We (the royal “we”) had a week off from this series, mostly because of the content overload last weekend. What a time to be alive! It’s no secret that we’ve had a great influx of content this season, some have been welcomed with open arms, and some haven’t. The circle of writing, if you will. But because there’s so much content, our goal with this series is to highlight, in an almost zen-like TL;DR summary, what exactly happened this past week in Razzball. You may ask yourself why it’s “in Razzball” and not “on Razzball” and the answer to that question is, would you rather want to be on something or in something? Don’t answer that actually, pretty sure that’s how we lost Tehol…

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week one AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One week down, so many more to go. I could look up the actual number of weeks left, but the payoff-to-effort ratio was too damn high. Which is why I’m currently single as well. Yeah, that’s exactly why. Plus, based on the old adage that time flies when you’re having fun, with my Padres starting 0-3, scoring zero runs and allowing 25, I’d say the season has bout 897 weeks left in it. Sure, that’s a rough estimate, but based on my own mathematical skills and experiencing the atrocities to the soul and mind by being a San Diego sports fan, 897 seems pretty accurate. But enough about my masochistic ways, we’re here to breakdown the wonderful world of Razz and highlight what exactly went down this week…

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week one AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ah yes, so we meet again… wait, did we actually formally meet? I mean, technically, we’re meeting again, this is the third year we’ve done this… but did we really meet? Of course I’m an existential crisis waiting to happen, but that’s only because clinical depression requires so much work. I mean, I’d rather jog than emo, ya know? But back to where we started, this is your (and our I suppose) official 2016 Razzball picks. Or selections. Or whatever nomenclature you prefer. I guess whatever it takes for me not to force you to read word “nomenclature” over and over again. We do this because, frankly, we just can’t write about everyone and everything that we love or hate. I mean, we’re talking about 853 players here (source). And so this is the quick and easy “viewer-friendly” version that allows you to quickly see our likes/dislikes/predictions for all of you to promptly point and giggle at. And for added humor, here are last season’s picks, with the bonus value of us again being able to pick on Rudy for choosing Kris Bryant as his sleeper. I’m assuming he thought Bryant was just sleepy and needed a nap, but you might want to ask him about it. Regardless, here are your (and our!) Official 2016 Razzball Picks!

Ever wanted to have a Razzball Podcast devoted to Game of Thrones? No? Oh. Never mind then. But for those of you with an open mind, we have just that for you. Check out our very first episode here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Something dawned on me the other day while partaking in the annual CBS Expert Auction League run by Scott White (which I’ll be recapping later in the week), and it’s this: Evan Longoria is readily available for the taking this year. This was also confirmed by the fact that I’ve netted him in several RCLs (you can still join a league here!) pretty late as well, and really, the only reason that I ran into him at all is because I was looking for Chase Headley for my eventual bottom-feeding phase of the draft. How Longoria has ruined everything that I know and love! I should admit, Fantasy Baseball has probably moved behind Fantasy Football when it comes to my priorities, and seeing as there is only so much real estate in my head, it could also be fair to say that I haven’t kept myself up to speed with a lot of the everyday minutiae of Major League Baseball. So in the drafts where I was able to net Longoria pretty late, each time I would glance at his stat page and try to figure out what was so wrong with him before selecting him. And, spoiler-alert! I couldn’t really find anything glaring. No injury, no erosion of skills, etc. Obviously, there isn’t much that can glare back at you in a window of a minute-and-a-half (in this case, with several drafts, multiple minute-and-a-halves, which, coincidentally, is how I also describe my love-making) from a player page, so I wanted to take this journey of discovery and figure out exactly why Evan Longoria has fallen out of favor, and quite possibly find some kind of redeeming quality that confirms my value-pick will actually bring some sort of “value”. Or I’ll just find out that I totally effed all of my teams by drafting a dud. What an adventure! (In other words, my Alka Seltzer is on standby…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

GOTrazzRCLdraftComing

Actually, a few have already happened (and we’ll talk about them a bit after the jump), but, just like the title alludes to, the table is set, the forks and spoons are in their right place, and hopefully there’s food ready and on the way. In terms of the RCL universe (since I’m hungry and if there are any more food metaphors, I’ll eventually end up eating my monitor), the “league” has taken shape and drafts are about to begin. (But that doesn’t mean you still can’t create and join your choice of RCLs!) And, I want to touch on this: when I say “league”, I mean league, not leagues. Because ef pluralization… I mean, what has it ever done for me? Regardless, you have to remember, this is one complete universal league. The Milky Way of Fantasy Baseball if you will, including Mike Trout, Saturn, and of course, Uranus. Don’t roll your eyes, you knew it was coming. I only mention this (not Uranus), because as teams fall out of contention later in the season, owners will begin to pay less and less attention to their roster, and soon, you’ll have a 12-team league that feels like a five-team league. This is actually quite common in free-to-play leagues and perfectly normal for our specific formats, so don’t feel scorned, abandoned, or betrayed. These owners aren’t there to entertain you, only themselves. I mean, that’s why I write, it’s only to entertain myself. And my mother. You guys are the crazy ones reading this. And sure, at the dawn of the season, everyone feels excited, bashful hope abound. Puppies and ice cream everywhere! But as the season moves past the All-Star break, you have to remember that you aren’t necessarily playing against your 12-team league. No, you are playing against 1,000+ teams in one universal league. For some neat prizes I might add, and most importantly, ultimate bragging rights. So don’t feel alone. Enjoy the long journey. Participate as best you can. Be one with the fantasy baseballs (and Uranus). I guess that’s my last bit of advice as the RCL Updates will now be handled by Matt Truss. He will be your in-season storyteller, and starting next week, he’ll begin to tell your story. The RCL story. And I can’t wait. (I’m talking about eating…)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

uncle_grey

Welcome to another season of the Razzball Commenter Leagues! After typing that, I now know why we abbreviate that shiitake mushroom into R-C-L. I’m out of breath and burned 89 calories just from typing that out, and that doesn’t even include trying to figure why I always used to spell it ‘commentator’. Apparently, I added more vowels than I needed.  First world writer problems. Anyhow, let’s get to your first question. No, I’m not J-FOH. He’ll be around during the season doing different things to different people. It’ll be legal. I think. And no, I’m not even VinWins, who has been known to chime in from time to time and provide us with a whole bunch of numbers because math is hard. Heck, I’m not even VinLoses, who, interesting story, is actually the cousin of Vin’s mother’s brother’s second cousin’s friend of a friend. TOO INTERESTING. And heck, just to add one more into the mix, I’m not even Matt Truss, who’ll be taking the RCL reins after you and I have had our time together. And what a time it’ll be! (This may not be 100% accurate.) Regardless, I’m Jay, and I’m here to help launch the most important fantasy story out there this season, and that is the story of YOUR 2016 Razzball Commenter League…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And it wasn’t as dark as I expected. A little more mathy and computery I suppose… then again, I don’t really understand that stuff any how, so it might as well be dark and wizardry. If you hadn’t guessed from the title, Rudy joined me on the Pod to go over baseball thing-a-ma-jigs. We touched on the Mike Trout and Bryce Harper conundrum that Grey and I discussed last week, the future of Erasmo Ramirez and Jackie Bradley Jr., and made sure to complain a bit about my Padres and Hanley Ramirez’s defensive prowess. In that he has none. Dee Gordon and Billy Hamilton were touched on, and, as the title suggests, I went into the mind of Rudy to explore how Razzball’s DFSbot had it’s most accurate month in July and how exactly these tools can help win your leagues. We winded down the show talking about how Grey, Rudy, and myself are doing in all the expert leagues we are partaking in this year (Grey and Rudy in Tout, LABR, NFBC, CBS AL-Only, and my team in the CBS Auction.)

J.B. and Grey make their return next week, so until then, enjoy the show!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

giphy

Well, if you like a podcast that talks about everything, then this is the show for you. Grey and I cover (takes a deep breath) J.B.’s impending wedding, the wonders of Philadelphia and New Jersey, segues (both the transitional definition and actual mobility device), the new movie: Straight Outta Compton, micro-ing stuff, Fantasy Football RCL’s opening up soon, and our mothers. Somewhere in between all of those things, yes, I can confirm, baseball was talked about. A little. Alright, a lot, let’s just say we fit everything AND the proverbial kitchen sink in this shin dig, including on where Bryce Harper stands compared to Mike Trout for next season, Michael Taylor and Billy Hamilton’s batting averages and the toll they take on their counting stats, Alex Wood’s struggles this year, and some tips on how to close the gap or stay atop the standings as the baseball season goes into it’s last month. Enjoy!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Looks guys. There's where all my skills as a player went. Floated away, like a cloud...

Look guys. There’s where all my skills as a player went. Floated away, like a cloud…

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these round-ups, and to be honest, hanging out over at our Fantasy Football site (Football is almost here!), I’m not even sure if I remember what baseball is or how it works. However, looking over the some of the games last night, I noticed that my Padres are 55-61, good for second-to-last place. So things haven’t changed at all I suppose. Oh, wait, the Astros are 63-53 and are in first place? Okay, so let me redefine that. Some things change, but nothing changes when it comes to things I like. Yeah, sounds about right. Alright, alright, yes, Matt Kemp did hit for the cycle, the first one ever in Padres history (going 4/5, 1 HR, 4 RBI, 2 R), which I guess is okay… Look, it’s impressive, no doubt, but all I’m saying is: it’s about time? I mean, to be honest, I’m not sure if I was more impressed with Melvin Upton Jr. managing to get one hit out of four tries. Actually, yes, I’m way more impressed with that. Okay, yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m just being salty at their entire season. Admission is the first sign of recovery folks. Regardless, let’s get this show on the road.

Here’s what else I saw from yesterday’s games…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well, it’s August, and we’re fast approaching the end of another baseball season. We’re not quite there yet, and with little over a month left in the season, those of you who are in the top-half of your respective leagues, hey, anything can happen. There are such things as miraculous runs, so don’t give up yet. For those of you lagging in the standings, it’s only natural to start looking at what’s next. For the die-hards, fantasy baseball never ends, very true. There is no losing. Only learning. Which still sounds like losing, but whatever. But for those of you who need a breather, why not (shameless plug alert) try fantasy football? Over in my neck of the woods, we have a beginners guide if you’ve never played, a draft kit to help you prepare, and my charming self. That last reason should have closed the deal. Maybe.

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week 18 AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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