I read yesterday Brett Anderson might be headed for TJ surgery, which I believe is surgery done while a stray dog limps through the operating room… Wait, Googling TJ surgery. Oh, it’s Tommy John surgery, not Tijuana surgery. Silly me. “No, I don’t want any chiclets, I’m having a tumor removed!” That’s someone in Tijuana having surgery. Something’s wrong with Anderson, Tommy John surgery or not. He’s making a nice run to be included in the definition for Bennis Carpensheeter. I just have to add an ‘r’ and it’s Brennis; you follow, Anderson. I’m sure that’s his main concern. “You know, my career was going fine until I was included in the Razzball glossary.” That’s Brett Anderson talking to Bryant Gumbel’s head in a jar of formaldehyde on Real Sports in 40 years. I wouldn’t drop Anderson yet, but I get the sense it’s not too far away. Doesn’t anyone stay in one place anymore? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jemile Weeks – A’s are calling up their 2nd base prospect. Jemile, schlimazel… Hasenpfeffer Incorporated! Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s always fun when a player is traded from one team to another and doesn’t gain or lose any value whatsoever. Can’t wait for Moneyball: The Movie. After the last image of Billy Beane patting Scott Hatteberg on the butt, the screen fades. Over black, we read: After three straight sub-.500 years, Billy Beane, still finding value where no one else is, traded for Conor Jackson, who failed to impress anyone ever but had a career .358 On Base Percentage. (I imagine Hollywood would spell out OBP.) Not one dry eye in the entire theater. Of course, the only ones in the theater are A’s fans, nevertheless! Pursue Jackson timidly in AL-Only leagues. Meanwhile, Gerardo Parra will take over for CoJo. This Parra doesn’t walk people, he runs. Unfortunately, he hasn’t run enough to make him that interesting in mixed leagues. Parra’s upside is 7 homers, 15 steals. He shouldn’t be a liability on average. Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he can be grabbed in NL-Only leagues. In most mixed leagues, I think there’s gotta be someone more suave than Gerardo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Heilman – Will officially take over for Qualls. Every since Qualls had kneecap n’ crunch last year, he hasn’t seemed right. Hinch says he’ll let Qualls work in non-pressure situations so he can regain the closer role down the road. So in leagues where you were hoping to lose him, Qualls once again provides no relief. Pun point! Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was alerted yesterday in our fantasy baseball forums that Ozzie Guillen will be sitting Alexei Ramirez for Jayson Nix. And it may not be for just one game. This makes perfect sense. A guy who has never played a game at shortstop in the major leagues. A guy who got the Rockies starting job at 2nd last year and hit .125 and 2 extra-base hits in 56 ABs. A guy who couldn’t hold off Omar Quintanilla for the utility man role in Colorado. A guy whose last name says it all. Please, blog, may I have some more?