These post-dog days of summer, one finds oneself pondering the parallels of a fantasy season to one’s own lifespan. The seven-to-nine-month span of pregnancy covered in the January to March months leading up to drafts. You read countless draft day primers in the same manner one reads What to Expect When Expecting, Cribsheet, the novelization of the film Junior, or any pregnancy guide for parents. On draft day, you give birth to a roster of adult men, and there is much champagne and merriment. In the first month of the season, your team is a baby from ages 0-5, learning to walk, talk, and slowly becoming a person. The months of May to June follow your baby (team)’s ascension through teenagerdom, as you struggle to shape the identity of your child and improve their chances of lifelong (season-long) success. July represents your child’s 20’s and 30’s, a spectrum of human experience that ranges from spectacular success to floundering failure. August finds your baby now in their 40’s to 50’s, full of regrets and yet nostalgic for youthful triumphs. Your child now knows their true nature, and regardless of subtle lifestyle changes brought by mere tricks, the dog remains the same.
This brings us to September. Having just watched Akira Kurosawa’s “Ikiru,” I feel compelled to compare its dreamy, lonely dissection of one’s last days alive to owning a fantasy baseball team in September. We will all wake up on the last day of September and wonder how we arrived at this terminal. I hearten upon realizing that our children will be reborn come next spring, perhaps with new strategies (not drafting Cody Bellinger, Yoan Moncada, etc), but I already know I’m limiting my pre-season pregnancy-prep readings to Razzball and Fangraphs next year. In a world where everyone is an expert, the man with two sources is king. Or something.
I will continue to pore over the blurbs, of course, but this habit is like breathing. Writing this column has helped reshape my warped marriage with the fantasy baseball newscycle, in that I can consume for the lulz rather than feel a confused disappointment based on the lack of the analytical substance. I hope I spend this fall as Ikiru’s hero Watanabe at the end of the film, quietly grateful that I made small changes in my life, as I sit in a playground that I helped build, in a swing under the lamplight as snow begins to fall. You should watch this movie, friends.
A Blurbstomp Reminder
We will analyze player blurbs from a given evening, knowing that 1-2 writers are usually responsible for all the player write-ups posted within an hour of the game results. We will look at:
- Flowery Diction – how sites juice up descriptions of player performance
- Q and Q – when a site contradicts a player valuation on back-to-back blurbs
- TMI – when a blurb has more game recap than analysis
The hope is that by season’s end, we’ll all feel more confident about our player evaluations when it comes to the waiver wire. We will read blurbs and not be swayed by excessive superlatives, faulty injury reporting, and micro-hype. I will know that I have done my job when Grey posts, and there isn’t a single question about catchers that he did not address in his post. Onward to Roto Wokeness!
Flowery Diction
Fernando Tatis Jr. had a monster game in Saturday night’s 10-2 win over the Astros, going 2-for-3 with a home run, two runs scored, four RBI and two walks
Are we really surprised at this point? Framber Valdez decided to throw a first pitch sinker to Tatis with the bases loaded in the bottom of the second and Tatis ripped a single into right field, scoring Adam Frazier and Austin Nola. He then belted a two-run home run in the bottom of the eighth, increasing the Padres’ lead to what would become the final score. Despite all the injury scares he’s faced this season, the superstar infielder is slashing .283/.370/.641 with 37 home runs, 89 runs, 85 RBI, and 24 stolen bases over just 382 at-bats.
Source: Rotoedgesportsworld.com
What is a monster game? Tatis has had plenty of monster games, but I truly have an issue with this descriptive phrase. In my mind, a “monster game” involves multiple home runs, at least 7 Runs/RBI’s, 2 stolen bases, and more than three hits. A few weeks ago, Rotoworld promised that they “…Had run out of superlatives…” to describe Tatis’s performance. In the next sentence, the blurbist then described his triple slash as “sublime,” so I shouldn’t be surprised. Still.
About a month ago, on the day he returned from a shoulder subluxation, Tatis went 4-5 with two home runs, three runs scored and four RBI’s. That is a monster game, and yet Rotoworld didn’t use a single superlative to describe the performance. It kills me, because it was an absolutely monstrous performance, for a player I won’t ever own unless I luck into the top 1-2 picks the next few years. I’M JEALOUS YOU SEE, JEALOUS. Insanely Jealous, just like the Soft Boys. Anywho…
TMI
Buster Posey went 3-for-4 with a double and an RBI in Saturday’s 6-1 loss to the Dodgers.
With Kris Bryant on third and Evan Longoria on first in the bottom of the first, Posey smacked a double to right field off of Julio Urias, which scored Bryant and got the Giants on the board. He then reached base via a single in both of his at-bats in bottom of the fourth and bottom of the sixth. With tonight’s effort, he’s once again batting over .300 on the season. Over 319 at-bats, the former MVP is slashing .304/.395/.502 with 16 home runs, 57 runs, and 43 RBI.
Source: Rotoedgesportsworld.com
I’ll keep this briefer than a Bukowski matchbook poem. Where does Evan Longoria fit into this blurb? Is he an RBI owed to Posey that was called back? Was he thrown out at third? Fantasy analysis should not, in my humble hindsight biased opinion, include extraneous play-by-play info and lack in any kind of actual analysis. He hit sub-.230 for the month of August, but still scored 19 runs with a BABIP of .292. He may be running out of steam. There’s some analysis.
Q&Q
Yuli Gurriel went 2-for-3 with an RBI and a walk on Saturday against the Padres.
In the top of the first, Gurriel knocked in the first run of the game on a 95.2 mph single. He also smacked a single to leadoff the top of the sixth and drew a walk in the top of the eighth. With tonight’s effort, his OBP rose to .383 — a career best mark. He was overlooked going into this season and over 439 at-bats, he has a .314/.383/.467 slash line with 13 home runs and a stolen base.
Source: Rotoedgesportsworld.com
How was Yuli overlooked? He was drafted in all the leagues I participate in. Grey ranked him 29th in his Top 20 First Baseman list with a 70/21/83/2/.270 line. His line now sits at 67/14/73/1/.314, which puts him in line with a rather reasonable (and handsome) projection.
So if he’s playing in line with his projections, how can he have been overlooked? Maybe if you’re only counting batting average, a statistic that is nigh impossible to predict due to the IRL RNG that is Big Variance? His xBA is .267, which is eerie considering Grey’s projection. He’s not overlooked, he’s simply having some great luck this year.
Without the inflated BABIP (a career-high 30 points higher than his career average), Yuli is having a season ranked 81st overall according to Razzballs Year-to-Date Player Rater, but the bulk of his value is from his variance-elevated batting average. None of this is surprising. Yuli Gurriel is neither over nor undervalued. He is simply valued.
I’ll let you decipher those tea leaves by your lonesome.
Coop’s Doppelganger
Mychal Givens slammed the door on the Tigers in the ninth inning on Saturday, protecting a one-run advantage to earn his fifth save of the season.
Givens allowed a leadoff single to Robbie Grossman to put the tying run on base, but rebounded to retire Jonathan Schoop on strikes and then get Jeimer Candelario to bounce into a game-ending double play. He continues to impress in the ninth inning role for the Reds and now holds a 2.34 ERA and 1.25 WHIP over 42 2/3 innings. While David Bell is going to David Bell on occasion, Givens still looks like the best bet for save chances in the Reds bullpen.
Source: Rotoedgeworldsports.com
I don’t see David Bell as a mis-manager of bullpens. I do see David Bell having an evil doppelganger a la Twin Peaks: The Return, and this blurbist seems to agree. I believe there is a negative connotation regarding his bullpen usage, which I would understand if:
- We didn’t know Cincinnati has employed a loose committee for years
- The committee isn’t working and he’s costing the team wins
Neither of those lettered bullet points is true, so one can rewrite the last sentence without the allusion to deep-faking David Bell’s face onto Kyle MacLachlan’s unassuming face. Somewhere in LA, David Lynch is smiling his incessantly wizened smile as he finishes another meditation session, knowing he made me create these two paragraphs. David Lynch is going to David Lynch on occasion.
Technically, Generally, Basically
Julio Urias limited the Giants to just one run on eight hits over 5 ? innings while striking out eight in Saturday’s 6-1 win.
In a tough matchup, Urias held his own. The night started off on an interesting note, as he allowed three hits and one run in the opening frame, but he also struck out the side. He was allowing base runners all night, but for the most part, he managed to escape unscathed. This was his 16th win of the season, a mark that leads MLB. The 25-year-old southpaw has a splendid 3.11 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, and 168/32 K/BB over a career high 156 1/3 innings pitched. A road matchup against the Cardinals is up next.
Source: Rotoedgeworldsports.com
Here is an example of how not to use an adverbial phrase. “For the most part” means that the subject of the phrase is not totally true. Urias gave up a run in the first inning. The third sentence is like early-2000’s GPS trying to get you to use an exit off the highway that’s been closed for decades. “He was allowing base runners all night, but for the most part, he managed to escape unscathed.” He did escape unscathed, because he allowed no further runs. When in doubt, write less…which is a creed I abuse twice weekly now.
Happy blurbing friends! For those in the playoffs, keep playing! For those in season-long formats, especially those in the cellar, keep playing spoiler. The only thing better than winning is purposefully ensuring a leaguemate loses the league by half a category point!
