Batting average is down this time of year, all the way down to a .236 league-wide average as of the Sunday morning I searched it. I know you all think I write these as you’re reading them, much like the Late Show airing at a later time than it is filmed. My world was forever changed when I realized that I had been duped by my parents, my friends, my teachers, but most cruelly, network television. Fake media indeed. It should be called “This Afternoon, But Later” with whichever comedian you used to respect hosting.
Anyways, batting averages are way down for most players, so you would think blurbs would have caught up to this fact. Well, good sir, let me tell you, this week…HEY I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU, YOU HAVE TO LET ME DO THE TELLING. As I was telling, this week I present a murderer’s row of batting average-based blurbs to remind you to not drink the Gallo-haters Kool Aid. There is no Mendoza line this year. It is the Year of Mendoza, so don’t let any blurb try to say, “His counting stats are there, but his bat leaves a lot to desire in the batting average department.” That is pure and utter laziness, a hack sentence meant to be a pithy put down but landing like a wet fish on a cement floor. Buddy, the entirety of baseball is leaves a lot to desire in the batting average department, not just you. Ready for some simple context?
| Players BA Range | Number of players in Range |
|---|---|
| +.300 | 17 players |
| .290-.300 | 7 players |
| .280-.290 | 18 players |
| .270-.280 | 14 players |
| .260-.270 | 16 players |
| .250-.260 | 17 players |
| .240-.250 | 14 players |
That would make 103 players hitting .240 and above, and these are not cheapy “in 19 at bats” occasions. Now for another table:
| League size | Number of Hitters Started |
|---|---|
| 10 team (3 OF, MI, CI, UTIL) | 110 hitters |
| 10 team (5 OF, MI, CI, UTIL) | 130 hitters |
| 12 team (5 OF, MI, CI, UTIL) | 156 hitters |
Low batting averages aren’t killing you this year. If you have the entire Mariners roster, sure, you’re dead in the water, but you don’t. A bro clocking a .220 batting average is not the category killer it has historically been. You will remember this, as I will beat it into your brains in short order.
A Blurbstomp Reminder
We will analyze player blurbs from a given evening, knowing that 1-2 writers are usually responsible for all the player write ups posted within an hour of the game results. We will look at:
- Flowery Diction – how sites juice up descriptions of player performance
- Q/Q – Combined with Flowery Diction this week
- Hex Enduction Power – where a blurb can make an injury much, much worse
- Bob Nightengale Syndrome – instances of updates that don’t update anything
- Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award – Given to the player blurb that promises the most and delivers the least.
The hope is that by season’s end, we’ll all feel more confident about our player evaluations when it comes to the waiver wire. We will read blurbs and not be swayed by excessive superlatives, faulty injury reporting, and micro-hype. I will know that I have done my job when Grey posts, and there isn’t a single question about catchers that he did not address in his post. Onward to Roto Wokeness!
Flowery Diction
Brandon Crawford went 1-for-4 with a home run and two runs scored in Friday’s 3-2 loss versus the Pirates.
Crawford hit what was the go-around home run at the time off Pirates reliever Duane Underwood in the eighth inning. Unfortunatley for him, Pittsbrugh would go on to tie the game in the ninth and win it in extra innings. Crawford is now batting .235 on the season, but with eight long balls and 19 RBI. Hopefully the 34-year-old will continue his current pace of play batting .286/.392/.643 with five homers over the last 15 games.
Nathan Eovaldi gave up two runs over 5 ? innings on Saturday to pick up a win over the Phillies.
Eovaldi gave up five hits and two walks while striking out four. Both runs came off one swing; a two-run homer by Rhys Hoskins. That homer is notable for a few reasons, but the biggest is that it’s the first homer that the right-hander has allowed in 68 innings of work. Considering the way the game is played today, that’s pretty insane. Eovaldi lowers his ERA to 4.39 and picks up his fifth win of the season against two losses. He’ll try and improve all of those numbers against the Marlins on Saturday.
Sources: Rotoedgeworldbettorsparadise.com
Two for the price of one, depending if you want to put a price on having to read me analyzing two blurbs. In Crawford, we see a classic BUTTE move: “Crawford is now batting .235 on the season, but with eight long balls and 19 RBI’s.” That is an absolutely fine batting average. Do not listen to this blurbist, they still think it’s 2019. They think Kim and Kanye are still married. They think there’s time to pull out of Brexit. No dude. No.
For Eovaldi, this sentence represents a rhetorical Sword of Damacles: “That homer is notable for a few reasons, but the biggest is that it’s the first homer that the right-hander has allowed in 68 innings of work.” He then does not provide the other reasons. I REALLY WANT THE OTHER REASONS. Don’t hold out on me man. I’m dying here. I don’t want to go out without knowing why this homer was so notable. Did Rhys Hoskins promise a kid he’d hit a homer for his dead dog? Did the ball burn up in the atmosphere??? You can’t leave me like this!
Q and Q
Jarred Kelenic went 2-for-5 with a run driven in on Tuesday against the Athletics.
Kelenic ripped an RBI single in the fourth on top of a base hit in the sixth. The 21-year-old is still hitting just .174 to begin his MLB career, but it’s pretty clear that the top prospect isn’t overmatched. Expect Kelenic to finish the year as one of the top rookies in baseball, and fantasy managers should remain patient.
Source: Rotoedgeworldbettorsparadise.com
This is an example of hype getting the best of a website. At the time of this blurb, Kelenic was hitting .174. He is now hitting .123, going 0-14 with a run scored and a stolen base since this blurb concerning his being over-matched. That is well, well, well below the standard deviations listed above. I would say that it’s very clear that Jarred is over-matched right now. He’s getting killed on sliders and cutters, and went from a 40% line drive rate at Triple-A to a 17% rate in the Big Fella League, which is more in line with his career numbers. His BABIP is an unsustainable .122, but I don’t see him suddenly turning around and Mike Trout-ing until next season.
To be super clear, Jarred Kelenic has been over-matched to start his career. He’s on a team that needs help with hitting, and I’m worried management is going to get antsy about the two no-nos and Mendoza line team hitting and send him down. I hope they keep him up, and I don’t even own him. I just want to own the Mets. We want more of the Galleria of Jewelry Jarred, and less of the Subway Jarred.
Hex Enduction Power
Trevor Story was removed on Thursday against the Mets due to arm tightness.
As one of the players expected to be moved before the trade deadline, the removal of Story obviously created the “hug watch” but it turns out that no move is taking place. He went 1-for-3 in the first game of a doubleheader and then was replaced by Raimel Tapia in the second contest after two plate appearances. Story should be considered day-to-day for now, but fantasy managers will want to keep a close eye on this situation.
Source: Rotoedgeworldbettorsparadise.com
I’ll keep this one quick. Rotoworld and Grey absolutely cursed Trevor Story. Prayer circle? More like Impair Circle.
Stephen A. Smith IMG_4346.jpeg Award
Alex Kiriloff went 3-for-4 on Sunday in the Twins’ loss to the Royals.
Kirilloff tallied a career-high three hits, all singles, in the low-scoring affair on Sunday afternoon. The 23-year-old top prospect missed nearly three weeks due to wrist sprain earlier this month and has struggled at the plate upon returning, hitting .305 (11-for-36) with just two extra-base hits.
Source: Rotoedgeworldbettorsparadise.com
Remember that Kelenic blurb I highlighted where he was hitting .173 and clearly wasn’t overmatched? Welp, Kiriloff is hitting .305 and has been STRUGGLING. Reading a blurb like this, you could take advantage of a Kirilloff owner in your league and try to posit that he’s struggling, but they would have to be an absolute tree stump to believe you. Considering the statistical context of the 2021 season, and the chart above, Alex Kirilloff is hitting quite well despite a wrist injury that could have required surgery. This is the “Unsinkable Titanic” of blurbs.
Before you start ruminating on the cause said batting average, the last thing I want to see in any comment section, or heck, the internet, is something like this:
GandolfiniLuvr80085 – Baseball is ruined because of th three true outcome. Players use to hit. They use to teach hitting. Remember that Fred McGriff video with the kids, and the balls going into those nice garbage cans? They also taught hitting, and the should. No one in this league knows hows to hit.
I read Twitter responses and have to hold myself back. I have more success arguing about the health benefits of vaccines on twitter than convincing Barstool stooges that the TTO approach is not ruining baseball. Advanced pitching metrics, defensive shifts, and I don’t know…a global pandemic might have something to do with it. You can’t just look at hitters in a vacuum and decide that pitchers or opposing team research doesn’t play a part in this. Or a dead ball that is deader than Kelenic’s bat. I don’t understand people, and most importantly, they don’t understand me. Are you still reading? Am I still writing? There’s only one way to find out…on the next episode of Avoiding the Blurbstomp!
