This blurbstomp will be abbreviated, as I am traveling across the country. I hope you all stayed safe this weekend, and you treated your pets to extra treats to help them deal with the sonic trauma. I did sparklers and smoke bombs, and this time I didn’t wrap my hand around the hot part as a dare! Huzzah!
On to the blurbs!
A Blurbstomp Reminder
We will analyze player blurbs from a given evening, knowing that 1-2 writers are usually responsible for all the player write ups posted within an hour of the game results. We will look at:
- Flowery Diction – how sites juice up descriptions of player performance
- Q and Q – when a site contradicts a player valuation on back-to-back blurbs
- Prospects – Where some
- Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award – Given to the player blurb that promises the most and delivers the least.
The hope is that by season’s end, we’ll all feel more confident about our player evaluations when it comes to the waiver wire. We will read blurbs and not be swayed by excessive superlatives, faulty injury reporting, and micro-hype. I will know that I have done my job when Grey posts, and there isn’t a single question about catchers that he did not address in his post. Onward to Roto Wokeness!
Flowery Diction
Bryce Harper crushed a homer and drove in another run on Saturday in a win over the Padres.
Harper absolutely clobbered a solo homer off Yu Darvish that traveled “only” 406 feet but came off the bat at 113.5 mph. He drove in his second run with a sac fly off Darvish, and he’s plated 26 runs in the first half of the season. A low number, but keep in mind Harper has dealt with some injuries and the RBI total should continue to grow considerably in the second half of 2021.
Source: Rotoedgeworld.com
Oh just stop it with the exit velocity thing if you’re going to exclude launch angle from the same conversation. Of course the ball traveled 406 feet with a batted ball speed of 113+ mph, the dang launch angle wasn’t particularly high. This isn’t a case of “only,” or that the distance of the homer belies the supposed greatness of the homer. A lot of Boomers hate the exit velo discussions. I guess they liked it better when the announcer would say things like, “He really hit that one a ton.” That’s just as dumb, if not dumber, folks. It’s a whole movie starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels that I assume hasn’t aged well. I saw it as a wee lad and remember two specific scenes: The Jeff Daniels diarrhea scene, and that the hitman kept drinking Pepto-Bismol out of the bottle. That’s good product placement! Not for the diarrhea, but the Pepto. Not even the greatest image-boosting advertising campaign can save diarrhea from itself. Too much anecdotal bias. Sad.
Q and Q
Freddie Freeman went 3-for-3 and reached base in all five of his plate appearances on Saturday, but it wasn’t enough to lead the Braves past the Marlins.
Freeman delivered a run-scoring single off of Dylan Floro in the seventh inning that trimmed the Braves deficit to 3-2, but that would be as close as they would get. He singled three times and drew a pair of walks in the contest. With the monster effort he’s now hitting .267/.374/.472 with 17 homers, 46 RBI and four stolen bases on the season.
Source: Rotoedgesportsworld.com
A monster effort? Three singles? That’s like me getting congratulated for remembering it’s Tax Day and then not doing my taxes. Or astronauts getting congressional medals for getting into the space shuttle to test it out. I agree that he’s hitting better, but a “monster performance” usually includes at least two extra base hits, 4+ runs batted in, and maybe a partridge in a pear tree. You know who could hit three singles in a game? David Eckstein. I’d hate to look up his profile and see how many publications labeled his 3-single games as “monster.” I might just combust. But that’s what these blurb sites want, and I won’t deliver them my charred remains quite yet. Save it for the inevitable David Fletcher 4-single “Greatest Performance in a Regular Season Game Blurb.”
Prospect
Royals recall Edward Olivares from AAA Omaha
Olivares has struggled to a .553 OPS in 24 plate appearances this season at the major league level, but he’ll get another shot with the Royals losing Emmanuel Rivera to a fractured hamate bone.
Source: Rotoedgeworldsports.com
Dude doesn’t have enough at bats to have a performance to evaluate. Jarred Kelenic was given ample rope to hang himself, with Rotoworld even saying he’d been successful despite hitting worse than Kiriloff. The Kelenic bias was strong all over the place, not just Rotoworld, but they seem to continue to have beef with Olivares, who looks to be done with Triple A pitching and needs a new challenge. He homered later in the day after this blurb and raised his OPS .050. Just let the kid play! He could steal some bases and show the power he’s never been allowed to unleash. The Royals sent him back down anyways, and then Rotoworld wrote a Pity Blurb about how much he’s been toyed with by the Royals.
Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award
Julio Urias was charged with three runs (one earned) over six innings on Friday in a no-decision against the Nationals.
Urias was victimized by a throwing error from veteran third baseman Justin Turner in the second inning, which allowed a pair of unearned runs to scamper across the plate. He wound up retiring 12 of the final 14 batters he faced after a two-out single from Kyle Schwarber in the second inning. He finished with only three strikeouts and also handed out three free passes. The 24-year-old southpaw will carry a lackluster 3.81 ERA and 1.07 WHIP and 110/21 K/BB ratio across 99 ? innings (17 starts) into a road tilt against the Marlins on Wednesday in his final outing prior to the All-Star Break.
Source: Rotoedgeworldsports.com
This is one of the worst blurbs of the year, which Rotoworld recognized by completely altering both the lede and the analysis provided above. First of all, Urias got the win. It wasn’t a no-decision. Secondly, Julio Urias’s season-long stat line is lackluster? Christ alive, look at that dang K/BB ratio! It makes me feel things! In my pants! Mostly the loose change I hope I don’t forget before I throw these pants in the washing machine. But still! That WHIP! There is absolutely nothing pedestrian about Urias’s performance this year.
If you check now, you can tell that editorial agreed with me, as the blurb has edited out everything I highlighted. Thing is, you could’ve used that blurb to buy low on Urias to someone who takes everything blurbs say to heart. The window was small, but it was there. Happy blurbing, all!
