ESPN tells me the Yankees and Red Sox seasons are about to begin. I’m gonna infer it’s Opening Day for the entire league since my six month egg timer is buzzing, my closet gimp is mumbling, “Baseball time…Baseball time…” and my desktop widget of Ron Jeremy shooting fireworks over Petco is exploding. At least I think those are fireworks shooting across my computer monitor. Spring has sprung, snitches! Bask in that for a moment. Okay, moment over. Brandon Belt is going to start at first for the Giants. Ain’t that the meow’s cat? I really thought the Giants would hold off until June with Belt. With this Belt news, everyone seems to be *pinkie to mouth* panting. He’s still pretty raw in terms of his time in the high minors. Though I wouldn’t let that stop me from adding him. You take the flyer for the upside because if he pans out, he’ll be worth a lot more in name value. To go with a current 1st baseman who is around his level, between Moreland and Belt, Moreland will have better stats but Belt will have better name appeal for now. I’d give Belt the line of 60/15/70/.270/8. There’s room for more, and there’s room for a lot less. A lot less would be Belt struggling for the first month, Ross returning and Belt being demoted. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball:
Jake McGee – Rays kept him for their bullpen. This shituation should be a closerousel all year until McGee wins the job. Now whether he wins the job by May or August is the pickle. I think it’s by June/July to get all hedgy on you. My over/unders are Farnsworth with 20 and McGee with 15 saves. Please, blog, may I have some more?
A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!” It was totally sad. Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with Luis Castillo. Luis Castillo would be good for my pre-All-Star Game contest where him and Juan Pierre have a home run contest and the gopher ball-happy Rodrigo Lopez is pitching. Just think of how few back’s we’d have to hear from Berman. There’s nothing as far as fantasy goes with Castillo. Even if objects appear closer in the side view, you still can’t see Castillo’s best days. To give you an idea of how terrible he is, the Mets released him. Long story short, he’s useless in any league where there are other starting 2Bs available. This Castillo signing does spell further doom for Utley. You really can’t draft him at this point. Also, my giant ostrich head has been in the sand too long with Howard. No Utley hurts him. I’m dropping him eight spots in the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings to right behind A-Rod. I would still draft him, but you can’t expect 115 RBIs or 95 runs at this point. Well, you can, but people might start to worry about you. Anyway, here’s some more news in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – Will miss 10 days or more with shoulder inflammation. Looks like Jason LaRue’s voodoo doll is finally working. This sounds like Cueto is going to miss at least a few weeks of the season. Obviously, not a great sign, but before we take Cueto to the mattresses for getting injured we should tempurpedic our concern. It’s a long season and he had a 5+ ERA last April and you still drafted him this year. He gets better in the heat, just DL him once the Reds do. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Rangers bullpen costing C.J. Wilson the win is like ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife. Maybe Frank-Frank didn’t like Wilson cutting into his save chances last year. I was skeptical of Wilson moving into the rotation. I said to myself, “Grey, you’re handsome.” Wait, wrong conversation. I remember it now. “Grey, why not start Neftali Feliz? Why they fussing with C.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stealing is like borrowing until it becomes permanent. I don’t steal; it’s immoral, reprehensible and I’m really out of shape so I’d probably get caught. The fact of the matter is that these guys aren’t for everyone. They shouldn’t be, but they will give you the all coveted stat: steals. These players should only be considered if you are in need of steals after your draft, 12 teams or deeper. In H2H leagues, these players are especially important if you’re trying beat an opponent and only need a few quick “pick me up” steals. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and the top 20 1st first basemen for 2009. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, but we’ll get to them in the next post). Because of this shallowivity (Made Up Word Of The Day!), the 2nd basemen rankings can be split up into two tiers. The guys you want and the tomato-tomahto guys. The Guys You Want’s names kinda give them away. The Tomato-Tomahto Guys are a whole group of 2nd basemen that are so close to each other in rank, it really didn’t matter which one of them you owned. At one time or another during the season, you probably dropped one of the Tomato-Tomahtos for a different Tomato-Tomahto. Everyone probably has one Tomato-Tomahto guy that they hated during the season. I have a few. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry, but I’m going to open the vent for a millisecond. Let’s go back to Stupid May Grey. I was a point or two in front in one of my leagues, had a solid outfield of Adam Dunn, Carlos Quentin/Beltran and Rasmus. I was within striking distance in steals and the news just came out that Jose Reyes would miss a few days, but avoid the DL. I traded Dunn and Theriot for Reyes. THE NEWS LIED!!! I’ve filled in with Beckham for Theriot so no great loss there, but my outfield’s been shambles since — currently rocking Luke Scott, Fukudome, Teahan and the corpse of Carlos Quentin. This is all thanks to Jose Reyes. I know, this is the world’s smallest violin eating a burrito with a side of tears. BTW, Jose Reyes is probably out for the season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Luis Castillo – Injured himself walking into the Mets cemetery dugout. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Felipe Lopez was traded to the Brewers yesterday. This further cements Casey McGehee’s backup/utility/schmohawk MI behind door number 3 role. McGehee was a Sell on Friday and someone in the Milwaukee brass obviously read that. Felipe Lopez will prolly bat leadoff and primarily play 2nd base. He might get a few more Runs, but his value pretty much stays the same. Right now, Lopez has a 6/6 line on the year. This will put him in line for the middle infielder that everyone looks at late in next year’s drafts and thinks, “12/12 on the year? I’ll take that at my MI spot.” Then by June you’re thinking about how yawnstipating it is. I was as guilty as anyone in the preseason thinking Lopez had a 20/20 season in him and, at the age of 29, maybe he does, but it sure doesn’t seem like it’s coming this year. Going to the Diamondbacks were Cole Gillespie and Roque Mercedes, who were both featured prominently in Buena Vista Social Club. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Cla Meredith – The groundball pitcher, Meredith, went from the Padres to the Orioles for Oscar Salazar, the groundball hitter. Let the trades begin! Meredith now becomes the go-to Cla in Baltimore replacing Senator Clay Davis. I have to get one guy out in the 8th inning? Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. So in this installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers we’re going to look at some 2nd basemen numbers and see if we can figure out why one is touted more than the other. BTW, this is the first installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, I’m only acting like I’ve done it before because I’m gooftarded. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cliff Lee threw nine innings of shutout ball to lower his ERA to 0.67. Seriously, he’s not Bob Gibson. He wasn’t even the best pitcher in his game last night. Shaun Marcum got him there. If someone’s buying into Lee’s early season performance, can you command a high offensive guy in a trade? Please, blog, may I have some more?