No Whammies!, Week 6: (:)

According to the internet, a black hole forms when “any object reaches a certain critical density, and its gravity causes it to collapse to an almost infinitely small pinpoint.” We almost experienced such an event this past week when…

The internet almost broke from the amount of tweets and likes. The earth almost crumbled from the weight and time it took Colon to run around the bases. The jet stream was altered by the jiggles caused by Colon’s stomach. The euphoria and joy made the Grinch like Christmas. It’s curious that there were few mentions of PEDs. I mean, he did get suspended for 50 games in 2012 due to PED use and he just hit his first career homerun at the ripe old age of 42. I’m just saying. Anyways, I’m not here to be a pooper. I loved it. It was fantastic. Plus, there’s always this.

Everything is all good after that. That gives him a Get Out of Jail card and Pass Go card for life. Prince, RIP, changed his name to a symbol. Bartolo has reached that level now. He shall be known as (:). On a different note, doesn’t everything sound better when broadcasted in spanish? It makes soccer more awesome and we saw what it did for Colon’s moment. Porn? I have no doubt.

If you are new to this series, I highlight a few players that performed well the past week. If I like them, Obama gonna make it rain. If I do not like them, they get a whammy. If you are not familiar with whammies, then check out old episodes of Press Your Luck.

• Bartolo Colon (SP-New York Mets) – Overshadowed by his stomach and homerun is the fact that he pitched well last week. Eight innings, seven hits, zero earned runs, and seven strikeouts against the Braves. 6 2/3 innings, six hits, three earned runs, one walk, and five strikeouts against the Padres. Now, remember that the Padres and Braves rank 29th and 30th in OPS against right-handed pitching. With that said, he has a 2.82 ERA, 1.12 WHIP with 33 strikeouts in 38 1/3 innings on the year. The best stat is that he’s only walked four batters all season. Now, some regression is coming. His LOB% is at 82.9, while his career mark is around 70%. The one interesting thing I noticed was that Colon is using his two-seam fastball at a career-high 60.5% rate. We know who Colon is, so there’s limited upside, but he can still be a valuable fantasy asset at the back of your rotation. He won’t beat himself and, if he does get suspended for PEDs, it’s no big deal as his acquisition cost was minimal.

• Aaron Hill (2B/3B-Milwaukee Brewers) – Hitting three home runs with seven RBI in one game will get folks talking about you. If you have any inclination of picking up Hill, don’t go chasing waterfalls. Prior to the monster game, Hill was slashing .224/.266/.282 with one home run and eight RBI. He’s 34 years old and hasn’t been good since 2012. Sticking with the TLC theme, if you add Hill then this is how you are going to sound at season’s end. If you don’t get the TLC reference, then you missed out on some good times. In honor of his three home run game, Hill enters No Whammies! fame with the first ever three whammy designation.

 
• Fernando Rodney (RP-San Diego Padres) – He gets no respect. He wears his hat to the side, shoots imaginary arrows into the sky, is the closer for the San Diego Padres, and his last name is Rodney. He has also blown 57 saves in his career. Ok, maybe he doesn’t deserve it. His streaks of implosions have been epic. Message boards have dedicated thousands of pages to the hatred of Rodney and the saves category in general. With that said, he’s had two seasons in which he saved 48 games, in 2012 and 2014. Don’t tell me this is an “even year” thing like the San Francisco Giants have going on. So here’s the good with Rodney: He still throws hard (mid-90s fastball), is inducing soft contact at a career best 29.6%, striking out 9.75/9, and has not allowed a home run. The bad: He still walks too many (4.50/9) and LOB% is 92.3. Some rough outings should be expected in the future. Rodney is a tough one to tag because the pendulum swings so violently and quickly. I’m going to make it rain because saves are saves, he’s shown the ability to perform well in the past and, most importantly, his acquisition cost should be very low. If you use a pace maker, I’d probably refrain from owning Rodney.

• Kevin Pillar (OF-Toronto Blue Jays) – When researching Pillar, I came across some nicknames for him. Superman. Ok, I get it with all of his highlight reel diving catches in the outfield. Then, I came across “Toronto’s new favourite underdog.” What?! C’mon Canada. You can do better than that. Pillar is slashing .301/.338/.455 with two home runs, 13 RBI, and two stolen bases. He bats lead-off against lefties and sixth or seventh against righties. Most of his metrics are in-line with his career. The thing I noticed was that his plate discipline seems to have improved, though. He’s swinging at fewer pitches outside the strike zone (32.8% vs 39.2% career) and swinging less in general (46.3% vs 50.5% career). His walk rate is at a career-low 2.4% (4.0% career) but his contact and swinging strike rate are at career bests. This indicates to me that he’s waiting for his pitch. Pillar hit 12 home runs with 25 steals last year. 10/20 should be attainable with ample runs and RBI due to a potent Jays lineup and the fact that he bats both leadoff and sixth.

Good luck this week. You can reach SON on the Twitter @Stan_Son.