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The Rays are Matthew McConaughey in Dazed & Confused with underpaid pre-arb rookie contract players being their high school girls. The Rays write the address a letter is going to where the return address is supposed to be, then don’t put postage on the letter so it’s “returned” to its destination. The Rays are NBC with their iconic The Hogan Family, then the Rays cut Valerie Harper, sign on Sandy Duncan and don’t miss a beat. Someone needs to fold 15 MLB teams into one team that can actually afford free agents.

So, wanna talk about luck? Or bad luck, as it were. For the first time in years, I was going to be in on Blake Snell. I drafted him already in two leagues, and was ready to draft him in more. Suddenly, the price was affordable. It was as if people had forgotten how great it is. He suddenly felt safe going into 2021 fantasy baseball drafts because of a discount. He was being drafted as the 17th pitcher off the board! Slightly even funny thinking about Snell at a discount. Not a large guffaw, but a small chuckle right before you bang your head on a cabinet door after thinking about Kevin Cash removing Snell with a 7-1 lead through 4 2/3 innings. Now, I have a feeling he will no longer be reasonably priced, after his trade to the San Diego Padres. Why he was even at a discount, well…I don’t know. Can anyone explain to me how Snell doesn’t have a 11+ K/9 and low-3 xFIP in any season? Have you seen him pitch? This is exactly the type of year when you absolutely want to own Snell, and this is coming from someone who has never wanted to own him before. When every pitcher will struggle to throw 150 IP, due to the season’s limitations or just being tired off a short-season, Snell’s 150 IP will look so good comparatively. Someone bet me $5 that I will welch on that Snell won’t be a top 15 starter next year. C’mon, you don’t even have a fake five spot?

With the trade, I expect Blake Snell to flourish, as he’s been flourishing. Maybe Jayce Tingler will even let him finish a 5th inning. Can’t flourish without a 5th inning finish. Hey, that’s good. Did I just make that up? Put that shizz on a bumper sticker, koozie, and a shirt. I’m not even going to explain to you why you should ignore his career 3.97 road ERA. It means nothing. He’ll escape seeing Fenway and Yankee Stadium, but will see Coors and the Dodgers. It’s all a wash, and his new park will do him just fine. For 2021, I’ll give Blake Snell projections of 13-6/3.12/1.18/187 in 153 IP, and he’s absolutely a number one starter. Hopefully, he stays around the 17th pitcher off the board. If not, well, at least I own him in a couple leagues already. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Luis Patino – Went the other way in the Snell trade. I’ve already given you my Luis Patino 2021 fantasy, and his projections are in that post. One thing I will say is once the dust settles, I might shine up that Patino with some new projections if it appears the Rays are going to start him in the rotation, which is my guess at this point. I’m seeing some reporting that the Rays supposedly have Josh “Is that a LOOGY, Congestion or” Fleming in their rotation, but I doubt that lasts.

Francisco Mejia – Also went to the Rays. Still believe in Mejia, but that belief is just about at Nileseyy Niles giving the peace sign. Or is that reference so obscure I’ve lost everyone like you’ve lost faith in Mejia? The Rays just signed Zunino, and, have you heard, the Rays don’t waste money. I’d be shocked if Zunino is dumped. He just got a two-million-dollar contract, that’s the equivalent to the Rays giving someone a Trout contract. For 2021, I’ll give Francisco Mejia projections of 31/8/33/.264/1 in 235 ABs, but I am intrigued.

Kohei Arihara – Right-hander from Japan was signed by the Rangers for their rotation. So, he’s a 3.15 ERA pitcher with 12 or fewer walks in 175 IP, or is every player coming out of Japan not in the mold of Miles Mikolas? From Nileseyy Niles to Miles Mikolas, and I guarantee you no one else has those two in the same write-up ever. So, this year I had a sudden realization that the Tokyo Yakult Swallows weren’t named after birds. Yakult is a beverage. It would be like calling a team, the Taco Bell Farts. Arihara played for their rival, the Ham Fighters, which I’m now realizing is a company that makes ham. Is it me or did the Japanese team owners name all their baseball teams on an empty stomach? On the Ham Fighters last year, Arihara went 3.46 ERA with a 106/30 K/BB ratio over 132 2/3 innings, so, yeah, he might be a 4.25 ERA pitcher, even in the pitchers’ park in Texas. Maybe as a late-round flyer, but I don’t have ton of confidence. For 2021, I’ll give Kohei Arihara projections of 8-10/4.17/1.22/111 in 148 IP.