Oh man. It’s bad out here guys.

Oh Jesus, what even is an oblique?!

It’s okay little buddy, relax. Nobody knows what an oblique really is. Some kind of triangle I think. But damn they love to get injured lately, huh? I mean, c’mon we’re talking dynasty here, we’ll just wait until our competitive window opens in 2025, right? WRONG! But you better be prepared, son.

Do you think it’s bad now? Wait until AA and A ball get rolling. Not to be the bearer of bad news, predicting some massive bloodbath across the league but… I’ve seen Nicky Lopez starting in shallow redraft leagues. Poor, poor souls. Please say a prayer for your local Middle Infielder. Or better yet-

Buckle up and hit that waiver wire bucko, we’ve got leagues to win!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You click the button.

Bingo

You’ve made your pick. You feel energized, confident. You look over. Your queue is proud and strong.

I’ve got this.

Nothing can tear you down. You’ve done your research, crossed your Ts, and dotted your I’s.

Until… The next pick. One player taken from your queue is no big deal, right? You’ve still got… Ding. Ding. Ding. And just like that, your best-laid plans have vanished.

My good do these scrubs read Razzball, too?

You panic as you search the top available picks left. All your targeted prospects, all your value veterans, all hope… Gone in a flash. Even Hedbert!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Picture this.

You’re in a dark room. You don’t know how you got here. Your eyes have been sealed shut with a foul crust of dead skin and tears for so long that you labor to let in the smallest amount of light. And when the dim light of the computer monitor in front of you finally hits your tender retina, it’s like staring directly into the sun.

You compose yourself, what little of “yourself” is left. It’s coming back to you now. It’s hour 56 of your dynasty draft, isn’t it? Round 5609. The names flashing across the board no longer resemble any human language you’ve ever seen before.

Please, blog, may I have some more?