Popularity contests are interesting curios. As someone with a fondness for the science of the most far-fetched lens for criticism, judging anything via “popularity” is asking for a set of results sure to kindle antipathy, if not outright contempt. All data from a popularity contest is anecdotal and drowning in the sweet sauces of Recency and Confirmation Biases. It can also become a beacon for bad-faith bullying conspiracies, where voters band together to award popularity to a person not wanting the spotlight for fear of being mocked.
To whit: Whit Merrifield is an All Star for the American League, and a starter in the infield. After two sub-par seasons, Whit has bounced back to a 100 +wRC, because bouncing back for Mr. Leaves of Grass means being a league average regular on a major league baseball team.
Whether it’s the All Star game or the Hall of Fame, these voting procedures are meant to elicit a reaction above all else. People love reading the “All Star Snub” list from competing websites for a reason. It’s fun to get angry that Wander Franco is not a starting All Star in the season he is finally delivering on his long-promised greatness. He has better counting stats, better batting average by a single point, is a better fielder, and both wRC and WAR have him as the better baseball player.
The only sin Wander has committed is being on a team with a fan base of slightly disinterested locals/tourists, and freak baseball perverts. We don’t hop onto Twitter and create concentrated voting blocs to ensure our native bats and pitch men are on the Extra Special Team. We assume people will look at things objectively and vote the right gu…
Of course I’m kidding. If one is wise, one learns to tune out all voting for every institution of greatness at the sway of capriciousness. There is a reason “Boaty McBoatface” entered our popular lexicon. We humans cannot be trusted with objective truths. Left to my own devices, I may attempt to vote in my fictitious line up from Super Mega Baseball including my back up catcher Lonny “Leonard” Barf Rascals, or my left fielder Glue “Henry” Sniffer-Jenkins. What they lack in being real they make up by having better names than you can ever dream. Or maybe I’ll make a starting lineup made of ice cream flavors:
C: Chocolate Peanut Butter
1B: Mint Chocolate Chip
2B: Caramel Cone
SS: Chocolate Brownie
3B: Peppermint (the holiday batch with candy cane chunks)
OF: Mint Cookies and Creme
OF: Cookies and Creme
OF: Moose Tracks
P: The random Ben & Jerry’s carton in your local corner store (no fruit though)
You’ll notice the distinct lack of fruit flavors in my lineup. I don’t care. They’re not popular with me, and as far as I’m concerned any dessert item shoehorning fruit into the mix is a false flag by Food Pyramid Fascists. If you try to tell me that apple pies or tarts go back centuries, then it’s the Food Pyramid Freemasons.
The only acceptable form of fruit on a dessert is a single wedge of strawberry on top of the perfectly torched creme brulee. Anything else is an abomination.
A Blurbstomp Reminder
We will analyze player blurbs from a given evening, knowing that 1-2 writers are usually responsible for all the player write-ups posted within an hour of the game results. We will look at:
Flowery Diction – how sites juice up descriptions of player performance
Q and Q – when a site contradicts a player valuation on back-to-back blurbs
Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award – Given to the player blurb that promises the most and delivers the least.
Bob Nightengale Memorial Plaque – instances of updates that don’t update anything
The hope is that by season’s end, we’ll all feel more confident about our player evaluations when it comes to the waiver wire. We will read blurbs and not be swayed by excessive superlatives, faulty injury reporting, and micro-hype. I will know that I have done my job when Grey posts, and there isn’t a single question about catchers that he did not address in his post. Onward to Roto Wokeness!
Flowery Diction
Roch Kubatko of MASN Sports reports that the Orioles plan to promote outfielder Colton Cowser from Triple-A Norfolk on Wednesday.
Well, you can say this about the Orioles, they certainly aren’t afraid to give their top prospects a chance at the big league level. The 23-year-old was the Orioles’ first-round pick (fifth overall) from the 2021 draft. He has been awfully impressive at Triple-A Norfolk this season — slashing .330/.459/.537 with 10 homers, 40 RBI and seven stolen bases in 56 games. He’s worth a look in all mixed leagues.
Source: Rotoworld
As Grey put it: “You can sure say that, or you can say he should’ve been up 12 months ago. Who’s to say.”
Note that Grey didn’t use a question mark with that last sentence, leading me to believe there is someone named “Who” that has something to say soon.
As I put it: If this was written in April, it might reflect Cowser’s experience. Props to the O’s for letting Gunnar Henderson figure it out at the big league level, as the same approach seems to have helped the likes of Austin Hays two years into the process. However, we’re talking about Cowser, not the rest of the farm system.
I’ve said all I’ve had to say about this shiny new prospect, surely there will not be more below.
Flowery Diction
Andrew Benintendi went 2-for-4 with two doubles, two RBI, a run scored and a walk Friday against the Athletics.
Benintendi has served as the White Sox’s primary leadoff hitter since June 17th, and he’s excelled in the role. Across 13 games, he’s hit .392 with a .436 on-base percentage while also chipping in five runs scored and four RBI. Benintendi has only one home run and a .094 ISO for the season, but he should have the chance to maintain a strong batting average while racking up runs and stolen bases moving forward.
Source: Rotowire
When this was posted, Andrew Benintendi’s BABIP from June 17th to July 1st was .417. If you think that’s a number that he can repeat for weeks at a time, I’ve got some things to sell you that are cheap but I’ve upcharged them, and in the end I will profit and you will lose. As the saying goes.
Since that blurb on July 1st, Benintendi’s BABIP has dropped to .182 in 15 at bats. I’m using this tiny sample to point out that Benintendi has traditionally BABIP’ed at .325-ish, and his career high is .352. I guess if a .275 batting average with no homers and a handful of steals can help, sure, Bennies can help you. But a strong batting average is over-selling the skills and production, especially when you have Arraez destroying the Bell Curve.
Q&Q
Nico Hoerner singled in the go-ahead run in the 11th as the Cubs edged the Brewers 7-6 on Tuesday
Willy Adames got to Hoerner’s grounder up the middle, but he had no chance of throwing out the speedy second baseman. It was Hoerner’s second hit in six at-bats, and it accounted for the only run in the two extra innings in Milwaukee today. Hoerner remains the Cubs leader with 43 RBI, five more than Ian Happ and Christopher Morel.
Source: Rotoworld.com
Sad that Hoerner leads the team in RBI says more about David Ross’s management than Hoerner’s prodigious output. In half the at bats of Hoerner, Morel has almost caught him. Imagine if Morel had just been parked in the five or six spot when he was first called up instead batting ninth or sometimes first(?!) or simply benched for a few games in a row.
Has Blurbstomp devolved into a Morel Support Group? Yes. We at the Morel Support Group don’t feel shame, there is a shared experience of acceptance of our humanhood, and we will not rest on our laurels while our namesake is still called “streaky.” Our laurels are very comfortable too! There’s a special page on Sharper Image all about purchasing products to optimize your laurels, and if you check the first page of the two-page spread, you’ll see my laurels front and center. That’s not digitally touched up. I am 100% all natural laurels, baby.
Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award
Ezequiel Duran, currently in a 1-for-17 slump, is out of the Rangers lineup Wednesday for the second time in three days.
This seems like an overreaction, but the Rangers do lose some defense when Duran is in the outfield and they’re probably more comfortable with a veteran outfielder handling the Green Monster in Fenway. Even with the 1-for-17, Duran is hitting .306/.345/.530 this season. There aren’t more than a couple of other teams that could afford to be sitting him like this.
Source: Rotoworld.com
IS THAT A SLUMP I GUESS WE SHOULD START CALLING HIM INCONSISTENT IN ALL FUTURE WRITE UPS. SOUNDS PRETTY STREAKY TO ME HAVE YOU CHECKED HIS UNDERWEAR IT’S PROBABLY FULL OF STRE–
Bob Nightengale Memorial Plaque
Orioles selected the contract of OF Colton Cowser from Triple-A Norfolk.
Mostly a center fielder in the minors, Cowser recently started seeing more action in right, which is presumably where he’ll see more of his time in Baltimore. He’ll likely start there against righties, with Anthony Santander playing there versus lefties and DHing most of the rest of the time. Aaron Hicks figures to lose a lot of at-bats. Odds are that Cowser will make a positive contribution to the Orioles, but as a fantasy outfielder, the likely platoon role will hurt. There’s the potential for solid numbers in all five categories as time goes by, but for now, he’s probably not worthy of a starting spot in 10-team leagues.
Source: Rotoworld.com
The reasoning behind the last line has me scratching my head feeling like the buttocks of a tree. I’m stumped.
“He’s probably not worthy of a starting spot in 10-team leagues.”
So many insinuations in one little clause.
1. Is Colton Cowser an automatic pick up in 10-team leagues? I’m not sure he is, especially if he’s platooning. In a ten team league, I see a waiver wire full of talent that I could never dream of as a life-long 12-teamer. We in 12-teamers look at our waiver wire and salivate at the likes of Corey Julks or Jaime Barria. But he’s (maybe) platooning? Yuck.
2. If you pick up a player and they’re playing, aren’t they worthy of a starting spot? Don’t we pick up players to put them into our lineups? If we are to benefit from the, uh, “…solid numbers in all five categories as time goes by…” do we not need to start him to accrue said statistics? If a tree falls in the woods on top of me, giving me permanent brain damage so I stop writing rhetorical question bits into my column, will anyone besides me understand what I’m writing here?
Bob Nightengale Memorial Plaque
Wander Franco was named to the American League All-Star squad as an injury replacement for Aaron Judge.
It’s the first time that the 22-year-old superstar has made the All-Star team. He has had a very deserving first half — slashing .283/.343/.459 with nine homers, 42 RBI and 26 stolen bases (in 34 attempts) on the year.
Source: Rotoedgesportsworld.com
What a snotty little addition at the end. I am hopeful this leads to other snottiness that is congruent with this addition, like stating how many singles Luis Arraez has after stating his batting average, or how many double plays Matt Olson has grounded into when bringing up his offensive production.
If it weren’t an all star blurb, I probably would have shot right past this one, but I keep on wondering about its purpose. It feels like there is some kind of perceived arrogance in Franco that the blurb feels the need to check. “He’s a superstar, but…” is such a strange sentiment, and not be because superstars are immune to criticism.
As an owner of Big Randy Arozarena in a few of my leagues, I think noting his Caught Stealing numbers is relevant. We drafted him hoping for another 20/30 season, but now it looks like we’ll be lucky to get 20 steals. He’s been caught 7 times to his 9 steals. That’s a ratio worth mentioning. Not 26 steals in 34 attempts. Guy is going to keep trying to steal bases.
I swear they’re planting stuff like this in blurbs to try and break me. Maybe they have.
We’ll find out how badly next week. Till then, blurb on!
