this year.  His strikeouts are just okay.  I’m not saying sell him for an expired Capri Sun coupon, but I’d listen to offers.

  1. noxad says:

    Answer to movie quote question: Spaceballs. Seen it more times than I care to admit…

  2. danimal35 says:

    Latos or Masterson?

  3. majortommy says:

    Grey, you are an obvious foodie, you looking forward to dining at any place in particular in Vegas?

  4. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Congrats Rudy Gamble!

    Have a great time in Vegas. You never get tired there. The secret? Pure oxygen. They pipe it into the casinos.

    Also: No windows.

    True story!

  5. Mr. Mitch says:

    I was thinking the quote was from The Princess Bride.

  6. Beau says:

    I have a need for speed, drop Hardy for alcides or theriot?

  7. XNadyMen says:

    Congrats Rudy.

    Enjoy the weekend fellas, and remember, always bet on black….sox.

  8. I’d also think about picking up Juan Gutierrez (Qualls’s knee not right?) Shaun Marcum (2008 line was great, recovered from Tommy John surgery?), or Koji Uehara (stash him on your DL: why not?).

  9. Professor Chaos says:

    @Grey: I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!

  10. Eddie says:

    Obviously Spaceballs. “I can see your schwartz is as big as mine.”
    Mazal tov, Rudy.

  11. William says:

    Jensen Lewis as a BUY? Am I missing something? Acta gave Chris Perez the dreaded vote of confidence

  12. Eddie says:

    I was late with that quote, so let me make up for it with this one: “What’s wrong with mega maid?”
    “She’s gone from suck to blow!”

  13. Dingo says:

    @sean: Few things are as funny as a giant clumsy moonwalking stuffed animal.

    Congratulations, Rudy!

  14. peter says:

    @danimal35: Their skills in 2010 may be a push, so go with the NL West pitcher over the AL Central one.

    @Beau: I would for Alcides… much more speed upside than The Riot.

  15. Terrence Mann says:

    “She doesn’t look Druish.”

    My favorite line from Spaceballs. Personally, I’ll be laying off these Tigers and Royals players. They’ve had the advantage of playing each other two complete series already. Now that their AAAA warmup is over, they start running into real teams.

  16. Nathan says:

    @Mr. Mitch: That was my first thought as well, but it’s not quite the same.

    Though in fairness, Rick Moranis and Wallace Shawn are similar actors who often play similar roles.

  17. Howard says:

    Congrats to Rudy! Have a great time in Vegas Grey. You know what they say…”what happens in Vegas…”!
    Quick question, Johnson or Guttierez from the land of the living and from the walking wounded, Wood or Bra DL idge? Thanks.

    While I’m here I might as well ask, Krispy or Bruce?

  18. Terrence Mann says:


    Quality. The music is perfect.

    Also, congrats Rudy! I’m sure there’s enough degenerate gamblers here to give you great advice on drinking, gambling, and hookers in Vegas.

  19. dingers says:

    “not near the computer” …huh?
    that’s it no more margaritas, time to chip in for the Grey IPAD ..haha

    Have a blast in Vegas! Bet it all on the Astros! ..not!

  20. sean says:

    @Rudy: “Four of us wolves running around the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!”

    Congrats, ‘Fro

  21. aconstipatedmonkey says:

    Highly impressive on the Digable Planets reference, hombre. One nickel bag of funk to you!!

  22. charlie batch says:

    good on ya Rudy! Have a blast guys

  23. joey joe joe jr shabadoo says:

    i have aroldis chapman clogging up a roster spot. should i drop him for either masterson or penny?

  24. peter says:

    @Howard: If it’s either or, I’d rather have Johnson over Gutierrez. Johnson is already getting save opps; Gutierrez is more speculative for the time being. I don’t know about Wood or Lidge… And I like Bruce over Krispie; the power is more of a sure thing. Though sure is relative.

  25. Lava says:

    So without Grey for the weekend, what are everyone’s thoughts on CJ Wilson today? Grey mentioned “in the right matchups” which at Yankee stadium is inevitably not.

    It’s a h2h league where I’m behind in pitching cats, but I have Baker today and Cueto/Ubaldo/Oswalt tomorrow.

    Might be a gamble to use him today…

  26. peter says:

    @joey joe joe jr shabadoo: How big is the league? What’s the rest of your pitching staff like?

  27. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    Grey, made my day: Pavano, Penny, Wilson — each off FA (already had the Duch-ster late round)! Boys, go out and make Grey proud!!

    Rudy, 35 years of wedded bliss–it’s all good! (was really worried that “she” may have been the best man for you and Grey! :-) )

  28. sean says:

    @Lava: I’m sitting CJ. Sample size of one game is way too small to start him in the lion’s den. He’s gotta show me a couple more good starts before I have the confidence to start him anytime, anywhere… Otherwise, I’ll play matchups. And today is not a favorable one.

  29. john butte says:

    You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia. Only slightly less famous is this: Never go in against Grey when his mustache is on the line!

  30. Johnnie LeMaster says:

    @Lava: I really should sit him, and so should you. Unfortunately, I am irrationally itching to start him ’cause I was burned by the Liriano start yesterday. Sonofabench! But CJ will probably be on an IV drip in the clubhouse by the fourth inning.

  31. William says:

    @Everyone – Did I miss something with Jensen Lewis classified as a BUY?

    I thought Chris Perez was still the closer.

  32. dingers says:

    fellas do i really have to keep the francisco handcuff to neftali indefinitely? anyone else in this boat?

  33. shitbird says:

    Congrats Rude Bwoy Rudy.

    Fave spaceball quote/moment: After being teleported from the next room over with his lower body reversed, Mel Brooks’ character: “Why didn’t somebody tell me my ass was so big?”

    P.S. Hookers and blow is for assholes. Have fun my man.

  34. Howard says:

    I’m kind of pleased. I picked up Soto in favour of Clement and you won’t hear another word on the subject (soto voce)!

  35. Panti Jose says:

    Have fun guys! Is it worth picking up Dexter Fowler for either Stubbs or CoJack? Why is Dusty so against playing Stubbs every day?

  36. KeeblerMN says:

    This is why I love your writing:
    AYBABTU (All your base are belong to us) reference right off the bat got me smiling. Followed up with some Snoop Dogg lyrics which were required knowledge as a suburban Minnesota youth. Later you pull out a Digible Planets reference with Cool like dat followed up with a Jerry McGuire reference.
    Bravo, Huzzah and what not!
    Keep up the good work!
    Oh, and you kinda know your baseball too :-)

  37. Lava says:

    @sean: Eek. Yeah, you’re probably right.

    Pit, Atl, and ChC are better matchups for my pitchers tomorrow anyway. Cooler heads prevail!

  38. peter says:

    @simply fred: I’m staring at Pavano on the wire right now… Since I don’t have a guy I really *want* to dump, it’s not an easy pickup. My problem is that control hasn’t been Pavano’s problem in the last couple years. In 2009 and 2008, he had a 3.7:1 K:BB ratio. His bigger issue was giving up to many hits – and, specifically, home runs.

    But, then again, I’m also rostering Gio. Don’t know why I’m hanging onto him either. Apart from a few Ks/week.

  39. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    RE: Wilson @NYY tonight. Not sure if there is ANY value in “spinning” this teeny-itsy-bitsy sample size, but these his numbers last year AS A CLOSER at Yankee Stadium:

    3 games, 4.2 IP:

    3.86 ERA, 0.86 WHIP

  40. Quintero says:

    Congrats Rudy!

    Don’t put jungle cat in the hotel bathroom!

  41. joey joe joe jr shabadoo says:

    @peter: 12 team. the rest of my staff is solid. i’m not looking for a savior; that’s why i got chapman there. i’m just wondering if having an sp of penny or masterson’s caliber available for 2-start weeks is better than having a placeholder/prospect like chapman that won’t be active for another 6 weeks (at least).

  42. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @sean: I had a good giggle working at the first camera angle… the second one elevated it to a full LOL. I was at an O’s game office outing years ago and the mascot fell down the stairs. We’re all laughing when the blonde from marketing (AKA the dumbest person in the office) gives us a disapproving look and says, “You know, sometimes people forget that there’s a person inside there.” Riiiiiight… ’cause we all thought a 6 foot tall bird decided to fly into the stadium, strap on an oversized baseball cap and start entertaining the crowd.

    Congratulations, Rudy. It’s not as bad as people (like my wife) say it is.

  43. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @peter: He’s FA. I have his next matchup at home, KC (Hochevar). Given it’s early in the season, anticipate that Target Field may play to pitchers, especially if weather cold. Why not stream him?

  44. Eddy says:

    “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

    Haha, just kidding, congrats Rudy, make the most out of [email protected]sean:
    That’s hilarious. Not to mention a few days ago I saw the Tiger Woods commercial parodies and #6,#7, and #11 have to be my favorite!
    @Baron Von Vulturewins:
    No clocks either, so you can’t get tired since you won’t even KNOW what time it is!!

  45. sean says:

    I love these guys! They beat the treason charges! We had it as a “Don’t buy.” Let’s bump it up to a “Risky!!!”

  46. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @dingers: For what it’s worth, I’ve cut ties with Fail Fail and have moved on to Neftali full-time. I think he’s got the goods.

  47. peter says:

    @joey joe joe jr shabadoo: I’m in the same boat as you in one league. My thought is that if it’s a keeper league, hang onto Chapman. If not, let him go.

    @simply fred: Yeah, I think I may pick him up this afternoon. His projected schedule is very nice: vs KC this Sunday, then @KC and @Cle

  48. peter says:

    @sean: Ri-sky! Ri-sky! Ri-sky!

  49. Tom Emanski says:

    Not one of the “buy” guys are available in my 2 leagues. And I have Sean-Rod and Sizemore. No one understands me!

  50. William says:

    @Tom Emanski – How is Jensen Lewis on someone’s roster? Why is he suddenly a hot add?

  51. Eddy says:

    Sure hope the ‘Stros can keep this 2-1 lead so Lindstrom can finally save a game for me

  52. keithr says:

    i have too many pitchers and dont know wtf to do

    c. lewis

    m. adams

    do having terrible(and temporary) closers require me to hold on to mike adams and gutierrez in hopes of saves? right now i’m praying peavy/sheets go on a run so I can trade someone.

  53. Tom Emanski says:

    @William: In a 450 player league, even Jensen Lewis has a roster spot

  54. Frank Rizzo says:

    I’m honestly considering a drop of Slowey for Pavano. A healthy Pavano may be better across the board over Slowey this year.

    Good move or need to be more patient?

  55. Lava says:

    @simply fred: Interesting. He was a pretty great reliever, so I don’t doubt that most of his opposing stats are pretty decent.

    If he does well here tonight, though, that will be a huge vote of confidence for his future as a starter.

  56. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:


    Perez: 9.00 ERA, 3.00 WHIP, one loss.
    Lewis: 1.93 ERA, 1.07 ERA, one win.

    Lewis next in line.

  57. wily mo says:

    i started liriano v.BOS yesterday and now i’ve got the itch to double down on CJ @NYY tonight. if it wasn’t against CC i might really do it. why can’t it be AJ instead? CC > CJ > AJ. i just typed that into my graphing calculator and it threw a slider.

  58. Eddy says:

    @Frank Rizzo:
    I’d give each at least two more starts to make your decision. Let’s not forget that weather conditions weren’t favorable for Slowey last time out. Not to mention that (according to Razzballers, I wasn’t able to catch the game) he was getting squeezed on strike calls by the umpire.

  59. Tarasco'sSecretStash says:

    Ehh, congratulations Rudy!

  60. anon says:

    grats rudy!!

    Also – do I want any of the “add” guys over Soriano or Rios for a UTIL slot?

  61. William says:

    @simply fred – it seems like a very very speculative add. I err on the side of caution with hot setup guys who appear to be “next in line.” The list is very long on setup men who crashed when becoming closers.

    Also, isn’t Kerry Wood coming back in 2 weeks?

  62. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Don’t know if you can drop Slowey. One good start and you won’t get him back. If you can find a way to slide Pavano in some other way OK, otherwise, eh…

  63. Tom Reale says:

    @Frank Rizzo: CLE, KC, CLE coming up hold tight.

  64. William says:

    “If you can find a way to slide Pavano in some other way OK, otherwise, eh…”

    That’s what she said.

  65. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @William: Wasn’t a recommendation by me. Just an explanation. Some guys are hurting for saves. They can run him out there for anticipated good ERA and WHIP and maybe a vulture win, even if he doesn’t get the save opps. Wouldn’t expect that Lewis anything more than “getting what you can get when you can get it” short term.

  66. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @William: Will need to clean up my language… :-)

  67. AL KOHOLIC says:


  68. Tom Emanski says:

    Was just about to pick up Juan Gutierrez but got scooped!

    Someone rank these guys for holds (also considering chances of closing in future): Adams, Balfour, Wheeler, Oliver, Baez, Santos, Romo, Troncoso, Marte, Shields, Mujica.

  69. William says:

    @simply fred – point taken. I was very mystified by the Jensen add, and thought I missed something. Usually I don’t see MRs on BUY lists unless they are dominating (Neshek circa 2008), or on the very very brink of getting saves.

    I have 3 closers right now in Bell, Aardsma, and Morales… maybe when Huston Street comes back, it’ll be when Jensen starts getting SVs. Wouldn’t that be perfect timing?

  70. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @simply fred: “getting what you can get when you can get it” … OK beginning to see a theme here.

  71. peter says:

    @anon: I’d rather have Rios or Soriano. But Soriano’s on a shorter leash…

  72. @Grey: Holyfuckinshit you’re on fire today! “I will Mola Ram the Bruce right out of your team’s chest. Then I will grab a fart and Nolan Ryan it right into your skull Robin Ventura-style”

    I wonder if I can fit that into my teams Yahoo League Blast.

    Dude the whole Wiggy/McGehee family thing was off the chain.

  73. royce! says:

    I raised the HOU batting issue in a comment yesterday but mistakenly balked at grabbing Silva for a spot start. So far 7 IP, 5K, 5 H, 2 ER. Better than all of my pitchers save Sabathia this year. That’s a serious condemnation of the Astros’ offense. Gorzelanny FTW!

    Also, not only am I effing my stepsister tonight by stating Jackson v. SD, I’m also attending the game. I don’t know if I can stand the contradiction…I know I’m not telling my wife, though, cuz it would cause her to seriously doubt my ethics.

  74. The Den says:

    What do you guys think, is Liriano a sell, or hold?

  75. @Rudy: Congrats! “One of us, one of us, gabba gabba hey…”

  76. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Eddy: Not bloody likely… 2-2, Bottom 7th.

  77. john says:

    Congrats Rudy!!

    Razzhands, if you please:

    McLouth and Dotel for Bruce…which side?

  78. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    Silva on FA in my RCL. Go get him boys!

  79. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    Ha! I just realized that Lindstrom is only owned in 44.4% of ESPN leagues (down 16.7%). He’s a closer… he’s got the job… and he isn’t owned in even half the leagues! I wonder if the less-informed masses just looked at his stats and assumed he’d lost the job since there was a zero in the Saves column.

  80. DrEasy says:

    Soriano stole a base!

  81. Tom Reale says:

    @Tom Reale: 7-2 Cubs.

  82. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @john: I’d go with Bruce.

    BTW, if/when Bruce starts hitting, which nickname do you guys (and three girls) prefer… “Bruce Almighty” or “The Boss” (y’know, after Bruce Springsteen)?

  83. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Tom Reale: Booyah! I’m in desperate need of a save and I’ve got Marmol!

    @Tom Reale: Ah c’mon, man!

  84. willclarkismyhero says:

    Congrats, Rudy. I hope the next time I am in O’Shea’s they are still talking about the time a guy with an afro and his mustachioed friend came in and went on a 14-hour heater at the craps table. Have fun you crazy kids.

  85. Tom Emanski says:

    @The Den: Been going back and forth on this myself. I’ll at least wait to see his next start against Cleveland.

  86. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: In the same Marmol boat. We’ve still got a couple of innings…

  87. AL KOHOLIC says:

    Chapman pitching 5 miles down the road but i have to work,gave my ticket to my grandson,he,s fired up

  88. Tom Reale says:

    @DrEasy: had him picked off 2nd

  89. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Priceless!

  90. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    Can someone explain to me how Bourn is batting .394 and has only 1 stolen base? No, seriously, I need an explanation.

  91. Sos says:

    Congrats Rudy! Grey or anybody (including the dude that offered the trade): Carlos Lee/Vazquez for Grady/Gio? Which side?

  92. royce! says:

    @Sos: I say Grady/Gio. But I’d take Grady for Lee and Vazquez without getting Gio.

  93. PepeSilvia says:

    sweet mother of Mary, when is Carlos Lee gonna start hitting?!?!

  94. royce! says:

    Congrats to Rudy…I’ll root my heart out for your doppelganger tonight!

  95. AdamH says:

    As I sit here and read “Carlos Marmol is warming up”, and the score is 7-2, I am praying praying praying that he does not get into this game. Anyone else having the same thoughts?

  96. Sos says:

    Thanks! Would you rather have hodgepadre extroidanaire(sp?) Correia instead of Gio? So Grady/Correia for Lee/Vazquez or Grady/Gio?

  97. Nathan says:

    @Eddy: The shortest sentence in the English language has to be “Go.”, doesn’t it?

  98. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @simply fred: Not sure if that’s supposed to have a double meaning or if you’re just saying he’s been unlucky. In my (extremely limited) research, it seems like he’s stolen one base on one attempt. How does luck play into it?

    @Doc: You mean his team is always trailing? I still don’t see that as a reason to keep the brakes on a guy with 60+ SB speed. Is having a guy in scoring position a bad thing when you’re trailing?

    I’m curious because he was dropped in my main league and I could use a guy with ridiculous SB potential… but if Mills isn’t giving him the green light, he’s practically worthless.

  99. PaddyTwoTimes says:

    Grats Rudy

    “Pizza the Hut is ordering out for you”

    Also, enjoy the black guy in the desert with the giant comb..”we ain’t found shit”

    However, it could be Princess Bride when the Sicilian is giving poison. Who knows. Both excellent movies.

    And a Tom Cruise reference! Awesome.

  100. Doc says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: I get it, they just don’t like to get outs on the base paths when they are down big. He’ll come around. Probably steal some in bunches soon.

  101. PaddyTwoTimes says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: I like My Name is Bruce, with Bruce Campbell.

  102. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: Sorry, was trying to be funny: some things can’t be explained: 1) how can Happ walk 6 guys at home and not suffer consequences; 2) how does Bourn…

    Looks like the guys had more informative answers!

  103. Principal Blackman says:

    Anybody like wade davis against the red sox tonight?

  104. TheBravesWearPrado says:

    Has anyone heard anything about CarGo? I was under the impression they were deciding whether or not he was going on the DL today.

  105. Doot Doot says:

    hey Grey.
    Consider changing title to “All your Bruces are belong to us.”

    I need to open up a few spots on my roster for guys coming off the DL or maybe some Relieve pitchers like Lewis (Cle), Bedenhop?.

    I have a lot of Outfielders. Other than Crawford, soriano, not looking so great at the moment. My CI starters are Votto/Morales,Beltre and sometimes I.Stewart when K.Jonson isn’t hurting.
    Front of my rotation solid (Lincecum,C.Lee,Hanson).

    Potential drops: E.Encarnacion, Milledge, C.Jackson, Hart, Reimold, Cameron, J.Riviera, Willingham.
    C.Wilson, R.Romero, Penny, Porcelo.

    Would you drop any of the above guys for Pavano, Zito, Carlos Villanueva, Jeremy Affeldt, Jaime García, Jensen Lewis, Masterson, Rafael Betancourt.

    The FA bats are not so good, best out there at the moment, fukudome, C.Guillen, O-Dog,F.Lopez

    Thanks for any help given an sorry for the mess above.

  106. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:

    @Nathan: Not sure this is the place for a grammar discussion, but you’re sort of correct and sort of incorrect. In a direct command (such as “Go.”) you may omit the subject. However, the subject (“you”) is implied. So as it’s written, “Go.” would be the shorter sentence… but in its meaning, “You go.” would be longer.

    You can also omit the verb (as well as pretty much anything) in dialogue. For example, if a teacher asked a student what the first letter of the alphabet is and the student replied, “A.”, the student is omitting the verb (“is”) and creating a sentence that is only one letter long.

  107. @Awesomus Maximus: Yeah me too. The man’s a king. I was watching Bubba Ho-Tep the other night.

  108. AL KOHOLIC says:

    a sentence with zero letters and recognized world wide is the middle finger

  109. peter says:

    @Principal Blackman: Not especially. Between Davis’ command and Mike Cameron passing his kidney stones today, I expect the Sox offense to really flow (<– do I get a pun point for that?)

  110. Erock says:

    @Sos: I would want the Grady side.

  111. polczek5 says:

    awesome title. i haven’t even read the article yet. i just had to comment.

  112. Probable Party Starter says:

    @PaddyTwoTimes: I prefer Jay THE Bruce, Braveheart-style.

  113. Sos says:

    Gio or correia?

  114. Probable Party Starter says:

    @PaddyTwoTimes: When he starts hitting, you’ll feel like Richard Pryor in Bruce-ster’s Millions

  115. AL KOHOLIC says:

    votto not in lineup against zack duke,he is 10 for 16 against him to,

  116. Doc says:

    @Sos: I like gio’s upside more.

  117. Doc says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Yeah, that sucks. He’s sick.

  118. Eddy says:

    I got sonavabenched by Rajai Davis last night (compared to Bruce who I sat him for), so I decided I’m going to sit Bruce until I get sonavabenched by him. I don’t care if he gets 3 HRs and 10 RBI in that game, but until I get my ass burned, he’s on the bench.

  119. peter says:

    @Sos: Go with Correia, the Hodgepadre. He’s more reliable; and you don’t want a part of Gio’s next start against the Yankees.

  120. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Eddy: im about to do the same with pence,holliday sitting today also and cargo can pinch hit and should start sat,

  121. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:

    Thinking real hard about sitting Wilson tonight at NYY. On the plus side, Yankees gave up 5.33 ERA to Texas at Yankee stadium last year (CC didn’t appear). So, Rangers could score. However, Rangers gave up 7.58 ERA. Don’t think I want to test those waters (even as good as Wilson has looked). If I miss a fantastic performance, probably not as good as the bad would be from a disastrous one?

  122. Cain's Fan says:

    @Principal Blackman: I wouldn’t start W. Davis. The weather in Boston is awful, cold, on and off rain. I would say theres a 90% chance of a rain delay among other things. I would err on the side of caution with this one.

  123. Eddy says:

    Luckily I have Pence in only one league, but hey at least he got a run today no?

    Although it would’ve been beyond amazing if he hit during the time he was in the 3rd slot , prompting the Astros to use him there permanently.

    But alas, it was not meant to be.

  124. ASAOK says:

    @TheBravesWearPrado: According to rotoworld: “Carlos Gonzalez will be available off the bench on Friday and could rejoin Colorado’s lineup this weekend”

  125. Dingo says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: I’m doing the same with Grady Sizemore as well. Small sample size theater (.231 AVG vs. Buehrle) and his early-season struggles have set me up for a mad sonovabenching tonight. I can feel it.

  126. AL KOHOLIC says:

    im sitting c.j vs yanks tonight,i really like him but theres a reason they win!

  127. TheBravesWearPrado says:

    @simply fred: I’m starting Wilson mostly because my era and whip for the week are already damaged. I think the Yankees lineup is susceptible to tough lefties since they are so lefty heavy but that probably means they’ll score 5 off him instead of 8. My league uses QS so I’m just hoping for 6 innings and 3 runs.

    @ASAOK: Cool thanks for the info.

  128. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Dingo: yeah i was looking at grady real hard,hes striking out a bunch right now though

  129. Denys says:

    congrats rudy!

  130. Tom Reale says:

    @TheBravesWearPrado: 6 right-handers going tonight by my count.

  131. Brian says:

    I’m being offered Jose Reyes and Justin Duchscherer for Jorge Cantu and Jonathan Sanchez. I want to sell Cantu high, but I really don’t like the idea of gettin rid of Sanchez. Plus, if Reyes re-injures his leg he’s useless. I’m on the fence here and it’s pretty lonely… What would you do?

  132. Eddy says:

    Ron Washington told that he wouldve used Frank Frank last night to close a game because he doesn’t want to use Neftali back to back yet.

    Fail Fail owners, don’t drop him yet!

  133. john says:

    @Awesomus Maximus: Thanks.

    Here’s another one for the Razzhands:

    Would you drop Rasmus for one of these: Frenchy, D. Young, FraGu?