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Hoo doggy, we’ve got some slim pickins this week. And not like Slim Pickens from Dr. Strangelove, because he’s actually fun. The pickins in Two Startapalooza this week consist mostly of Tier 4 and 5 bottom feeders. Although, now that I think about it, riding with one of those guys is a bit like Slim Pickens riding that bomb to his doom. The top three tiers this week hold a grand total of 10 double dippers, most of which are already owned unless you’re in an extremely shallow league. Even Tier 4 is pretty sketchy this week, though. And not “draw me like one of your French girls” type of sketchy, more like an Etch A Sketch drawing from an elderly woman who’s also working a Shake Weight. There are a few permissible options that we’ll get to, but realize that if you’re in a shallow league you might be better off going with your Single Start Studs over these Double Dipping Ding Dongs. Mmm…Ding Dongs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I used to be a Catholic schoolgirl. I was bad at it (ahem), but some things stay with one, lo these many years later. The urge to dip my fingers in holy water and genuflect (why does that word sound so dirty somehow?) whenever I walk into a church. The impulse to reply “and also with you” when someone says “May the fourth be with you”. An enjoyment of wafers and religious experiences, such as watching James Paxton ($24,100 on FantasyDraft today) deal a no-hitter against the Blue Jays last week. He’s taking on Detroit today: yes, his last start, which was also against the Tigers, saw him give up 3 earned, but I’m going to put it down to the food poisoning he was allegedly dealing with (gotta go easy on the loaves and fishes) and exhort you: Pay up and start him and may (a) piece (of the action) be with you.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Draft talk is finally here, and I for one could not be more excited about it. There’s no point in the year where we’re more inundated with new prospects, and sexy new skillsets to dream on. Hope springs eternal in MLB draft-land, not only for real life teams, but for all y’all fantasy squads as well. Yes, I just used the phrase all y’all. It’s important to remain folksy in the face of privilege. Never mind that, we’re talking the top hitters in this year’s draft class. We go through all the big names from Alec Bohm to Nick Madrigal to Nolan Gorman, Jarred Kelenic, and Jonathan India. Of course we start the show off with some Vlad Jr. talk, and our usual 5×5, highlighting some top players over the last week in MiLB. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 20% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast:

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How good is Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?  The Blue Jays are now saying they’d like to see how he deals with failure.  He’s so good, he’s never failed!  He will be up by mid-June.  The Jays can longer hold him down anymore without concocting fake reasons.  Very soon you’re going to read this from me:  “Vlad, the Mini Impaler, just jacked another homer to go with his .320 average.  Aren’t you glad you listened to me and grabbed him back in mid-May?  You didn’t grab him?  Aw, shucks, you did a hashtag fail on that one, didn’t you?  It’s all right, there should be another generational talent up in five years.  I hear Bartolo Colon’s got 17 sons — one could be up soon and light the world on fire, or at least put the world in a microwave, open the door 30 seconds before the world is fully heated and eat it.”  And that’s me quoting future me!  So, do you wanna be the guy (or girl who can totally hang with the guys), saying, “Damn, Grey, you’re handsome AF but your witticisms cut deep sometimes.”  Or do you want to read my wound-salting barbs and think, “I’m so glad I own Vlad.  Now who is this Bartolo Colon Jr. he’s talking about?  I should comment calling him Bartolo Semi-Colon and totally make Grey cackle!”  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Nothing is worse than owning a closer you drafted… you get comfortable and things are going well.  You’re sitting pretty, a dalmation on the beer cart.  Then poof!  The dreaded word that for fantasy players and save connaisseurs is worse than the “I’m pregnant” line; That word is a “group”, from singular to plural.  It isn’t fair.  These guys don’t know the hours of time we devote to drafting a team and then getting pimped to the waiver wire for the next dude up.  Well, that is where we are currently sitting with Atlanta and Philadelphia.  Adding more names to the donkeycorn factory at the end of the chart.  Joining the fray are now Tommy Hunter, A.J. Minter, Seranthony Dominguez, Dan Winkler, and a slew of other candidates that are all in bathrobes in a line by height down the hallway.  Save orgies are good for one thing and one thing only, diversifying the stat and keeping you closer to the leader by expanding the save universe.  But we all live in “a one man, one save” lifestyle like the Puritans.  So what do we make of all this mess, besides getting a waiver wire mop and roster as many as possible? Stay calm if you own the old closer.  There was a reason they had the job initially, and they are still in the running.  Dropping a potential save candidate to the wire is never a good idea, unless you are upgrading and getting a better save option that has the job outright.  This savey save advice is keen when you are middle of the pack, but if you are chasing saves and falling behind by the day, trading for one of a higher caliber is the tact to go.  Let us see what else is happening in the end game of fantasy…

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Happy FanDuel Friday everyone.  We’ve got a real-life, full slate of games today, which seems like it never happens any more.  Unfortunately, it looks like Mother Nature might take it upon herself to reduce the slate for us.  You know, so it’s more like what MLB has scheduled for Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.  More on the weather below, but first, some picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Starling Marte hit the DL with an oblique injury, which apparently opened up space for Austin Meadows to be called up.  Okay, I wanna be happy.  I do.  C**nt Hurdle seemed to do the right thing, Spike Lee.  However, I wanna mitch and boan about one thing.  The Pirates had to trade for Corey Dickerson to clog the outfield?  Dickerson screams DH.  Literally, he wakes at night screaming, “DH!”  He has David Ortourettiz’s.  Marte has already said he doesn’t think he’ll be out more than a week or two, so where’s Meadows going?  Back to the minors?  The Pirates have been doing The Running Man in place for years now, maybe you call up your 1st round pick who has 1,626 minor league at-bats!  Here’s what Prospector Ralph said in his top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, “The skills put him in the top three entering last season, but a injury riddled season, including his third consecutive year with a hamstring injury have me doubting the upside I once dreamed on. Meadows at his best combines plus hitting, running, and plate discipline with untapped raw power.  There’s still superstar upside here.  Speaking of which, I’d love to hit Grey upside his head.”  What the hey!  He looks like a 10/20/.280 guy to me, assuming he stays up, but assuming makes an ass out of the U. of Ming.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I’m on a mission to finish these minor league previews if it kills me. The off-season ran short, I got caught up with family and work, and here I am in mid-May scrambling to get caught up. Poor planning, my apologies to all of you. That said, y’all didn’t think I’d let you head into the weekend without a minor league update to step to did you? Oh hell naw! In no way, shape, or form would I ever leave you, my readers, my people, my children. Especially on a glorious Thursday! This week no one man ruled the roost more than the Washington Nationals’ Juan Soto. (Okay, Vlad, but how much can I write?) The 19 year old rightfielder with the sweet lefthanded swing, Soto saw promotion to AA Harrisburg last week. His Eastern League debut was the center of the prospect world, if only for that night, as it just so happened to come against the visiting Vladimir Guerrero Jr.. Soto did not disappoint, going 2-for-4, with a homer, a double, and 4 RBI. That was his AA debut, and we now have a week worth of games to dig into. While the .286/.400/.476 is pretty impressive, his walk rate of 16%, coupled with a downright OCD K rate of 16% is equally as impressive. To summarize, Soto is 19 in AA, hits for contact, hits for power, and has both elite walk and k rates for a player so young. Lance and I discussed Soto on Saturday’s new Prospect Podcast, and I ranked him at #2, when I teased an updated Top 25 on Twitter this past weekend. At this point it’s tough for me not to view him as the second best bat in the minors. Here’s why, Soto has never lacked production, he’s really only lacked health, with a couple of unfortunate injuries cutting his 2017 short. Otherwise, we might have seen him ranked inside the Top 10 entering the season. So far Soto has jumped three levels, walked more than he’s struck out, and has homered 13 times through 37 games in low-A, high-A, and AA. That’s Smut!

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Greetings, deep-league friends and other hangers-on!  Well, since we chatted last week, it’s happened again… a player most of us had never even heard of, Franmil Reyes, got a surprise promotion, and went from 0% owned to 38% owned in CBS leagues in the span of a few days. If you are in an NL-only or other extra-deep league, Reyes has probably already been scooped up, either by you or someone else, and time will tell if he becomes a fantasy asset (I’m a little skeptical after watching his first handful of at bats, but we shall see).  If nothing else, he gives his owners a chance at having a productive outfielder suddenly added to their teams — once again reminding us all that even in the deepest of leagues, help could be right around the corner when we least expect it. None of the names on this week’s list packs quite the excitement that our new friend Franmil generated with his call-up, but who knows if one of them might help you out in your NL-only, AL-only, or other deep league.

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Lot to unpack here with Robinson Cano (2B, Fractured Hand; Dumb)… First Cano took a fastball off the back of his hand and suffered a broken bone in his hand, then an even bigger disappointment hammer fell. Cano was suspended 80 games for taking performance enhancing drug. That brings him to an early August return. Yikes. Stash or Trash: Stash. He’s too good for you to drop. He’ll still have two months of baseball once he returns. Fill In: Yolmer Sanchez (22.2%.) Can’t believe I’m still recommending this guy! He’s got a nice 2B/3B eligibility, a .296 average and is hitting 2nd for the White Sox. Great fill in option now, and bench bat for later.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
   
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