Who doesn’t love sugar? Okay, a diabetic, but there’s a good chance that they loved sugar a little too much, no? How could someone not love a commodity that makes any food or drink sweeter and is used to describe “good lovin?” The thing about sugar, though, is that it is a complementary item. Granted, I used to love popping those C&H sugar cubes into my mouth. The sweetness. The way it felt when the cube melted from the saliva in my mouth. Mmmmm. Do you think I have a future as an erotic writer? Penthouse forum writer for sure. Anyways, sugar can never be a main item. No matter how you dress it up or package it. Which brings me to Lorenzo Cain.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrelton Simmons (48.9% owned – increase of 12.2%) is the No. 12 shortstop in Razzball’s Player Rater. Addison Russell (63.5% owned – decrease of 9.2%) is the No. 31 shortstop. It’s as if the names should be swapped. Russell should be 48.9% owned and Simmons should be 63.5% owned. I have the sudden urge to listen to some jams from Russell Simmons’ Def Jam Records…
Russell plays for the Cubs. Woohoo…He’s 23 years old. Yipee…He hit 21 home runs last season. Woo saaaa…Can you feel the excitement? I’m about to open up an incognito window on my computer. Hold up. Give me like 20 seconds….Sarcasm alert. Not about the incognito window thing, though. Now, I like Russell in dynasty. As mentioned above, he is young and could be a monster in a few years. But we trying to win rings like Kevin Durant now!!! Nothing has really changed with Russell in regards to batted ball profile and plate discipline. He pretty much is who he is right now. .240-ish hitter with 10-15 home runs. He also hits seventh, in front of the pitcher. As for Simmons, he’s always been a low strikeout/high contact batter. He has some pop and will probably end up with around 10- 12 home runs, but with a batting average closer to .275. The surprising thing with Simmons this season is the number of steals. So far, he’s pilfered 10 bags, after ending up with that total in 124 games last season. Stealing bases is one of the few stats that a player has more direct control over, so that’s a nice trend. In this week’s Razzball Baseball podcast, Grey touched on the value that power/speed guys have. Go listen to the pod and…LEAVE A REVIEW!!! Special things will happen. Anyways, back to Simmons. Actually, it’s more a rant against the Sociopath. Simmons is batting .180 against LHP and .305 against RHP this season. His career numbers are .268 vs RHP and .244 vs LHP. So, what does the Sociopath do? He bats Simmons 6th against righties and 2nd against lefties. To bring everything full circle, I guess it makes sense that Simmons is owned in 48.9% of leagues and Russell in 63.5%. What a world. TRASH for Russell. TREASURE for Simmons.
Here are a few others that stood out to me in this week’s add/drop list:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bear or Bull: Eduardo, Is It High Nunez?
June 13, 2017 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 10 Commentsby: Son
Grey has been touting Eduardo Nunez, for what seems like, forever. He’s also been pushing the whole Convent, Edu-Nun, an educational institute for nuns thing, for what seems like, forever, forever, ever, forever, ever. I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I’m just not feeling that, but I am the OutKast at Razzball so….
Shenanigans aside, did you know that The Convent (I’m a company man) is the No. 4 rated third baseman according to the Razzball Player Rater? The Fantasy Master Lothario knew. He can see into the future, except when it comes to a few players that shall remain nameless, for if I name them, I shall become toothless, armless, legless….you get the point. Thank goodness I’m already hairless.
Anyways, is this high noon, which Merriam-Webster defines as “the most advanced, flourishing, or creative stage or period,” for The Convent this season?
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Are We Healy Doing This?
June 8, 2017 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 23 Commentsby: Son
Ryon Healy (44.7% owned – increase of 18.3%) has hit 13 home runs in 57 games this season. In 72 games last year, Healy clubbed 13 home runs in 72 games. For those that are too lazy to use their desktop abacus, that comes out to 26 home runs in 129 games to begin Healy’s major league career. As John Hickey of The Mercury News wrote, “For the A’s, only two men have done better – the Bash Brothers. Mark McGwire hit 42 homers in his first 128 games and Jose Canseco hit 28 over the same number of games to start his Oakland career.” Yo Grey!!! Time to schedule another interview with Jose. The thing that immediately jumps out to me is the .331 BABIP. Regression, right? Well, he had a .352 BABIP last season. The projection systems have him slated for a .310-ish BABIP and .270-ish average for the remainder of the season. I’m not one to argue with the computers. It’s the same reason why I married Chinese. Just in case either take over the world, I’ve got some protection. As I continue to research Healy, the numbers look good. The contact rates are good (88.3% in the zone and 76.5% in general) and swinging strike rate is decent for a power hitter (10.9%). The chase rate of 34.2% is high (Top 30), but a far cry from the 47.1% by Corey Dickerson. Healy is mashing lefties (.408 average with five home runs), but what’s most impressive are the .346 average and 10 home runs at O.co Coliseum, which is an albatross for power. The cherry on top is that Healy plays everyday, which is sometimes worrisome with the ADD platoon nature of the A’s. TREASURE
Here are a few more players that caught my eye on the most added/dropped list for the week:
Please, blog, may I have some more?For the first seven years of his career, Elvis Andrus was a light-hitting shortstop that would provide cheap speed for fantasy teams. That Elvis has left the building. Unlike Mr. Presley, who aged into a fat slob which lowered the barriers to entry for employment as an impersonator, Mr. Andrus has become phat. For those that only know # as a hashtag, phat was synonymous with great, back in the 90’s. I still can’t believe phat was a thing.
Anyways, Andrus is the #1 shortstop in fantasy right now. He’s batting .305 with seven home runs, 34 runs scored, 32 RBI, and 14 stolen bases. The wOBA is .353 and ISO is .170.
For perspective, the ISO has been below .100 six of the last eight seasons and the season-high in home runs is eight, which occurred last year…
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Koda Glover Is A Lethal Weapon
June 1, 2017 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 8 Commentsby: Son
Danny Glover played Roger Murtaugh in the Lethal Weapon movies. Murtaugh was the stabilizing force to the maniac that was Martin Riggs, played by the maniac Mel Gibson. Was Lethal Weapon a reality show before reality shows? Was the lethal weapon in Lethal Weapon Riggs or was it like a ying and yang thing where the combination of Murtaugh and Riggs formed a lethal weapon? I’m going with the assumption that Riggs was the lethal weapon.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Cameron Maybin is best known for highlighting the package that sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Detroit Tigers back in 2007. Now, he’s just one of the dwarves at DisneyTrout.
Maybin was selected by the Tigers with the tenth overall pick in the 2005 draft. Here are some early scouting reports:
Please, blog, may I have some more?That is one of my favorite GIFs of all-time. And it just happens to be perfect for this piece. Ian Happ (29% owned – increase of 27%) was called up to the majors over the weekend. On a side note, that 2% difference in ownership has to be Prospector Ralph. Anyways, in three games Happ is 4-for-10 with three runs scored, two home runs, and four RBI. So, why am I so giddy? He’s a Cub, so you know he’s going to be an OBP monster. He’s a switch-hitter so there shouldn’t be any platoon issues. Happ has also been batting clean up. Either Mrs. Maddon is smitten with Happ or Ian has some pictures tucked away of Joe. Whatever the case may be, he’s got some semblance of trust from the manager. Javier Baez is sitting on the dugout steps pondering what he did wrong. While Happ is not known as a plus defender, I don’t think that’s going to be too much of an issue. Have you seen who’s decorating left field for the Cubs? The final piece to the puzzle is the depth chart for CF: Albert Almora Jr. and Jon Jay. Exactly. TREASURE: IT’S HAPPENING!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
I always loved pinatas at parties. You got to beat the crap out of something with a stick until candy fell like manna from the heavens. Ah, the good ole days. To make it a little more challenging, pinatas would often be swung from side to side to make it a moving target. There would also be like a million kids waiting their turn because who wouldn’t want to beat the crap out of something with a stick? You would get two, maybe three swings. I noticed that if you showed some skill and whacked it with feeling, the parents would let you do your thing. As long as you didn’t look like a psychopath. Anyways, the point is that it took time to figure out how to hit the pinata correctly. With the limited number of swings afforded, it also made it a very stressful situation. Sounds a lot like baseball…
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Scott Schebler Scalds Scrotums
May 11, 2017 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 23 Commentsby: Son
Scott Schebler (41.6% owned – increase of 13.3%) is batting .248/.322/.550 on the season with nine home runs and 20 RBI in 109 at-bats. He’s also sporting a 23% strikeout rate with an 8% walk rate. I thought Jay Bruce was on the Mets! The Reds be loving their lefty-whitey right fielders that can bop ’em out of the park. Unfortunately, they often send the crowd home unhappy like what happened after mighty Casey’s last at-bat. Me thinks that Carl Henry Lindner Jr., the owner of the Reds back in 2000, used to cry when he read Casey at the Bat as a child. It was during those times that his brain began to hatch the master plan. Bring his family’s dairy business out of the doldrums of the Great Depression. Become one of the richest men in the world so that he could buy a baseball team. Acquire a “Casey” on his team, thereby creating a parallel universe where mighty Casey does in fact not strike out. It would be in those moments when tears of joy would flow down his face, instead of the tears of sadness experienced in his youth. Lindner bought the team in 2000 and Adam Dunn, the original “Casey” was acquired in 2001. After Dunn left, Bruce took his place. So, bascially Schebler is just the most recent cog in the “Casey” legacy. Usually, I shy away from these types of players, as they are very streaky and you have to endure some rough cold streaks. With that said, he’s entrenched in the sixth spot of the Reds order, against both lefties and righties, and that power is so enticing! Also, that ballpark where he plays half his games is amazing for left-handed power to right field, which is the direction he hits to 44% of the time. Lastly, have you seen some of the pitchers in the NL Central? I imagine this is how Carl Lindner would look if he were still with us today. TREASURE (Beware: could become a donkey at any moment)
Here are a few other players that caught my eye on the most added/dropped list:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Bear or Bull: Has Aaron Hicks Figured Out the Matrix?
May 9, 2017 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball | 17 Commentsby: Son
It’s been a journey for Aaron Hicks. Not too different from the one Neo had to embark in the movie, The Matrix. When the Matrix called upon Neo, he was raw and naive. Along the way, many mistakes were made and observers debated the efficacy of his potential. Eventually, Neo figured out the Matrix and, as a result, was able to navigate seamlessly through it. Could the same be in store for Hicks?
Hicks ate the red pill and was subsequently drafted in the first round of the 2008 Major League Baseball Draft by the Minnesota Twins. Baseball America named him a Rookie All-Star and placed him as high as 19th in the top 100 prospect list. His first four years of professional baseball were spent in Rookie and Single-A. During those years, the walk rate was around 14% while the strikeout rate was around 20%. He was a .260-ish hitter and showed the ability to hit around six home runs and steal 15 bases. When he moved up to Double-A, Hicks hit .286, clubbed 13 home runs, and stole 32 bases. Was Hicks ready for the Jump Program?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Urbandictionary.com says that Souzz is the verb form of Souza, which is defined as, (noun) the unannounced general feeling in the air to engage in sexual contact, usually generated upon contact, eye contact, or sight of appearance. Yup, pretty much sums up with “relationship” with Steven Souza.
I’ve been infatuated with Souza since 2014, when he hit 18 home runs, stole 26 bases, had a .350 average, and posted a 12.8% walk rate with an 18.4% strikeout rate in Triple-A. Unfortunately, that success did not translate to the major leagues and the Souza-experience was born. Would make a hell-of-a-ride at Six Flags. Now, some injuries derailed the 2015 and 2016 seasons, but the Souza was not the same. The strikeout rate was in the mid-30s, the walk rate decreased to the single-digits, and batting average plummetted. It’s called the Big Leagues for a reason. I became relegated to the fact that the Souza would not be as fulfilling as I once dreamed about…
Please, blog, may I have some more?
