Yesterday I was looking at my team, specifically at the NA players that my league doesn’t have a slot for, and saw Vidal Brujan and Jarren Duran smiling back at me. Edward Olivares waved at me and happily shed his NA skin, just so he could go 0-3 for me Sunday afternoon. It’s better than accumulating stats that don’t count, or, in the case of Jarren Duran, getting advice from Major League Baseball Ambassador of Blah Jon Jay. This little nugget from Masslive.com made me giggle: “One of [Alex] Cora’s best friends, former major leaguer Jon Jay, played for Team USA. ‘I told Jon Jay to make sure to help Duran out throughout the process,’ Cora said. ‘To talk to him about baseball and what it takes.’
Did I say giggle? I meant to say, “Scream very loudly like I’m Woody Harrelson in True Detective, watching that tape player in McConaghy’s storage space. Don’t talk to Jon Jay, especially about baseball! Every conversation with Jon Jay will result in Duran’s launch angle gains dropping by one full percentage point. David Ortiz or Manny weren’t available? Jarren Duran isn’t going to be show-stopping, but Christ alive, can you please have him talk to anyone else? Wade Boggs? Even after four racks of Keystone, I guarantee ole Wade would give Jarren more to chew on than The Federalist.
Speaking of Constitutional literalists, the Super-Two deadline is approaching. It’s buried in the third amendment, but it’s there. “No player shall, in times of the Super Two deadline, have said deadline be known to anyone. Especially Ben Franklin. Everyone thinks he’s a founding father. He’s a poseur and philistine.” James Madison, dragging Big Franky like a boss.
Every year I search for a hard date, and every year I’m reminded that it’s not a dang deadline. Players accrue service time at different rates. The first reddit thread that comes up is from 2017. We do this every year, and we obsess for the same reasons. One year I paid 75% of my FAAB for Juan Soto, and that move won me my league. It also hamstrung my waiver behavior, something I’ve committed to avoid moving forward.
Super Two is somewhere around June 10th, BUTTE…assume teams will wait 7-10 to make sure they properly manipulate their player’s service time. Hope that is helpful, but I also hope I’m wrong and they call up Duran and the shampoo man himself, Vidal Sassoon, ASAP. On to the Blurbs!
A Blurbstomp Reminder
We will analyze player blurbs from a given evening, knowing that 1-2 writers are usually responsible for all the player write ups posted within an hour of the game results. We will look at:
- Flowery Diction – how sites juice up descriptions of player performance
- Double Take – when a site contradicts a player valuation on back-to-back blurbs
- Hex Enduction Power – where a blurb can make an injury much, much worse
- Bob Nightengale Syndrome – instances of updates that don’t update anything
- Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award – Given to the player blurb that promises the most and delivers the least.
The hope is that by season’s end, we’ll all feel more confident about our player evaluations when it comes to the waiver wire. We will read blurbs and not be swayed by excessive superlatives, faulty injury reporting, and micro-hype. I will know that I have done my job when Grey posts, and there isn’t a single question about catchers that he did not address in his post. Onward to Roto Wokeness!
Flowery Diction
Ketel Marte is noticeably absent from the Diamondbacks starting lineup on Friday.
No reason has been given yet for his absence, though it’s possible that they’re just being cautious with the oft-injured outfielder. The 27-year-old has been sizzling at the plate since returning from the injured list and is now hitting .375/.414/.613 with four homers and 14 RBI in 21 games this season. Pavin Smith is starting in his place in center field and batting sixth for the D’Backs against Freddy Peralta and the Brewers.
Source: Rotoedgeworld.com
I love the phrase “noticeably absent.” This makes me think of school, when the kid with the perfect attendance awards isn’t in class, and everyone starts to panic and thinks they might be dead, only they went on a college trip, because colleges seem to think perfect attendance is some kind of miracle metric for college students, which it kind of is, as the kids from more financially stable communities and families get to school more often, so the college is guaranteed more precious fungible tokens up front. Er, Non-fungible? Sorry, I missed a bunch of school days. Going to look up “fungible” now to get that sweet etymology kick my Monday always needs.
Anywhatsit, every single player who is out of the lineup gets a blurb, especially a top 50 hitter. One could argue that anyone missing from a lineup is noticeable where blurbs are concerned. One does! One makes that argument at this moment! Smiley face emoji, only the pate is replaced an explosion cloud, and that smiley face is probably dead now.
Double Take!
It’s back! Ready to strain your neck with incredulity? First, from Rotoworld on May 28th:
Willie Calhoun tripled on Thursday in the Rangers’ loss to the Mariners.
Calhoun lined out his first two plate appearances before smacking a two-out triple to left field in the sixth inning. It was his lone hit in four at-bats in the low-scoring affair as the Rangers managed just six hits combined in the shutout loss. The 26-year-old outfielder has morphed into an everyday player, hitting .262/.329/.438 with 14 runs scored, five homers and 13 RBI across 143 plate appearances this season.
Then, from Rotoworld on June 4th:
Willie Calhoun went 2-for-3 with an RBI single and a run scored Friday versus the Rays.
Calhoun was in the middle of the Rangers’ three-run fourth inning against Josh Fleming. The 26-year-old started out red-hot after coming off the injured list in mid-April, but it’s been a struggle for him the past couple of weeks. Even including Friday’s game, he’s hitting .207 (12-for-58) with zero homers over his last 16 games. Calhoun was hitting leadoff for a while, but he was in the No. 8 spot on Friday.
So which one is it, Rotoworld? Is he the player that has “morphed into an everyday player” or has it been a struggle for him the past couple of weeks? I had a multi-player trade in the works including Calhoun, and then that blurb hit on June 4th, and suddenly the other manager ghosted on negotiations. I had noticed he was starting to blah on me, but was hopeful his years of hype and relative health, plus the blurb, could woo someone. That blurb from the 28th was so undeserved, I want it back! Please sir, please. One more blurb sir. With more heapings of undeserved praise for only the players that I own, sir!
Prospect Watch
Royals prospect Jackson Kowar will make his major league debut on Monday night against the Angels.
The 24-year-old right-hander has been dominant through his first six starts at Triple-A Omaha, posting a ridiculous 0.85 ERA, 0.88 WHIP and 41/10 K/BB ratio over 31 2/3 innings of work. This doesn’t feel like the type of move that the Royals would make just for a spot start, expect him to also work against the Athletics in Oakland on Saturday — provided he isn’t obliterated by the Angels. The talent is certainly there, making him a worthwhile pickup in mixed leagues where he’s available.
Source: Rotoedgeworld.com
This is a good example of Prospect Hypnosis. “This doesn’t feel like the type of move that the Royals would make just for a spot start.” Do you know who else people wrote this about? Daniel “I absolutely Heavens to Murgatroided Your Ratios” Lynch, from the self-same Kansas City Royals. It’s not the same pitcher obvy, as Kowar has actually pitched above Single-A. Going back to Lynch, what did he do to Royals management to deserve that psyche smackdown? Did he say something mean about Alex Gordon? Maybe it was about Alex Gordon’s head being smaller than his neck? I hope Lynch’s confidence isn’t destroyed, and I generally root for all prospects to succeed so that MLB teams can’t keep paying them just above poverty levels.
Hex Enduction Power
Stephen Strasburg was removed from his start Tuesday night against the Braves due to an apparent injury.
Strasburg’s velocity was down throughout the abbreviated outing and Nationals manager Dave Martinez finally pulled the 32-year-old right-hander after he got struck on the left wrist by a comebacker in the bottom of the second inning. That was more of a glancing blow, though, and the early exit probably had to do with something else. Maybe his shoulder? There should be an update soon from Atlanta.
Source: Rotoedgeworld.com
“Maybe his shoulder?” Never have more cursed words been blurbed onto a player. It turned out to be a neck strain, but that doesn’t make the blurb wrong. As soon as a blurb starts to guess at the nature of an undisclosed injury, I assume the worst, and boy howdy, a baseball player absolutely needs their neck to be successful. Can’t imagine anyone playing baseball without their neck.
Oh. Forget what I said.
Bob Nightengale Award/Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award
Luis Urias is starting at second base for the Brewers on Friday night against Matt Peacock and the Diamondbacks.
It’s pretty telling that in the wake of Kolten Wong (oblique) landing on the injured list, that Craig Counsell is turning to Urias to be his regular second baseman instead of the slumping Kolten Wong. For the season, Urias is hitting .227/.326/.420 with seven long balls, 25 RBI and a pair of stolen bases. Expect him to see most of the action at second base with Hiura sidelined, which gives him plenty of value in NL-only and deep mixed leagues.
Source: Rotoedgeworld.com
This is both a simple gaffe and weird self-owning wish fulfillment. Rotoedgeworld has a thing for Keston Hiura. They ranked him in the top 10 for ROS 2nd basemen in May after he was demoted to the minors. “…Instead of the slumping Kolten Wong.” They meant Hiura, but something stopped them. I figured we were done there, but then they did slip Hiura in with, “…with Hiura sidelined.” That is some major wishful thinking. If Hiura is injured, then we won’t have to explain why we were all in on him despite the fact that he strikes out more times than the same ads play on mlb.tv.
That’s it for this week. As always, I appreciate the reads, and the comments as well. I even appreciate the guy who read my bit on Three True Outcomes begging people not to blame it on the current state of hitting on the majors – only to write a forever amount of words doing exactly that. Stay real people, and stop writing Grey catcher questions! Just pick up the catchers who are hitting, or use Rudy’s Hittertron tool. Or use the Buy/Sell tool! Your gut is so wonderful, you should trust it as much as you’re willing to abuse it with hot chips and the like.
