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What is up party people? We have finally arrived at that magical day. Opening Day 2019 is upon us. This is one of the most exciting days of the year because it’s a clean slate, everyone starts fresh and everyone is a contender. Hopefully you all feel confident in your teams for season long fantasy, but if you don’t or if you just need even more of that fantasy fix… Strap in, we have a long, wild ride ahead of us. I hope you’re just as excited as I am and don’t forget to join us at Razzball all season to feed your fantasy baseball (and FanDuel) craving. So let’s get to it. Best of luck (not that you need luck when you have Razzball)

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave.  A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’  A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.”  Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft.  This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds.  Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you.  I don’t need to ice my clicky finger.  It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting.  It does allow you to second-guess your picks.  Actually, more like triple-guess.  (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

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When someone sneezes, people have become accustomed to saying “bless you” or “gesundheit” after they hear an ahchoo. The origination of the tradition began back in the sixth century, when Pope Gregory the Great uttered the phrase “God bless you” during the bubonci plague epidemic. Gesundheit means health in German. So, it only makes sense that we utter the same phrases for Shin-Soo Choo, who is 36 years old and playing in his 15th major league season. I noticed that he was dropped in 4.7% of ESPN leagues over the last seven days. Trash or treasure?

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Not going to lie, I couldn’t be more excited to release this podcast to the public at large. The band is back together for one night only as the Halph Reunion Tour sets up shop in your ear holes. That’s right Michael Halpern joins me as the host stand-in this week. So you know we had to bring it back to the good old days as Halp and I touch on the wave of top prospects breaking camp. With all of these talents likely to exhaust their prospect eligibility in the coming months, we decided to hit you with 16 players we view as the next wave of elite players. It’s back to the future this week on the latest episode of the Razzball Prospect Podcast.

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This is the “obvs!” edition of minor accomplishments. Most of this news shouldn’t be news to you, but several prospects saw their redraft stock fluctuate in the past seven days. Nick Senzel got the double whammy. First, he gets sent down to the minors. Then the Reds host an ill-timed ‘Bring Your Banana Peels To The Park Day’ and he rolls his ankle. That’s no way to run an organization if you ask me. Senzel was almost a sure bet when the Reds announced he’d be in the running for the center field gig. Then Scooter got injured, so certainly he’d at least make the roster. Nope! The Reds said, “Louisville is nice this time of year and we’re going to manipulate your service time like a homeless guy trying to fish a quarter out of a pay phone change return.” The good news is Senzel (if healthy) should be up as soon as late April. Here are a few other prospect-eligible players who have gained or lost this week.

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Fernando Tatis Jr. made the team.  Did not see that one coming.  Don’t own him anywhere.  To which you now say, “Tough Tatis.”  Wow.  I’m stunned.  Good for the Padres!  This is not good for the Luis Urias, who I’ve lowered in my top 20 2nd basemen.  Possibly bad news for Ian Kinsler too, but owning Ian Kinsler in fantasy was bad news for you anyway.  Here’s what I said earlier in the preseason on Tatis, “Fernando Tatis Jr. was born in 1999.  Recently, it was announced Acuña was so young he didn’t know who Mickey Mantle was, well, Tatis Jr. is so young he doesn’t know who Mike Trout is.  Dude was born like a minute ago, and not a minute as it’s defined in Urban Dictionary, which is a long time, but an actual minute.  Fernando Tatis Jr.’s dad is so young he didn’t even use charcoal as his medium; he used MS Paint.  Tatis Jr. looks like an All Star ready to happen, until the 75th round draft pick, Albert Pujols Jr., comes along and replaces him.  Jokes aside, Tatis looks damn near perfect.  A lanky Machado maybe, a young Hanley possibly.  Like something Ryan Brasier would cover, Tatis looks real and spectacular.  I’d say the difference him and his pops is the difference between Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr., but Ken Sr. wasn’t that bad.  How about this, the difference between Tatises (Tatii?) is the difference between J.D. Martinez and J.D. Martinez Sr.  Was there a J.D. Martinez Sr.?  No idea, but that’s the point.  FTJ is going to be special.  Now Fun the Jewels fast!  Now Fun the Jewels fast!  Now Fun the Jewels fast!”  And that’s me quoting me!  I love him, guys and five girl readers, and you need to own him in all leagues.  Immediately.  He has some swing-and-miss tendencies, due to his age, so I conservatively projected him up to around 18/18/.250, but, honestly, he could be so much more.  He was also moved up my top 20 shortstops, if you’re into that sorta thing.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:

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We all know what it’s like to part with a loved one; An ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/lover/sidepiece/sugar daddy/sugar baby, and we know how painful it can truly be. I…I can’t believe I’m saying this…but after much self-reflection the time has come for me to part with my alter ego…Tehol Beddict.

You see, Tehol was the person I wanted to be in real life; peaceful, spiritual, focused on dominance, a total sex-addict, someone who was sought after for advice, and other than the moments I go back to Twitter or when I’m screaming at people in traffic, I honestly feel like I’ve become this person in 2019 (other than the sex-addict part…I’m celibate). Also, my friends and family can’t seem to understand that this is me, as they can’t comprehend why if it was me it wouldn’t say my real name. My freaking father says he can never find my work online, so basically I’m making this maneuver to assist the elder folk. You know, the elderly, though slow, and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose, so it’s important we help them out whenever possible. Wonder if he struggles this mightily in searching for porn???

Anyway, most of my old readers have most likely moved on to new writers…who are we kidding! They have been biding their time, strategizing and plotting for my triumphant return,  organizing a masterful battle plan to destroy all who oppose me, and believe me, it melts my heart guys/gals. Say one thing for Tehol…errr, LT, say that he loves his supporters like the children he never wanted. (I almost deleted this 100 times as it’s extremely difficult to say goodbye to the legend, but it’s time to rip the sutures out and bleed my own blood, and festoon the walls of Razzball with it.)

If you have no clue what I’m speaking of, or have no clue who or what I am, prepare yourself for next level savagery, for play around, I do not. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

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We’re really winding down on draft season now, with official games starting on Thursday.  This is the last Tuesday without baseball for some time and I’m giddy about it. We’re sitting at 73 Razzball Commenter Leagues right now (12 more than last year!) and 64 of those have drafted.  Only two of our legacy leagues remain undrafted with ECFBL and the ‘Perts League drafting late Wednesday night. Nothing like waiting until the last moment. All of our leagues are full as of now, but if we have any dropouts, make sure you’re following myself (@MattTruss) and/or @Razzball on Twitter.  That tends to be the first place I go to blast out league openings. If you didn’t get in on the fun, well, there’s always next year, don’t procrastinate so much next season! Speaking of fun, I had fun going over the new and improved ADP data by taking a look at the ADPs of all Grey’s Sleepers. Even though the ADP Sheet is Razzball-centric it can still give you some interesting tidbits of information.  So, let’s do some last minute cramming for those final drafts and see what we can see.

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It’s been a week since Tout Wars went down in NYC and the boys are bringing on Baseball Prospectus Legend and Albright arch-nemesis Mike Gianella to talk about his  AL-Only Tout Wars squad. This is by far the shadiest podcast to date with Grey and Gianella trading barbs almost from the opening bell. We laugh, we cry, we yell at each other about Clayton Kershaw’s value. Most of all however, we trash each others teams. Okay, so this is a bit of hyperbole, but in all seriousness, Grey and Gianella go at each other and it’s all in fun. Don’t believe me? Check it out. It’s the latest episode of the Razzball Podcast. Bee-T-Dubs, don’t forget to order 12 of the new Razzball shirts over on Rotowear.com!

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