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I’ll admit that I rarely write about pitchers, which may not come as a surprise if you knew my long and troubled past. Many years ago, I had a strong affinity for many pitchers on my favorite team (rhymes with Drew Stubbs). Unfortunately the coach – let’s call him either “D. Baker” or “Dusty B.” – was bent on crushing my hopes. But for you, my favorite readers, I will temporarily set aside my shattered dreams to review how 2013 “OPS against” views different pitching staffs. I’ll also include WHIP and BB/9 because I’m just that generous (don’t forget humble!). Anyway, here is the list of the worst pitching staffs:

The Worst Teams

Houston Astros: .812 OPS, 1.51 WHIP, 3.82 BB/9

I’m glad that this helps justify the “stream everything against the Astros” philosophy. Somewhere, Yu Darvish agrees.

Toronto Blue Jays: .764 OPS, 1.37 WHIP, 3.19 BB/9

Now I’m not saying to stream hitters against each of these teams without any thought, but it could factor into your decision-making process. Although I didn’t expect to see the Blue Jays here.

Minnesota Twins: .759 OPS, 1.40 WHIP, 2.86 BB/9

You should obviously check to see who your hitters would face before streaming against a team. No need to do this for the Twins.

Philadelphia Phillies: .750 OPS, 1.37 WHIP, 3.06 BB/9

Remember when these guys had the best pitching in the league? Me either. I do have a really short-term memory though.

Baltimore Orioles: .749 OPS, 1.32 WHIP, 2.97 BB/9

Where was I? Ah yes… a little bird told me that the Orioles move their fences in when Chris Davis bats, but occasionally forget to bring them back out before their opponent bats. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger pigeon.

Colorado Rockies: .749 OPS, 1.39 WHIP, 3.04 BB/9

Look around. See all those surprised people? They’re faking it.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: .740 OPS, 1.37 WHIP, 3.22 BB/9

Despite Mike Trout’s best efforts to save his team in every aspect of the game, the Angels have had mediocre pitching. And they didn’t even let Carlos Quentin get to their part of Los Angeles (of Anaheim)!

Seattle Mariners: .739 OPS, 1.31 WHIP, 2.73 BB/9

Their pitchers actually have a fantastic BB/9. Maybe bringing in the fences really did have an effect?

San Diego Padres: .734 OPS, 1.35 WHIP, 3.30 BB/9

Repeat what I just said for the Mariners and replace the word “actually” with the word “don’t.”

Boston Red Sox: .730 OPS, 1.34 WHIP, 3.35 BB/9

This probably doesn’t surprise Sawx fans. Does it?

Bonus! Because I’m so fond of you, here are the best pitching staffs.

The Best Teams

Pittsburgh Pirates: 646 OPS, 1.21 WHIP, 3.23 BB/9

A surprisingly mediocre BB/9, despite the league’s lowest OPS. So they are putting runners on base, but their great defense and pitching strands the runners? I was surprised to see them this high, but it does feel like they can turn around any mediocre pitcher.

Detroit Tigers: .667 OPS, 1.21 WHIP, 2.68 BB/9

Imagine if they had a decent defense…

Atlanta Braves: .667 OPS, 1.18 WHIP, 2.57 BB/9

They have the best WHIP in the league. Best Upton brothers in the league too, but maybe I’m just biased against Cracker Jack vendors.

St. Louis Cardinals: .675 OPS, 1.24 WHIP, 2.77 BB/9

Now I’m not saying to avoid streaming hitters against these teams, but I’d prefer to only do it if the ballpark and starter were enticing.

Oakland Athletics: .679 OPS, 1.20 WHIP, 2.53 BB/9

They have the lowest BB/9 in the league. Moneyball Part 2: Saving your pitches for movie directors.

Tom Jacks is sporadically on Twitter @votetomjacks