Ah yes, so we meet again… wait, did we actually formally meet? I mean, technically, we’re meeting again, this is the third year we’ve done this… but did we really meet? Of course I’m an existential crisis waiting to happen, but that’s only because clinical depression requires so much work. I mean, I’d rather jog than emo, ya know? But back to where we started, this is your (and our I suppose) official 2016 Razzball picks. Or selections. Or whatever nomenclature you prefer. I guess whatever it takes for me not to force you to read word “nomenclature” over and over again. We do this because, frankly, we just can’t write about everyone and everything that we love or hate. I mean, we’re talking about 853 players here (source). And so this is the quick and easy “viewer-friendly” version that allows you to quickly see our likes/dislikes/predictions for all of you to promptly point and giggle at. And for added humor, here are last season’s picks, with the bonus value of us again being able to pick on Rudy for choosing Kris Bryant as his sleeper. I’m assuming he thought Bryant was just sleepy and needed a nap, but you might want to ask him about it. Regardless, here are your (and our!) Official 2016 Razzball Picks!
Ever wanted to have a Razzball Podcast devoted to Game of Thrones? No? Oh. Never mind then. But for those of you with an open mind, we have just that for you. Check out our very first episode here!
Note: Everyone chose their picks blind, meaning they didn’t see anyone else’s choices, and possibly used a blindfold. Also, the choices were locked on 3/30/2016.
Major League Baseball Picks
Writer | ROY (NL) | ROY (AL) | Cy Young (NL) | Cy Young (AL) | MVP (NL) | MVP (AL) |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Grey | Corey Seager | Byron Buxton | Gerrit Cole | Carlos Carrasco | Paul Goldschmidt | Jose Abreu |
Dan Pants | Corey Seager | Jose Berrios | Clayton Kershaw | Chris Archer | Giancarlo Stanton | Mike Trout |
Hodysseus | Corey Seager | Byron Buxton | Carlos Martinez | Chris Archer | Anthony Rizzo | Carlos Correa |
J-FOH | Trevor Story | Sean Manaea | Clayton Kershaw | Chris Sale | Kris Bryant | Mike Trout |
J.B. | Corey Seager | Byron Buxton | Clayton Kershaw | Chris Sale | Kris Bryant | Mike Trout |
Jay | Trea Turner | Max Kepler | Jake Arrieta | Dallas Keuchel | Andrew McCutchen | Mike Trout |
Kenyon | Roy Campanella | Roy White | 290-175 | 221-141 | A.J. Burnett * | Torii Hunter ** |
M@ | Steven Matz | Byron Buxton | Jacob DeGrom | David Price | Anthony Rizzo | Mike Trout |
Magoo | Corey Seager | Jose Berrios | Clayton Kershaw | Chris Sale | Bryce Harper | Mike Trout |
Malamoney | Tyler Glasnow | Jose Berrios | Stephen Strasburg | David Price | Paul Goldschmidt | Manny Machado |
MattTruss | Steven Matz | Byron Buxton | Madison Bumgarner | Carlos Carrasco | Bryce Harper | Mookie Betts |
Max | Corey Seager | Jose Berrios | Clayton Kershaw | David Price | Paul Goldschmidt | Mike Trout |
Ralph | Corey Seager | Byung-ho Park | Clayton Kershaw | Chris Sale | Paul Goldschmidt | Mike Trout |
Rudy | Orlando Arcia | Tyler Naquin | Clayton Kershaw | Carlos Carrasco | Giancarlo Stanton | Mike Trout |
Sky | Orlando Arcia | A.J. Reed | Stephen Strasburg | Carlos Carrasco | Anthony Rizzo | Miguel Cabrera |
Smokey | Steven Matz | Jose Berrios | Clayton Kershaw | David Price | Anthony Rizzo | Mike Trout |
SON | Steven Matz | Byung-ho Park | Clayton Kershaw | Chris Sale | Anthony Rizzo | Jose Altuve |
Tehol | Corey Seager | Byron Buxton | Carlos Martinez | David Price | Bryce Harper | Carlos Correa |
Viz | Corey Seager | Byron Buxton | Jose Fernandez | Chris Sale | Paul Goldschmidt | Mike Trout |
* “Assuming he unretires… and starts playing the outfield… which I’m pretty sure he will!” – Kenyon.
** “Assuming he unretires… which I’m pretty sure he will!” – Kenyon.
Fantasy Baseball Picks
Writer | Sleeper | Bust | Infatuation | Come Back | MVFP | MVFH |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Grey | Nick Castellanos | A.J. Pollock | Delino DeShields | Matt Holliday | Patrick Corbin | Jonathan Schoop |
Dan Pants | Yasmany Thomas | Nelson Cruz | Xander Bogaerts | Adam Wainright | Marcus Stroman | Manny Machado |
Hodysseus | Vincent Velasquez | Kyle Schwarber | Addison Russell | Hunter Pence | Carlos Rodon | Yasiel Puig |
J-FOH | Danny Valencia | Nelson Cruz | Justin Turner | Carlos Gomez | Kyle Hendricks | Josh Reddick |
J.B. | Joe Ross | James Shields | Patrick Corbin | Jean Segura | David Price | George Springer |
Jay | Joey Gallo | Chris Sale | Chase Headley | Shin-Soo Choo | Yu Darvish | Byung-ho Park |
Kenyon | Rip Van Winkle | Scarlett Johansson | Rosin Bags | Boomerang | Jenrry Mejia | A.J. Burnett *** |
M@ | David Peralta | Corey Dickerson | Mookie Betts | Anthony Rendon | Clayton Kershaw | Paul Goldschmidt |
Magoo | Randal Grichuk | Ryan Braun | Lucas Duda | Carlos Gomez | Patrick Corbin | Maikel Franco |
Malamoney | Jonathan Schoop | A.J. Pollock | Gerrit Cole | Robinson Cano | Felix Hernandez | Jason Heyward |
MattTruss | Carlos Rodon | Nelson Cruz | Mookie Betts | Anthony Rendon | Noah Syndergaard | Carlos Gomez |
Max | Jake Odorizzi | Freddie Freeman | Anthony Rizzo | Adam Wainright | Jon Lester | David Ortiz |
Ralph | Michael Saunders | Adam Jones | Jose Peraza | Matt Holliday | Carlos Carrasco | Kevin Pillar |
Rudy | Josh Reddick | Troy Tulowitzki | A.J. Reed | Marcell Ozuna | Clayton Kershaw | Giancarlo Stanton |
Sky | Jose Peraza | Carlos Gomez | Jonathan Villar | A.J. Griffin | Clay Buchholz | Travis Shaw |
Smokey | Danny Valencia | Gregory Polanco | Rougned Odor | Jean Segura | Michael Wacha | George Springer |
SON | Michael Conforto | Chris Davis | Paul Goldschmidt | Yasiel Puig | Clayton Kershaw | Jose Altuve |
Tehol | Trevor Story | Freddie Freeman | Domonic Brown | Matt Wieters | Cole Hamels | Justin Upton |
Viz | Khris Davis | Adam Jones | Danny Salazar | Yu Darvish | Jose Fernandez | Delino DeShields |
*** “Assuming he unretires… and starts playing the outfield… which I’m pretty sure he will!” – Kenyon.
Break Out Player of The Year (Sleeper)
You might think we’re describing someone who breaks through walls and then falls asleep really fast. Which seems weird. So I wouldn’t really put it past us… To limit the confusion, I’d better point out that these are our potential break out candidates that you should be grabbing long and grabbing hard.
Most Overrated Player of The Year (Bust)
These are the guys being held on a pedestals, who will, in return for all your worship and sacrifice, ruin everything thing you hold dear. See: 2014, Fielder, Prince. Or 2015, Longoria, Evan. Take heed Razzballers, avoid these guys at all costs.
I Think I Love You, So What Am I So Afraid Of? (Infatuation)
Yep, we all have one. Find out which player your Razzball writer has an undying love for, despite any rational reason or purpose.
Come Back Player of The Year (Come Back)
Again, pretty easy to figure out what this one means. Unless you’re Josh Hamilton. BURN.
Most Valuable Fantasy Pitcher (MVFP)
This is where things get sticky. That’s what she said. Technically, this could be the best pitcher overall… but the key word here is value. You know this because I underlined it. While the vanilla pick of Clayton Kershaw could still technically be the most valuable pitcher at the end of the year, there’s still enough room in the definition to allow the possibility that Bruce Chen will come out of retirement, have an ERA of 2.50 and get 20 wins. Seeing as his ownership rate historically always stood in the nothing-to-negative digits and someone like Kershaw is gone by the second round, a performance like that would be the most valuable in the history of mankind. And probably destroy the universe as we know it.
Most Valuable Fantasy Hitter (MVFH)
Same thing as the Most Valuable Pitcher, but with hitters. CRAZY, I know.
Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his digs over at the Football side of Razz.