With the the top 20 closers for 2011 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished our recap of the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. Some will feel like it came too soon, others will think let’s get 2012 under way already! Whichever camp you fall in, don’t eat cherimoya seeds, they are poisonous. This is our final look back. This is still a look back. It is not how I’d rank them for 2012 aka next year. As with the other rankings, the final rankings come from ESPN’s Player Rater. I did this so I could objectively critique MY preseason rankings to THEIRS. Their rankings for closers weigh wins when I’d just want saves, but whatevs. At least it’s unbiased. Anyway, here’s the top 20 closers for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Craig Kimbrel – There’s a theme in the top 20 closers we need to address. Where I ranked them (or didn’t rank them at all) compared to where they ended up is all over the place. Now you can either think I’m a jerkoff or you can realize how unpredictable closers are. This is why you never pay for closers. The ones that you think will be fine end up disappointing (Soria) or flat-out sucking (Broxton). Then there’s the ones that just come out of nowhere. It all comes back to SAGNOF! In my defense, I told you to draft from a tier that included Putz, Axford, Kimbrel, Storen and Chris Perez. For Kimbrel, I said, “Want a closer that can go from “Who’s Craig Kimbrel?” to “I don’t know who Craig Kimbrel is but I’m glad I drafted him?” Then you’re in luck; Craig Kimbrel is just the guy to do it.” And that’s me quoting me! Preseason Rank #16, 2011 Projections: 3-3/2.95/1.18/80, 30 saves, Final Numbers: 4-3/2.10/1.04/127, 46 saves
2. Drew Storen – It’s pretty cool how many new names are at the top of the closer year-end list. I mean, not cool like it’ll help you get laid unless you’re actually one of these closers, but cool nevertheless. Storen bumped his K-rate up to 8.84 and lowered his walk rate from 3.58 to 2.39. Not a bad season for a guy who was never named the closer. Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections: 2-5/3.00/1.25/60, 30 saves, Final Numbers: 6-3/2.75/1.02/74, 43 saves
3. John Axford – Member when K-Rod was traded to the Brewers and you started crying because Axford was going to lose his closer job? Think of all those tissues you wasted. In the preseason, I said, “I almost put Axford in my top five overall but I would like to see him do it one more year. Correction: I want to see him do it another year on all of my fantasy teams. Go after him aggressively. Could be a huge fantasy year.” Can’t make this shizz up. Well, you can, but it would be pretty easy to double check. Preseason Rank #14, 2011 Projections: 3-1/3.00/1.22/80, 32 saves, Final Numbers: 2-2/1.95/1.14/86, 46 saves
4. Mariano Rivera – Yet another year that Mo did what Mo does and I said he wouldn’t do it. I also said to avoid Bailey and Street, so I wasn’t totally crummy from being crackers. One interesting thing to note on Mariano’s line is the 1-2 record on a team that won 97 games. Shows you how predictable wins are, i.e., they’re not. Preseason Rank #10, 2011 Projections: 5-4/3.10/1.00/50, 30 saves, Final Numbers: 1-2/1.91/0.90/60, 44 saves
5. J.J. Putz – This was one of the easier calls of the preseason. As long as Putz didn’t go down to injury (ouch), he was going to have a good year. On a side note, Putz has an orange curtain on his bottom lip. You expect Carrot Top to come out from his chin and do some prop comedy. Maybe it’s just me. Preseason Rank #13, 2011 Projections: 2-4/2.70/1.15/60, 30 saves, Final Numbers: 2-2/2.17/0.91/61, 45 saves
6. Jose Valverde – Do they still give out a Rolaids Relief Man of the Year? If they do, Valverde won it this year. If they don’t give out that award anymore, they should give out a Sunglasses and Advil, Last Year Was Mad Real award. That’s what Kanye and I would name it. Preseason Rank #8, 2011 Projections: 5-2/3.00/1.18/70, 35 saves, Final Numbers: 2-4/2.24/1.19/69, 49 saves
7. Joel Hanrahan – I can tell people to draft closers from lousy teams, but I don’t know if anyone really listens that isn’t already prone to do it anyway. Hey, choir, hear me preach. Hanrahananananan was actually a bit disappointing with his Ks and was a tad lucky with his ERA and, in turn, his WHIP, but he still did more than you could’ve wanted, so you’re welcome. Preseason Rank #21, 2011 Projections: 2-4/3.95/1.25/80, 30 saves, Final Numbers: 1-4/1.83/1.05/61, 40 saves
8. Francisco Cordero – I could be yelling fire before the match is even lit here, but I feel like Cordero is becoming a wickmen though not quite a FEMA. Preseason Rank #19, 2011 Projections: 4-5/3.50/1.35/60, 40 saves, Final Numbers: 5-3/2.45/1.02/42, 37 saves
9. Heath Bell – Modifying clause, Bell has been the safest closer that has given you the most stress over the past two years. He’s not getting traded… Yes, he is!… No, he’s not!… Is too!… Is not!… I stole the cookie from the cookie jar! Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections: 3-4/2.90/1.18/85, 40 saves, Final Numbers: 3-4/2.44/1.15/51, 43 saves
10. Jonathan Papelbon – I owned Papelbon on a few teams last year so it wasn’t like I wasn’t aware of the huge WHIP and Ks season he was having. Yet, I didn’t realize he had so few saves. Only 31 saves? I know there’s no accounting for saves, but how is that even possible for a 90 win team? Without having my crack team of 100 monkeys look it up (so going off the top of my head), I have to think that’s the lowest save total for a 90 win team for a closer who had the job for the whole year. Preseason Rank #6, 2011 Projections: 5-3/2.75/1.18/75, 38 saves, Final Numbers: 4-1/2.94/0.93/87, 31 saves
11. Fernando Salas – Not only did he put together a fantastic season, but he also dealt with a dozen closer role changes depending on which way La Russa’s feathered hair blew. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 5-6/2.28/0.95/75, 24 saves
12. Ryan Madson – This from the Phils GM for 2012, “I don’t feel comfortable with the guys we have internally,” Amaro said. “If Ryan does not sign, we might have to go outside the organization. There are some people in our system who think [Justin] DeFratus or [Phillippe] Aumont can [close]; I am not convinced of that yet.” Since the Phils also said Madson can’t close to start the 2011 season, I guess Aumont or DeFratus will close in 2012. Preseason Rank #7 for Middle Relievers, 2011 Projections: 3-3/3.25/1.28/60, 18 Holds, 7 Saves, Final Numbers: 4-2/2.37/1.15/62, 32 saves
13. Kyle Farnsworth – Hmm… Only 25 saves? Maybe I do need my crack team of 100 monkeys to look up the lowest save total for a closer on a 90 win team. Then again, Farnsworth had some injuries this year and ceded to Peralta for a stretch. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 5-1/2.18/0.99/51, 25 saves
14. Brandon League – Someone should see if there’s a mathematical formula for the likelihood of saves for a losing team vs. a winning team. If someone hasn’t done this already. My monkeys have their hands full. Masturbating. Hey, it’s the offseason. Cut them some slack. Preseason Rank #5 for Middle Relievers, 2011 Projections: 4-4/4.25/1.28/60, 10 Holds, 12 Saves, Final Numbers: 1-5/2.79/1.08/45, 37 saves
15. Sergio Santos – Had a terrible September (9 ER in 8 2/3 IP), wasn’t the closer for stretches of the season (or was but wasn’t official) and had to deal with Ozzie. Still, his K-rate — I’m putting my fingers together at my mouth and blowing air kisses — muah, muah! Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 4-5/3.55/1.11/92, 30 saves
16. Jordan Walden – Well, he was no Fernando Rodney. Thankfully. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 5-5/2.98/1.24/67, 32 saves
17. Mike Adams – I contemplated leaving the Holds guys off this list and just going a little deeper on the closers. Then I contemplated changing the title to the top 20 relievers. Then I decided to do nothing and just tell you I contemplated that other shizz. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 5-4/1.47/0.79/74, 2 saves
18. Tyler Clippard – If you would’ve blindfolded me before writing this and asked who was more valuable Venters or Clippard, I would’ve said why are you blindfolding me? Can’t you just ask me? I mean, the blindfold makes it kinda weird. Are you going to tickle my feet with a feather? Oh, and I would’ve said Venters. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 3-0/1.83/0.84/104
19. Chris Perez – You could put his stat line next to the definition of a donkeycorn. Nothing spectacular, just good old fashioned valuable closing games with closer-style old fashioned stuff… Wow, I got totally lost in that sentence and didn’t know how to finish it. Preseason Rank #15, 2011 Projections: 1-4/3.10/1.16/70, 30 saves, Final Numbers: 4-7/3.32/1.21/39, 36 saves
20. Neftali Feliz – Honestly (unlike the rest of the post where I was lying), no closers really disappoint as long as they keep the job and get saves. Though if you’re one of those types with high expectations, Feliz disappointed. And I’m not just talking in the World Series. There’s always next year, Rangers! (Assuming Washington doesn’t blow the team’s salary in Vegas. With the key word being blow.) Preseason Rank #2, 2011 Projections: 5-2/2.75/1.00/90, 40 saves, Final Numbers: 2-3/2.74/1.16/54, 32 saves
