Hello, peeps! It’s the day before the most wonderful day of the year: it’s Chocolate Eve! Today, somewhere in a burrow far, far away, the Easter Bunny is busily laying his eggs and packing them into baskets, ready to be delivered to all the good children. (Sidebar questions: Why is a rabbit laying eggs? Why is he a he and not a she? Why use baskets, an incredibly impractical mode of transportation for eggs? WHY IS HE GIVING AWAY HIS OWN CHILDREN TO BE EATEN?). And if you’re good today (at drafting your FanDuel team, that is), perhaps you will be delivered a bunny-dle of cash tomorrow along with all that chocolate. So let’s hop to it and look at some options for FanDuel for Saturday April 15.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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It’s that time of the week again, you know time to tune into Halp and Ralph, and get your prospect plug in. This week we dive into some of the top performances of the last week in the minors. We talk a little Moncada, a little Hader, of course some Harrison Bader, and a few low minors bats with big upside. We start the show off talking about our many powerful political affiliations that have been cultivated through out extensive prospect knowledge. Seriously, Halph is power-brokering like you read about. Hell, I’ve been to at least 7 secret meetings in the last week. Often they’re disguised as poker games, but as Ice Tea says, this ain’t no poker game. Amirite Noisewater? It’s the latest edition of the Razzball prospect podcast.

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One-time Mariner Tom Paciorek was the face of the organization for the better part of the last 40 years.  Ken Griffey Jr. once said of Paciorek, “For many years, Seattle fans came up to me and asked if I was a very tan Paciorek, because Paciorek left such an indelible mark.”  Edgar Martinez once said of Tom Paciorek, “You can’t think of the Mariners without thinking of Tom Paciorek.  He’s so gutsy, you’d think he got those guts from a local abattoir that provides Wilson with its top-notch tennis racquets.”  Randy Johnson has said, “I got the idea for my mullet from Tom Paciorek’s back hair.”  All of this flattery heaped on Paciorek, and he said, “You guys need to check out Mitch Haniger!  Now amscray before I dazzle you with a bon mot.”  Wow.  The modesty on that Paciorek.  In Triple-A last year, Haniger had 20 HRs, 8 SBs and a .341 average.  His BABIP was a bit high, but he likely won’t drain your batting average below, say, .250.  He already has 3 HRs and one steal, and is 26 years old, so his time is now.  Plus, the Mariners are playing him, and batting him in a good place in the order.  There’s little reason why you shouldn’t at least give him a shot on all fantasy teams.  After all, he has the Tom Paciorek Seal of Approval (ToPa SeaApp, trademark pending).  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

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Being in a crazy deep league can be a double-edged sword. Planning for a draft or auction where you know your last roster spots are going to be filled by players who are literally listed as 0% owned in some formats can be mildly terrifying. But in a weird way, it can make the first few weeks of the season easier. When the names at the top of the waiver wire are Rickie Weeks and Matt Cain (and, yes, those are actually the names at the top of the wire in my deepest AL and NL leagues, respectively), you have no chance to second-guess yourself. If you were worried about Jharel Cotton or Mike Foltynewicz’s atrocious first starts, for instance, you couldn’t just rashly dump them to take a flyer on Charlie Morton or Hyun-Jin Ryu… because those players are already ensconced on another team as someone’s third or fourth best starter.

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Finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Who won week one? Before I answer that question let’s talk about the top batters from the week. Paul Goldschmidt and J.T. Realmuto led the way with 32 points. Goldschmidt is an Unpickable. Despite this fact, he was picked by one competitor, turning 32 points into zero. Realmuto was not picked by anyone. The next top hitter was Brandon Belt, who totaled 31 points. Belt was selected by four people. One of these people was the winner. In addition to Belt, the winner also chose Ian Kinsler and Justin Turner. The winner from week one, with a total of 70 points, was Chris Montgomery. Congratulations Chris on earning a bid into the playoffs in just the first week.

Here are the top five finishers from Week 1…

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Now that I’ve got your attention – I want to point out that it is indeed true that Noah Syndergaard is way worse than Scott Feldman. Now I hear everyone asking – in what stat or skill could Thor be worse than Scott Feldman? Well, the singular skill of preventing steals. Thor just happens to be the absolute worst at it in the game. Yes, worse than Jon Lester, who refuses to throw to first because it crushes his soul. In 333.2 innings, Thor has allowed a eye-opening 86% of runners to steal successfully (worst in the majors amongst pitchers who have thrown at least 300 innings since 2013). However, it’s not just the rate at which players steal on him, it’s also the volume – he allows a stolen base once every 5.3 innings. For someone who doesn’t allow that many base runners, that’s a staggering number – and it’s by far the worst in the majors – the next 3 worst are Tyson Ross, the aforementioned Scott Feldman, and Jimmy Nelson, who allow a stolen base once per 6.6, 6.7 and 6.9 innings, respectively. Looking at it another way, 21% of the runners who get on 1st base and aren’t blocked, steal – and like the other statistics mentioned, that is by far the worst in MLB. While this wart has done nothing to stop Thor’s dominance, ignoring it in DFS could hinder your dominance. Don’t be afraid to target basestealers against Thor – yes, they have to actually get on base, which is not easy, but if they do, that 3-point single suddenly becomes a 9-point single and stolen base. Also, Scott Feldman is pretty bad in his own right at this (13.7% of unblocked runners steal, only 4th worst.)

Picks are coming right after this stolen base vs Thor…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Okay, hooligans and hooligals!  I did my best to ward off Rudy from recommending the title, “I’m Keano For Severino.”  Or his 2nd recommended title, “Poop Breath < Severino.”  I think Rudy’s been drinking.  So, as they say when they remove tassels from cow udders in Tennessee, “Playtime’s over, let’s get down to business!”  Yesterday, Luis Severino threw 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks to lower his ERA to 4.50.  Maybe not so much better than poop breath?  I keed!  Much better.  Between the lines, where the game is played as I sound vaguely like George Will, Severino looks dominant.  Fastball: 97 MPH, ground balls around 45%, xFIP at 1.95.  Okay, I just put tassels on my udders, because those numbers are gorgeous.  There’s not much fun to be had in his division and park, but his stuff should play anywhere.  I’d absolutely look to add him in all leagues; he’s dramatically better than poop breath!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Coming off a start in which he whiffed a career high 12 batters, Brent Honeywell continued his scorching hot start last night. The righty went 7 innings, allowing 1 run, 1 hit, and striking out 8 in the process. Now at AA Montgomery, Honeywell looks to ride his varied arsenal, including his infamous screwball, to the show by the end of the year. The only real question with Honeywell at the moment is, just how aggressive the Rays get moving him along? His control has always been elite, leading to walk rates in the 4-6% range. And while the ability to generate swings and misses has always been there, it’s noticeably ticked up this season. The time to buy Honeywell might be now as he continues his assault on the AA Southern League. I’m never one to invest much in a pitching prospect, particularly one in the AL East, but Honeywell is the rare exception.

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As my first job out of college, I worked at a call center with a guy named Phil Sousa. Customers would regularly ask him if he was related to John Phillip Sousa, the famous composer nicknamed The March King. My co-worker would laugh at the absurdity of the question, but would play it off smooth with the customer, saying something like, “No, it’s just a coincidence.” Very Office Space. I’ve got to think that today’s lead man Steven Souza Jr. has gotten that thrown his way once or twice. I bet he gets more Sousaphone jokes than John Phillip, but that is almost too obvious. This is a roundabout way of me referring to Souza as The Marsh King (Florida being a swamp, get it?). Anyhow, in today’s post, I’m going to look at a selection of outfielders that have caught my attention, including my thoughts on their impact in OBP leagues. 

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REL baseball logo newA full week plus is in the books!  It’s still happy-fun-small-sample-time, but in the REL, rebuilding and tanking teams are already feeling the strain, while the big boys up top are taking their seats on the throne.  No, that wasn’t toilet humor!  Although it really wouldn’t be on you – dear reader – to think it was, knowing us clowns here at Razzball!

The illustrious 2016 Champion Nationals have already taken over the top spot as they aim to repeat with the NL pennant, but a nice start from the surprising Cincinnati Reds is a nice story line to open the year.  While in the AL, the Tigers have started off strong to try and represent the AL in the 2017 World Series, thanks to some great starting pitching in the Tigers rotation, plus a strong start for Chris Devenski.  Good luck to everyone in the REL over the next week!

Here’s how week 2 went down in the 2017 REL League:

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