Mauledbypandas held on to first for another week, but Jack Full of Hate closed the gap to just three tenths of a point as he moved up from 11th place to second. Impressively, the Hateful Jack also has the 18th ranked team. Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. Tell me your team and league in the comments and I'll add your Razzball handle to the standings. 
Monthly Archives: May 2013
Mauledbypandas held on to first for another week, but Jack Full of Hate closed the gap to just three tenths of a point as he moved up from 11th place to second. Impressively, the Hateful Jack also has the 18th ranked team. Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. Tell me your team and league in the comments and I'll add your Razzball handle to the standings. Learn more about our 2025 Fantasy Baseball Subscriptions!
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On a scale of one to ten for most surprising starters, [player]Patrick Corbin[/player] is a one. One being the best. When you beat your high score in Mario Kart you never scream out, "I'm number ten," do you? Okay, so don't question my numbering. On a scale of one to ten for how likely it is Corbin keeps this up, it's around a 5, the number made famous by Short Circuit. Didja know before Short Circuit people would count 1, 2, 3, 4, 6? It's also why Marilyn Monroe left Joe DiMaggio. Corbin's not a 1.44 ERA pitcher, but he's not what he seemed like coming into the year either. His fastball has jumped in velocity, which has helped all of his pitches. I don't own him, which butters my grr's. I know most of you must've benched him in Coors yesterday for his 10 K, 9-inning, three-hitter gizzem, so I'll say it for you, sonavabench! Luckily, you own him for the whole season and he looks like he can be a mid-3 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 7 K-rate guy, i.e., a fantasy two to three. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
A Razz New World
May 20, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings, fantasy baseball strategy, Player Raters | 181 Commentsby: Rudy Gamble
We like baseball. We might even love baseball. But we love fantasy baseball more.
If you read this site at all, this should not be news to you. We do not pretend to be a general baseball site. We do not pretend to write like general baseball writers or general baseball fans. Our focus and point of view has been irrevocably bastardized through the tainted prism of fantasy baseball fanaticism (and the fact that we are smart asses).
Much like you, the vast majority of our baseball-related surfing is focused on day-to-day management of our fantasy baseball teams. Over the years, I shutter to think how much time that Grey and I pored through player news, game logs, player stats, etc. trying to find information that could help our teams.
[player]Jurickson Profar[/player] called up to replace The Ian Kinsler DL Experiment. I'll wait here while you go add Profar in your league. Okay, back? Good! If you're not back yet, then you're not reading this, so let me clear the air, I slept with your sister. Baseballstar Profarlactica is the safest bet from catching the prospect hype virus in the known universe. First (after all those other firsts), let's see what Scott, our prospect writer, wrote, "Profar brings legit 20-20 potential, along with .300+ AVG, and an OBP north of .350. From shortstop, that sort of production would be enormous. Here’s Grey’s Jurickson Profar fantasy. Also check out my Top 25 Prospects for 2013, where Profar came in at #15. I also slept with your sister." Damn, hope those other people still aren't back. I'd grab Profar in every league. Yes, even yours. My guess is he will hit. My 2nd guess is C. Always guess C. That advice can get you into an Ivy League school. I didn't go to one, ergo, henceforth, vis-à-vis, I had to Google whether or not Ivy League was capitalized. If he hits, Profar could be here to stay with the Rangers saying, "Yo, Profar is hitting so let's keep him and move Kinsler to the outfield. Or just put a "Hockey sucks" t-shirt on Andrus and drop him off in Winnipeg." If Profar doesn't hit, he'll be sent back down and no one will need to go to Winnipeg. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jam it or Cram it: The Bizarro World Edition
May 19, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 100 Commentsby: The Guru
Almost two months into the 2013 Major League Baseball season and things have suddenly turned into Bizarro World from the Superman comics. Those not familiar with the term please note what the scholarly website Uncyclopedia says, “Bizarro World is a situation or setting which is weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations.” Please, blog, may I have some more?
Creeper Of The Week: Eric Chavez Is Kicking It Old School
May 19, 2013 | Creeper of the Week | 112 Commentsby: Sky
Age ain't nothin but a number, baby. And speaking of numbers, what's yours? Oh you're here with friends and you're just at the bar getting their drinks? But you only have one...hello, where are you going? I knew I should've shaved my ear hair before going out tonight...and scene. I give you this painful glimpse into an aging man's world so that you might better understand this week's Creeper Of The Week. Getting old sucks. Getting wasted and passing out is no longer considered cool, it usually gets you fired. Your smoking hot girlfriend who used to go out and party with you is now your wife and wishes you'd grow up. Muscles you didn't even know you used or had begin to ache even with the slightest change to your exercise routine. You stretch and you warm up, ready to take these fools on the court out. You think you look like Black Mamba out there but in reality, you just look like Will Ferrell from Semi-Pro minus that sweet frickin' afro. Like I said, reality hits you hard bro and that definitely happened to Eric Chavez and his HOF career gone wrong. This man has pretty much lived on the DL since about 2006 and at age 35 there's no reason to think that'll stop. So with all that, why should you be interested in Eric for week 8 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season? Follow me to the second paragraph to find out and make sure to bring a walking cane...
When Is A Streak Not A Streak Anymore? *Updated*
May 19, 2013 | fantasy baseball strategy | 36 Commentsby: Jay
There was quite an interest with my recent foray into the statistical side of Major League Baseball and how we can apply it to our fantasy baseball teams. That intersect exists solely because we, as managers of our teams, are always looking for an edge. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Minor Accomplishments: Week 7
May 19, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 115 Commentsby: Scott Evans
Bear with me for a moment while I venture outside stateside baseball for a look at a marvelous moment in Korean pro ball. The always great Ben Badler of Baseball America brought this clip to my attention this past Wednesday, and you really gotta give this one a look. Outfielder Jun-Woo Jeon is the batter. His team is down two runs with a runner on first and one out in the bottom of the ninth. He recognizes the fat breaker, turns on it, and lifts it to left field. He thinks it's gone and the game tied, so he flips his bat triumphantly and does one of those cool jogging finger points toward his dugout. It's not gone. No, the ball dies at the track, and not long after, the opposition dies of laughter. This is why you never bat flip. #Scouting.
Our Razzball prospect protagonist Scott Evans is currently going over the upcoming MLB Draft and players who might have an immediate impact on your fantasy roster. Following in his footsteps, we'll be going over some lesser known names in this year’s draft that have the potential to be a winning lottery ticket further down the road.
Pauly G. is a Jersey Sure Thing
May 18, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 74 Commentsby: Dan Pants
Paul Goldschmidt went off again last night, collecting four hits with two 2-run home runs and scored four times. Awww Schmiiiidt! Goldy has been locked in at the plate lately. Over the past two weeks, he's batting .400 with 5 home runs, 12 RBI and 2 stolen bases. As a result the D-Backs sit at the top of their division, winning three straight games and seven of their last 10. Paul is currently on pace for over 40 home runs, 15 steals and 120+ RBI. Although he will likely come back down to earth some, he remains the number one first baseman on the player rater and is looking like a lock to finish in the top three. He also is the number two player overall behind only mean Jean Segura. To quote Mike Myers second worst film, "I love...Goooold." We all do, Johan van der Smut, you horribly offensive Dutch stereotype. We all do. If you read Razzball faithfully, there's a good chance you own Pauly G. on a team or two. If so, you are lovin' life right now, so enjoy this. Bask in it. Take. It. In. You earned it. I had a goldfish named Goldy but I never loved that dumb fish as much I love owning Paul Goldschmidt. So thanks Grey. Thanks Rudy. If you ever need a kidney, I'm your guy.
Here's what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:
Two-Startapalooza — Week 8
May 18, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 105 Commentsby: Scott Evans
The week 8 two-start landscape is particularly cruddy. Sure, if you've got a Kershaw- or Miller-type two-starter you're set; you're awesome. Good for you. Those of us perusing the wire for our two-starters, though, are left with mostly turds. It's really bad. We have ten dudes in the "DON'T START" tier. Our previous high in that department was six, and that week is the only other with more than three in the bottom tier. Maybe I'm just in a pessimistic mood, but I truly don't trust the bulk of the week 8 crop. Take it easy on the two-start streaming this week.
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.
Max Scherzer has heterochromia, which is a condition where one eye is a different color than the other. Here's a picture of him. Christopher Walken, Kiefer Sutherland, Mila Kunis, Kate Bosworth, to name a few, also have this condition. Doesn't this seem like something that at some point will be the "it thing?" I could totally see teenagers in the future riding their hoverboards and wearing only one colored contact. Then further down the line the government will require everyone to have different colored eyes and teenagers with the same colored eyes will rise up to overthrow the government, only to be thwarted because some counter-terrorism organization supplied the teens with marijuana and a new "awesome" video game. Actually, I'm kinda surprised this hasn't happened yet. With my deep, dark, mysterious, cock-eyed peepers, I looked into Scherzer and decided he's been the 3rd best pitcher in baseball so far, if you throw out his ERA (the 2nd best is Anibal and 4th best is Burnett). Sure, when one looks cock-eyed at things, they cherry-pick stats and throw out common sense. Still, Scherzer has been fantastic. His K-rate of 11.26 is fifth in the league. His walk rate is 24th. Besides Peavy, Scherzer is the only one in the top 24 with a 9+ K-rate and a walk rate that low. Basic math: if you strikeout people and don't walk them, great things will happen. Scherzer has been better than F-Her, only F-Her has an ERA of 1.53 and Scherzer's is at 3.98. Fantasy baseballers (<--Grand Dame Albright's term!) tend to overrate recent past results and ratios they can understand like ERA. If someone in your league thinks Scherzer is nothing but a #2 or 3 with good Ks, they're wrong as no rain. I'd pursue Scherzer quickly before his ERA turns around like a dramatic prairie dog. Anyway, here's some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
