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Weekends are great reminders.  So are Mondays.  Nearly 50 baseball games through the weekend compete with the number of beers you consume.  Lots of baseball is awesome.  Not working is phenomenal.  Monday you pay.  The schedule shrivels and shrinks and the empty bottles come looking for penance as you feign typing in your cubicle.  Hope you got some rest for Tuesday cuz a full slate of games returns.  Opportunity strikes those who shop wisely.  Clip your coupons ya’ll cuz it’s time to eat like DraftKings.  We got some nice picks for you today.  The Stream-O-Nator and HitterTron are fired up.  Stacks galore today.  Take a looksee and then get your DraftKings account situated.  It’s time to make some money.

Unless you’re an actual Draft King you gotta pony some bucks for a pitcher.  There’s two hugely advantageous matchups for two of the best pitchers over the past 12 months.  Jose Fernandez and Zach Greinke are absolutely killing it right now.  My money is on Fernandez to put up the best line tomorrow, but Greinke has done hardly anything wrong this year and he tends to contribute to his own Ws with the bat.  $11,600 for Jo-Fer or $11,000 Greinke.  Rest of spending is frugal:

Matt Cain, P: $7,800 – He’s no Cain…. Sugar!  But home sweet home may quell the sweet tooth we all have for value plays.  Yeah Matty Cain is looking weak to start the year, but he’s only had one game with home cookin and it was 7 IP, 7 base runners and 8 Ks.  And he’s spending the night with some really cute little Padre bats.  MC Spring Break 2014 should get things right.

Derek Norris, C: $3,800 – Melvin has mostly used him as the correct side of a platoon split in the past, but he’s as hot as it gets at C right now.  He’s 8 for his last 12 with 3 2Bs and 3 BBs.  He’s facing a lefty and he’s swinging in Arlington.

Edwin Encarnacion, 1B/3B: $3,700 – We got a hot TOR lineup facing a mediocre pitcher who’s due to get swatted around.  At this price, it’s a bargain rave.  E-late for EE! E for everyone!

Martin Prado, 2B: $3,200 – Another slow start for Prado has his value depressed.  He may not be breaking out just yet, but he’s hanging in a raucous crowd of angry bats staring down meatballers.  All these COL @ ARZ games should go over and he’s in the middle of it all batting 2nd.

Pedro Alvarez, 3B: $3,800 – He’s the home run daddy of Pennsylvania.  P.A. is the Pa of PA!  Alliterate don’t illiterate.

Troy Tulowitzki, SS: $5,600 – When he’s hot and healthy he’s more beneficial to your fantasy health than quinoa and kale.  Or good sex.  Home runs every 4 games… 2:1 BB/K… 0.8 RBI/game.  He’s got unreal effin ratios, fellas.  Fellatios.  You should want that.  You should be happy to pay for it.  I shall not be held responsible for your next test results.

Carlos Gonzalez, OF: $4,000 – He’s really good at hitting and he’s priming the bags for Tulo.  Or cleaning him up.  Either way he’s an incredibly important piece of the film.  They’re both facing the worst pitching I’ve seen in April since pine tar became an accepted substance used by caucasion hurlers.

Chris Young, OF: $2,800 – When heated properly Krispie is golden delicious.  He seems to be getting there and has exposed Hamels, Bastardo and Papelbon with moonshots.

Ichiro Suzuki, OF: $2,400 – Make sure you check that he’s in the starting lineup prior to first pitch.  He’s got good career numbers against the soggy Chris Young.  He’s been hitting for a good average and should be on base in a very stackable lineup.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

SERIOUS WEATHER ALERT!!!

Nearly all of this might be a mute point.  Keep heavy tabs on weather today.  PIT v. BAL, SEA v. NYY, NYM v. PHI, CHC v. CIN, DET v. CHW, TOR v. KC, LAD v. MIN, MIL v. STL all are looking at 50% chance of rain or more at gametime.  This is probably a really good day to make some dough if you have the ability to set your lineup based upon weather at the last minutes leading up to game time.

Doing Lines in Vegas

WAS @ HOU O/U 8 – Pitching matchup is a bit iffy, but the wind should be howling in from dead center at over 10 mph.  Bryce Harper has gone down and that leaves about 1.5 hitters combined who can have a multi hit game.  Take the under.

OAK @ TEX O/U 8 – Pretty solid pitching matchup but these two teams can rake and the wind is blowing out at around 15 mph.