The beginning of any fantasy season is the most wonderful time of the year. After mental masturbating over rosters, listening to pods, and reading prognostication after prognostication, the little white ball finally travels from mound to plate, and the live scoring flickers and lights up the screen. We fantasy nerds latch onto every play and either go into bouts of depression when the players we mentally masturbated over all offseason do not perform, or victory lap without clothes when our “guys” exceed even our most erotic dreams and desires. After about a month, the honeymoon period ends and the true grind begins. Until then, though, there will be overreactions galore, for better or for worse, ’till death do us part. On April 1st, Trayce Thompson went 3-for-4 with uno, dos, tres homeruns and 8 RBI. Brother Klay Thompson did not play on that night, so Trayce took care of all the treys for the Thompson family. He was on SportsCenter all day and all night. Now, most of you will not and have not fallen for the banana in the tailpipe, but he was scooped up by close to 15% of owners in ESPN leagues. NFBC owners were not immune either, as Thompson is now rostered on 18% of teams. Even though I have assumptions about many things, I do like to do my due diligence….just in case.
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One Man’s Trash: Adios Adolis?
March 30, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 13 Commentsby: Son
Throughout this preseason, I have dived deep into the trash bin, trying to unearth some diamands in the…smelly trash. Ewwwww. P. U. The things I do for y’all. Before I continue, I have to give a shoutout to Laura, for she is the deep league specialist, and I recommend that you all read her work if you don’t already. Now, I like to have some semblance of balance in my life, so I’m going to flip my world upside down, don the hater cap, and throw internet tomatoes on a player who I feel has a chance to disappoint this season. I got no shame in my game, as I’m playing don’t pass at the table if I sense a disturbance in the Force. The stink eye I get from the others ain’t no thing. So, I’m prepared for the internet tomatoes that will more than likely be thrown my way, but such is the life of a hater.
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Down By The Meadows
March 16, 2023 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 15 Commentsby: Son
After 40 days and 40 nights of rain in Los Angeles, a respite finally arrived, so I slipped on the Vans and ventured out. The birds were chirping, the fresh after-storm smell was pungent, the sun was glistening off the puddles on the ground, and the Vans were getting soaked because Son is an idiot. As I walked in a trance-like state, I was brought back to reality when a car zoomed around the corner as I was about to step into the crosswalk. Furious, and about to fire off a salvo of expletives, I hesitated because I heard giggling. Not the teenage girl giggling that I’m scared to death of hearing when my daughter gets to the age. No, this was unadulterated joyous and free giggling. I looked left. I looked right. I looked down. Why did I look down? Anyways, I finally triangulated where the sound was coming from with my bat-like abilities. My eyes finally calibrated to expose a meadow, not one flush with green grass and blooming flowers. No, this Austin Meadows may be made of glass but could provide plenty of power. And he’s cheap! Let’s dig in.
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Another Yas
March 9, 2023 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 2 Commentsby: Son
This could be my last baseball post at Razzball. If so, it’s been real and you all shall be missed. The reason why I have my head on a swivel and hear Grey’s cackles reverberting through my dome constantly is because I write up players he hates. In addition, I may be committing the cardinal sin being a writer at Razzball as this post is about a catcher! Yeah, I done F’d up. But such is the life of being the trash man at Razzball. It’s a thankless job but someone has to do it. Last week, I brought you riveting analysis of one Mike Yastrzemski. This week? Another Yas shall be written about: Yasmani Grandal. I am impervious to those internet tomatoes being thrown at my head because I’ve got my helmet on. Suck it!
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Hold The Mustard On My Yastrzemski
March 2, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 10 Commentsby: Son
This is a story as old as time. You enter the draft with the fervor of a hormone-raged teenager while donning a cap with YOLO embroidered on the front. Outfield? It’s super deep. Let me handle my business with the rest of the squad. So, you’ve got one hand on the steering wheel while the other is trying to find some good tunes on the radio as you cruise down the fantasy draft highway. The windows are down and the wind blows the hair into Picasso art. Round marker after round marker whizz by, then a dread encompasses the cabin of the car like a nasty fart; I need outfielders. With leagues requiring five outfielders, the once vast player pool dissipates quickly like a Sahara watering hole during the summer. One name that is often dredged up is Mike Yastrzemski. He is far from sexy and there’s a reason he’s in the dredges in the first place, but is he trash or a diamond in the rough?
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: Am I A Believer In Christian?
February 23, 2023 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 14 Commentsby: Son
Life is all about utility. But one person’s concept of utility is different from another’s. Someone with tons of disposable income may view having a Ferrari as useful because it makes them feel better. Another who is living paycheck to paycheck may view that as silly. It very well may be, but it doesn’t matter because it serves a purpose for the owner. Religion is a hot bed topic that can spoil the most tastiest of dinners. What ever side of the debate you are on, though, it doesn’t matter because religion is a personal experience that provides utility for that particular person. The same goes for fantasy baseball. We all have different perspectives and values on players and go about roster construction in unique ways. One man’s trash could very well be another’s treasure. Which brings me to Christian Arroyo. Who? Yeah, this is not going to be a sexy piece, although most of these aren’t, but whatever. I leave those for the real writers on the baseball side. Arroyo is being drafted as the 490th overall player in NFBC drafts from February so he won’t be an option for standard leagues, but could he have utility in deeper formats?
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: The Blacker The Berrios, The….
February 16, 2023 | 2023 Fantasy Baseball, One Man's Trash | 20 Commentsby: Son
….sweeter the juice? Well, Jose Berrios got bludgeoned so much last season that the outside was bruised to a purple haze, which would mean that the pulp inside was squishy and juicy. Was it sweet, though? Let’s ask those who selected him with the 76th overall pick on average in NFBC drafts last season:
Please, blog, may I have some more?There have been three Jake the Snakes that I can recall. There was Jake “The Snake” Roberts who starred in the WWE, letting his python terrorize and constrict his opponents, sometimes before but usually after DDT’ing them into submission. Jake “The Snake” Plummer excelled in football at the Arizona State University, leading them to a one-loss season and fourth overall ranking in 1996. He did play in the NFL for 10 seasons, albeit a middling career with 161 touchdowns and 161 interceptions. I respect the symmetry. The sequel is rarely better than the original iteration. Now we have Jake “The Snake” McCarthy of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Has anyone called him “The Snake” but me? Niet, but this is the power that I wield from my mom’s basement. He doesn’t have the ferocious power of Roberts’ DDT and never got as many panties wet as Plummer did at ASU, but McCarthy has been doing his thing and been a viable edition to “The Snake” triology. Let’s dig in if he is truly worthy of it.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Angels are not from Los Angeles. Get the F outta here with that Manute Bol s**t. Grey has ranted about the topic more than once in the past but this is a topic that must never be left to die. The distance from Los Angeles to Anaheim is around 26 miles which equates to approximately a 45 minute drive with minimal traffic. Narrator: There is never minimal traffic. Do you know what’s around 25 miles away from New York City? White Plains. If you drive 14 more miles, you’re in Stamford, Connecticut. From San Francisco, add 12 miles and you’re in San Jose. After I start my GoFundMe account and get enough funds to purchase the team from Arte Moreno, my first order of business is to change the logo:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Clink. Clink. Clink. The sound was mesmerizing as the blacksmith expertly smushed his hammer down onto the glowing piece layed before him. Clink. Clink. Clink. It’s an arduous process to turn a raw piece of steel into a weapon of extraordinary magnitude. Heat it up so that it becomes malleable, dump it in water to strengthen it, then repeat the process until a sword emerges, blings, mesmerizes, then slices and dices as it’s intended to do. Unfortunately, the proliferation of weapons powered by gunpowder made swords obsolete, but swords could still have utility in the right situation. At the end of the day, in close quarters, they can still slice and dice. Justin Steele of the Chicago Cubs has taken time to be forged, and doesn’t have the explosive nature of some of his contemporaries. That said, he has been useful and could be employed in the right situation. Let’s dig in to see how potent this Steele truly is.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Being in the zone has been characterized a multitude of ways. Having no worries. Being in complete control. In sports, it has been associated with hot streaks. Even the analytics community knows that they are a thing but, unfortunately, many try to use the small sample sizes of hot streaks in order to predict the future. As a result, hot streaks and being in the zone have been tainted somewhat. I used to play volleyball competitively and there were numerous times when the action would slow down and I’d know where to go before it happened. In hoops, there were times when I would just throw up junk (Heat Check!!!) and voila….buckets. In most games I’ve played, especially video games, there have been times when I’ve been at one with the game ala Neo in the Matrix. That is what Ramon Urias of the Baltimore Orioles has been doing over the past month: .397/.426/.707 slash with five home runs and a .310 ISO! Over the last 30 days, he’s number 29 on the Razzball Player Rater. I traded for him in 30-teamer at the end of June and I didn’t realize the extent of his recent heater. Back in early June, Laura recommended Urias. He was a meh player back then with multi-eligibility, but now? He’s In the Ramon. Can it last? Let’s dig in.
Please, blog, may I have some more? One Man’s Trash: This Carpenter Is Making Jesus Jealous
July 20, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball | 8 Commentsby: Son
The most famous carpenter in all of history is Jesus. Some may argue that he never built any buildings. That may or may not be true. We just don’t know. That said, he basically layed the foundation for a religion that has existed for thousands of years. Whether you’re religious or not, the fact that millions celebrate his birthday and know his name is testament enough. For those who cannot relate, it’s akin to someone getting millions of likes and retweets two thousand years after their death. Yeah, it’s like that so pay some respect. One of the most important events in the life of Jesus was his death and subsequent resurrection. Matt Carpenter died from a baseball perspective three years ago, but he has risen in 2022 and is doing something that could be greater than the advent of Christianity! Hyperbole alert! Fine, maybe not on that scale but it’s been historic. Normally, I break down a player in this piece to decipher if one should buy or sell. While that information will be illuminated, this will be more of an homage to what Carpenter has built so far.
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