Fantasy Baseball Advice

Jimmy Rollins looks like he’s headed to the DL with a Grade 2 calf strain.  For those non-doctors out there, that’s a calf strain that starts to learn its times tables.  It hurts to lose your 2nd or 3rd round pick, but you don’t have many options here.  You can’t sell him low.  Assuming you need a little pick me up after getting *pinkie to mouth* decalfeinated, some MIs that are out there are McGehee, Furcal, Desmond, EverCab and O-Cab.  They provide different things, but I like them to varying degrees, in that order.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Adeiny Hechavarria – Say that name fast one time!  The Jays signed the 21-year-old Cuban defector.  Defect had more going it against than any other word, yet the Cubans turned it into a positive.  Sorta the same journey the word “special” took, but in the reverse.  Hechavarria probably won’t be called up until the end of this year at the earliest.  Not simply because no one can pronounce his name.  (For those perfectionists out there, it’s Ah-THEY-nee Eh-CHA-bah-ree-ah.)  (BTW, I always use the spellchecker when typing perfectionist.  Discuss that amongst yourselves.)  He’s still very raw, but in time they are likening Ah-THEY-nee to a young Alfonso Soriano.  Not sure if “they” are saying a young Soriano means a Latin 21 or a Latin 25.  I’d look at him in keepers, but league depth has a lot to do with your sitch.

Ricky Romero – 8 IP, 2 ER, 12 Ks as he threw a one hitter.  Whenever I hear this guy’s name I think of Prince’s Batdance.  Stop the press – who is that?  Ricky Romero!  The problem with Romero up until this year is he’s struggled with walks.  So far, doesn’t seem like this is an issue.  He gets the Angels, Rays and A’s next (not at the same time; that would be crazy).  I’d absolutely take a flier on him to see if he can continue his new trends.  I do think it might be a bit miragey, but grab now and ask questions later.

Kevin Gregg – Got the save.  Gregg has looked exceptional.  That’s weird.  Frasor was used on Monday so Gregg was used on Tuesday.  I think if the Jays would just stop winning, then Frasor would be the closer.  If that makes any sense.  Okay, I’ll try again.  If the Jays win every third day, Frasor gets most of the saves.  These back to back ones?  Frasor and Gregg will be used.  So if you’re really hurting, grab Gregg.  Then again, Frasor’s being outpitched by Gregg.  Just own them both for right now.

Brad Hawpe – Hawpe’s day-to-day with a quad injury.  First Carlos Gonzalez comes up lame, now Hawpe.  Not to get all Professor Plum on you, but where was Seth Smith during all of this?

Seth Smith – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and a HR yesterday.  While CarGo and Hawpe are nursing injuries, I’d grab Smith.  Just don’t leave your drink unattended near him.

Akinori Iwamura – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday.  David Ortiz has zero homers.  Cust kayin’.

Drew Stubbs – 0-for-5 as the Reds scored 10.  Ticker tease!

Doug Fister – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners.  This start was more an indication of the A’s offense than Fister’s pitching.  Also, conversation overheard at my house yesterday.  Girlfriend, “Grey, what are you watching?”  “Fister ‘n the A’s!”  Girlfriend, “You’re disgusting.”

Brian Matusz – 7 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 Ks.  He actually looked better than Romero.  Very impressive outing.  Three of his earned runs were inherited baserunners Johnson let score.

Jim Johnson – 1/3 IP, 1 ER and the blown save.  A consequence of SAGNOF and being quick to waivers is you end up grabbing a fill-in closer then they explode in your face too.  Johnson may suffer from Scott Downs’ Syndrome.  Don’t let go of Mike Gonzalez yet.

Brandon Webb – Played catch on Monday and the D-Backs are hoping for him to return June 1st.  If you’ve stashed him on your DL, I’d look to trade him around May 31st.

Chris Young – Says he feels no pain, it’s just tightness.  That’s what she said!  Wait, he said it.  Damn!  Young should be back as soon as he’s eligible to come off the DL.  I’d stash him on my DL.

Jose Guillen – Hit another homer yesterday.  Now has like a bazillion homers in the last three days.  Probably won’t hit a bazillion more, but it pays to find out.

Brian Bannister – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks.  Don’t even think about it.  I see you!  Stop.  Move your cursor away from picking him up.  Slowly!

Ryan Perry – He’s a Holds machine.  That is all.

Cliff Lee – The Adverb threw a bullpen session and eyes the beginning of May for his return.

Erik Bedard – The Mariners hope Bedard returns by the end of May.  Decent DL stashee, but it wouldn’t shock me to see him come back, throw 5 to 7 games and then get hurt again.  That’s how he do.

Milton Bradley – 2-for-4, HR yesterday.  Last week, he gave the middle finger to the fans.  This week, there’s still time left.

Clayton Kershaw – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks, 8 baserunners, 5 BBs.  As Vin Scully said, “Kershaw was fighting the strike zone from right after the anthem.”  He threw 110 pitches and only 59 were strikes.  Should be BBershaw.

Ian Kennedy – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners.  He gets the Padres in Petco next time out, I’d hold him for that start.  Kennedy’s problem really is ill-timed homers.  Every 30th pitch hits a grassy knoll in the outfield.

Krispie Young – 2-for-4 and a walk!  You should grab him, might be breaking out.  Walking for Krispie is a feat.  Pun unavoidable.

Ervin Santana – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 7 Ks, 13 baserunners.  Definitely wasn’t all magic with Ervin.  I’m ready to deploy my parachute and lose this guy, but I think it’s only fair we give him a non-Yankees start to see what he can do.  He gets the Blue Jays next.  You want Grey to own you, Ervin?  Get your shizz together.

Mike Napoli – Maybe Crapoli gives away the pitches because he’s so dramatic with his hand movements.  You know those Italians.  When Napoli flicks his chin, it’s-a gonna be a fastball.  Either way, Napoli’s clearly the backup.  Lose him in all but the deepest leagues.  Even with a full-time job, it wasn’t like he was winning you your league.  What’s the difference between Napoli and Snyder with full-time at-bats?  5 homers?  Vernon Wells already has that many.

Brandon Wood – 1-for-3.  He got a hit and a walk in the same game?!  C’mon!  Seriously?  I’m really surprised Scioscia hasn’t benched Wood, but I guess this is Scioscia’s modus operandi.  Call up and send down prospects for three years until they don’t know if they’re coming or going, then when they’ve finally given up all hope, play them.  Watch closely when a prospect moves close to Scioscia.  They flinch.  Scioscia and prospects are like Michael Vick and dogs.  Scioscia is the biggest prospblock.  /rant

Chad Qualls is probably done for the season.  The closer shituation isn’t going to be pretty in Arizona, unfortunately.  We’re looking at a closerousel.  I’d list the candidates in this order:  Juan Gutierrez, Clay Zavada, Esmerling Vasquez, Daniel Schlereth and Blaine Boyer.  Reading those names again, I vomited into a trash bin and the ghost of Hoyt Wilhelm materialized and said in a British accent, “Be careful, Grey.  Gutierrez is iffy at best and Zavada can’t see past his mustache when he pitches from the stretch.”  Because times are lean for saves in a few of my leagues, I’ll cop to grabbing the first two guys.  Careful about going with any of them if you don’t need saves.  But really, who doesn’t need saves?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Krispie Young – In America, everyone gets a 2nd chance — John Travolta, Michael Vick and the police officer from The Village People.  Maybe people get 2nd chances in Kathmandu.  I don’t know.  I’ve never heard anyone say, “Everyone gets a 2nd chance in Kathmandu.”  Krispie returns to the majors and should be play nearly every day.  What can we expect?  Nothing.  How’s that optimism?  But what can he do?  Well, he’s been hot in his recent Triple-A stint and he had a decent 2nd half last year.  Absolute ceiling of expectations would be 4 homers and 4 steals in September.  It’s not going to save your team, but it could help.

Scott Kazmir – In case you don’t have cable in your dungeon, Kazmir was traded to the Angels.  Maybe going out to Dave & Buster’s after every game, rather than Hooters will help focus Spazmir, but I have my doubts.  He’s been no joy to own thus far this year, and I’m skeptical that he suddenly will turn things around.

Andy Sonnanstine – He’ll get the call this Tuesday to replace Kazmir.  And, as you know, Tuesday is the new hump day.

Jake Peavy – His elbow had a “recurrence of tightness.”  Sounds like a bad Ashton Kutcher movie.  Oh, wait, they’re all bad.  Hey, look at me, I Twitter!  I’m Ashton Kutcher!  I’m in movies opposite Anne Heche! Sorry, I don’t like Kutcher.  So, Peavy’s having problems with his elbow… Well, I didn’t expect him to save many teams in September, but I did think he could be helpful.  Now, not so sure.  If you have no room on your DL, I’d consider dropping him.

Akinori Iwamura – HR yesterday.  Sitting under your MI trellis with Everth Cabrera, Gordon Beckham and Alexei Ramirez and Akinori walks up with a nice glass of iced tea.  Do you ask someone to get up so Aki can sit down?  Right now, Iwamura’s hitting at the bottom of the lineup, but that could change if he hits.  But really the best thing you can hope for from him is Runs and only if he’s at the top of the lineup.

Joba Chamberlain – 3 IP, 2 ER.  The Yankees said they were abandoning Joba Rules (skipping him).  But it seems like they’re just altering the rules to include starting him but then pulling him early in games (after 35 pitches on Sunday).  That does no one any good in fantasy.  Punt!

Jermaine Dye – HR yesterday as he went 2-for-11 over the weekend with one RBI.  I’m still fine with abandoning him.  Don’t look back in anger, Liam.

Matt Kemp – HR yesterday and recently he’s been batting in the top half of the lineup.  A commenter asked me if I would draft Sizemore or Kemp first in 2010.  At first I said Sizemore, but it’s very close and I could see February Grey changing his mind on that.  Kemp really has been that great this year.

Bronson Arroyo – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  His run of quality starts continues.  I don’t play for Wins because they’re hard to predict, but I will say Arroyo has been miserably unlucky… Or maybe the Reds have just been miserably bad.  Either way, Arroyo’s not a great bet for wins, but he’s been solid in ratios.

Sean West – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Has a respectable ERA (4.22) but a terrible K/BB ratio (47/35).  He gets the Nationals and the Mets in his next two starts.  To some that may sound like the cat’s meow and the cat’s pajamas.  Well, I’m not a cat person.

Adrian Gonzalez – Sat out two straight days with a bicep(s?) injury.  He pinch hit though on Sunday so it shouldn’t be too serious.  I did enjoy seeing Oscar Salazar batting third yesterday.  He’s the 1st baseman; first basemen bat 3rd!  Bonkers, I tell ya.  Bonkers…  Oh, but it did work as Salazar went 3-for-4.  Inconceivable!

Feliz Pie – Has 3 homers in the last four games while batting near .400 over the last week.  That’s some tasty pee-ay.

Paul Byrd – 6 IP, 6 baserunners, 0 ER as he got the start for the Sawx.  I wouldn’t pick him up with your team.

Garrett Jones – Hit his 16th homer yesterday.  In other news, are you kidding me?!

Julio Borbon – Only got on base once and he stole a base.  Can someone conference call Alcides Escobar and Borbon so we can get Alcides running?  I’ll moderate/translate.  Anyone know how to say SAGNOF in Spanish?

Carlos Zambrano – 3 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners.  This ain’t exactly like predicting in 1975 that OJ Simpson will one day kill his wife, but end up in prison for trying to steal his own memorabilia, but when you can’t get out of the 4th inning vs. the Mets something is not right.

Kendry Morales – 2-for-4 with his 30th homer yesterday.  He hits .311 on the year as he nears 100 RBIs.  Still, I get the feeling he might be underrated next year.

Zach Greinke – 1 hitter vs. the Mariners.  Hopefully, the BBWAA can skim their eyes to the right of his Win total.

Russell Branyan – Headed to the DL.  But, wait, who’s going to give me my 1-for-12 with a homer every third game?  Later, Branyan.  Way to regress to your subpar norm in the 2nd half.

Carlos Gonzalez – Returned with a stolen base.  Hopefully, CarGo can pick up where he left off before his steak and ail.

Star center fielder for the Chunichi Dragons, Kosuke Fukudome, has announced he will play in the majors in ’08. Likely teams at this point are the Padres, Cubs and White Sox, according to ESPN.

Last year, Fukudome had an injury-plagued year, hurting his right elbow, and only played in 81 games, missing almost sixty games and the Japan Series (their World Series, guess our World doesn’t include them). Reports are that he’s fully recovered, but even fully recovered what can we expect from Fukudome in ’08? Well, let’s look at his stats for his final year in Japan.

84/32/77/.285/8 are very worthwhile numbers, they are, however, not Fukudome’s stats in his final year. Huh? You thought this was about Fukudome? Well, it is. Those stats were Iwamura’s stats his final year in Japan. The year before in Japan, Iwamura hit 30 homers; in ’04, he hit 44 homers. Last year, Iwamura, still only at the coveted age of 27, hit 7 homers for the Rays.

Fukudome’s last season he played a full slate in Japan was 2006 when he had excellent numbers: 117/31/104/.351/11. But as we saw from Iwamura, Japanese players’ stats get lost in translation. Not to mention, Fukudome is three years older than Iwamura. His power isn’t peaking. If anything, it’s declining. If he ends up on the Padres, with their cavernous ballpark and coming off an injury-plagued year, Fukudome is liable to put up 80/15/80/.300/10 numbers. Not bad for a fifth outfielder, but you’re going to have to take him in second outfielder draft range because of the unknown quality he’ll have going for him. He’s got a great eye, and that’s not going to change, but he’s just not worth the gamble. My advice: steer clear of Fukudome.