I’m a bit rookie pitcher-phobic. Waking up in a dank dungeon missing a kidney after being slipped a roofie from a rookie pitcher will do that to you. By the by, all dungeons are dank, don’t tell Previous Sentence Grey. This is why I tend to focus mostly on bats when I’m breaking down the rookies that will impact 2016 fantasy baseball (take that deft SEO, Bleacher Report!). Today, I turn my lazy, left googly eye towards a rookie pitcher. Before I wrote up this rookie pitcher post, I decided that I wanted a guy that was on the cusp of breaking into the majors, after diligently researching what a cusp was. So, it’s not a plural misspelled cup? Noted. This guy I found (don’t look at the title, it’ll ruin the surprise) should’ve been up in the majors last year. In fact, I wrote a Buy for him in August. Okay, okay, his name is Jose Berrios. Hi ho the Berrios, snitches! Here’s what I said last August, “If I could quickly evaluate the Twins current crop of starters that are prospblocking Berrios: Garbage, More Garbage, Utter Garbage, Shirley Manson in Garbage, Magic Garbage. (Magic Garbage is Utah garbage where you find soiled magic underpants.) I haven’t even started talking about how Berrios was bred in a lab in Knott’s Berry Farm by the founder of the boysenberry, Rudolph Boysen, whose grandchild killed his parents and is currently behind bars (true story; yes, Dateline is dropping the ball by not featuring this). The only thing that’s been stopping me from adding Berrios in every league is I have no idea when he’ll be called up.” And that’s me quoting me! The Twins’ pitching rotation isn’t going to be better come April. That’s why Berrios will start the year with the club. Anyway, what can we expect of Jose Berrios for 2016 fantasy baseball?
In Triple-A, Berrios threw 75 2/3 IP and had a 2.62 ERA with a 9.9 K/9 and a 1.7 BB/9. That’s Sizzlean that you leave on top of your camel’s head as you gallop through the Sahara heat. The funny thing (it’s not funny), you don’t usually see that kind of sample size — that’s what she said! — in Triple-A. You know why you don’t see 75 2/3 IP in Triple-A, because most major league teams promote guys who are as good as Berrios. Most teams also don’t tie a player’s paycheck to a string then drag said check right in front of the player’s feet, just out of their reach. A team like the Tigers would’ve promoted Berrios about two years ago. No fear, John Deere, Berrios is still only 21 years old. It will be very hard for the Twins to explain to anyone why Berrios isn’t starting the year in the majors. They are cheap, so I guess holding him down until June is a small fear. Speaking of cheap, there’s nothing better than a cheap Halloween costume and one that is comfortable, so this year I dressed in track pants, hoodie and sneakers. Basically what I wear every day from fall to spring. You’re likely saying, “Dude, that’s not a costume.” Sure, it is. Whenever anyone asked me what I was, I told them I was James Bond on casual Fridays at the office. I’ve seen people peg Berrios as having #3 fantasy starter upside, but I see him landing eventually with a barely-2 BB/9 and 9 K/9 from his mid-90s MPH fastball and plus-curve. That makes him a borderline fantasy ace in the making. Of course, as a rookie, there will be stretches where he doesn’t look like that, but want a guy that could come on and give you a Shelby Miller in 2015-type year? Berrios has that potential. Assuming the Twins are less cheap than casual Fridays Bond, I’ll give him 180 IP and the line of 8-10/3.54/1.09/164, and someone I’d target at the back end of my staff in all leagues.
