2022 ESPN Fantasy Baseball Rankings Ranklings

Gonna look back at my ESPN fantasy baseball rankings comparison from last year, as I did with the Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings the other day, because it’s so helpful. Not for this year, but in general to humble myself. To make me hungrier than I’ve ever been. I have to eat. Then I make that spoon-to-mouth hand gesture, then I pat my stomach, making a hand gesture that I ate too fast, then I make the hand gesture that I need a nap, then I point to a watch-less wrist to ask you to wake me up, then I point to my diploma on the wall from Mime School. So, here’s the guys I told you to avoid in ESPN’s fantasy baseball rankings last year:

As we saw with my Yahoo rankings comparison, I was wrongly out on Aaron Judge, Starling Marte and Jose Altuve last year. Obviously, I don’t like to tilt my head too high or low, and, secondly (were we counting something?), I don’t trust steals from older players. Never have, never will.

Then, regarding some of the others, I have hated Anthony Rendon, Michael Brantley and Corey Seager for many years. For better or worse, and two of them were worse, and one was better. Though, not even better enough to warrant my ranking, let alone ESPN’s. Corey Seager: Even When Good, Not Really That Good.

Okay, let’s look at guys I wanted last year, that they didn’t:

Cody Bellinger will haunt me like he’s wearing a sheet, and I’m Scooby Doo. Actually, in all the leagues where I drafted Cody Bellinger, I was the one wearing his sheet. One sheet after another that he dropped on my teams all year long. My love for Kyle Lewis was so batshizz crazy, but I’m pleading the 5th. Pleading the 5th in this case was “looking at the fifth-of-a-season stats from 2020 and putting too much weight on them.” Also, this is the 2nd time I’m seeing Nick Solak in one of these, and I wonder if I’m not overlooking him too much this year. Then, that’s followed by me thinking, “Please don’t tell me you’re falling for Nick Solak again.”

So, onto this year, and some of the biggest discrepancies I’m seeing at ESPN. Hmm, let’s use this time to point out how much I love Shane Baz, and the folx at ESPN didn’t read my Shane Baz fantasy. They have him at 152, and I have him up at 91. Yahoo has him at 148 and Rudy has him at 147 and, something’s gotta give, huh? Am I way off to love a pitcher with a 12+ K/9 and 2 BB/9? As far as I’m concerned, Baz is the meow’s cat and I want him in every league. Sure, maybe he only throws 130-ish IP, but I’ll figure out the other 40 IP off waivers and plug-in Baz for all his goodness. I am Baz Lurveman. Put me on a moon, singing Elton John songs in a janky Romeo & Juliet musical, because my lurve is true for Baz.

Now, Jazz Chisholm Jr.’s ESPN ranking is throwing me a Wainwright curve, and my Beltran knees are buckling. I thought I was going to be the low-man on Jazz. After 14 hours of Ken Burns filming the Wikipedia page for jazz, I had enough! Also, I’m concerned Chisholm will hit .220 and become this year’s Keston Hiura. I should love Jazz. I can snap my fingers! I can bob my head! I do not love Jazz though. It sucks. But the Wainwright curve, buckling my Beltran knees, is ESPN has him almost 60 spots in their rankings later than me. I’m supposed to be Head & Shoulders below everyone, and this has me scratching my head more than this metaphor.

Finally (before I give you all these guys again in a chart), ESPN has Adalberto Mondesi ranked 137th overall. This is an arrow through my heart, and, as I die, I whisper, “Dubya tee eff.” Can you imagine the chagrin of your last words being “Dubya tee eff?” Talk about an insult to injury. I have Mondesi at 56th overall, and Rudy has him at 40th overall; ESPN almost a hundred picks later. Here’s my defense, “Your honor Mondesi can steal 70 bags and hit 20 homers.” Then, to the judge, “Can I also ask the jury to raise their hands for who is gonna vote to acquit? Might save us some time, and I can know how long I have for lunch.” Gavel bangs. “What?!”

Okay, here’s a chart of the biggest values from ESPN to me (Thank you!) and the players that ESPN is much higher on (No thank you!). NOTE: Since I did this chart a few days ago, some of the numbers might be slightly different in my rankings and theirs:

THANK YOU

NO THANK YOU