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Around The Lou, Paul DeJong is colloquially known as Colonel Mustard, the Land Marshall, who is both dignified and dangerous who always rolls second. Or, uh, *counts the spots in the lineup* sixth. Yesterday, Colonel Mustard (2-for-4, 3 runs, 5 RBIs) did it with a baton on the back of a miniature horse while riding through our nation’s capital. “Onward tiny chap!” The Colonel coaxed his horsie, not a pony, many people make this mistake, around the bases not once, but twice. His fourth and fifth homer-jaunts around the bases in this too-early-to-be-called-a-season season. Will the Colonel Mustard continue to *pinkie to mouth* musquerade as an All-Star General or will his dong-ability be more of a lowly private? A tiny horse, of course, can carry him to 30 homers, and a .250 average easily, and I won’t hear any neighs. My condiments to the Colonel. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?