Mike Gonzalez is now the closer of the Braves. Right? Right…. Kinda. He’s going to be closing games when he’s available. Cox may take it easy on him since he’s coming back from Tommy John surgery. Gonzalez was not rushed through rehab, so that’s a good thing. Barring an injury, there’s no reason why Gonzalez can’t save 20 games this year. (<—– That’s my projections for Gonzalez.) Soriano might grab another couple and Acosta might snatch a few more. Mike Gonzalez is not some schmohawk that just turned up on the Braves roster. He was an effective closer on the Pirates. He can be again. If Ryan Franklin and Salomon Torres can earn saves, then goddamnit, so can Mike Gonzalez. Okay, now go pick him up. As if he’s still on waivers in any league.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball yesterday:

Carlos Zambrano – Left the game with an apparent injury to his shoulder. Maybe it was the 3.7 million pitches he’s thrown in the last year or two.

Jeremy Guthrie – Guess his line. Seriously. I’ll wait. *taps foot* Okay, I’ll tell you. 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 1 BB, 8 Ks, no decision.

Russell Branyan – Do I have to mention him? People know what’s here, right? Three Outcome Dude — HR/K/BB.

Oliver Perez – **Writing this before the game** 6 IP, 7 Ks, 2.00 WHIP, 6.00 ERA **okay, back** I was high on Ks, but right on for IP, WHIP and ERA. I have to say, I didn’t feel confident about this one because he’s so erratic. I started him in one league where I’m hurting for pitching and now I’ve dropped him for Campillo (whose next start is against the M’s).

James Loney – Hit HR yesterday, now hitting over .390 for June. He still yawnstipates me.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – Sore back that could land him on the DL. Headley started at 3rd and hit a HR. Yo, Kouz, you’ve been Pipp’d. (Now Headley just needs to start another 2129 straight games. Just in case, we should call him Biscuit Pants.)

Barry Zito – 5 R in 2 IP.  SI.com informs us he’s not provided adequate value for his large free agent contract.  Thanks, SI.com.  I guess it could be worse – they could’ve put him on the cover and jinxed him.  That prevented a maple bat from shattering and slicing his guitar strumming hand. Hey, Zito — stubble is for winners!

Johnny Damon – He’s hitting .433 in 67 AB since June 1st. Cust kayin’.

Homer Bailey – Back to the minors. I have a vision of what I’m going to write in March of ’09, “Don’t draft Homer Bailey. Way too risky. BTW, I love these new flying cars.”

Chase Utley – He is 0 for his last 20.  Just as disturbing, a cat in Philadelphia was left stranded in a tree as a little girl cried for help.   We still believe in ya, Chase.  It’s just a bad week, Champ, right?

Nomar Garciaparra – Hit a home run and is due to be back next week as the Dodgers SS. Sounds like everything’s going right for Nomar, but he looked glum after the game. When asked why, he said, “I forgot to make Mia lunch. She’s gonna kill me.” Aw, Nomar. That’s a sad emoticon for you.

Geovany Soto – Hitting .213 since June 1.  Next thing you know he’ll be picking a fight with Carlos Zambrano.

Hard Rock Cafe – It was announced that a Hard Rock Cafe will run a restaurant in the Yankee outfield.  Can’t wait to hear this guy jam there.

Sidney Ponson – The Yanks just signed him.  Hey Bawston, I got your Colon right here!

  1. Freak says:

    Soto had two hits last night. A double and a home run.

    And in his last 7 games he’s hitting .345 with 3 runs, 2 HRs and 4 rbis.

    *sticks tounge out*

    I may have just ordered a Soto jersey, bear with me.

  2. Freak says:

    I have never been able to spell tongue. So sue me.

  3. Steve says:

    Guys – what do you expect from Drew the rest of the year? The guy in my league has him on the bench so he is a realistic (and tempting) trade target (I have Renteria as my SS).

    Or should I just grab Keppinger off the wire?

  4. Steve says:

    I’m referring to Stephen Drew, obviously.

  5. Joe says:

    Grey, i want to pick up and start Garza tomorrow, who should i be dropping, Maddux or Wolf? I’ll probably want to get whoever i drop back for a future favourable home start if i can, but i don’t really want to start either of them against a hot Tigers lineup. I just dropped Kouz to activate Gonzo.

    I also have Sabathia, E Santana, Guthrie, Parra and Baker on my staff. I’m -70 in IP.

  6. Jeff says:

    Hopefully Sidney Ponson just became the highest paid waiter at the Hard Rock Cafe

  7. Joe says:

    One more thing Grey- Andrew Miller just got dropped. Is he worth putting in a claim for, looking at my pitchers in my post above?

  8. Zebo says:

    @Grey: do I drop Headley or Aviles to activated Mike Gonzalez?

  9. Frank Rizzo says:

    Hey everyone….what’re thoughts on Clint Barmes? Is he going to get the 2b position when he comes back next week? Baker is raking right now and Tulo will be claiming his SS spot again next week. Barmes was so solid before getting hurt, but I’m wondering if they keep in the hot hand in Baker.

  10. RT says:

    Parra is still a FA in my league. Every time I look I am so tempted to snag him given his June numbers… Should I or shouldn’t I? I’m figuring him instead of Rasner as my fifth.

  11. p0rk burn says:

    @RT: Parra is a beast at home. He’s really only had 3 or so bad games and most of those were in the phone booth that is Minute Maid. I like him better than Rasner and I’m 95% certain that Grey does too.

  12. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    I’m dead last in the Razzball Commenter’s League. Last is first, right guys?

    Great advice on this site, by the way. You guys were like “Hey Phil, you gotta draft four pitchers in the first four rounds,” and I’m like, “Aw guys, but that doesn’t make any sense. What if they end up sucking?” And Rudy was like, “They won’t suck, because you’re awesome Phil, and we give the best advice ANYWHERE… you TOTALLY gotta take Johan with your 9th pick, and Peavy with your 2nd pick.” And I was all like, “Okay, Mr’s. Gamble and Albright, I’ll take your advice, but doesn’t it make more sense to take Fielder or something? Oh well… I’m gonna GO FOR IT.” And you were all like “You won’t regret it, IowaCubs.” And I was like “Yeah, I know I won’t regret it. Not like the time I went on the Bartolo Colon diet and ended up in the hospital, blind and sterile. Try and explain THAT to the wife.”

  13. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Always bet on deer meat.

  14. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I like Drew better than Renteria and Keppy, but it’s a sorta lesser of three evils thing.

    @Joe: Maddux. BTW, is Campillo already picked up? I’m starting him. Avoid Miller.

    @Jeff: Ha, that’s funny.

    @Zebo: Who are the guys in front of them that allows you to drop them?

    @Frank Rizzo: Barmes? Really? What do you have at 2nd that makes you look at him?

    @RT: Parra is much better than Rasner.

    @IowaCubs: Someone woke up on the funny side of the bed today.

  15. JR says:

    What everyone’s feeling on Kuroda? He just got dropped in my league and I’m in the market for a starter. I know he might go to the DL but I can be a little patient with him if there’s a return later on…

    He’s a warrior, right? No stinkin’ sore shoulder is going to hold him back, right?

  16. Joe says:

    Yeah, Campillo’s gone. Would you value Garza above Maddux long-term? Maddux’s home splits are beautiful, and that’s all i’m using him for.

    Other notable SP’s available as well as Garza are Jo-Jo Reyes, who i see was sparkling at Arlington last night, Wandy Rodriguez, another home only start guy, Masterson, and Jurrjens.

    You rank any of those schmohawks ahead of the pitchers i currently have, or would you drop Heath Bell, Swisher, Gomez or Headley for them?

  17. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: I’m looking at Barmes strictly as a backup for the 2b/SS position. Escobar was that guy until Furcal got hurt so now Escobar is my full time SS. Kinsler is my 2b. I’d just like to find a solid 2b/SS guy with potential. Barmes was that, putting up 5 tool numbers until hurt. He was a real asset to a lot of rosters. I’m wondering if he’ll get a chance to do that again.

  18. Mike says:

    @Grey: Ive been stashing Mike Gonzalez for a while now, Rafael Soriano is on waivers is he a necessary handcuff?

  19. Grey

    Grey says:

    @JR: You wanna pick up a guy with a bum pitching shoulder?

    @Joe: I would pick them up in this order — Jurrjens, Jo-Jo, Garza, Maddux, Wandy — This is not necessarily the order that they might be helpful, but this is the order that most excites me. What I mean, when you’re dealing with fifth starters you don’t want boring, you want upside. That’s what 1st thru 4th starters are for, which you have. Hope this helps.

    @Frank Rizzo: Any Rockies starter could be helpful, especially at home. Their MI situation is murky when Tulo comes back. So you may have a guy that is platooning with two other schmohawks. Then again, he may pull away from those guys and play well. Is he capable? Sure. Is it likely? Eh.

    @Mike: Depends if you really need the saves and who you are dropping to grab Soriano. I do think he’s going to have injury problems all year. I’d probably pass unless I was hard up for relievers.

  20. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Grey: Please rate: Parra, Garza, Campillo, Charlie Morton.

  21. wakeNbake says:

    why isnt anyone talking about Jo-Jo Reyes hes been great

  22. wakeNbake says:

    @Grey: sry, I never caught that…hes really suprised me. If you had to choose btwn Reyes and Nolasco…go Reyes?

  23. wakeNbake says:

    I read this and couldnt stop laughing: Explaining what happened when Jose Reyes put up a fight when asked to leave Tuesday’s game with a hamstring injury, manager Jerry Manuel joked: “I told him next time he does that I’m going to get my blade out and cut him. I’m a gangster. You go gangster on me, I’m going to have to get you. You do that again, I’m going to cut you right on the field.”

  24. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wakeNbake: Go Reyes.

    Wow, that is a great quote. Where’s that from? Link please.

  25. Zebo says:

    @Grey: I have Wright at 3B and Yunel and Phillips & Cano at SS and 2B, I am thinking about wait and see with my hoard of closers, so I want to drop Headley (he homered though) or Aviles to clear room for Mike gonzalez’s roster spot.

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wakeNbake: Thanks.

    @Zebo: You sound like you should be trading guys. I guess drop Aviles for Gonzalez, but you might regret it.

    EDIT: Typo.

  27. nick says:

    alright guys i need some help, considering I have been in 6th/8th place in a shallow league of 8 team roto for over a month! My pitching is at about the middle of the league but I’m far behind in RBIs,Runs,HRs,Avg!

    1B-CO JACK


    Mike Gonzalez, considering a pickup and drop of Votto as my Closers are all on shitty teams & I just don’t like Votto

    Also available on pitcher side: Duchsherer, Izzy, Guthrie, Campillo & probably even more…

    On the hitting side there is: Reynolds,Cantu,Murphy,Guzman,Jacobs,Dye,Church,Victorino, O. Cabrera…

    Any Advice ?

  28. RT says:

    I’ve been spot starting Josh Banks in Petco with success. I thought there was no way I would start him against the Yanks right now (I didn’t)… But I gotta say, he is throwin’ down today for the Friars.

    Until he makes a full pass throught the league, I suspect he is probably good for a few more outings.

  29. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @nick: Boy, shallow leagues are a bitch. You’ve got Lee, Quentin and Sparkakis and you’re still way behind in HRs?

    I’d suggest packaging CoJack and a pitcher and trying to get Prince Fielder. He’s probably your best bet for someone likely to go off in the second half and help you in the power categories. Do this fast before he heats up. In an 8 team league, CoJack doesn’t seem like a viable 1B (I assume you had Ortiz there before).

    If you can’t get Prince, target someone with power upside: Maybe Teixeira, aka PABST.

    Also: Sure, drop Votto, he makes me yawn and Gonzo’s a good pick up.

  30. nick says:

    CoJack & Zambrano for Fielder ? Or am i giving up too much

  31. RT says:

    Given ‘brano’s shoulder? I’d do it easily

  32. Grey

    Grey says:

    @RT: Yeah, I picked him up on one team and he’s done well. (I also dropped him on one team, which I don’t regret that much.)

    @nick: Yes, go for Fielder.

  33. RT says:


    Started Burnett instead today.. Uh… Yeah…

  34. p0rk burn says:

    @nick: I only have one piece of advice for you. Don’t ever mention O.Cab again. He’s dead to me. I don’t care that he went yard today.

    Speaking of yard today, how ’bout that Branyan fella eh? Sorry Grey, but I’m going to continue rooting for him to stay on your bench. He’s doing good things for me in the RCL right now.

  35. cockyphoenix says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: hahaha that’s amazing. I know none of my players are safe from constant verbal abuse.

  36. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: One day P0rk Burn was standing in the rain. He wasn’t sure how to get home. He looked out into the street for a ride. And what did he see?

    THE O-CAB steaming toward him!

    He tried to hail THE O-CAB but THE O-CAB sailed through a huge puddle and splashed muddy water all over him!

    Moral: Don’t disrespect THE O-CAB.

  37. p0rk burn says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I wouldn’t let O.Cab give me a ride home even if he offered me candy or puppies. O.Cab is the bad touch. I hope his feud with Renteria turns into Columbia’s Tupac v. Biggie.

  38. Zebo says:

    @everyone & especially Grey: I know Harang is a good pitcher, and he is Grey’s boy, but there is a limit. Last year before all star break, he was 9-2, he is 2-9 now. He just got hit hard again, by the lowly dodgers. He gave up 10 hits and bunch of walks in just 5 innings. Is he dead arm? Adjustment period? Contemplating early retirement? I am getting sick of this.

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Zebo: I like him even more now.

  40. p0rk burn says:

    How many more inside-the-park homeruns does Prince need to hit before he’s the all-time leader in that stat by a fat guy?

  41. wakeNbake says:

    The Blue Jays absolutely fucking suck. Dave Bush has no hit them through 6

  42. wakeNbake says:

    and I cant stand looking at Alex Rios anymore….he got dropped to 6th in the lineup

  43. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @wakeNbake: I feel you brother. All you can do now is bench him and pretend he doesn’t exist. Pretend he had a season-ending injury and is on the DL. That way, when he has a second-half resurge, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

    That said, if you don’t own him, he’s a good buy-low candidate. Plus, the 15 steals ain’t bad.

    @Zebo: Don’t lose faith. I just made a play for him. This is how championships are won — by getting players on the cheap when they suck! *

    *this doesn’t really help you if you already own him.

  44. Mike says:

    *****News for all Gagne owners*****

    Brewers manager Ned Yost plans on putting Gagne in a setup role, with Salomon Torres keeping the closing job. “Closing, setting up, [pitching the] third inning, I don’t care. That’s the last of my worries. I just want to compete, get back on the mound,” he said.

  45. RT says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins:

    I just cannot believe Rios will surge in the second. He looks absolutely lost at the dish

  46. nick says:

    dropped Votto…picked up Dye…too bad I missed his 2 home runs today, damnit!

    Trade pending: CoJack/Zambrano for Fielder..doubt he will accept though

    What do you guys think of D-backs Chris Young ? I have had him since the start of the season but I’m getting frustrated with him and his lousy batting average & inconsistency!

  47. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @RT: yeah, but everyone looks lost when they are slumping. When they get hot, they no longer look lost.

    He is a) young with b) good skills. So… hard to imagine he’s washed up at 27. Remember that season two years ago (I think) when Wright didn’t homer for two months. It happens.

    Don’t count on Rios to top his 24 from last year, but he did hit 8 in one month last season, so he can rack up numbers quickly when he’s on.

  48. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nick: You should tell the guy with Fielder that you will murder him if he doesn’t accept. Always works!

    Not a fan of Krispie. Ks too much, average is a drain. He’s Mike Cameron Jr.

    EDIT: Typo.

  49. Mike says:

    Should we keep a close eye on C.J Wilson? Hes been bad and he just got replaced in the 9th after giving up 2 hits a walk and an ER with only getting 1 out. Guardado next in line?

  50. nick says:

    Yea C.J. is garbage…i remember in a post a few weeks back Grey said he was “Brain Freeze”….guess he was right, haha

  51. knighttown says:


    I guess Harang is not the buy low candidate I thought he was. I just offered Carlos Quentin and it got rejected without even a counter offer. Surprised and actually not disappointed.

    @Wake and Bake

    I had the misfortune of watching the Jays attempting to tie up a one run game the other night. Up to the plate, in order strode Greg Zaun, David Eckstein, Marco Scutaro, Brad Wilkerson and finally Joe Inglett. What do they have, like 9 #9 hitters? If the ’27 Yankees had Murderer’s Row, that’s gotta be Unpaid Parking Ticket Row.

  52. Grey

    Grey says:

    @knighttown: Unpaid Parking Ticket Row — ha

  53. Mike says:

    @knighttown: it really is rediculous, their hitting is god awful. I mean I like Rios but im just frustrated with him, I just dont like that he is their only good hitter other than Wells who is up and down also.

  54. knighttown says:

    @Mike: I’m sure Joe Inglett plays bridge with my Dad…

  55. BigFatHippo says:

    I trade Nathan, Bruce

    Get Carlos Beltran

    Keeper league and Beltran will be too expensive. Tied for 1st in Saves. Good move?

  56. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: You can’t get someone a bit more solid than Beltran? — I will say I do like the trade for you, but I’d try and get someone else.

  57. BigFatHippo says:

    He’s got 7 OFers and offered me Drew and J Guillen for just Slinklo. I can’t do a 2 for 1.

    Beltran is the most stable he has. I already have Maggs and Grady, could try to get Mauer from him but have no Catcher to give.

    Nathan, Bruce for Mauer? You know how I am at C.

  58. BigFatHippo says:

    Shields just struck out a side of Cubbies in the 4th.

    Waitress-“What would you like with your Porterhouse?”

    Shields-“I’ll have a side of Cub meat.”

  59. Freak says:

    I give Sizemore and Maddux to get Beltran and Kazmir.

    I should do that, right?

  60. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Freak: Y.E.S.

  61. RT says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins:

    Baron. I don’t necessarily disagree. But people forget something about Rios — he struggles with swing repetition… Thus, it is hard for him to “find” his swing when he has lost it. 20/80 is realistic and probable IMO

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