Schadenfreude has me tuned to The Pickup Artist every Sunday night. C’mon, Simeon, neg the target! Schadenfreude had me floating on a cloud for two days last week after I saw pictures from an old high school buddy’s wedding. He got fat and bald! Ha! I’m in shape and I have my hair! So schadenfreude should have me thrilled to see Utley with an injury. Unfortunately, Chase Utley is different. Chase’s injury leaves me with no joy. You know how you use words when you’re writing that you would never say in real life? Well, I’m unabashedly a fan of Chase Utley, and I don’t think I’ve ever said “unabashedly” in real life. This Buick is unabashedly economical! But that’s how much I like Utley, I can’t express my love for him in words I normally use. Is this because I know Utley loves him some hookers? That can’t hurt, but it’s more than that. It’s more than his slicked-back, I’m-Tom-Cruise-in-The-Color-of-Money douchebag hair and his cooler-than-Eckstein hustle. It’s… Maybe it’s his love for hookers. Either way, his injury could have him out until June of 2009. If you’re keeping him with a price tag higher than $25, you really need to reevaluate your Chase Utley keeper situation, right? Well, when he broke his hand in 2007, he bounced back quicker than anyone thought was possible. Can he do the same with this hip injury? He’s got the mettle. (There I go again using a word I would never use in everyday conversation.)
Hey, yo, Bo knows this and Bo knows that, but Bo don’t know Jack because Bo don’t know when Utley’s going to be back… So yo, yo, what’s the best case scenario? Everyone seems to think the injury to Chase’s hip will keep him out of any baseball-related activities until at least mid- to late-March aka the end of 2009 Spring Training. Let’s give him two weeks later to be safe. Then he needs at least two weeks to get up to speed. That means we’ll see Utley at the beginning of May at the earliest. This wouldn’t kill Utley’s production for 2009, but it might hurt the perception of his value in 2009. So, for the first time in a while, Utley could actually come as a bargain. I imagine he’ll fall to the late second or third rounds of early 2009 drafts. If you’re not drafting until March, then there’s a good chance we’ll have a better idea when exactly Utley will return and his value will either rise or fall. Right now, I want Utley in the second round. Remember in the preseason of 2008 when ‘perts were comparing Pujols to Jim Abbott? Remember what that did to his draft value? Yeah, and he just won the NL MVP. For keepers, it depends on your situation, but I’d still look to hold onto Utley for 2009. He’ll still give you more than 99% of the other 2nd basemen, even if he misses a month. Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:
KEEP
Carlos Marmol – When I went over the Gregg trade for fantasy, I mentioned that I thought Gregg might become the closer because Piniella might pull some boneheaded “experience matters” maneuver. That’s not to say Marmol won’t have value or won’t get plenty of saves, whether he has the job officially or not. Don’t forget, Gregg is garbage. Even with Wood admirably holding down the closer job in Chicago last year, Marmol still came in 13th on the list of top 20 closers for 2008.
DON’T KEEP
Joe Saunders – If keeping Saunders causes you to have an erection longer than thirty seconds, you should see a doctor.
