Finally, the phrase 'riding my jock' could be used in the Dodgers' clubhouse without referencing Alyssa Milano. Joc Pederson went 1-for-3, 2 RBIs with his 15th homer in the 1st game of the doubleheader, then 2-for-5, 2 RBIs with his 16th homer in the 2nd game of the doubleheader. He now has a .260 average to go with the 16 homers and 2 steals. Oh, bee tee dubya, he has 30-steal speed, we just haven't seen it yet! I don't even own him and he makes me goose pimply and go humma-humma-humma and get warm and fuzzy and make me want to dip my hand into wax and walk into Madame Tussaud's and say, "I'm Tom Selleck from the third floor." How is it even possible I like a guy I don't own? Am I getting empathic unlike Alice in Luther? This isn't coming out of nowhere either. He had the PCL's first and only 30/30 year in 2014. First time in 80 years someone had done that in the PCL. Not since Trout has a player gone from rookie to the first round, but this Joc has the tools! Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
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DraftKings – Well It Can’t Be Worse Than Last Week’s
May 31, 2015 | DraftKings | 12 Commentsby: Geoff
I'd like to start off by apologizing. Seriously I'm sorry. The whole ordeal was awful. I came on here waxed poetic about Carlos "F*$?#!G" Frias and what does he do? He goes out and proceeds to Main Street Grand Salami's, hangs 10 earned, and scores negative 19 points on DraftKings. I repeat NEGATIVE NINETEEN POINTS! That has to go down as the single worst piece of advice ever printed on Razzball. Needless to say Frias is on my donzo list. So if you decide to avoid any players I suggest this week I can't say I blame you. For everyone else still left, there's a lesson in my failure. Cheap pitching on DraftKings is risky. Some days you boom and find the gem of the contests other times you get Friased. I'm not sure the stink of that choice will ever truly wash away. Nevertheless I'm dusting myself off and stepping back up to the plate with a whole new list of DraftKings plays. Hey they can't be any worse than last week's. Right?!?
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Archer Takes A Bow For K-ing 12 Mariners
May 28, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 648 Commentsby: Grey
Felix Hernandez went 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners with 8 Ks, but wasn't the best pitcher in yesterday's gaymey. Damn! I wrote the preceding sentence in drool hanging from my mouth while looking at Chris Archer's stats, and got to the very end before my drool failed me, sorta like Boxberger failed the Rays. This post will be one part fawning over Archer, two parts awe and three parts peyote. Speaking of peyote, why are there jam bands, but not jelly bands? I put on 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover by Garfunkel's old partner and fell asleep. When I woke, I started singing, "Chris, there is something you can do to make me smile again. I said I appreciate that and would you please explain the fifty ways you can fix my ratios. You just throw a backdoor curve, swerve! Make a new game plan, man! You don't need to be coy, 12 Ks -- oh, boy! Just get yourself free to pitch every fifth day! Hop on the Nats bus and explain it to Effin Strasburg! You don't need to discuss much because you are so clutch! Just drop off the key and stay with me! There's fifty ways I can leave my Cougar!" Yesterday, Archer's line was 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 12 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.12. Fancy area code you got there! The crazy thing is his K-rate is 10.9, walk rate is 2.7 and xFIP is 2.59, which means he's as good as he seems. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Your One Penny Reserve Bid On Callaspo Has Been Met
May 27, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 728 Commentsby: Grey
At first, it was reported that Alberto Callaspo rejected the trade to the Dodgers. Leaving Alex Guerrero (1-for-2) to stare at Callaspo's smugshot-slash-you mad bro? face. Then, later in the evening, Callaspo apparently approved the trade of him going to the Dodgers and Juan Uribe heading the other way. A commenter mentioned how in the preseason, the management didn't have faith in Mattingly to start Pederson, so they traded away Kemp. It's a fun theory. One that might have a morsel of truth, but I think this trade might backfire. Here's a scenario for our five girl readers: imagine you were trying to get your man to change their yellow-pitted t-shirt, so you remove all the stained t-shirts from their hamper and throw them away, even his Bob Marley Buffalo Soldier t-shirt. When he realizes all his stained shirts are gone, what does he do? Does he wear the new shirts you bought him? Or does he scribble an oddly racist-looking Bob Marley on a hand towel and tape it to his chest? Mattingly could play Alex Guerrero at third with Uribe gone, but Justin Turner had started at 3rd base five times in the last week, not Guerrero, even with Uribe still in LA, and Callaspo is a 3rd baseman. So Uribe's gone, but I think Mattingly just wears a masking-taped, hand towel now. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
This was just announced by the Yankees' front office. "No Yankee will ever wear the last Monday of May on their jersey. 5/25-5/31 will all be retired. We dedicate this to all the Yankees who served honorably on federal holidays." When asked why Memorial Day and not Veteran's Day, the Yankees' brass said their roster celebrates Veteran's Day every day. The Yankees exploded for 14 runs yesterday on five home runs as Jeremy Guthrie (1 IP, 11 ER) got Vin Mazzacred! Chase Headley went 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer as Headley helped *pinkie to mouth* Chase! Guthrie. In the 1st inning, Brian McCann got into the action (1-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) with his 5th homer as he put up the bangfizzle, Stephen Drew added his one hit in five at-bats, his 5th homer, and, because Guthrie was doing a special Memorial Day giveaway with homers going to the first seven batters in attendance, even Slade Heathcott (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs) got into the action, hitting his 1st homer, and Slade Heathcott is merely just a name spit out by the Preppie Name Generator. But the one I really want to talk about after this clunky sentence intro is Brett Gardner (2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .285 and has 12 steals). Gardner gives you around the stats you were hoping to get from Jacoby Ellsbury, and at a fraction of the draft day cost. To quote Fonzie's horse, nay! It's not just Gardner's draft day cost, he's still likely cheap as dog balls to acquire in a trade. Everyone on the Yankees gets overrated, but somehow Gardner never does. Weird and interesting and everything you could want from a novel you find tucked away in someone else's beach blanket that you steal. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Thor Can Suck My Hammer, and the Top 100 Starting Pitchers, Week 6
May 18, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Rankings, Pitcher Profiles | 140 Commentsby: JB Gilpin
Man, I was coming into yesterday afternoon all pumped for today's Profile - high-caliber young gun in [player]Noah Syndergaard[/player] going on Sunday, facing my terrible Brewers, it was going to be a monster start... Andddddd - he plunks my favorite player [player]Carlos Gomez[/player] in the face. F you Noah! You went from Chris Hemsworth to whoever played the nincompoop in Blue Lagoon. What a ninny! And he didn't even look remorseful, but in retrospect while re-reading my open, he was a little shaken. Regardless, I only barely like him more than [player]Yordano Ventura[/player] now...
Biases be as they be (I think I heard that on some rap mixtape Grey made for me), but I still gutted through an objective-as-possible Pitcher Profile to break down how Syndergaard looked and how much we can expect from him in his rookie season:
If A Samardzija Gets Chopped In Baltimore And Nobody Sees It…
April 30, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 823 Commentsby: Grey
Chris Davis (1-for-4, 3 RBIs, hitting .268) hit his 5th homer, and the announcers said that it was all Davis since there was no breeze in the stadium. Could there have been no breeze because there were no one in attendance? Is that why they're called fans? Is the world devoid of wind without people? I feel like Mike Seaver on the Growing Pains episode when he figured out there was TV shows even if he was at school. This is mind blowing! I need to take a schvitz and clear my mind. Maybe Manny Machado (3-for-4, 3 runs and his 4th homer) plays better without a crowd, not taking after his uncle, Randy "Machado Manny" Savage. RIP, you raspy voiced lunatic! But, really, all of this offense was thanks largely to Jeff Samardzija (5 IP, 7 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA up to 4.78). When I type Samardzija in my iPhone, it autocorrects to, "Inseam Arduous." No truer words were ever autocorrected. If Devon Travis and Arenado were sitting on either of my legs and I had Samardzija pitching for my team, it would still be arduous in my inseam. Way to kill my buzz, you impossible-to-spell, mullet-haired freak! Alphabet Soup's ERA is worse than his xFIP, that's the good news. The bad news is everything else. His xFIP is still 4.13 and his K/9 is 6.2. He's throwing next to no walks, but maybe he should throw some if it means not letting people single you to death. I wouldn't sell Samardzija low, but I'm also more concerned now than I was in the preseason. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Points Leagues: Early Season Rankings, Thankings and Spankings
April 24, 2015 | Points Leagues | 74 Commentsby: malamoney
Only 15 games into the 2015 season, I asked myself: "Is it too early to compile positional rankings?" Considering most readers love rankings, the answer was a resounding "NO". However, what was more troubling was the fact that I consistently find myself talking to myself. Allow myself to introduce myself. That was awkward. You should only hear half the sh*t that goes on inside my head, but we'll leave that exploration into my thoughts for another time...
People of Planet Earth, please, pay for your aces. On a slate that features quite a few, there is no need to tempt fate by not building around at least one solid top tier arm and a mid-tier to make it happen. Oh sure, there will that voice inside your head that says, "Hey, Kyle Kendrick fooled everyone Opening Day and was a huge bargain!". That's the voice that needs to be driven out into the middle of the DFS cornfields and left without cab fare back to where you are rostering players.
Clayton Kershaw, Johnny Cueto, Madison Bumgarner and David Price are all on the docket, much like the aforementioned Opening Day (don't get excited, Kendrick). Kershaw at over 12K may be too pricey to engage, but Bumgarner (9.8K) and Cueto (9.5K) might be excellent targets for your ace itch. Ace itch may not sound good, but to get a good core for your evening roster, especially with so many teams going, you may just need to stop thinking and scratch.
One more thing going into the list below: Whenever teams are in Toronto and Denver, I love the stars where you can fit them in. You'll be harder pressed to do so if you've rostered aces at SP like tonight, but I didn't want the list to go by and have you wonder, "Gee, doesn't he like Adam Jones, Troy Tulowitzki, Jose Bautista, Chris Davis, et al.?" The answer is, yes, yes I do. Now onto the other guys.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
DraftKings: Making The Best Of A Bad Situation
April 16, 2015 | DraftKings | 6 Commentsby: waterloo
I'm taking a stand. I officially want to change Thursday to Slowday. Is anyone else with me? No? OK, well, anyways, it's another slow day for baseball on Thursday, with just four games in the evening slate. Personally, I prefer days where there are 12 games or so to play in the evening, allowing for numerous possibilities. On a day like today, the importance of having one or two guys different from everyone else can't be understated. Now to hit on that person or two is another story.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
A scary scene yesterday for my fantasy team. WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE MOCK ME?! I'm not saying it was Ancient Aliens, but it was Ancient Aliens. Everything was lined up for my success, then Carlos Carrasco was a little too lined up by Melky. I don't wish ill on anyone, but couldn't Melky have hit T.J. House. He's got a solid foundation. He could take the hit. Was this the Fantasy Baseball Overlord and his infinite deviousness? Why is your deviousness so infinite? In a pool of your deviousness, do you have to lifeguard it constantly? Seems dangerous. Ugh, Carrasco? More like Srir-ouch-a, I'm going to get sauced. The Indians are saying Carrasco didn't suffer a concussion, but we'll see. This might open a spot for Danny Salazar. I went to grab him in every league, but he was gone already. Then again, Jhoulys Chacin just signed a minor league deal with the Indians, and Salazar was seen riding in the rain, while the song, Just Once, played on the radio as he cried. Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Points Leagues: Bryant Park Closed For The Spring
April 3, 2015 | Points Leagues | 112 Commentsby: malamoney
