It’s with no regret that I announce (Well, I’m not exactly announcing it. The Brewers are, but bear with me.) that Eric Gagne is no longer the closer. Officially, the Brewers say it’s a mental break. I say, it’s a “You can’t take steroids anymore and the Brewers should’ve never acquired him in the first place” break. On Friday, I told you I think Salomon Torres will walk away with a large chunk of saves. If he’s gone, as a speculation on Gagne’s replacement, you have to grab Mota or Riske. Grab everyone basically, even Shouse, if you need saves. I think Gagne will be eventually back closing for the Brewers and he’ll get five or six more saves before he undoubtably needs another mental break. Guess now he’ll have time to tuck in his shirt. Anyway, here’s what else I (and others) saw yesterday:

Johnny Cueto – I missed the Mets game because I was hungover and needed to submerge my head into a tub of ice. So I put Rudy on the case, here’s what he said over IM, “Castillo got a gift triple in the first which led to 3 runs, but they were crushing Cueto in the first 2 IP. Then 2 innings were fine. Then a bullshit infield single for Castillo. K’d Wright. Then hung a curve that Beltran hit into orbit. No great story other than Cueto’s stuff is good, but remains a risky bet. I wish I traded him to you instead of Zach Attack. Parra’s unstartable, but I’m starting Cueto outside of Colorado. BTW, you’re the greatest writer in the history of blogs. In fact, blogs should be renamed to Glegs, which is a portmanteau (Word of the Day).”  Thanks, Rudy.

Brian Bannister – I was vomiting blood during this game, so I turned to my Uncle Yitz, who lives in KC, “Bannister is luckier than a blind man in a braille store.” Thanks, Uncle Yitz.

Carl Crawford – Blood turned to phlegm so I let Momma Grey write this one for Mother’s Day, “Carl who? Is that our mailman?” “Maybe you’re thinking of Karl Malone.” “Karl Malone is our mailman’s name?” Thanks, Mom! I still believe Crawford gets over 20 home runs and I’d trade for ‘our mailman’ in a second.

Ryan Braun – Everyone’s well aware of my stance on Braun, but he did hit two home runs yesterday. I say sell, but you do what you do.

Shawn Hill – Still not getting Ks or Ws like I’d want, but in deep leagues, you can do a lot worse. Actually, in shallow leagues you could do worse.

Khalil Greene – Been a buy low candidate for me for about a month. He is what he is, which is 25 home runs. If you like that sort of thing, you’ll enjoy KG.

Santiago Casilla – Finally gave up some runs, but he just got another win. Listen, when it’s time to bail, I’ll give you a heads up, but fantasy baseball is like a craps table. When the table’s hot, ride the effin’ table. When the table’s cold, go to a strip club.

Jonathan Broxton – I know you want to drop him quickfast. I think that’s being too reactionary. He recently had problems with his lat muscle, so he might not be himself. Bench him for a few days to see if yesterday’s outing was a one time bludgeoning or if you need to do a mercy killing.

Justin Speier – Not sure if anyone’s on this train wreck, but you need to get off, you ain’t ‘Unbreakable.’

Ervin Santana – Missed this game because my girlfriend was administering an IV, but his final line surprises me less than his first month of stats, if that makes sense — sweet!

Dan Uggla – If he hits forty, he’s worth the average. Otherwise, I’m not a fan. BTW, missed this game because I needed to be rushed to the hospital.

Nick Blackburn – Returned from the hospital in time to see this game. Honestly, I’m not buying into this guy. He seems usable with the right match-ups, but not on any of my teams. Not right now. Now I’m going to down an aspirin, a Bloody Mary and a ‘lude and hope this hangover goes away. Remind me not to drink again.

  1. Kevin says:

    I missed out on the Brewer closers but I did pick up Ryan Franklin. Lucky me!!

    I guess I am just going to have to keep trotting Cueto out there. You could tell he was really getting frustrated with his defense yesterday. Things have got to smooth out for this guy, he is too good.

  2. BSA says:

    I don’t see him dropping to me on waivers but I want to put a claim in on Pence. My outfield is currently, damon, wells, kemp, and quentin. I also have Longoria on my bench. Would you put in the claim, if so who goes on the add/drop for him?

  3. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Kevin: Gotta be quick to WW for closer replacements. That’s why I told people on Friday to pick up Torres because I knew it was only a matter of time.

    @BSA: I would drop Longoria (depending on 3rd basemen replacement) for Pence.

    EDIT: Cuz.

  4. BSA says:

    My third base is covered by Figgins and ARam.

  5. Chet says:

    Appletinis can be hard on the system

  6. Kevin says:

    I would have grabbed Torres if I knew he would be the closer. Even now there seems to be a consensus that Mota will be the guy who will end up with the job. It’s just like the Seattle situation was earlier in the year. You have to free up three spots on your roster because you just don’t know who is going to emerge.

  7. Carl says:

    I have Isringhausen. This blows.

  8. always tough when a reliever is going down and there’s no clearcut replacement.

    but if you’re an owner of a guy like gagne or izzy, you have to either back them up at the first sign of trouble or be willing to lose a saves source if/when they falter.

    btw, the st. louis saves situation looks awful. ryan franklin? ugh. wonder if tony is calling up eckersley.

  9. BSA says:

    What the heck (me being nice) with Renta-wreck?! I thought I would get more but if anything he is trending toward the cellar. Based on basic h2h points he had one week worth 31 points and one worth 26, otherwise he hasn’t scored more than 17 points. The free agent Shortstops available are: Keppinger, Crosby, Aybar, Peralta, YBetancourt, KGreene, JHardy. Obviously there are more but these are the names that popped out.

  10. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Chet: Pina Coladas. Thank you very much.

    @BSA: I’d grab Greene cause he could be about to go on a bit of a streak.

  11. BSA says:

    Either way “could be” sounds better than the six week sample I have seen so far. What does Greene bring to the table after I drop Rentawreck for him?

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: If Renteria stays in the bottom half of the order, Greene gives twice as many home runs, equal RBIs, few more runs and a .250 average compared to .280 for Renteria.

  13. Lolhamburger says:

    I’m just thinking out loud so please excuse the rambling. I had a fairly active weekend in my 12-team H2H 5×5 league.

    Friday – Traded away Melky for Longoria.
    Saturday – Dropped F. Lopez (FA pickup filling in for ailing O. Hudson) for Franklin as soon as I saw the Izzy statement.
    Sunday – Traded away Jurrjens, Sherrill and Franklin to Gagne’s owner for Dunn. Picked up Torres as a FA to join Capp, Percival, Fuentes and B. Wilson on my roster. Had to drop Butler for that.

    Intellectually, I think I should be thrilled. In actuality, I’m feeling a bit of a let down. Torres shouldn’t have been a FA on Sunday night.

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Lolhamburger: Not crazy about the Melky move, but it could work okay. The other moves I think you were right on.

  15. Lolhamburger says:

    @Grey: If I had known that the Dunn trade was coming, I wouldn’t have done the Melky/Longoria deal. On Friday, I was trying to trade speed for power. I figured that I knew what I had in Melky and that my team could take the risk of Longoria’s downside for the possibility of his upside.

    Changing subjects, I’m monitoring Hill and Liriano, both of whom are now in the FA pool (I put Hill there). I own Scherzer for now and I don’t know what I’ll do if/when Hill and/or Liriano come back up. No way to know at this point, obviously.

  16. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Lolhamburger: Hill looks like he’ll be back way before Liriano. I’d say in the next couple of weeks. Then again, Hill may suddenly lose his command again, so I guess we’ll see. He did walk four in just under six innings yesterday, which I guess is an improvement to walking the first four guys you see in the first. He also struckout 8.

  17. KarlJ says:

    Three trades on the table that I am looking into to improve my offense.

    A. I give up Halladay and Johjima and get back V Mart and Jered Weaver

    B. I give up Lincecum and Votto for Teixeira and Cain

    C. I give up Lincecum and Johjima for Harang and Pudge

    Which do you think is the better option?

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @KarlJ: B’s not a slam dunk, but it’s solid.

  19. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    What are the odds of Franklin sticking with his setup role and R. “Jerry” Springer mopping up a few?? I picked up Jerry (since Franklin was taken) and started him in place of Broxton this week. (don’t disappoint me grey… I expect a few snarky comments about sleeping with sisters and miget porn)

    Oh and there isn’t anyone who will touch a Lincecum for (radom 2nd or 3rd rounder) in my mixed league. I’m renaming that league the “League of Extraordinary Douchebags.” It’s the worst trading environment I’ve ever experienced in fantasy baseball.

    I did have one guy offer me Capps and Pierre for Lince’. Thoughts?

  20. KarlJ says:


    Would you trade B less or more if I substitute C. Pena for Votto?

  21. KarlJ says:

    Excuse my grammar. I meant to say would you like trade B less or more if I substitute Carlos Pena for Votto

  22. Chase says:

    Corey Hart or Carlos Quentin

  23. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Chase: Yes. Both of them are fine ballplayers. (insert excess sarcasm here).

  24. Chase says:

    is quentin and atkins for crawford a fair trade

  25. @KarlJ: I think giving Teixeira and giving Lincecum is great. Votto or Pena on top of that is pretty steep, though. The number say keep Pena as he’s a better power threat but Votto is better for AVG and SB. I’m almost leaning towards #1 as V-Mart is a huge plus over Kenji and it’s just costing you a downgrade at starter.

    @Chase: @Chase: I’d take Hart. I think Hart is a buy-low candidate and Quentin is sell-high. I’m not a crawford fan – i’d take quentin and atkins. if you really need speed, i’d trade atkins and your 5th OF…

  26. KarlJ. says:

    @Rudy Gamble:

    I could probably do Lincecum for Teixeira straight up but I wanted Cain back so I would be giving the other team Votto or Carlos Pena to get him to include Cain.

  27. BSA says:

    Hey Grey, regarding that vetoed trade of Vlad/Penny for Volquez here is a response to my being pissed off at another team who not only objected but added to it by posting to the message board. Here is a response I don’t get.
    “unless its obvious collusion, or the deal is SO one-sided I wonder if the managers involved have been huffing their keyboard cleaner. This one was the latter. Just b/c cbs rankins ebb & flow you MUST take into account the overall value of the players involved & the repercutions to the whole league. Bottom line: Two #1 type players for 1 future star(on a poor team, by the way) can really put a league off balance. Dont count on either Penny or Vlad to keep slumping, their YEARS of solid play dictate that trend will end. Slumps happen to 98% of players, but they almost always come out of them.
    But remember, if Im involved in a trade that bad, I would hope you did the responsible thing as I did, and object to it!!”

  28. Russ says:

    hey grey, what do you think of dropping varitek for iannetta?

  29. Chase says:

    grey, just traded geovanny soto AND rich harden…took ur advice….traded them for vmartinez and john lackey

  30. Dim says:

    Lost out on Hart; use the waiver priority of Rich Hill or wait for Kershaw (And yes, every comment I make will end “or wait for Kershaw?”)?

  31. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: They’re annoying me and I’m not even in that league. Penny’s a throw-in. He’s a first half player that is not having a good first half thus far. It’s risk and things happen. The trade should’ve went through.

    @Russ: I’d do that. Varitek’s past his born on date.

    @Dim: I wouldn’t use it on Hill at this point.

  32. BSA says:

    Thanks for the tek past born on date. good chuckle.

  33. BSA says:

    Can Bedard lay a bigger egg tonight in Bedard? First his offense can’t score for him, then they give him five runs and he can only help the Rangers deposit his pitches in the bleachers.

  34. Chase says:

    Erik makes me flustered. I saw it was 5-0 Seattle in the top of the first and I was like alright bedard is gonna get the win

  35. Grey

    Grey says:

    @KarlJ: My thought on the trades were A) Kenji and Jered are both a wash, and they shouldn’t even be on teams at this point. There’s definitely something better on the waivers. Halladay is having a solid season, which he will do as long as he avoids injury. V-Mart’s had some injury tweaks this year, but obviously a great catcher. Halladay and an upgrade at catcher is stronger than V-Mart and Weaver.

    B. Lincecum for Tex is solid. Votto looks great, but he might get exposed. Cain’s shown flashes of brilliance in past seasons and could work out his kinks. I bet on Cain to return to his past than the unknown of Votto at this level.

    C. Those two catchers are bleh and should both be dropped. Lincecum for Harang is not a great trade. A trade that is basically an apples for apples trade. There’s no point.

    Do the straight up trade if you can. Tex for Lincecum.

    EDIT: Cuz.

  36. josh says:

    i dont expect anyone to care but i need to bitch somewhere. made a trade in which i got granderson and gave youkilis (and more). granderson is 1/18 for my team and youkilis has 5 hrs for him.

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