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The Pittsburgh Pirates have been riding the clutch for the last six years and it seems the damage has been done. Now the clutch is slipping and there might be damage to the flywheel. Some people just don’t realize that it’s much cheaper to replace brake pads than it is to replace your clutch. Especially when your clutch was a first round draft pick.

Since 2011 Andrew McCutchen has been a top ten outfielder in points leagues. From 2012-2015 he was in the top five, scoring 499, 490, 471 and 465 points respectively. The wear and tear on the clutch can be seen in his decline in point production. This season he is on pace for a meager 298 points. Wait, that must be a typo right? Wrong! With 195 points so far McCutchen finds himself right between Yasmany Tomas (197) and Brad Miller (189), both of whom have had about 50 less plate appearances. This means they have both technically been more valuable with better points per plate appearance ratios. Essentially Andrew McCutchen has been useless in 2016. Perhaps even detrimental to your team considering the wasted early round pick. He has had just two weeks in which he scored more than 20 points and is averaging just 11 points per week. Jose Altuve scores 11 points per game! Okay, so that’s not an accurate statement, but has done so several times this season. So have many other hitters. Heck, a grand slam is 9 points with one swting! At this point there’s not really anything you can with McCutchen except put him on your bench. Given his history I would buy low on him, but it would have to be a legit buy low offer.

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Gerrit Cole was the first round pick in the 2011 MLB Amateur Draft. Here are just a few players he was chosen ahead of that season. Anthony Rendon, Francisco Lindor, Javier Baez, George Springer, Jackie Bradley, Trevor Story and Jose Fernandez. As much as I love Cole, I’m sure the Pirates wish they had drafted Fernandez. And that’s not taking anything away from Gerrit, Fernandez is just awesome. Cole is pitching well this season. If I had to complain about something it would have to be the fact that his strikeout rate is down. In 2014 his K/9 was 9.0 and in 2015 it was 8.7. This year he has 73 in 87.3, which is just 7.5 per nine. Cole is only 25 and is knocking on the elite pitching door. Some might say he is banging, but he’s not quite there. He’s only averaging 13 points per start, but he’s only going to improve. I think this might be an excellent opportunity to buy low on him in keeper leagues.

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Bossman junior sounds like the name of a main guy you have to fight right before you fight the real main guy at the end of a level in some 1980’s Nintendo game. He’s not exactly the boss, but he’s harder to beat than any other enemy in that level. Melvin Upton Jr. claims that his name change had nothing to do with getting a fresh start or trying to change his luck after two piss poor seasons in Atlanta. And when I say “piss poor” that might be an understatement. If he wanted to change his name to reflect his time with the Braves he could have gone with Sh*thead Upton Jr. That first name, by the way, is actually a legitimate name. I believe it’s commonly pronounced shi-theed. Ain’t that some sh*t!

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Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody walk the F. Lindor. Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom. Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom. I can’t remember when the shortstop position was this deep. And by deep I mean you have more options than Troy Tulowitzki, who was all but guaranteed to be injured yet still outscore the field, and Jose Reyes who relied heavily on his legs to get him points. I guess there were a few years where Jimmy Rollins was a strong play at the position, but regularly there was just one, maybe two, studs at shortstop. The landscape looks quite different in 2016.

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Last Friday I presented my pitcher projections for the second half of the season. In said projections I concluded by predicting that Chris Sale would be the American League Cy Young Award winner. I put his final line at 227 IP, 23 W, 6 L, 231 K, 47 BBI, 186 HA, 82 ER. Sale certainly came out of the second half gates as if he had read my post. There was a rumor going around that both Sale and Dylan Bundy frequent Razzball. I have no proof, but it sounds logical to me. Speaking of Bundy, while it might not have been very impressive, he made his first Major League start this past Sunday. Despite only lasting 3.1 innings, there are still some positive takeaways. I’m not sure what his exact role in the Orioles’ rotation is going to be, but it seems he’s going to be groomed into becoming a full-time starter. It just might not be this year. I’d also like to point out that I expressed my interest in Bundy this season back in April. On April 13th I said I’d rather stash Dylan Bundy than own Byron Buxton. Then, one week later, I elaborated on my thoughts on Bundy. Those in leagues that allow SP in RP, should take an extra look at Dylan should he be available in your league.

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On Wednesday I gave you my second half projections for hitters. At the request of a commenter I have decided to see what I can come up with for starting pitchers. While projections are a slippery slope, I going to give it the old college try anyway. I’ve come to realize that you really can’t be wrong when making projections. It’s impossible to be right, so by process of elimination, how can I be wrong. Anyone follow that absolutely twisted logic? Me neither.

As I did with my hitter projections, I have merged my weighted preseason projections with weighted year-to-date stats to generate rest of season projections. Hocus-pocus. Abracadabra. I present my second half visions.

Given standard points systems do you have any guesses who might be projected to score the most points in the second half. Despite currently being on the disabled list, Clayton Kershaw still manages to come out on top. Kershaw is in line for another 334 points. Obviously this is all predicated on him making a quick return to action. The longer he’s out, the less points he will score. But then again, that’s basic math. Or is it just common sense?

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As much as I hate projections, I’m going to give them to you anyway. Who cares what you actually want, right? Just let me throw some darts at some numbers and I’ll be right with you. Seriously, I’d love to try that one of these years. Next year I will be debuting my new dartboard projection system which is practically guaranteed to be no worse than any other expert. I think that’s actually how CBS and ESPN calculate their yearly projections. How bad could they be? Don’t answer that. Instead of stooping to such a level (at least yet) I have married weighted versions of my preseason projections with weighted year-to-date performances to determine rest-of-season projections. Usually I cater to the points league enthusiasts, but today I am flipping the script and going full roto. I realize that Kirk Lazarus warned us to never go full rotard, but I’m just feeling it today. If I go home empty handed, then I go home empty handed.

Here are my rest of season projections for four of the five major roto categories…

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Last year there were only four players that made it to the 20/20 club. Those players were A.J. Pollock, Ryan Braun, Paul Goldschmidt and Manny Machado. The year before, 2014, there were five members. Carlos Gomez, Ian Desmond, Michael Brantley, Brian Dozier and Todd Frazier. In 2013 there were nine. Carlos Gomez, Mike Trout, Andrew McCutchen, Hunter Pence, Will Veneble, Coco Crisp, Ian Desmond, Carlos Gonzalez and Shin-Soo Choo. Back in 2009 there were 14 players that hit at least 20 home runs and stole at least 20 bases. Attendance at the 20/20 club has been steadily falling. Are the days of the 20/20 player disappearing? How is Mike Trout’s name only listed once? What happened to Carlos Gomez? Coco Crisp? Will Veneble? More like Will Vdisable.

So how does the 2016 landscape look for 20/20 hopefuls? Based on each players’ current pace, here are the players on track for 20/20…

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A dollar doesn’t buy you much anymore in this world. It’s disappointing how much the value of the dollar has diminished over the last many years. I gave a bank teller a George Washington and he handed me back 90 cents. Who am I to argue with a teller. I gave a homeless woman a dollar the other day and she called me a pathetic cheapskate. Did she really have to use the word “pathetic”? Even the Wu Tang Clan is looking to replace the words dollar bill from C.R.E.A.M. Is the dollar on life support? I just don’t know. But I’ll tell you one thing a dollar can buy you… fantasy baseball players that will make you the owner of a first place team.

Rostering only players that cost $1, including players that were not drafted at all, I could easily assemble a first place team. I’m including players that were not drafted because they could have been for a dollar. I realize that hindsight is 20/20, but let me show you what $10 could have gotten you in your 2016 fantasy baseball auction draft…

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Not even a back injury can keep Clayton Kershaw from the top spot in my points leagues rankings. I thought about going with “He’ll Be Back” as my title considering his current DL designation, but I’m not really sure of the extent of his injury. However, Clayton Kershaw can probably get you more points while on the disabled list than several other pitchers whom are not. That’s actually a true statement considering multiple pitchers have turned in negative performances. Edinson Volquez, Eduardo Rodriguez, Dan Straily and James Shields are among those that have recently subtracted points from their teams’ totals. Plus, then I would have had to fill this post with both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Terminator references.

Last week I promised I’d focus on pitchers in the following week. Today is next week. It almost feels like time travel. Weird. Since I am a man of my word, here you go. Like last week, today’s pitcher rankings are based 70 percent on year-to-date performance, 30 percent on rest of season projections and 10 percent on experimental formulas.

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Lately it seems like every television network is airing a new O.J. Simpson show. I really couldn’t get into the People vs. O.J. Simpson. I just couldn’t get passed the fact that Ross Gellar was playing his best friend. Actually, I didn’t like Cuba Gooding or John Travolta either. The whole show felt about as fake as Bruce Jenner’s right to take a dump in the women’s bathroom. I haven’t had a chance to watch ESPN’s offering, so I can’t really comment. Here’s the deal. I think O.J. did it. Good old T.D. Parker is guilty. How ironic is it that a guy that hurts people used to be the face of Hertz. When he was acquitted, I remember hearing the phrase “The Juice is loose”. I don’t know if they had the death penalty in California, but I was pushing for “Juice the Juice!” Speaking of “the juice is loose“, anyone else have a craving for Starbursts? Screw O.J. Simpson. I’d much rather talk about a guy that’s hitting the cover off the ball.

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My Spanish is more than rusty, so I apologize if I failed to offend you with my title. Actually I don’t apologize. Now have I offended you? Who cares. I realize it should have been “Aquí Viene Ramos”, but my way sounds much better. More Dr. Seuss if you will. I feel like it’s time for some points league rankings. Who doesn’t love rankings? The best part about writing this column is that if I feel like it’s time for a rankings post, I write a rankings post. Who’s gonna stop me. I guess Grey could, but if I fly in under the greydar, then I should be ok. Today’s rankings are based 70 percent on year-to-date performance, 30 percent on rest of season projections and 10 percent on experimental formulas. Yes, I realize that adds up to 110 percent, but that’s part of what makes it experimental.

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