Jimmy Rollins hits the DL. So there goes one of your top two picks. Yeah, that’s no fun. If you didn’t draft him, you’re smiling pretty wide today. Not because one of your leaguemates is suffering (okay, maybe that’s part of the fun). No, you’re smiling because you’re anticipating what I’m about to tell you. There may not be a better buying opportunity on Rollins the entire season. Buy now! Trade for Rollins. Get him. Swindle, people. Don’t wait a week until he’s about to come back. Don’t trade Hanley Ramirez for him; that’s just dopey. No, buy low on Rollins. Know that the ankle injury may linger for a little while, but it’s only April. If you can trade for Rollins offering some package that would have never worked two weeks ago, then you’re still getting a premiere shortstop who will be hitting in front of Utley and Howard all season. In the beginning of the season I had Rollins’s projections at 130/22/70/35/.290, I’d scale that to 110/18/55/22/.290 — so, I guess the question to you is, how much do you want those numbers? If you drafted Alex Rodriguez, you’re not getting much sleep tonight. Arod injured his right quad in Sunday’s game. Arod has a lot of positives going for him, durability is one. I think he’ll be just fine. Sit tight.
Frank Thomas – Hater Bell pointed out how Karabell was a part-mental patient, part-Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer when he called Frank Thomas a big 2008 sleeper. Yeah, it didn’t make any sense in March and still doesn’t, but whatever he’s ESPN’s top analyst, ya’ll.
Mark Lowe – I hope you’re not even bothering with this mess anymore. Putz should be back this Tuesday. Don’t bother with the fill-ins.
Rafael Soriano – He still can’t throw without pain. I think he might be out a month at least. Plan accordingly.
Chipper Jones – I should’ve had WebMd sponsor today’s post. Of course he’s hurt. The guy gets hurt on a base on balls. You know that though.
Edwin Encarnacion – (His last name’s spelling is bothering me. Second “a” or no second “a.” If anyone can get a message to Edwin and ask him, mucho gracias en advancemiento.) Hit two home runs on Sunday. I have him on a lot of teams. I hope this is the beginnings of a hot streak.
Carlos Ruiz – Or as he will now be known, Chuck Ruiz. As in chuck him to the waiver wire. Go Doumit, Mathis, Napoli, etc. It’s three weeks; Chuck Ruiz is being abandoned on my teams. He’ll be on the waiver wire, we can go back later if he starts to hit.
Adam Dunn – If anyone’s worried he’s going to hit under .200 for the season, I’d trade for him in a second.
Scott Baker – Going into the season, I pointed out to all of youse in 143.2 innings his K/BB was 102/29. So far this year, it’s 20/4. That’s really good.
Eric Gagne – Fatty-No-Roids got hit. He was used four straight days, so it’s not anymore of a harbinger than the whole injury-prone thing. The Brewers really, really want him to succeed, so know that as Riske sits on your staff.
Jair Jurrjens – I’m assuming after all of the times I’ve mentioned Jurrjens, you’ve already picked him up. If you haven’t, you should. Even when he lost this year, he looked good.
Milton Bradley – He hit a home run off Wakefield today. Whatever, just yesterday he was sitting with a sore knee.
Paul Konerko – He was actually dropped in one of my ‘pert leagues. I don’t understand that. It’s still very early in the season. I’m going to try and get him off of waivers, but since all the other ‘perts read this, I probably won’t get him. So why say anything? If you have him, bench him, but don’t drop him. It’s still early.