At this point, we’re almost a month through the 2016 MLB season.  We are getting close to the point where patience is wearing thin on players who have started slow.  I’m looking at you Justin Upton!  Upton is far from the only player who has struggled through the first month of the season and I’m sure everyone has at least one player on their roster who is letting them down.  That said, I’d still give it a couple more weeks before I made a big trade to shake things up.  Let’s take a look back at every article that went up this week on Razzball and a brief look at the week ahead:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!

Weekly Razzball news delivered straight to your inbox.
  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Soooo, I conveniently left my weekly statistics on my work computer that tracked how my suggestions have fared thus far in the season, so you will have to wait until next week to see. However if you followed my Week 3 post, you already know they were border-line atrocious.

But I am here to TOTALLY REDEEM myself in Week 5 and get you some sexy stats out of some not so sexy players. Or maybe just a bunch of players that were sexy back when NSYNC was popular. And in JT’s honor…we celebrate not only a new week, but a new month…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello everyone, Happy May and welcome to Sunday! We have another large slate, with 15 games on the All-Day docket, and 10 games on the Main Slate.

We have a interesting case on our hands today, as there are many games Vegas lists at 6.5 O/U. Why is this? Well, that’s because we have a slate full of many high-priced aces, as Madison Bumgarner, Noah Syndergaard, Chris Sale, Max Scherzer, Danny Salazar, Clayton Kershaw, and David Price, all above the $10,000 salary range, are all scheduled to start today, which begs the question, which Ace do you want? I don’t need to get into a ton of statistics and heavy in-depth research, because arguments can be made to start each guy on any specific night, and you already know why these guys are so dominant. However, we can still get to some digging and eliminate pitchers that we don’t want, digging some more, eliminating more guys, so on, and so forth.

First up, what about the higher-priced guys? Yes, all are expensive, yet are you comfortable with selecting Clayton Kershaw (#1 cash option without thinking), at a crisp $12,300? If the answer is yes, you should also be fairly confident that he should pick up the win against the San Diego Padres, not to mention his elite strikeout upside and low walk rate, but you already knew that. What about Madison Bumgarner? Well, his biggest strength is his low-walk rate (4.5% in 2015) and his 3.00 SIERA in 2015 as well, but he is facing the Mets, which is not only tough, but he has to manage a win behind an offense facing Noah Syndergaard, and the same thing for him, as Thor has to muster a win against Mad-Bum. No thanks. I feel it is much more efficient to find cheaper options to solidify those stud bats we can roster, instead of having to pay for these top studs who are very likely to record multi-strikeout performances, yet equally have the potential to not collect the win, and to record a poor outing.

So who’s up next? There’Let’s get to it.

New to DraftKings? Just remember to sign up through us and hop on in! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s embarrassment and then there’s having to cover in detail a fantasy baseball league you’re nearly dead last in. So begins our first monthly update on the in house dynasty league “The RazzNasty”. For those of you that are new here, “The RazzNasty” is a Razzball founded dynasty league made up of Razzball writers, readers, commenters, and Methodists! It’s a 16 team roto with semi-weekly adds/drops via blind auction. We have 30 man MLB rosters and 10 man minor league rosters. Since we last updated you in early March there’s been a flurry of activity including trades, wire adds, a second commissioner switch, and a banana or two in the tailpipe. So yes it’s more or less high stakes Mario Kart.

Please, blog, may I have some more?


“Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? Our nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.” Woo. Woo. Woo! Welp, I don’t know that even Joltin’ Joe could help the Yanks this year, but across town in Flushing ole Simon and Garfunkel may change their tune, because baseball nation is awaiting the return of one of its aces. New York’s in need of a hero (aren’t they always?), and I’m not talking of the Norse god variety. No, they need someone who speaks them, looks like them, gets them…someone who is them. The Dark Knight himself: Matt Harvey.

In 400+ IP from 2012-2015 his ERA never crept above 2.73, including 2.71 in 189 IP last season after fully recovering from the ol’ TJ surgery. He’s been as dominant as it gets, and should be the anchor of a nasty Mets rotation. But 2016 has been nothing of the sort. Yet. His 4.76 ERA is the ugliest thing in his life these days, because you know he can date whomever he wants in NYC. Just like how Batman always a lady friend stalking him, Harvey’s gotta have strong offerings galore. If only ‘strong offerings’ were also indicative of his pitches in 2016. Despite all other peripherals remaining consistent from years past, his bread and butter, the fastball, dropped a full MPH in velocity. Harvey needs his stuff to return, and fast. Well, to fast? And it needs to be fast, yes, but really it must get to its previous fast. Yeah…that works. And with a little luck, mixed with some well-timed visits from a few special opponents, I believe the Mets Dark Knight will be returning from the ashes soon. Really soon.

A hero is only as good as his villain, and Batman’s had his fair share. However, not all stack up the same, so let’s have some fun with the Week 5 Rankings by categorizing them by the best Batman villains. And no, don’ get confused, we’re not ranking the pitcher’s opponents, but man, when looking those two up against Harvey, his turn around happens now or it may be time to turn in the cape on 2016.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adam Conley threw 7 2/3 innings, of “exciting” no-hit baseball Friday night, striking out seven Brewers en route to his first win of the season. Manager Don Mattingly pulled Conley after 116 pitches and left it up to Miami’s bullpen to blow Conley’s no-hitter. Sigh, the Miami fan(s) need someone to cheer for now that their star player Dee “I Didn’t Know We Couldn’t Do That” Gordon betrayed them. And I won’t even mention that other power-hitter outfielder (a complicated restraining order actually prevents me from mentioning his full name, let’s just call him G. Stanton–or better, Giancarlo S.) Adam ain’t worried about it. YOLO. Speaking of YOLOing, how about that new Drake album? Uh, singasongmuch? Please stop. I get the whole calypso/R&B/I’mdoingthistobangRihanna vibe the album has and I’m not feeling it. Meanwhile, Mr. Drake, you are depriving fans of some of the best Canadian rap the world has to offer. Oh, hey tangent, we were talking about Adam Conley! The lefty now possesses a 3.67 ERA and 1.22 WHIP through four starts with a 28/12 K/BB rate (9.33 K/9). Mmm, strikeouts. Adam’s 72.2% swinging strike percentage (including 14 in last night’s game) suggest that the strikeouts are for real. That could help your fantasy team. Like Drizzy’s new album, he’s been a bit inconsistent, but Conley gets Arizona next week, he’s available in over 80% of fantasy leagues and he could be worth a pick up in deeper mixed and NL-Only leagues. Why not take a flier–you only YOLO once!

Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you happen to be a non-millennial reading this then you remember a time when # meant “Pound” and didn’t mean “Hashtag”.  If you are a millennial you’ve likely already skipped this intro and skimmed the rest of the picks.  After all, you’re entitled to win at DFS with minimal research and time invested.  The DFS sites owe it to you, just like your boss owes it to you to give you that raise despite the fact you don’t actually do any work all day.  We’ll be using the pound sign today to discuss how the O’s are going to # on Mat Latos this evening.  I’ve had issues with Latos for some time, I mean, what self-respecting Matt goes by Mat anyway?  This year though, the issues with Latos are greater than ever.  This guy has the nerve to masquerade as an ace with his sub 1 ERA and WHIP.  We here at Razzball aren’t fooled however.  We see the real numbers under those fraudulent ones and we are ready to pounce.  The 4.8 K/9 and 2.6 BB/9 tell the real story, as does his 3.56 FIP.  The regression fairies are just dying to pay Latos a visit, right after they finish cutting off all their jeans into shorts for the summer.  I, for one, want to be there when this correction happens, and not just for the cut off jean shorts.  Chris Davis will be heavily owned but if Pedro Alvarez finds his way into the lineup tonight, he might be an under the radar play that could pay handsome dividends.  The Orioles don’t have much else in the way of lefty batters however Mat Latos hasn’t really shown a dramatic platoon split in his career, so just load up on every O you can get your salary cap around and enjoy the #ing.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

My wife and I have a long running joke on what’s worse, Hot Dog breath or hot dog breath?  Hot dogs are a requirement for me at the ballpark, but the last time I was there, I gleaned some interesting information about the difference between the jumbo dog and the regular dog.  That is, there is no difference.  At least not at my local stadium, named after a terrible beer.  I asked for the jumbo dog, didn’t have enough cash for it, and asked for the regular.  They were the same size, except one was in silver and blue foil, the other in silver and red.  I asked the woman at the counter what’s the difference? She smiled and said “nothing.”  I appreciate that kind of candor and told her so; so I took my regular hot dog, covered it in mustard and onions, and enjoyed my favorite food at the ballpark.

Furthermore, the breath you get after eating a hot dog isn’t great.  On the flip-side, in the middle of summer after taking the dog on a long walk, yields some strong hot dog breath.  Is there a difference?  Sure, but not too much.  So I pop a mint, the dog takes one of those dog improving breath treats, and we move on.  What did all that have to do with fantasy baseball?  Uh…not much, so take the hot dog tip, avoid hot dog breath in all cases, and add Ben Paulsen to your fantasy teams.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yeah, Justin Upton will hit six homers all year and .170.  Yup, Jason Hammel will have an ERA under one.  You betcha, Gregory Polanco will bat after the pitcher by September.  Okay, on that last one, I don’t want to jinx anything, so let’s just say I’m being sarcastic and I don’t need no Polanco batting low in the order.  Double negatives be damned!  Finally, Jose Abreu is a Cuban sandwich short of pickles, which makes him a ham sandwich, which is a trailer park doorstop.  He’s nothing.  Done.  It was a good ride we had with Abreu, but the last three weeks trumps all the seasons that came before it.  And the new president of that sentence is trumps.  Abreu, sir, if I may sit you down for a second.  Please retire, your career is over.  You had a good ride.  Let baseball go.  Look at Bobby Abreu, for example.  He had grandkids and started wearing a dress and now goes by Bubbie Abreu.  Take his lead.  Your time is gone.  Sure, you have an insanely low BABIP.  You’re actually walking more this year than last.  Your homers per fly balls is absurdly low.  Your ground balls are actually lower this year, like subterranean.  You’re striking out about the same amount.  Alas, it’s over!  Hang up your cleats!  Not on that hook, that’s for my Par Djoos jersey for when I want to start a Sega video game fight.  Or I guess you could just turn around your season; I mean, there are five months left.  Yes, you should buy low on Abreu (and Upton).  The season is barely nascent.  Fun fact!  N/A-scent is when you think someone farted, but they actually have a dead raccoon in their jacket.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Watch out boy she’ll chew you up. Oh-oh, here he comes. He’s a maneater. I own Sean Manaea in every points league to which I am a member. Why does proper grammar sound so stupid sometimes. I considered writing the rest of this post in ebonics, but I’m afraid I’d offend at least one of my remaining seven readers. Then I’d be down to six and I think that’s when Grey puts the red tag in my locker. So instead I’m going to pretend like the past few sentences don’t even exist, except for the one about Manaea. There’s something about young, rookie pitchers that excites me. There’s another sentence I probably shouldn’t have published. The messed up part is that recognized that before I actually published it, yet I still published it anyway. Are you sure you want to take advice from me?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Page 2 of 58612345...102030...Last »

Razzball Archives