The title comes from Rudyard Gamble's novel about a young Astros prospect named Carlos Correa that is saved by a non-Portuguese man named Jeff. Jeff Luhnow is his full name, and he's the only straight man named Jeff in the northern hemisphere. A point that Rudyard only alludes to in the 4th chapter, when he says, "As he read the Doppler radar outputs that track the ball in three dimensions, Jeff chewed corn from the cob, careful to not disturb his mustache that still had the fragrance of a dame." The adventure novel is full of twists and turns. Correa is signed as a 17-year-old in 2012 and hits, then is called up to Single-A and hits, then is called up to High-A and hits, then is called up to Double-A--Now that I think about it, it's pretty straightforward. Not too many twists. Correa hits everywhere he goes. According to the novel, Correa even succeeds when he comes upon a fellmonger on the Appalachian plain. Rudyard's adventure novel first appeared in serialisation form in SABReader's Digest underneath the horoscope. A fact that once disturbed Rudyard, but when his horoscope read, "The two-plus months of waiting are over, Correa's being called up," even he took pause. Any the hoo! I already went over my Carlos Correa fantasy about two weeks ago. I told everyone to grab him then, so the same holds true now. If you don't think you have room, think of the trouble Jeff, Rudyard and Correa went through to make this possible. Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
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To paraphrase Collective Soul, "Diamondbacks, your cup runneth over with outfielders. Don't scream about! Don't think aloud! Trade an outfielder now, baby! Just spit him out! Don't worry about! Don't speak of doubt! Turn your organization's head and spit Trumbo out!" From Collective Soul's website (that was surprisingly not a Geocities site or Myspace), they're still touring. Coming to a church bingo hall near you! So, the Mariners acquired Mark Trumbo and Vidal Nuno for Welington Castillo, Dominic Leone, Jack Reinheimer and Gabby Guerrero. During one of the games I took in at spring training this year, I screamed at Guerrero, "Hey, number ninety-two," because I had no idea who he was and the media guide only went up to ninety-one. Then I jawed at Guerrero for about ten minutes, giving him a little taste of some major league heckling. Now that I realize who he was, it turns out we were both Gabby. This doesn't do anything major to anyone's value. Diamondbacks were one of the best team offenses in this little thing we call reality, so if anything, Trumbo takes the smallest of hits. Park-wise, Mark can be Trumbomb or Trumboner anywhere, so I'm not concerned. The ones that get the biggest value boost here are David Peralta (2-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) and Castillo. Welington relocates his boeuf to the desert and becomes an everyday catcher with 15-homer power and a .270 average. Definitely grab him in NL-Only and two-catcher leagues. Peralta will have a chance to prove himself, but he's more of a 14-homer, 8-steal guy, so nothing huge. This does stop the Diamondbacks from benching A.J. Pollock (2-for-4, 2 runs, 7th homer, and 2nd in as many games; grab him!), Ender Inciarte (0-for-5) and Yasmany Tomas (3-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI) when Jake Lamb returns. Or as Lamb would say, "Not baaaaah for either team." Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Entering June, it's becoming a two-horse race between Hannibal Montana (Csifu) and Razzball's own J-FOH in our dynasty league - the Razznasty. There's a group duking it out behind them, but both teams have pretty much dominated the league so far. Since our last update, J-FOH has pulled away from R'azbahl Al Ghul and closed the gap on Csifu's first-place lead. Csifu's squad continues to pitch incredibly well with an absurd 2.56 team ERA. J-FOH leads the league in homers (by 18), and has gone toe to toe with Csifu in wins and saves. His 3.04 team ERA is good for second in the league while his WHIP is sitting third. Somehow these two teams managed to avoid the starterpocalypse and forgot to invite the rest of us into their bunker. Read on for a look at the full standings, this month's trades, and our league's FAAB report.
Daily Fantasy Baseball is a lot of fun. A tremendous amount of fun, really. I hope you can tell by our writing and coverage here that we really have a passion and a heart for this game. Every day/night we look over the slate, check out the weather, lineups, matchups, etc., and roster a team, or teams, if you like.
We watch in excitement, heartache and sometimes more heartache. We sweat, hold, pump fists, tweet, tweet some more, and then call it a night before doing it all over again. Heck, I'm smiling just thinking about it.
But here's the thing. Sometimes, when you're not feeling it, just walk away for the night, turn off the phone and don't play.
Wait, what? Why would you walk away when you are having a great time? Well, maybe you're not having a great time. Maybe it's a slate on which you just aren't feeling it or can't get a handle. Take the night off. Or, at least, don't play as much bankroll as you normally would. If you are a 10 percenter, which means 10 percent of your current balance is all you will play, at the max, then maybe on a night like I described you pare that back to 2-5 percent or only play cash games.
I love to play, but there have been times when I wished I listened to my gut and cut it back because I just didn't know what to do at SP or struggled with putting together a fun, sound lineup for tournaments.
I'll do my part here, I'll give you what I think for Wednesday's later games (330pm EST and later), the rest is up to you. Good luck!
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Welcome to Razzball, here is your pitching menu for this morning and afternoon. First off, we have plenty of arms to choose from on the Early Bird Special but that stops serving shortly. I can and will go over the choices on there later if you'd like but for now, I'd like to talk to you about our special for this evening: Jake Odorizzi. For just $8,000, you get a delicious splits difference in that Jake has a 2.87 xFIP and a K-BB% of 20.4% on the year against left-handed bats. Given that the Mariners boast around seven of those in their lineup on a given night, this is by far the most bang for your buck that we have on the menu tonight and if you choose correct sides around it, he might end up being able to feed your whole family for, like, a long, long time. Why am I wearing a tight, sheer tank top? Um, *covers kids' ears* Razzball is what we call in the industry a 'Breastaurant'. Woah, don't talk about my chest like that. It's only this small because I haven't landed my big gig in Hollywood yet to pay for the goods! *End Scene* - In all seriousness, Jake looks to be a fine cash game get for a very small slate of pitching on this evening and is probably my SP1 given the price and the ugliness surrounding him. In all seriousness part deux, we'll be covering a bit of the mid-day/morning slate because I have a bigger window to talk about it. In all seriousness part triple, I tip my cap to all of those who have given their lives for us. Your service is never forgotten. But with that, let's move on to what we came to do. Here's my seething hot takes for this Monday's DK slate...
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
The closest David Wright is to getting on the field is to smell the glove. The doctors have diagnosed him with spinal stenosis, which is the narrowing of the spinal column. "That sounds awesome, my column's way too wide," says a runway model. Has there ever been a situation, besides This Is Spinal Tap, where the word spinal has been good? Misspellings of spinal with l'pinas, the French Colada, does not count. The plains in Wright's pain fall directly on the spinal. Honestly, this sounds like an issue that will plague him this entire year and he's going to have a lost season. Not honestly, good news. On our podcast that is coming later today this ailment is compared to some football guy no longer doing football things due to spinal stenosis and how dropping Wright, if you don't have DL room, could be the, uh, right move. I sorta agree, but would try to hold him a bit longer, until we hear more. It does sound like this has the makings of "Can Wright bounce back in 2016?" articles. Anyway, here's what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Hey, it's Memorial Day weekend, so I assume most of you aren't here. I guess I'll be chatting with some of our playas' from Europe and that New Zealander Steve. Damn, that came out like I'm hatin' on Razzballs good buddy Steve. Sorry Steve, we miss you. With this title you might think I'm going to play a bunch of jazz tunes and that would be the most logical place to go, but not in the stream of confusion of my mind. Of course I started with Dizzy from one of my favorite jazz albums, but then my mind took an odd turn to Herbie Hancock and how this song changed a lot of musical perspectives for me. After absorbing all of that I fell deeper into the funk and the brilliance of the godfather of soul's backing band (now there is some dancing I want to see come back). Oh, that sweet sweet soul music from the Baby H to the contemporary Charles Bradley and Lee Fields. Now along the way, I had the local LA underground hiphop scene to deliver rare gems like the Breakestra, and speaking of hip-hop, I have to wonder what the world would be like without Herbie Hancock. Now, you might be asking yourself what this has to do with todays creeper or top 100, and all I can say is my mind is a place and I'm letting you step in it for a few. I also know you guys like talking about music so WTFN.
I'm going to introduce you to a word: chalk. No, not the kind you used to write 'I will not depants Sally in front of the auditorium full of parents during the Winter Christmas Pageant' 100 times. I'm here to talk about the DFS slang borrowed from the betting world. Here, chalk means the favorite or best play of the day. For example, we all know to greet each other with 'Happy Harvey Day' in the comments, but do you really need me to tell you he's good? Do you need that to be my opening post to you? There's your chalk. He's one of the best pitchers in the league and on a very short slate, he literally jumps off the pitching page when you look at the mere 12 on there. With that said, let's not waste words on what we already know, let's talk about something unknown: The B-52's were actually a good band. Subjective, you say. Well, let's say it differently then: in the small world of New Wave, they held their own. Let's consider this New Wave Monday with that in mind and consider Harvey The Talking Heads while we decide to Rock Lobstein. I'm not going to talk up Kyle Lobstein too much. He in and of himself is just an average MLB pitcher, but here's what I will talk about: The Brewers. So far on the year, the team has a wRC+ of 55 against LHP, good for second to last in the league. Factor in the 26% K rate against southies, regulars Segura and Lucroy on the DL, not to mention Gomez being beaned in the head on Sunday and likely out himself...well, the stars couldn't align more for Kyle. Sometimes you don't have to be the best play of the day to be a good choice. So let's Rock Lobstein together and look on to what other hot takes I have on the Monday DK slate...
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
The year was 2005 and my buddy kept talking about his fantasy baseball team. I had no idea what he was saying most the time, because I had never played the game before. Actually I had barely watched any baseball at all. I was a jaded strike fan who was as casual as they come with my knowledge of the game. I knew a little about the local teams and that was about it. Any the hoo, he kept going on and on about this Ryan Howard kid until that name was stuck in my head. Fast forward to March of 2006, he talked me into playing with him and "his" friends for fun... and money. I get to the 10th round of the draft and I need a 1B, so I remember the kid that got drilled into my head the year before and I take Ryan Howard with the pick. That year he put up a 104/58/149/0/.313 line and I won that league. Actually I won for lots of reason, I rosterbated before I knew what that was and I streamed like a mofo. I also never gave him a dime, he took my entry out of my winnings, kept some of it for the next season and I played with them for free for the next five seasons. I hearted Howard like Grey hearts Giancarlo. He was my savior that year. I think I drafted Gagne in the 5th and Fatolo in the 4th... I had no idea what I was doing. But I learned the game by doing and picked it up pretty fast, and now you get to see me at least twice a week. If this angers you, then blame occasional commenter the Birdman for me being here. It's all his fault.
[player]Max Scherzer[/player], [player]Jordan Zimmermann[/player], and [player]Stephen Strasburg[/player]. If that doesn't sound like the guest list for Temple Beth Sholom's Rosh Hashanah bash, I don't know what does. Who will the Nationals sign next, [player]Ryan Braun[/player], [player]Ike Davis[/player] or [player]Ian Kinsler[/player]? How many Jews does it take to win a World Series? Now before anyone goes and gets offended, let me say that I myself am Jewish, or at least I was raised as such. Bar Mitzvah and all. And that means that it's kosher for me make Jewish jokes. It's kinda like how African-American rappers and comedians are allowed to say the word that shall not be said. Shockingly, however, none of Scherzer, Zimmermann, nor Strasburg light the menorah. Say what!?! It's true. You won't find any of those names in Adam Sandler's next rendition of the Hanukkah Song. But while I'm on the topic, allow me to say that Hebrew National hot dogs are, by far, the best hot dogs one can eat. Actually all kosher hot dogs are pretty damn delicious. Most importantly, they are all beef. No uncertainly about what you are actually eating. After all, they answer to a higher authority!
Maybe I shamed the Marlins into caring about their bullpen. Maybe I'm just like my mother, she's never satisfied. Why do we scream at Steve Cishek? This is what it sounds like, when fantasy baseballers cry! Damn, I'll never get sick of Prince. Well, except when I have to rely on him to hit homers from my 1st base slot. As they removed Cishek from the closer role, the Marlins said, "Shrek has done a tremendous job for us, but at the end of the day, it's about winning games." They call Cishek Shrek? Is that so the 12-year-old Yelich isn't scared to room with him? Holy cow, have you seen Cishek?! He looks like he could be Yelich's younger brother! Do the Marlins pay their prospects in Girl Scout cookies? Does the team bus have to wait an extra five minutes every day so they can finish their paper route? Are Yelich and Cishek extras from the off-Broadway adaption of Drake & Josh? I have questions, y'all! So, Cishek is not only out, but looks like a flaming Pu-Pu Platter. I'd grab A.J. Ramos immediately, stash Mike Dunn and Bryan Morris and would even look at Rafael Soriano, since the Marlins said they might sign him. Oh, and once Henderson Alvarez returns, there's speculation Tom Koehler could close. A Koehlser?! In other words, this shituation is a closerousel, so hold on for your life. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mondays are just a mess. Most teams are traveling, the matchups that would seem to make sense sometimes just don't pan out because of...well I don't know what. I think travel fatigue plays a part. Look, we're all human. You travel from place A to place B, finally get into your humble abode and are you well rested? Do you feel a bit of the lag of the jet variety? Just to clue you in, athletes may be millionaires but they haven't built teleportation yet so just like you and I, they gotta deal with the troubles of travel. So for this Monday, I'm going a bit against the grain - unless that grain is for alcohol, then I'm all about said grain - and suggesting a pitcher who gets to enjoy a pitcher's park and there's no travel involved for him on this moving Monday. Said pitcher is Alex Colome, pronounced 'CALL-uh-may' but I just go with 'Call On Me' given his stats. Over 10 IP this year, he has 10 K and zero walks. I know, sample size small, obligatory 'that's what she said' following but the kid had aviary bird flu or sumpin' to start the year or we'd have a larger sampling to work with. Now the Yankees are a hard team to K (19.2% overall, 17.6% on the road) so we are really hoping for some of those old bones in that Yanks lineup to have themselves a sleepless in Tampa Bay moment. As the call ain't safe, it should be clear that this is a tourney only call and at $6,700, you don't have to break you DK wallet to see if his endline ends up as beautiful as that aerobics instructor. Yes, you gotta click the link to get it. No, you shouldn't really listen to the song. Yes, that is Steve Winwood...didn't I tell you not to listen? But enough of my talk about Swedish techno tracks, it's time for it. Here's my blazing hot take on the Monday DK slate...
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
