ESPN tells me the Yankees and Red Sox seasons are about to begin. I’m gonna infer it’s Opening Day for the entire league since my six month egg timer is buzzing, my closet gimp is mumbling, “Baseball time…Baseball time…” and my desktop widget of Ron Jeremy shooting fireworks over Petco is exploding. At least I think those are fireworks shooting across my computer monitor. Spring has sprung, snitches! Bask in that for a moment. Okay, moment over. Brandon Belt is going to start at first for the Giants. Ain’t that the meow’s cat? I really thought the Giants would hold off until June with Belt. With this Belt news, everyone seems to be *pinkie to mouth* panting. He’s still pretty raw in terms of his time in the high minors. Though I wouldn’t let that stop me from adding him. You take the flyer for the upside because if he pans out, he’ll be worth a lot more in name value. To go with a current 1st baseman who is around his level, between Moreland and Belt, Moreland will have better stats but Belt will have better name appeal for now. I’d give Belt the line of 60/15/70/.270/8. There’s room for more, and there’s room for a lot less. A lot less would be Belt struggling for the first month, Ross returning and Belt being demoted. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:
Jake McGee – Rays kept him for their bullpen. This shituation should be a closerousel all year until McGee wins the job. Now whether he wins the job by May or August is the pickle. I think it’s by June/July to get all hedgy on you. My over/unders are Farnsworth with 20 and McGee with 15 saves.
Kevin Gregg – The O’s said there’s no official closer, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — Gregg should get the majority of the saves. As long as he stays healthy, Uehara will get saves here and there. Or hear and their, if you’re homonym-challenged.
Brandon Allen – A fave of mine (and potentially only mine) was optioned to the D-Backs’ Triple-A affiliate, the Reno Slots. I think we see Allen at some point in the near future, but he’s not worth holding in single year leagues.
Juan Miranda – Made the team, but he’s in a platoon with Russell Branyan. The ol’ lefty/lefty platoon. Guess they can share one pair of scissors. Is there anything more frustrating than a platoon of two guys that actually would be worth something if one were the starter? Much worse than a blahtoon. George Costanza, “MUCH WORSE!”
Zack Greinke – May not return until May — hey, an almost palindrome! I originally thought he was going to miss 4 starts, so now he’s going to miss 5 to 6 starts. It’s not an arm injury, so I’m not too concerned. If you only get 26 dazzling starts from him this year, you’ll take it and like it.
Corey Hart – To the DL for a few weeks. I told you not to draft him so no one owns him anyway, right? Mmm-hmm.
Luis Castillo – Released by the Phillies. The Phillies bought Castillo thinking he was a $1 scratch-off ticket — just hoping he might be worth $10. Unfortunately, he was a scratch and sniff that smelled like turdberries.
Jack Hannahan – Perennial Carson favorite won the 3rd base job for the Indians. The best you can expect from him is he releases a puma into the clubhouse and it eats the Indians rotation. Now play ball!
A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!” It was totally sad. Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with Luis Castillo. Luis Castillo would be good for my pre-All-Star Game contest where him and Juan Pierre have a home run contest and the gopher ball-happy Rodrigo Lopez is pitching. Just think of how few back’s we’d have to hear from Berman. There’s nothing as far as fantasy goes with Castillo. Even if objects appear closer in the side view, you still can’t see Castillo’s best days. To give you an idea of how terrible he is, the Mets released him. Long story short, he’s useless in any league where there are other starting 2Bs available. This Castillo signing does spell further doom for Utley. You really can’t draft him at this point. Also, my giant ostrich head has been in the sand too long with Howard. No Utley hurts him. I’m dropping him eight spots in the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings to right behind A-Rod. I would still draft him, but you can’t expect 115 RBIs or 95 runs at this point. Well, you can, but people might start to worry about you. Anyway, here’s some more news in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – Will miss 10 days or more with shoulder inflammation. Looks like Jason LaRue’s voodoo doll is finally working. This sounds like Cueto is going to miss at least a few weeks of the season. Obviously, not a great sign, but before we take Cueto to the mattresses for getting injured we should tempurpedic our concern. It’s a long season and he had a 5+ ERA last April and you still drafted him this year. He gets better in the heat, just DL him once the Reds do.
Brian Wilson – Mild oblique strain. Well, that’s vague. Wilson says he’ll be ready for Opening Day. If he can’t go, it’ll be Romo and his masked luchador, El Machine.
J.J. Putz – His back hurtz. I’d grab David Hernandez for vulture saves. He may not get them, but you don’t want any part of anyone else in the bullpen. Namely, Juan Gutierrez. By the buh-bye, there’s a closer report coming this afternoon. You can hardly wait! No, you!
Kendry Morales – As I told you last week after deciphering clues from the interwebs, he’s starting the year on the DL. What’s that lovely horn I hear? Oh, it’s a Trumbo.
Grady Sizemore – Set to test his knee on Tuesday. Him and Utley should totally cruise for chicks together in Wal-Mart scooters.
Ryan Zimmerman – Someone who won’t be cruising for chicks is Zimmerman with a sore groin. What a bummer, man. He says he’ll be fine without many spring ABs. I’m not too concerned, for now. Zimmerman does seem like he’s going to have a steep decline in his early 30′s a’la Rolen. Hopefully, he doesn’t adopt that Rolen-esque fast home run trot that is supposed to be uber-professionalism at its finest but actually comes off even more douchey to me.
Oliver Perez – Mets released him. Here’s the world’s smallest violin. Here’s the world’s smallest violin walking seven straight hitters.
Brad Emaus – The Mets 2B audition – aka the beautiless pageant – is nearing its end. With Castillo gone and Daniel Murphy being pegged as a “utility” guy, it looks like Rule V pickup Brad Emaus will win the job. He’s got great plate discipline, which is great in OBP leagues, but he doesn’t have great power or speed. Think 10/10 if he plays the full year. There’s still a chance though that they give a lot of playing time to Luis Hernandez (no hit, all glove), Justin Turner (who was great in Northern Exposure), Murphy, or some other blech option. For full disclosure, we picked him up as a bench guy in our NL-only; his upside is that he beats our incumbent MI, Skip Schumaker.
Starlin Castro – Rudy is high on Castro, saying crazy things like he could take a huge step forward. Castro’s big spring has done nothing to dampen Rudy’s enthusiasm.
Jeff Baker – Another player Rudy’s going a bit caca-cuckoo over is Baker. Right now, he’s still nothing but an NL-Only flyer, but Joyce DeWitt’s son is in danger of not even making the team.
Devin Mesoraco – Okay, so some of these updates are because we own these players in LABR, but you need to put shizz out in the universe. That’s The Secret! Mesoraco is hitting over .400 this spring, was drafted 15th overall in 2007 and he’s the catcher of the future in Cincy. He’s worth looking at in dynasty leagues. Dusty Baker added, “I like it when my catchers’ names sound like wrestlers. Ramon Hernandez sounds impressive but no one wants to get in a steel cage with someone named Devin Mesoraco.”
J.P. Arencibia – The Jays manager, who 85% of you can’t name, said the Jose member of The Flying Molina Bros. will catch Morrow and Drabek. When I said in the rankings, Arencibia reminds me of Napoli, I was hoping it wouldn’t be his lack of playing time too. Looks like Scioscia-ism has crossed the Canadian border!
Pedro Alvarez – 19/1 K/BB rate so far this spring. People seem pretty sure about drafting Alvarez above Reynolds. I think Mini Donkey might still have some kick in him. Cust kayin’.
Charlie Morton – Awarded the fifth starter spot in Pittsburgh. There are two types of crappy pitchers: 1) The type that get hit because they have bad stuff and 2) The type that get hit because they don’t know how to use their good stuff. At least with the second type, they might figure it out. Charlie Morton is the 2nd type.
Nelson Figueroa - Currently the 5th SP on the Astros but he has the talent to be a 6th SP, 7th SP, 8th SP or even higher. If auction dollars had a face, the $1 would look like Nelson Figueroa and the $2 would be of some other pitcher laughing at the $1.
Jake Peavy – Will miss Opening Day. Do they make emoticons with tears? Oh, well, looks like Peavy’s back to usual shizz. Phil Humber is slated to take his rotation slot. Humber is from Nacogdoches (KNACK-uh-DOUGH-ches), Texas. Appropriately, he is not from mackadocious.
Justin Upton – Should be fine, but his knee is a bit sore from tripping on grass. Who is he, Tommy Chong?
The Rangers bullpen costing C.J. Wilson the win is like ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife. Maybe Frank-Frank didn’t like Wilson cutting into his save chances last year. I was skeptical of Wilson moving into the rotation. I said to myself, “Grey, you’re handsome.” Wait, wrong conversation. I remember it now. “Grey, why not start Neftali Feliz? Why they fussing with C.J. Wilson?” I didn’t have an answer and wasn’t sure why I was using the word “fussing.” It’s like when you get mail order bride emails. Wouldn’t they be email order brides? Some questions have no answers. But I’m ready to hush that fuss. C.J. Wilson has always rocked an impressive K-rate as a reliever and, if he can maintain that and his walks, he could be a huge surprise in the rotation. Am I a fan of Arlington for pitchers in the summer? Nope, but let’s get there first, shall we? Wilson could give you a K/IP and a solid just under-4 ERA. I’m buying! Oh, and welcome to all the Googlers of “I’m buying” + “mail order bride.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Taylor Teagarden – 0-for-4, but enough about the negatives. Saltymochachino is out for at least 15 days with back stiffness and it’s not like Salty was doing anything anyway. Ron Washington said Salty was only the starting catcher because “his name goes to eleven.”
Frank Francisco – 2/3 IP, 3 ER as he blew the save. As a commenter said yesterday, Frank-Frank fail-fail.
Julio Borbon – 0-for-the-season. Will be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. Your breath is bated.
Ian Kinsler – Was given another cortisone shot in his ankle. Now his ankle really won’t have any wrinkles! Wait, what? Yeah, I’m not a doctor, but this will delay Kinsler return a few more days. I’m guessing it’ll be at least two more weeks.
Aaron Hill – Sat out due to hamstring tightness. He only missed 4 games last year. His numbers last year had a lot to do with him accumulating many2 at-bats. It’s a situation that bears watching, Timothy Treadwell.
Travis Snider – 0-for-4, 3 Ks. With the way he’s going, he’ll be in the minors within two weeks.
Ronnie Belliard – 3-for-5 with a Double, Triple and Homer as he hit for The Hungry Man Cycle.
Chad Billingsley – 5 1/3 IP, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks. If I wanted to emphasize the baserunners, I would’ve listed them last. Instead, I chose to put the strikeouts last. I’m a big fan of Bills. A Billiever, if you will. However, this was an ugly start.
Paul Maholm – 6 IP, 4 ER. For those who think they’re outsmarting everyone by finding value on the Pirates staff, this start was against the Dodgers B lineup.
Hayden Penn – Why is the girl from Heroes pitching for the Pirates?
Orlando Hudson – Left the game with what appeared to be a neck injury. Could mean Nick Punto at 2nd on Friday. Shandler must be happy.
Jim Thome – 2-for-4, HR yesterday. Started at DH for the 2nd straight game. Yeah, that’s not good for Delmon Young’s playing time.
Kevin Slowey – My almost preseason Cy Young pick threw five and a third and allowed only one run. Have much love for Slowey this year.
Carlos Beltran – Set to begin a running program. A source told ESPN, “He’s a professional. His body will dictate what to do. He’s progressing great.” Here’s what I hear, “Trite statement. Statement that can be misconstrued to mean more than it does. Lie.” Then Beltran said, “Right now I don’t want to talk about when I’m going to come back if I haven’t run yet. When I run, then that can give me an idea of where I am. Right now it’s hard for me to say.” Here’s what I hear, “I’m not lying for the Mets. They can suck it.”
Luis Castillo – Will sit Friday with a calf injury. Whatever, Reyes returns Saturday!
Jeff Niemann – Was hit by a line drive in the arm, not the knee, man. Should make his next start as he’s listed as Day-to-Day. Where is this master Day-to-Day list? Is there some guy in Barbados sipping coladas keeping this list? I’d like to know.
Jon Niese – 6 IP, 3 ER, 3 Ks as he battled Nate Robertson (5 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks). Reminded me of the epic battles between Nies and Heather B.
Randy Wells – 6 IP, 8 baserunners, 1 K as sabermetricians shake their fist at his BABIP.
Marlon Byrd – Another homer yesterday. All he does is hit homers! No, really, his only two hits this year are homers.
Tyler Colvin – HR yesterday. He’s an older rookie prospect who never played Triple-A. He’s pretty deep on the depth charts and profiles as a 4th outfielder. Has some pop in his bat, but no starting job unless The Mummy asks for his knees back from Soriano.
Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper left with a boo-boo. Boo boo, indeed. He’ll be out for 2-3 days with a strained oblique. Chipper definitely keeps strained obliques in business.
Don Kelly – Started at 3B for Detroit today. For some reason, he makes me think of Adam Dunn, Mark Reynolds, and Ian Stewart. Then again, sometimes I have a hard time seeing L’s.
Miguel Cabrera – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs and a homer. Another sober day in the office for Miggy, but what’s interesting is how he’s tried to steal twice already. If he can somehow swipe 10 bags (it’s a stretch), he could be the most valuable fantasy hitter this year.
Billy Butler -1-for-2 with his third Warning Track Fly of the year. Could lead the league in WTF’s.
Daric Barton – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs. For what it’s Wuertz, Barton reminds me of Gaby Sanchez. It’s neither a compliment nor an insult.
Nolan Reimold – HR yesterday. Take that, Achilles! Pee-ay is out with an injury and Reimold’s making the most of his time. If the Orioles come to their senses, Reimold really should be the starter. If he is, all bets are off. Or maybe that’s on. Either way, he should be owned.
Brian Matusz – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 BBs. This kinda blew my mind. When I was doing the Buy/Sell that’s coming later today, I was looking at the percentage owned at the major sites. Matusz is owned in 98% of ESPN leagues. I think Matusz is talented, so don’t take this wrong way, but he will roofie you. 98% seems way too confident and tells me people could be overrating him for this year. But the mind blowing part is coming in the next blurb, follow me…
Justin Masterson – 5 IP, 6 baserunners, 1 ER, 5 Ks. Here’s what I said in my rankings, “He induces groundballs and gets strikeouts, that’s not a combo that should be scoffed at. Even if the only people that scoff at something are in Merchant-Ivory films.” And that’s me quoting me! Oh, and Masterson’s owned in 2% of ESPN leagues. That’s two. Wha…?
Kerry Wood – Will throw from 110 feet on Friday. So he’s now pitching from 2nd base? Oh-kay. Still not returning until the end of May.
Brad Penny – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 Ks. Put a straitjacket on a pitcher and throw him in a milk can and Dave Duncan will get him out. Don’t try and figure it out, just know that Penny can now be a reliable 4th fantasy starter.
Bronson Arroyo – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks. Maybe he won’t wait until the 2nd half this year to be good, but I’m not risking it. Also, Arroyo was hit by a comebacker and might miss his next start. Too bad, so sad.
Mike Sweeney – 1-for-4, 1 RBI. Dave Eggers’ favorite hitter got his first start as Seattle’s DH. He’s only DH-eligible in most leagues now and probably won’t have 1B-eligibility until end of May at the earliest. So unless you’re in a 14-team AL-only league, he’s not going to give you any value.
Doug Fister – 4 IP, 2 ER. Has there ever been a pitcher/catcher combo that warranted the ‘battery’ name more than today’s Mariner tandem of Fister-Moore?
Ichiro Suzuki/Franklin Gutierrez/Milton Bradley – It’s like having two Gold Glove outfielders and one Golden Glove outfielder.
Stealing is like borrowing until it becomes permanent. I don’t steal; it’s immoral, reprehensible and I’m really out of shape so I’d probably get caught. The fact of the matter is that these guys aren’t for everyone. They shouldn’t be, but they will give you the all coveted stat: steals. These players should only be considered if you are in need of steals after your draft, 12 teams or deeper. In H2H leagues, these players are especially important if you’re trying beat an opponent and only need a few quick “pick me up” steals.
Chris Getz – Yeah, this list is not exciting. This KC middle infielder is horrible. I have shown him love in 16-20 team leagues. With Aviles’ iffy elbow, he may be only shining light not named Yuniesky.
Kaz Matsui - On the down side of career, was there ever an up? Still has legs, which may get you 18-22 steals. With an OPS of 625, which is what Pujols slugs.
Eugenio Velez – Needs to find a spot somewhere. Maybe he sent a poison Edible Arrangement™ to Fred Lewis. 400 abs might give you 20 snatches. I like that word for SB’s.
Luis Castillo – I know what you’re saying, he is horrible, and you’re right. Sorta. Can help with steals while not demolishing BA.
Cliff Pennington – Sounds like an insurance salesman. Has the gig at short for the ‘tics. Prolly the best guy on this list so far as potential.
Coco Crisp – 450 ABs easy and a 10/20 season. It ain’t glamorous, but these steal guys rarely are.
Michael Brantley – Could actually get drafted in a 12 team. I like this kid, reminds me of The Big FraGu last year.
Eric Young – May start season on bench or in AAA, which is the place for really, really bad drinkers. Awesome speed potential. Barmes needs to fall down some stairs for him to have a shot.
Brendan Ryan – Seriously, Julio Lugo. Good potential for a MI spot league if you get a stud early. Could do worse, the Cliff Pennington of the NL.
Austin Jackson – May struggle early. Given 400 abs could go 8/15, with a ton of runs leading off.
Will Venable – Quietly will hit 6th for the Friars. Decent pop last year should carry over, who doesn’t like the son of a Max. 10/15 very attainable.
We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and the top 20 1st first basemen for 2009. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, but we’ll get to them in the next post). Because of this shallowivity (Made Up Word Of The Day!), the 2nd basemen rankings can be split up into two tiers. The guys you want and the tomato-tomahto guys. The Guys You Want’s names kinda give them away. The Tomato-Tomahto Guys are a whole group of 2nd basemen that are so close to each other in rank, it really didn’t matter which one of them you owned. At one time or another during the season, you probably dropped one of the Tomato-Tomahtos for a different Tomato-Tomahto. Everyone probably has one Tomato-Tomahto guy that they hated during the season. I have a few. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Chase Utley – He was my choice for NL MVP in the preseason. He’s going to be my 2010 NL MVP preseason selection. Probably will be my 2011 preseason NL MVP choice and maybe my pick in 2012. Then, one day when Pujols is not only hurt, but plays hurt, Utley will win it. Preseason Rank #1, 2009 Projections: 105/29/105/.295/10, Final Numbers: 112/31/93/.282/23
2. Aaron Hill – Let’s get it out of the way upfront, there was some surprises in the 2nd basemen rankings. We (or you) can sit there and say to yourself, “Gadzooks, Grey did a terrible job of ranking the 2nd basemen.” First, who says gadzooks? Are you in a comic strip? Second, no one ranked Aaron Hill, Ben Zobrist, Marco Scutaro, Adam Kennedy et al anywhere near the top fifteen coming into the season. There’s the top guys and there’s the bottom guys at MI. This is why I usually punt the middle and avoid middle infielders between rounds 7 and 15. Either get a top one, or ignore and take a flier later. More will be said on this in the offseason. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 103/36/108/.286/6
3. Robinson Cano - Someone has a terrific season the previous year (Pedroia, Hamilton) and I pulled back for 2009. A player craps the bed in the previous season (Robinson Cano) and I got excited about them for 2009. This is the story of my life with women too. Kick me in the nads and I’ll buy you steel-tipped boots. Preseason Rank #8, 2009 Projections: 80/18/85/.310/3, Final Numbers: 103/25/85/.320/5
4. Brian Roberts – My predicted numbers weren’t that far off from where he ended up. Didn’t like him in April of 2008, didn’t like him in April of 2009, I think I might like him a bit more in 2010 because he’s finally become predictable. Predictable is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. Preseason Rank #6, 2009 Projections: 105/10/50/.285/30, Final Numbers: 110/16/79/.283/30
5. Ben Zobrist – Almost surprising as his season is his Christian faith (come on, his name is screaming for a mohel). Everyone knows the good, so let’s look at the glass half empty. 17/52 and 11 steals with a .297 average in the 1st half. In the 2nd half, 10/39 in 9 more at-bats. Not terrible, just not as good. His eligibility definitely helped offset the regression. Nevertheless, it was there. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 91/27/91/.297/17
6. Ian Kinsler – It’s great to finally see what he’s capable of over an entire season. He’s a liability on average, plus speed and nearly as solid as Utley elsewhere. Preseason Rank #2, 2009 Projections: 110/23/80/.280/25, Final Numbers: 101/31/86/.253/31
7. Dustin Pedroia – This was the season I was worried about when I advised people (that’s you!) to stay away from Pedrioa. Was 2009 a terrible season? No, I never thought for one second he’d be terrible. I just didn’t buy into him as a 2nd round pick and a repeat of his MVP season. Preseason Rank #5, 2009 Projections: 110/15/75/.310/15, Final Numbers: 115/15/72/.296/20
8. Brandon Phillips – For some reason, no one seems to trust Phillips. 20/20 for three seasons straight and he gets no respect. Whatevs, I’ll keep owning him since no one else wants to. Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections: 90/25/80/.270/25, Final Numbers: 78/20/98/.276/20
9. Asdrubal Cabrera – With a swift kick to the nuts, the tomato-tomahto portion of the program begins. It didn’t really matter which of these guys you owned, they were all productive at some points during the season and yawnstipating at other times. Preseason Rank #21, 2009 Projections: 90/12/60/.275/10, Final Numbers: 81/6/68/.308/17
10. Marco Scutaro – If you would’ve told me in February there would be two Blue Jay 2nd basemen in the top 10, I would’ve punched you in the mouth. MAR…co… SCUT…aro… had a decent season for a guy that probably wasn’t even owned in your league for a third of the season and returned from Asia with pasta. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 100/12/60/.282/14
11. Adam Kennedy – Gene Rayburn, “2nd base is so shallow…” You, “How shallow is it?” Kennedy had only a good May and September and he’s ranked 11th overall. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 65/11/63/.289/20
12. Felipe Lopez - You would think a guy whose ADP was 213 and who is ranked this high would have been a huge success. You’d be dead wrong. So many times I wanted to cut the Fe-Lopezian tubes, then he’d go and have a 1-for-3 game with 1 Run and I’d hold him. Ugh, he had one of the more frustrating seasons. How does he only steal 6 bases all year?! Ryan Howard stole 8 bases! Preseason Unranked, but he did make the Cheap Alternatives post, Final Numbers: 88/9/57/.310/6
13. Jose Lopez – I usually go with speed at MI, but, if you needed power there, J. Lo turned in a perfectly respectable season. I would’ve taken his season over F. Lo any day of the week and twice on Muesday. Preseason Rank #10, 2009 Projections: 80/15/85/.280/5, Final Numbers: 69/25/96/.272/3
14. Alexei Ramirez – When you’re ranked within sneezing distance of Luis Castillo, I hope you get Swine Flu. Ramirez had one good month (May, 7 homers, 2 steals while batting .283) and 4 yawnstipating months. How does he only steal 4 bases from June 19th on? I think I’ve found my first candidate of the offseason that I won’t be drafting on any teams in 2010. No matter what stories come out of spring training. Alexei has never seen the ball this well before!Alexei gained 120 of muscle mass! Alexei can go to hell. Preseason Rank #4, 2009 Projections: 95/22/90/.285/15, Final Numbers: 71/15/68/.277/14
15. Maicer Izturis – Maicer, what goes on? Maicer… It’s funny all the people ending the season at exactly .300 or just over it. Don’t make me get Vin Scully to recount the story of how Ted Williams started both sides of a doubleheader while sitting on .400 for the season. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 74/8/65/.300/13
16. Alberto Callaspo – I liked him in the preseason, but even with that like, I couldn’t generate the enthusiasm to draft him anywhere. Let’s face it, his mother barely gets excited about his hitting. Was also mentioned in that Cheap Alternatives thingamapost, Final Numbers: 79/11/73/.300/2
17. Luis Castillo – Please don’t make me say anything about Castillo. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 77/1/40/.302/20
18. Placido Polanco – Placido Polanco is Yoda to Callaspo’s Luke. Can we just call these guys Polancallaspo? Preseason Rank #14, 2009 Projections: 90/7/55/.310/7, Final Numbers: 82/10/72/.285/7
19. Dan Uggla – Even with how awful this list is, Aramis Ramirez, with 2nd base eligibility, would not have made this list. Yes, 2nd base was deeper than 3rd base. Bring back steroids! Preseason Rank #7, 2009 Projections: 85/30/100/.255/5, Final Numbers: 84/31/90/.243/2
20. Clint Barmes – This is one of my big problems with the ESPN Player Rater (this is where these rankings come from; makes it less subjective). I’d rank Barmes as the last guy you’d want and above all the tomato-tomahtos. I don’t really mind the average, but his homers and steals were valuable. This is how I ended up with Mark Reynolds on all my teams in 2009 and how I will probably have Barmes on some 2010 teams. (This is not official yet, we’re still recapping. Barmes needs an everyday job.) Was ranked 20th as a Shortstop, 2009 Projections: 75/12/55/.270/12, Final Numbers: 69/23/76/.245/12
