Like the end of anything that was good, there is only one thing left to do as the MLB regular season comes to a close: lay it down really hard. Finish strong, as they say. Earn your season-long awards. Kershaw is possibly making his last case for a seemingly deserved MVP as a starting pitcher tonight and he has the added motivation to embarrass his team’s greatest rival and clinch the NL West. After spending the majority of the year avoiding writing about my beloved Dodgers, I can no longer avoid the allure. Tonight offers a matchup as sexy as anything to come out of San Fernando Valley in the last 20 years. Let’s start with the NL Cy Young and MVP probable, Clayton Kershaw, P: $14,800. Considering that the best starting hitter on the Giants BvP line is held by Pablo Sandoval who has a growing trend of being incapable of hitting from the right side, Kershaw is a no-brainer today. The NL MVP should have no problem punishing the shrinking Giants’ bats into submission. Sandoval’s leading BvP by the way is 14-54 with 3 2Bs equaling a .596 OPS… the best they have to offer.

I got ideas and the DFSBot has finely honed predictions. You have ideas and the DFSBot has finely honed predictions. The DFSBot is critically acclaimed on the internets. I sleep at night and the DFSBot never stops working. You and I have a lot in common. I hope you sleep too. Listen to the DFSBot.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Let’s break this down like Murray Chass would want it. Felix Hernandez has the 2nd best ERA in the AL, fourth most Ks, and 14 wins. When his team needed a win more than anything, so Grey (me) could possibly collect on a preseason bet he foolishly made for the Mariners to win the World Series, Felix choked up 8 ER in 4 2/3 IP, raising his ERA to 2.34. Felix has the 2nd best xFIP, 3rd best WAR for a pitcher and 8th best K-rate, but since we’re doing this as Murray would’ve wanted it, “What the flip is xFIP and I fought in Dubya Dubya Two and F-Her doesn’t know anything about WAR! Now stop with the Pollyanna chicken crap!” Did F-Her just lose the Cy Young award? He did if all the voters are subjected to a fifteen minute wait in a post office line with Mr. Chass. “Mr. Chass, did you print out an email to snail mail it?” “I don’t trust the internet!” Did the Mariners just lose all hope at the playoffs? F-Her, you effed me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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The time to trim the fat was probably about a month ago, but if you haven’t started making your moves of desperation, there is no time like the present. By the time this posts, we’ll have six games left to play with. That means that anybody who is hurt gets the axe. Any starter making their final start of the season gets thrown to the curb as well. It’s time to chase that one stolen base, that one win, that one save. Grab the guys with the best matchups, a full schedule, and feel free to stream any position you want. While the players listed below are the latest trends on ESPN, each league is different and each league’s standings are too – so you do you. Good luck and thanks for checking in on the waiver trends with us this season!

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What is there left to say at this point of the season? Many of the leagues have been won long ago. I know there are a few tight races left, and if you are in one of them, then a tip of the cap to you. By this time next week, we will be crowning a new grand champion and sending out the cool trophy to them as a way of saying thank you for kicking all of our a$&#%. It’s pretty neat to see this all unfold from a behind the scenes perspective. Last year, I finished near the top and paid little attention to anyone else, but this year, I get a ringside seat into the battles for supremacy. This is mostly due in part to me sucking it like quad-A club across the board. But, like I tell myself every year, you have all offseason to beat yourself up and get ready for a fresh start next year. I usually signal January Grey as my time to put down the bottle, get it together, and start loving this game again. In case you top-10 teams have forgotten, this is what you are playing for…

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Wasn’t even planning it but my title is quite the send off to my turns at the Fantasy Baseball DraftKings posts this year. I’ve had some highs – Hot Carrasco Sauce! – and some lows (J.A. did NOT, in fact, make me Happ-y) but in the end, I’m happy with how the season went. We learned together, we played in a few 10 team leagues together. we sucked together…of course, the key thing in all of this is the word ‘together’. So without getting all sappy, let me just say thanks and move on to my final DK roundup, shall we? Yes, let’s. I always do my best to not only find value but to find breakout value. I highlighted my Carrasco call because if you’re gonna aim low, you gotta aim high…that made more sense in my head before I typed it. My point is, if you’re not spending beaucoup bucks on an arm, they better offer you the chance to pay up for upside elsewhere or to offer major upside themselves. It’s why Bauer at home was a scary proposition every time but also a 40 point outing possibility that you just couldn’t ignore. Well, maybe it was just I that couldn’t ignore. Speaking of pitching at home, Henderson Alvarez has some pretty drastic splits on the year in terms of DK points. There’s almost a 7 point swing for Henderson pitching away vs pitching at home and he’s also thrown 3 complete game shut outs in the house of the Unicorn vomit. Clearly he’s a home schooler and with that, he gets a prime matchup against a Phillies team that’s not even treading water right now. There just haven’t been many bright days for the Phils of late as they have the 4th worst K%, and the second worst wOBA/wRC+ over the last 14 days. This is not a team out there looking to conquer. They’re looking to be vanquished and Henderson is in a prime sitch to do just that. Given his price tag of $7,200, he makes it easy to roster a pitcher priced over 10K today if you’re so inclined. And for Henderson, that’s really Alvarez to it so let’s move on. Here’s some more hot takes for the Tuesday DK slate…but before you go! Yeah, I’ll still be doing some off-season baseball stuff but if you’re a DraftKings nut and wanna play the football side of this crazy world, keep up with us over on the Football side, would ya? I’ll be your DK guide most weeks so come hang. Ok, now on with the show…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Didja you know The Captain from Captain & Tennille’s real name is Daryl Dragon? Why would this guy have a nickname? Your name’s awesome, you don’t get a nickname. Daryl Dragon has bedtime slippers that are cooler than you. Daryl Dragon washes his hands, then breathes a not-very-intense fire on his hands to dry them. Daryl Dragon can’t get a speeding ticket. “Okay, Mr. Dragon, I’ll let you go this time with a warning because your name is Daryl Dragon.” Any the hoo! Michael Pineda continues to dominate sans pine tar fingers. At least I don’t think he has pine tar on his fingers. Imagine he was really a Caucasian pulling a fast one? His ERA is now down to 1.93 after a 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 1 Walk, 8 Ks gem. For 2015, I picture him being overdrafted due to the Yankees thing and the insanely low ERA, but it’s gonna be hard to be as excited about him due to his 6.30 K-rate, and 3.61 xFIP. You, sir, are no Daryl Dragon. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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The season ends this week, which means pretty soon I’ll be DVR’ing AFL games and streaming grainy video of the Dominican Winter League to get me through the bitter offseason. For the teams that are still in it, a close battle in the steals category can sometimes mean the difference between winning and losing. We’ve turned to many different SAGNOF types this year, but with so few games left I’m looking at adding any and all players that can help me gain ground in the category – even if they are just pinch runners. Listed below are four players who may steal a base or two even if they do absolutely nothing else. That includes getting a hit. This strategy is best for leagues where you can afford to lose a marginal player, you can make daily roster moves, and you have a cushion in the other cats like homers and RBIs. Personally, I’m rostering some of these pinch runners in leagues where I need 3 or 4 steals to catch that next point in the roto standings. Teams highlighted in green are below league average in caught stealing percentage, making them good targets. All of these players have seven games this week so they have the most opportunities to get in there and swipe a bag. Good luck on the basepaths and I’m looking forward to seeing you all at Grey’s place for the big “football” game. Make sure you bring the poppers.

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At the end of the year, you can look at season long stats and try to build a DK lineup and I can pretty much promise you, disappointment will follow. You see, season is all but done, bro and bro-ettes. That means guys get tired. The studs of May, June and July give way to the youthful, the fresh guys of the DL and the DFAs who get invigorated by their new teams. De Aza, I’m looking directly at you…and many of my season long teams thank you. But truly, if we were to look at the baseball season like it were cut up into the different eras of the Beatles catalog, September would have to be the psychedelic phase. Everything you thought you knew about the baseball season just doesn’t apply right now. Oakland has been a ‘bad’ team for a couple of months yet their record on the surface says otherwise. Nelson Cruz leads the MLB in HRs with 39 but most of those HRs came in May with 13. And in the end, what happens works now in context but overlapping with the season it seems just completely out there. Going from ‘Love Me Do’ to ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ is quite the drastic jolt, Lennon. I Am The Walrus? Shut the f@#$ up, Donny! Now where was I? Oh yeah, all this to say, hanging your hat on season stats don’t get you nowhere. Case in point, Tyler Matzek. Season stats tell you he’s pretty mediocre. The ERA is 4.19…meh. The K/9 says 6.69…ambien pills. But let’s look at Tyler through a different lenses…say from the start of September. This Tyler has a 1.74 ERA over 20.2 IP to go with 19 K and 6 walks. For you non-mathies out there, that’s an 8.27 K/9 and a 2.61 BB/9 rate. Sure, I ain’t streaming him nor am I throwing him into any cash games but I think even with the plum matchup against the Padres, Matzek will be overlooked and underowned because he’s been ‘so bad for so long’. Well, so long to that so bad call. Ride the young arm to victory friends. And with that, let’s move on. Here’s some other hot takes for your Monday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check theDFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday was the first day of autumn; this demands a poem. I call this, “Naked Prince Fielder Has The Definition Of Melted Tootsie Rolls.” The passing of summer; it’s a total bummer. Word, word, word; man, I’ve gotten dumber. Michael Brantley was da bomb; Napoli’s mom has got it going on. Jose Abreu would’ve been a sweet draft pick; Frank Thomas sued him for copyright infringement. Kershaw’s FIP is 1.87 on all hitters; Sonny Gray’s got selective dyslexia, using my teams for his personal shitter. Everything will be okay in this final week; Avisail Garcia is on a streak! Garcia went deep twice yesterday for his 6th and 7th homers. If he’s out there, of course you grab him. I’d prefer to talk about Avisail Garcia for 2015 fantasy baseball. He was a preseason sleeper this year, and he will be again in fifteen-after-twenty because he missed five months this year with an injury. Yes, he looks like Miggy, but he doesn’t act like Miggy. He’s a 20/20 type guy without killing you on average. In this injury-plagued year, his stats don’t look exactly as he has in the past, but that’s probably due to shutting it down in April and starting it up in August. I wouldn’t be surprised if in a few years we look back at this year and see how it didn’t portend anything. Unless he really did learn how to take a walk, as he’s shown this year. Though, I kinda doubt it. I expect he’s a line drive machine, 17-20 homer and 15-steal guy with a solid-enough average. Think what you were expecting from Brantley, rather than what you ended up with. Now smoke a spliff! Oh, wait, I stopped rhyming about ten lines ago. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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The end is here, and the needs of the few take precedence over the many. If you’re playing for the championship in your H2H league, then you need this. If you are in the hunt for your roto title, then this is for you. If you’re playing for fifth place, well… then better luck next year. Your title may come down to one stolen base, one home run or a few extra RBI’s to edge out your opponent. A batty call today is gone tomorrow, and a new one comes in and takes the others place. I’m still going to keep the % owned low, but be aware of who has been dropped as other owners become desperate and have to drop a “stud” who has been cold to the free agent pool. Either way I’m throwing my Creepers out there like the Amigos threw the villagers at El Guapo’s gang at the end of the Three Amigos. I like the music for more dramatic effect.

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