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Hey, Royals, you’re stupid.  Call up, Mike Moustakas.  Okay, with that out of the way, let’s figure out who Moustakas is and will be.  Last year, he spent time at Double and Triple-A.  Not at the same time, that would be some Multiplicity shizz.  In 484 ABs, he hit 36 homers and batted .322.  As they say in Moustakas’ home country, “Wow.”  (He’s from L.A.)  Then they would throw a glass into the fireplace and spray some Windex.  This past year saw Moustakas named the Texas League Player of the Year, which is more prestigious than the Koo Koo Roo Employee of the Year, but only barely.  As his skipper said, “(Moustakas) missed the first 16 games of the season and by midseason he was leading the league in all the categories.  And where’s Gilligan?!”  It’s nice, but what can we expect of Mike Moustakas for 2011 fantasy baseball?

Assuming the peasant Royals get their act together, Moustakas should get a chance to break camp with the club, but will probably be a Mike Stanton in 2010 type call-up.  I don’t think we see him until June 1st at the earliest.  If he breaks camp with the team, he’ll be a quality sleeper in mixed leagues, 12 or deeper.  But really that’s only true because of his position.  If he were in the outfield, I’d tell you to ignore him in most mixed leagues.  Best case scenario, 50/17/75/.280 in 350 at-bats.  Now his extended family in Astoria, Queens would probably say, “Wow.”  (Astoria, Queens is in New York.  They say wow there too.)  Then they would take the Nia Vardalos poster off the wall, wrap it around a rotating shawarma and take turns kissing it.  Actually, now that I write that projection it seems on the high side.  I’d compare him to Pedro Alvarez in 2010 for power, but he will give a better average.  At the age of 22, Moustakas is set to either be the Royals 2nd 3rd base casualty since Alex Gordon or the 1st “Thank God He Didn’t Turn Out To Be Alex Gordon,” 3rd base prospect since Alex Gordon.